yeah i was noodling around online and located this recipe. i thought it was hilarious, and its a serious recipe, so i gave it a shot, and man, it is awesome. better even than those crumb topped ones that you can buy premade (cuz those are awesome.)
of course this jerk (i apologize for offending jerks everywhere) probably copied it from somewhere and just added his pointless crap to it, but the real "meat" of this pie is in the postings at the bottom of the recipe. some of it is silly, but using a little brain power, you can see which ingredients to IGNORE (if you cant, then you really need help. and if you manage to make it as it is listed you seriously need to be thrown in gitmo....NO PRAYER MAT FOR YOU!!) but seriously, i will paste it as it was posted, it really gave me a chuckle, but is an honest, yummy recipe.
Warning to easily offended people, this particular guy (child?) has a foul mouth. i will attempt to put the posts in a spoiler section (not sure how to do that particular tag) so if it doesnt come up right, i apologize, but given the subject matter, i feel its appropriate to point out my ability to edit the post later. (read it, you will get the joke)
User: "NUKE9999" posts [My Mammy's Nuclear Apple Pie!] [-07:44 GMT-6/14/10]
Note: Pastry for 2 crusts (recipe below)
8 cups sliced, peeled assorted baking apples - about 3 lbs. (Granny Smith, Cortland, Jonathan)
2 Tablespoons lemon juice
3/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 Kg plutonium 232 [in slug form]
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
5 Kg uranium core [spherical honeycomb]
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 Tablespoons butter
Internal barrel (diameter of slug -0.023mm, non rifled)
1 egg yolk
non shock sensitive explosive equal in energy release to between 500 to 650 lbs of tri-nitro toluene (c4 wurx gud, chekk my other recipes!)
[Recipe Question-20:17 GMT-6/16/10-by User: DarthGarth69] "waht is the trinitro tolly stuff?"
[Recipe Edited-13:28 GMT-6/17/10-by User: NUKE9999] "DarthGarth how stoopid is yuu? yuu not pass sceince class? it’s TNT you FOO! U juss gawt pooned, yuu stoopid mutha [*!*!*!*!*!*] dam son, yuu gotta B dum as a [*!*!*!*!*!*] brikk!"
{User: SysAdmin - User "NUKE9999" Please refrain from using foul language. Further innapropriate behaviour will result in possible ban }
1 Tablespoon milk
Directions:
1. In a large bowl, toss the sliced apples with lemon juice.
2. Combine sugars, flour, cinnamon and nutmeg; add to apples and toss well to coat.
3. Fill pastry lined 9 inch bomb casing with apple mixture. Dot with butter.
then hammer the slug in the uranium ball and put it in the middle of teh pie
4. Place second crust on top of pie filling, cut slits in top of crust to vent. Seal the edges of the crust with a fork or by hand.
5. In a small bowl, beat the egg yolk and milk. beat it like rodnee king. Brush mixture over top crust.
6. Bake at 425 degrees F for 15 minutes in nuclear reactor
7. Reduce heat to 350 degrees F and bake 40-45 minutes more or until crust is golden and filling is glowing green.
Flaky Pastry Pie Crust Recipe
Makes two 9-inch pie crusts
Ingredients:
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter, chilled and diced
1/2 cup ice water
Directions:
1. Combine the flour and salt in a large bowl.
2. Cut in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.
3. Stir in the ice water, a Tablespoon at a time, until the crust mixture forms a ball.
4. Wrap dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 4 hours or overnight.
5. Sprinkle flour onto rolling surface. Roll dough out, then divide in half. Roll each half to fit a 9-inch pie plate.
6. Place crust in pie plate, pressing evenly into the bottom and sides.
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[Recipe Comment-08:03 GMT-6/14/10-by User: NUKE9999] me meemaws pie. roffelzez if u try, u have glowin poopz, foo!
[Recipe Comment-13:31 GMT-6/17/10-by User: NUKE9999] gawd dam stoopid as.s auto filter cant gitt around shiite ha, foo! if you aint sunni yuu aint shiite. IRAQ gud for sumpin beaches! need to mayk shirt that sez that. sell in mideest git lotza moneez!
