Author Topic: And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...  (Read 47224 times)

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Offline Dysko

And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
Command: One thousands posts to go! Thirty new threads and counting!
Alpha 4: Incoming Mod at 4 o' clock! Spammer acquired, I'm locking the thread down!
Command: Other 25 new threads! Get more Mod cover on this board, Moderators! We're almost there! Standing by to initiate locking sequence!
Beta 1: I've got him! I've got him! Oh yeah, troll down!
Beta 3: Beautiful banning, sir!
Command: 10... 9... 8... 7...
Alpha 2: This thread is all clear!
Command: 6... 5... 4... 3... Locking sequence initiated... Stage 1... Stage 2... Stage 3...
All threads with spam blow up.
Command: Locking sequence completed!
My aviation photography website: GolfVictorSpotting.it

 

Offline Mobius

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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
"To the officers and crew of the GTD Aquitaine: We have halted the Spammers advance. The Battle of Inferno is over. We sealed off the board, and our members are safe - maybe forever."

"No one can fathom how or why the Spammers destroyed HLP. Though we know our enemy better now than we did when the VBB went down, their motives remain a mystery. Perhaps they are exiles like we are, nomads wandering the Internet searching for a place where they can spam. The destruction of a forum might be the bridge between this universe and their own. As the old Admin once said, There are more things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

"From our odyssey into the Inferno board, we return with a gift: the Admin CP technology to build another board. To restore the link to our forum. To return home after all these years of spamming."

"This is Admiral Petrarch, signing off."


:lol:
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Offline Snail

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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
The following is a [PRIVATE] Internal board. Unauthorized access is punishable under the HLP Security Act, SWC Source Code, Section 21.3.5.

We vanquished the Spammers in The Pub, but the hard questions remained. How would we confront the threat of future spamming? The Spammers might return at any thread, any board, without warning. How would we fight the next threat to the very existence of our threads?

On the tenth anniversary of the spam attack on the Padded Cell board, the administrator Goober5000 addressed the newly formed HLP Operations Management. The administrator inaugurated an ambitious and unprecedented joint endeavour: the HLP Anti-Spam 5000.

Goober5000: Together we built a forum from the collapse of Volition Watch, and now we stand on the threshold of a new era of prosperity and harmony. With Project Anti-Spam, the community celebrate our renewed covenant of peaceful coexistence and mutual defence of our community allies.

The Anti-Spam 5000 is the most powerful forum-faring banner ever constructed. Spanning six boards from ban to stern, the Anti-Spam has taken over twenty years to program. Twelve an0n-class spammers can fit within its massive hull. Its state-of-the-art banning includes forty-five censor turrets, fifteen non-racist guns, twelve monkey batteries, and twelve ban cannons. The Anti-Colossus wields more firepower than five VBB Hammer of Justice-class destroyers combined. Sixty locker and banner wings are housed in its vast sub-forum, and its administrators number over three. Among its major contractors are forum giants Goober5000, Kalfireth, and Taristin.

The Administration now wages banning on multiple fronts: in The Pub, The Inferno Web Cafe, The Terran Vasudan War Board, and the mysterious nebula beyond The Classics Section. Once deployed, the Anti-Spam 5000 will end these conflicts swiftly and decisively. If ever the spammers return to threaten our threads, we will be ready to face the words, securing the forum for today and for generations to come.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2007, 01:40:55 pm by Snail »

 

Offline Dysko

And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
Seriously, we should rewrite both FS campaigns from this new point of view :lol:
My aviation photography website: GolfVictorSpotting.it

 

Offline shiven_warior

  • 26
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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
lolz thats even a more diffcult task then getting snail to stop spamming <_<
i know i misspeld my name >_<

 

Offline Snail

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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
Good morning, pilots. I'm going to get right to it. The spamming forces are sprouting up everywhere, and it's no secret that our main boards are taking a beating. As you probably know, no one has been able to communicate with them (they don't even read our posts); and HLP Moderation have no leads on their origins or their motives. On the upside, their spamming technology seems to be working just fine for us. By this afternoon, all fighters stationed on The Pub will have been fitted with them. Try to keep them intact, all right?

The cruiser Takashi is suspected to be the source of command for the spammers in this sector. It's here in the General FreeSpace Board, and we suspect it's low on fighters and supplies due to its recent attack runs. We have reason to believe it will soon jump to another board to respammuy. We don't know where it will jump to, but there is only one subspace node out of General FreeSpace and we intend to ban it. In the interest of learning more about the spammy bastards, we're going to attempt something bold: the capture of the Takashi.

