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So, my wife has been watching B5 from beginning to end, and I have come across two instances of in-universe jokes being used on the show, two of which are "Light Bulb" jokes. That prompted me to come up with a few of my own. Some are funny, others are perhaps worth a shrug. I will share them in this thread and hope that others chime in with their own.
How many Minbari does it take to screw in a light bulb? (Different from Sheridan's)
Answer: 3. The Minbari do everything in threes.
How many Minbari Religious Cast members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: None. They claim that the bulb is not burn out because it was never on in the first place. The light was coming in from somewhere else.
How many Dock Workers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: One to change the light bulb, 4 to hold the ladder as per safety regulations, and 30 to scrounge enough parts to build the replacement bulb since there isn't enough money in the budget to buy a new one.
How many Gaim does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it takes the Queens weeks to grow the specific breed of Gaim for the explicit purpose of changing said light bulb.
How many Psi Cops does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: None. They just implant the compulsion into someone else's mind to do it for them.
How many Drazi does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it takes the entire Drazi people a whole year of beating the tar out of each other to determine whether the light bulb will be Green or Purple.
Time for someone else to chime in. Either with one of their own or with a better punchline.
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How many Vorlons does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: There is no such thing as "lightbulb". We are all Kosh
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What's more dangerous than a locked room full of angry Narn?
One angry Narn with the key.
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What's more dangerous than a locked room full of angry Narn?
One angry Narn with the key.
What is more dangerous than the above?
said room which know a Centari is on the other side
How many Shadows does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer1: 0, but that shadow vessel is about to cut the room in half
Answer2: 1, but they need to mind control the poor sod first
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How many Shadows does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: None, living in the dark promotes evolution.
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How many Shadows does it take to screw in a light bulk?
Answer: Who cares, as long as its a black light. :pimp:
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How many Centauri does it take to change a light bulb?
No one really knows buy there will be centuries of drinking and telling tales of the glorious task.
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:yes:
That one would have also worked for Klingons, but that's another universe.
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A Shadow, a Vorlon, and Lorien went to Space Bar, and it all got quite out of hand fast. The Space Bar staff had to call in the Space Cops to deal with the inebriated trio.
While they were being hauled to Space Police Station at the back of the Space Police Hauler, they woke up, and each asked a question from the nearest Space Police officer...
"W̧̯͍̜̣̼͙͉͛ͦ̅ͬͮ̅̎h̷ͥ̐͋̓͢ͅa̝̞ͨ̔͊̄t̵̬̘̘̭ͩ͗̌̆ͧ̒̏ͭ̓ ̵̲͙̺̖ͫͅͅd̡̼̯͇͓͛o̼̅̋̓͋͞ ̵̜̮̫̜͓͍̹̭̓ͪÿ̡̬̗̝̗̩̩̪̯͎́̒̎́̈̐͑̒̔ợ̵̩̜̲̏u̵̟̩̖͔̥̩̰̳̔̃̂̆̃͡ ̵̰̼͎͎͌͛̽̌́̓̃̓͂ŵ̮͚̤̹̈́̓̅̒̋̾̓a̪͕̞̣̰̞̹̪̖ͥ̍ͨ͐͗̉̚n̪͈̳̣̈̀t̵͚̲͉̥͇ͧ̒?̨͕̘ͭ͌́͛͛ͤͦ"
"Who are you?"
"Where are we going?"
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Ehhhhh, this thread's only going to go one way, like all the others. Soon, the other races in the galaxy will be in here trolling and wheeling out the same old "arrogance and stupidity" jokes about the start of the Earth-Minbari War... :rolleyes:
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How many Pak'ma'ra does it take to change a light bulb?
It's not possible as the Pak'ma'ra would eat the light bulb.
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How many members of the Grey Council does it take to change a light bulb?
None; they stand between the candle and the star for light.
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How many Earth Alliance Citizens does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, that's a job for the Ministry of Lightbulb Changing, failure to comply is punishable by death.
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How many Zathras does it take to change a light bulb?
Yes, Zathras understand. Everyone always coming to Zathras with problems. Big responsibility but Zathras does not mind. Zathras trained in crisis management.
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How many rangers does it take to change a light bulb?
One duh. They're competent individuals.
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Sheridan: Knock knock. :)
Ivanova: Who's there? :sigh:
Sheridan: Kosh. :)
Ivanova: ...Kosh who? :sigh:
Sheridan: Gesundheit. :)
Ivanova: :nono:
Sheridan: :)
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New one:
What do Minbari celebrate on February 14th?
Valen-tines Day.
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The Rangers take it a step farther, it's a holiday for single people instead of couples. "Live for the one, die for the one", right?
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It could be for single Vorlons looking at photos of Scarlett Johanssen on the Internet..... "those"ones.
" a moment of perfect beauty "