Author Topic: Zombie dogs in the lab  (Read 27337 times)

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Offline aldo_14

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Zombie dogs in the lab
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/06/29/zombie_dogs/

[q]US scientists at the Papa Doc Duvalier Center for Reanimation Studies* are celebrating ground-breaking research during which they successfully raised dogs from the grave after several hours of "clinical death".

According to news.com.au, the technique involves draining the mutts' blood and replacing it with a saline solution a couple of degrees above zero. The body temperature drops to around 7°C, provoking a cessation of breathing, heart and brain activity and rendering the subject officially dead.

To reanimate the zombie canine, the latter-day Herbert Wests reintroduce the blood while administering 100 per cent oxygen and electric shocks to jump-start the heart. The dog is apparently none the worse for its near-permanent-death experience and reportedly suffers no physical or brain damage as a result of this macabre experiment. We assume that post-resurrection mental capacity is judged by throwing a stick across the lab and seeing if the four-legged member of the Tontons Macoutes runs after it with tail-wagging enthusiasm.

Naturally, there is some perfectly legitimate science behind all this. The team reckons the technique could be used to temporarily suspend battlefield casualties, during which surgeons could repair the damage before jump-starting the bewildered grunt. One unnamed army doc enthused: "The results are stunning. I think in 10 years we will be able to prevent death in a certain segment of those using this technology."

The scientists plan to reanimate a human subject within a year. Any reader wishing to participate in this historic moment is advised to wrap up warm and fully acquaint him or herself with the works of HP Lovecraft

*Ok, we made that up. It's actually the Safar Centre for Resuscitation Research in Pittsburgh.
[/q]

I'll just start off with the :wtf: smilies, shall I?  Lovely.

 

Offline karajorma

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In a way I can see their plan actually. Freeze dry people on the scene of an accident, transport them to hospital and then fix them up before bringing them back to life.

Could actually be very useful in non-military applications (in fact I see this being more useful in civilian applications than miltary ones).

The Reg are giving an odd spin on it but if you go back an hundred years and told people that you had a revolutionary process that involved taking people who are nearly dead, cutting them open to remove the heart and then sticking that heart in another person in order to replace their own damaged heart the reaction would have been pretty much the same.

These days only Jehovah's witnesses bat an eyelid at heart transplants.
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Offline TrashMan

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Pood dogs...those sick bastards...
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Offline aldo_14

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Quote
Originally posted by karajorma
In a way I can see their plan actually. Freeze dry people on the scene of an accident, transport them to hospital and then fix them up before bringing them back to life.

Could actually be very useful in non-military applications (in fact I see this being more useful in civilian applications than miltary ones).

The Reg are giving an odd spin on it but if you go back an hundred years and told people that you had a revolutionary process that involved taking people who are nearly dead, cutting them open to remove the heart and then sticking that heart in another person in order to replace their own damaged heart the reaction would have been pretty much the same.

These days only Jehovah's witnesses bat an eyelid at heart transplants.


Replacing all the blood in the body with near-frozen saline, though?  Seems a bit bizarre.  Especially if used on bleedy-people.

 

Offline Zarax

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Hmm, interesting... I guess if this could have reflections on hibernation experiments...
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Offline Mefustae

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Quote
Originally posted by aldo_14

 Especially if used on bleedy-people.


What in the name of Sir Isaac Newton are you talking about?!

Actually, i'm thinking that, even with the immediate benefits obvious here, Animal Rights Activist loonies are going to have a field day over doing this to Dogs...:p

 

Offline Sandwich

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Offline Nico

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A bit unrelated, but... In resident Evil, they have zombie dogs, right? How come zombie dogs can run and jump around, but zombie humans can't? :p
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Offline karajorma

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Quote
Originally posted by TrashMan
Pood dogs...those sick bastards...


If you ever get cancer. Take an asprin. Lose an arm, asprin. Get an infection, witch hazel. Need a heart transplant, die.