 

Offline shiven_warior

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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
lol wont u guys ever run out of ideas?
i know i misspeld my name >_<

 

Offline Mobius

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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
:lol:

"Thirty-two years ago in the VBB forums, Admins discovered the remnants of an extinct civilization we now call the Anti-Spammers. In here we found the secret to defeating the Spammers<obvious, no?>. How close did we come to being a footnote in the history of a future group of spammers that would happen upon the ruins of our forums ten thousand posts from now? Would they indulge in the fan fiction of their own immortality until the Spammers came for them?"

"And how long had this gone on? Did the Anti-Spammers stumble upon the locked topics and the Archived Boards of their predecessors in this distant corner of this forum, dismissing the warnings carved in the walls of the Pinned Topics? And when the spammers came at last, what did the Anti-Spamers think as they assisted to the locking of boards and the banning of members, staring into the mute remains for a keyboard, some solution to their plight?"

"What if there had been countless spammers, stretching back into infinity; and like the nine forums of Razor, each forum had been built on the rubble of one that came before, each annihilated by the Spammers?"

"The Anti-Spammers died eight thousand posts ago as the noobs emerged from their Neolithic infancy. They believed their voyage across the sea of spams woke the dragon that slept beneath the forums: that the Spammers were birthed from the flux of posts and their destruction was the revenge of an angry Admin."


:lol:
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Inferno: Nostos - Alliance
Series Resurrecta: {{FS Wiki Portal}} -  Gehenna's Gate - The Spirit of Ptah - Serendipity (WIP) - <REDACTED> (WIP)
FreeSpace Campaign Restoration Project
A tribute to FreeSpace in my book: Riflessioni dall'Infinito
My interviews: [ 1 ] - [ 2 ] - [ 3 ]

 

Offline Snail

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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
(Spoken by an Administration narrator)

And we retreated to our Grognards section, abandoned our forum. We believed at the Grognards section we would be safe. For they are not an administrative species.

We know when we entered the public forum we were trespassers, but the Grognards is our home.

And yet still they came.

And our board is gone.

 

Offline jr2

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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
:eek2:  This should be made into a campaign, like Deus Ex or JAD.  :lol:

 

Offline shiven_warior

  • 26
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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
lol the spam campaing heh thats gonna be funny :P
i know i misspeld my name >_<

 

Offline TrashMan

  • T-tower Avenger. srsly.
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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...

"I remember stories of a glorious forum. Of mods with shipmodels that reached the sun. Of a forum with hundreds of threads. Of people with stupidity of humanity everlasting.

This one is for keeps :D
Nobody dies as a virgin - the life ****s us all!

You're a wrongularity from which no right can escape!

 

Offline Mobius

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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
"I know why the Anti-Spammers were destroyed, and I know what they knew. I know that if not for the Spammers, they would have been banned long before. Without the Spammers, someone would have discovered the Anti-Spammers in their infancy and banned or monkeyed them, just as surely as they banned countless billions of others."

"I believe it is only the spammers who are banned. The Spammers are the Great Destroyers Of Forums, but they are also the Great Preservers. That is why, when we moved into this forum, there was no one powerful enough to ban us elsewhere."

"Long had we been the spammers. Our turn had nearly come."

"In the Pub Flame War, we learned how to adapt. We learned how to study our enemy. We learned how to overcome. We learned how to survive. And so we did."

"All the threads of The Pub are archived. But the Spammers can bring them back. I'm told we can expect their spamming again, but not in my lifetime. Such is liberation."


:lol:
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Inferno: Nostos - Alliance
Series Resurrecta: {{FS Wiki Portal}} -  Gehenna's Gate - The Spirit of Ptah - Serendipity (WIP) - <REDACTED> (WIP)
FreeSpace Campaign Restoration Project
A tribute to FreeSpace in my book: Riflessioni dall'Infinito
My interviews: [ 1 ] - [ 2 ] - [ 3 ]

 

Offline Dysko

And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
"Avoid the flames and you won't get banned, pilots!"

"Oh my God! It's an Admin!"

"Acknowledged! Troll configuration! Repeat, troll configuration!"

"Administration control, open fire on the n00bs!"

