General Notes:
- the logo is very, very ugly. I'd consider changing that ASAP
- the campaign description could also use a revision, this "An alternate universe that is similar, but different, path from that of the original Freespace takes a " doesn't sound right.
Mission 1
Command briefing 3/3: "The ship's last transmission"->"The ships last transmission"
Briefing 4/7 and 5/7: Please remove the enemy wing names and classes. Unknown will do.
Briefing 6/7: "doesn't go offline on own"->"Doesn't go offline on its own"
After Nova has docked: "this place is a blood bath". I am unsure if a place can be a blood bath. A event may be characterized as a "blood bath", but I don't know about a place. Consider revising.
Message from Hall: "Okay Alpha 1" -> Should change to something more generic, why would he adress Alpha 1?
Hall: "We finished with the data" -> "We have finished with the data"
The directive's are funny. Consider changing them (Smash Shiva, Eliminate Rama, Kill Vishnu)
Change ingame ship names (Nova->GTT Nova, Hall->GTD Hall)
Secondary objective: "Destroy any enemy fighters/bombers"->"Destroy all hostiles"
Hall: "The GTD Hall is up and running despite being beat to hell and covered in blood"-> Consider revising, "beat"->"beaten", and it just sound odd.
Also god do they work fast. They downloaded all the data and repaired a destroyers engines in 3 minutes!!!
That is all I could find on first playthrough through M1. Will continue