Every single drug and medical technique was pioneered using animal testing. Don't like it, then don't use ANY of them.

I'm so sick of anti-vivisectionists acting as though it's wrong to experiment on animals when the techniques developed as a result save human lives. Especially as the same bastards who complain the loudest about it are always the first in line to use the products of those experiments when they get sick.


Quote
Originally posted by aldo_14
Replacing all the blood in the body with near-frozen saline, though?  Seems a bit bizarre.  Especially if used on bleedy-people.


As I said, hacking the heart out of one person to put into another probably seemed odd too at one point. Thankfully we didn't have bio-ethicists back then to tell us it was wrong. :rolleyes:

It sounds weird but basically its a high temperature version of cryogenics. Freeze the body so that it doesn't degrade, fix the problem, revive the patient. But not using cryogenic temperatures they get round the whole problem of ice crystals breaking the cells open.

I'll conceed that it seems like an odd way to deal with an enormous bleeding wound but if you think about it, it's much easier to replace the losses of cold saline than it is to replace blood.
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Offline aldo_14

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Quote
Originally posted by Mefustae


What in the name of Sir Isaac Newton are you talking about?!


They're (talking of) replacing peoples bloody with cooled saline solution.  How's that going to work with internal or external bleeding?

And what happens when they reintroduce the blood - what if some of the saline has 'leaked'? What're the consequences of having near-frozen saline solution sloshing about in your chest cavity?

 

Offline Nico

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You're sure that's not scam? :p
Isn't HLP awfully slow today?
« Last Edit: June 29, 2005, 07:52:46 am by 83 »
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Offline aldo_14

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Quote
Originally posted by karajorma
As I said, hacking the heart out of one person to put into another probably seemed odd too at one point. Thankfully we didn't have bio-ethicists back then to tell us it was wrong. :rolleyes:

It sounds weird but basically its a high temperature version of cryogenics. Freeze the body so that it doesn't degrade, fix the problem, revive the patient. But not using cryogenic temperatures they get round the whole problem of ice crystals breaking the cells open.

I'll conceed that it seems like an odd way to deal with an enormous bleeding wound but if you think about it, it's much easier to replace the losses of cold saline than it is to replace blood.


Don't get me wrong, I can see the reasoning behind it.  But it is a bit 'odd' to have a treatment that requires 'killing' the patient beforehand IMO; and it'd surely be very difficult to test on humans.

 

Offline karajorma

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I agree woth that. They'd have to get someone with a cancer or something that was considered inoperable due to the danger of killing the patient.

Depending on how this works they might be able to prevent brain damage for long enough to repair the damage the operation did.

Faced with either death or a slim chance of life I know what I'd pick.
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Offline Nico

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Quote
Originally posted by karajorma
I agree woth that. They'd have to get someone with a cancer or something that was considered inoperable due to the danger of killing the patient.  


I think they would rather go the Robocop way. You get a deadly road accident for exemple, and do the blood swapping with one of the casualities.
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Offline Rictor

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Wouldn't it be more efficient to transplant the brain into a healthy body? And not just a regular body, but one with superhuman strength and reflexes, able to crush those who foolishly oppose it!

 

Offline redsniper

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I read about this in Scientific American, thought it was awesome. :yes:
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Offline karajorma

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Quote
Originally posted by Nico
I think they would rather go the Robocop way. You get a deadly road accident for exemple, and do the blood swapping with one of the casualities.


Problem with that is that it's an experimental procedure and it would be hard to get the permission of anyone who actually needs it.
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Offline aldo_14

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Tell them it'll stop aging for a few hours and you'll get them queuing up to be subjects.......

 

Offline pyro-manic

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Interesting indeed. I approve. :yes:
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Offline Ford Prefect

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I'm a little unsettled by the latest photos from the lab....


EDIT: Images never work. :mad:
« Last Edit: June 29, 2005, 03:21:01 pm by 2015 »
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