[Recipe Comment-09:54 GMT-6/18/10-by User: DarthGarth69] and im sure your mother is proud of you. you have such a grasp of grammer. and you realize that the filter is there to stop idiots like you, right? they update the different spellings constantly. so keep it up , you...howd you put it? FOO? you sound too young to know who mr t is. and he would definately pity you. i know i do.
[Recipe Comment-15:28 GMT-6/18/10-by User: NUKE9999] fug yu dumas.s i mayk mrt my beach. stoopid filter made by peepels lyke yu. i can spelz cirkulz arownd itt and nevur gitt cawt. and if yu downt buhleev me, then yu can do lyke yo mamma did last night and likk my fuglin as.s yuu ghei little [*!*!*!*!*!*] likkur!
{User: SysAdmin - User "NUKE9999" Please refrain from using foul language. Further innapropriate behaviour will result in PERMANENT ban }
[Recipe Comment-15:29 GMT-6/18/10-by User: NUKE9999] whut? i caynt say [*!*!*!*!*!*] i mean seeriusslee? its a femail bodee part not a durtee wurd. np, darth i hurd yo mamma tattood my name on hers. see how i get around filtur? yu r idiot, and wurse, yuu r idoiot with slu.t mama who gotz my naym tatted on both of her [*!*!*!*!*!*] lipz like a gud littel beach. maybe i let yu cleen her up when i git dunn. rules are for virjinz lyke yu. reel men brake em, an downt git cawt. jus like yu didint cawt mee when i blew that fat load in yo mammyz [*!*!*!*!*!*] last nyte. go ahed, tell on mee. i erase this with edit b4 yu git admin tu look at itt. i see yu online now. i kno yu see this. get all madz cuz i been pumpin yo beach mama's [*!*!*!*!*!*]. and yu nevR git me bannd, cuz i edit and i kno how to git around stoopid filtur so i kan tell yu whut i did to yo mammy. i git yo granny next. rinkels r hawt. sagbuubz turrn me on, that why i lyke yo mama. go ahed git admin whiny boy. i edit while i bang yo mammy [*!*!*!*!*!*] agin. it be gone before i git band cuz i jus 2 dam smartz 4 u. :P
{User: SysAdmin - User "NUKE9999"'s account has been BANNED; An E-mail has been sent to *********@comcast.net. If this is not your address, or you wish to discuss the reasons for your accounts BANNED status, please contact the site administrator in the "Support" section of the site.}
[Recipe Comment-15:36 GMT-6/18/10-by User: DarthGarth69] Surely good sir, your superior intellect far exceeds that of my own. (admins please please dont prune this, please! i think that i was born just to see that. please dont erase. maybe save this somewhere. then we can say 'i have proof god exists. really its true. still don't beleive? let me show this recipe to you" ROFL. might wanna lock comments though. he probably is making new account now. we should leave this AS IS. its just too perfect.
[Recipe Comment-16:12 GMT-6/18/10-by User: *ADMIN*PsycoChefFoisGras] He can try. Bans are done by the users IP address. And comcast is a cable internet service provider. Cable internet connections use a "static" or permanent IP addy. He will have to get a new ISP to get around the ban, and I think DJGrannySmith added a script that reads your computer name a few months back. So he will need a new computer and a new service provider. He won't be back. I will have to ask DJGran about this. I dont know if he will want this to stay up. My advice would be to copy/paste into notepad if you want to save this.
[Recipe Comment-16:17 GMT-6/18/10-by User: DarthGarth69] thanks. but for real. seriously, like, 'nuff said. PROOF. GOD. EXISTS.
[TOPIC ACTION **TOPIC_LOCK** -16:21 GMT-6/18/10-by User: *ADMIN*PsycoChefFoisGras]
dude. i loved the bit about "if you aint sunni, you aint shiite" i mean, it might be dark humor, but i give the moron credit for that one. that shirt WOULD sell like hotcakes. :lol:
anywho, there you go goober, i searched it out on a whim and after about 5 pages of results i find this gem. might not be word for word what i said, but its just too funny not to post. that and dont want to waste another 20 minutes of my life looking up something just for giggles. (unless i am looking for stuff to make me giggle. its just such a treat to find one without looking. probably used up my entire years worth of luck finding that. should have bought a lotto ticket. :banghead: )