OK, ran through this one. Technically, it's decent, with only a few errors. The main ones I found:
- Spelling and Grammer, as to be expected. Run the entire mission through Word and let it fix your spelling, making the changes in FRED.
- The Briefing cuts from stage 1 -> 2, but doesn't cut if you go backwards from 2 -> 1. Go back and check "Cut to previous stage" in Stage 2. And while you're in the briefing editor... Level Off Your Views! It's a pet peeve of mine. Rotate your view to be roughly perpendicular to the XZ Grid, then go into the Misc menu and choose "Align Object". This'll sort these out, but remember to click on save view after you've done so.
- This is more aesthetic than technical, but try not to use too many obviously 20th century stuff - fishing is OK (though not exactly ideal, though I suppose that's even more an issue of personal taste) but replace C4 with the more generic term "explosives".
- The Transport has no cargo. Change it to explosives.
- The Transport took bloody ages to blow, which spoilt the flow of the mission IMO. I know there is a way to force these things to blow up instantaneously, but half an hour of trying different methods and racking my brain hasn't helped, so I still don't know what it is. Kara?
- Why the heck was the Julius Turret/Beam locked? Shouldn't it have been attempting to defend itself?
- The mission had support available, which probably shouldn't have happened given that you're stuck behind enemy lines with no access to the GTVA (I think).
- When you end the mission, force the player to jump out at the node. Just put a waypoint at the exact location of the jump node (Use the Position and Orientation editor) then use a repeating event to turn on never-warp when you're further than the radius of the node (about 750 m), and allow-warp when you're less than that distance. Don't use break warp, as that can be repaired with a support ship. Not that that'll matter n this mission, but it's not a good habit to get into.
- There's no need to put "No Reccomendations" after all the successful debriefs - FS2 will do this automatically.
Those were the technical problems I found. But they weren't the main problems I had with the mission. I found it very...well, boring. Not because of the fundamental design of the mission as such, but more the way it was implemented. At no point did I feel any real immersion, any sense of the importance of what I was doing. The best way to et this is by using carefully placed messages. All the messages I encountered came either before or after the battle - what you need is a few within the battle. Have the Julius request cover with increasing intensity as its hull strength drops. Give the player warning of incoming fighters from ingame perspectives. Make a note of the dropping status of the Rakshasa, of the degree of success with the Transport Gambit. Warn the player if he's too close to the blast. Messages are of key importance when getting the atmosphere right, and, for my missions, they're the most difficult and time consuming part. Probably not what you want to hear, but it'll make your mission much more exciting and fun to play.
Also, try to vary the hostiles a little. Given the relative lack of real variety in small Freespace craft (If you disregard design, the differences between Shivan fighters are relatively minimal - some are harder to kill, but they all behave basically the same) defence missions tend towards a stagnant Turkey shoot, which is boring. Emphasizing the importance of the shivan cruiser should break things up a little, but you'd probably get the best results by spicing things up with a wing or two of bombers in there (turning on the weapons on the Deimos will allow you to send more hostiles against it without making the mission too hard, though it will mean a bit of rebalancing).
Finally, get rid of the Maxim. The Maxim is an awesome weapon, but that very coolness makes it inappropriate in this sort of mission. I tried to do what I thought any sensible player would do and gave myself the best loadout I could (In my case, HercII with a Circe, Maxim and two banks of Harpoons), and the Maxim above all else seemed to contribute to the Turkey shoot factor, especially when I suspect, if I'd bothered to go through and arm the whole wing the way I did myself, we could have dealt with at least one of those Corvettes ourselves.
Incidentally, how are the fighters supposed to reach the Julius (for debrief) before the corvettes do if we leave after them?[/COLOR]