"Those Hammers of Justice were piece of junk. I have even followed the FAQ."
My aviation photography website: GolfVictorSpotting.it

 

Offline Mobius

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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
"Target exceeds Administrator specifications. Reading multiple post signatures!"

"Two Spammers class noobs have jumped in! The Snail and the Takashi!"

"Snail's Giant Spammer has jumped in, the SGS Spam! The big noob has taken our bait! Now deploying the Karajorma! "
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Inferno: Nostos - Alliance
Series Resurrecta: {{FS Wiki Portal}} -  Gehenna's Gate - The Spirit of Ptah - Serendipity (WIP) - <REDACTED> (WIP)
FreeSpace Campaign Restoration Project
A tribute to FreeSpace in my book: Riflessioni dall'Infinito
My interviews: [ 1 ] - [ 2 ] - [ 3 ]

 

Offline Snail

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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
"Good God, we've lost the Karajorma!

"The LGM is no more, that's what you flyboys are paid for!"

"Incoming log in signature, spamming configuration!"

"Damn it, TrashMan, watch the friendly fire!"

"I can't lock the threads much longer!"

"The LGM's hull integrity has dropped below critical! We're almost there!"

"Monkeys incoming!"

"Oh, yeah, monkey down, monkey down!"
"Excellent ban, sir!

"It's a miracle we won the Great Flame War.
"No bans, no monkeys, no lock guns."

"Reading incoming spammers from the advertising portal."

"The LGM has jumped, repeat, the n00b has jumped!"

"Form up, Tyrian, we must protect these Moderators until the Admin arrives.

"Rather be fighting n00bs if you ask me. I never signed on for banning Spammers."
"Don't kid yourself. We're the ones being banned."

"Put it this way. If Turey's Installer goes down, so do we."

"n00bs like us call it modifying posts."

"Look alive pilots, n00bs headed your way!"

"The thread's too long, we can't lock it. We'll have to tow it to The Padded Cell."

"Negative, Moderator, the n00bs are the only legitimate authority in THIS board."
"As you wish. Bannery control, ban him!"

"Although our moderators have destroyed the n00b's Outrage, the LGM continues to bombard the board with heavy post fire."

"Your self-righteous posturing insults us both, staffer, Machina Terra will never be released!"

"See if you can get into the internal board."

"Stay away from the thread and you won't get hit, n00b!"

 

Offline Dysko

And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
Ok, this is not much spamming-themed, but...

Alpha 2: The asteroid is breaking apart, Command!
Me: It must be a FIAT...

 :lol:

 :nervous:
*runs*
My aviation photography website: GolfVictorSpotting.it

 

Offline diceman111

  • 28
  • Keep on playing Glottis, keep on playing.....
And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
Ok, this is not much spamming-themed, but...

Alpha 2: The asteroid is breaking apart, Command!
Me: It must be a FIAT...

 :lol:

 :nervous:
*runs*

Change it to Alpha Romeo and it might make more sense ............... thise car might be look good but they are put together by rats with rabies
Flames Of War Chapter III - http://web.comhem.se/~u35702611

"If at first you don't succeed try a bigger thermonuclear weapon" - My philosophy on life

"I dont care if we smack it into her or smack it out of her just aslong as there's smacking invovled" - Max from Sam & Max Situation Comedy

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 (These messages was brought to you by the people from DFWD (Diceman For World Domination))

 

Offline Snail

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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
This thread is greate. ;)

"IP confirmed, takashi's in bound!"

 

Offline Mobius

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And they hurled themselves into the void of spam with no fear...
"Good God, we've lost the Karajorma!

LLMAO!

"As you know, noobs are protected under the Beta Aquilae Convention, but LGM has rejected that treaty and its provisions."

"Unfortunately, most of the noobs have been welcomed by LGM."

"Secondary and tertiary keyboards are down! My hands are red! We're posting there everything we've got!"

"Though we have destroyed the Takashi, the Snail continues to bombard HLP with heavy post fire." :P

"I've confirmed this banning with my government. Consider yourselves...fortunate!"


:lol:
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Inferno: Nostos - Alliance
Series Resurrecta: {{FS Wiki Portal}} -  Gehenna's Gate - The Spirit of Ptah - Serendipity (WIP) - <REDACTED> (WIP)
FreeSpace Campaign Restoration Project
A tribute to FreeSpace in my book: Riflessioni dall'Infinito
My interviews: [ 1 ] - [ 2 ] - [ 3 ]