[adratgg]

Here's some of hte best ones:

#  When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

# Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
# Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

# Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

# There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

# When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

# Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

# Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

# Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

# Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

# Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

# Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

# Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

# Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

# Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
 
# Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
 
# Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale.
 
# Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."

also when bruce banner gets mad, he turms into the hulk, when the hulk gets mad he turns into chuck norris

[TrashMan]

# What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

# Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

# Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

# There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

# There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.