[Androgeos Exeunt]

Over the past few weeks, I've found myself putting several battles in BP:WiH in a Pokemon battle-esque form. I've been posting them up as the topic on the BP beta testers' IRC channel on EsperNet, but I was "encouraged" by The E to create a thread on them if I'm fine with running the risk of getting stares and as well as being reminded that HLP is neither a democracy or dictatorship.

Now bear in mind that while these are done in nearly the same vein as a wild Pokemon encounter or Pokemon battle, they are not exactly the same.

By the way, everything here contains spoilers.


bp-02: The Dragon Awakes

A wild MANTICORE appeared!
Go! BEI, COREY, TAYLOR and NEHRU!
BEI used HARPOON!
Enemy MANTICORE is loafing around!
BEI used BEAT UP!
BEI's attack!
COREY's attack!
TAYLOR's attack!
NEHRU's attack!
Enemy MANTICORE fainted!
BEI gained 1 exp. points!
COREY gained 4 exp. points!
TAYLOR gained 5 exp. points!
NEHRU gained a boosted 10 exp. points!

SHIVANS wants to fight!
SHIVANS sent out DRAGON!
Go! BEI, COREY, TAYLOR and NEHRU!
Enemy DRAGON used DOUBLE TEAM!
Enemy DRAGON's EVADE rose!
BEI used BEAT UP!
Enemy DRAGON evaded attack!
Enemy DRAGON used HEAVY LASER!
Critical hit!
NEHRU fainted!
Go! AL'FADIL, ZETA 2 and ZETA 3!
AL'FADIL used BEAT UP!
BEI's attack!
AL'FADIL's attack!
COREY's attack!
TAYLOR's attack!
ZETA 2's attack!
ZETA 3's attack!
It's super effective!
DRAGON fainted!
ORESTES defeated SHIVANS!
SHIVANS: ...
ORESTES got C$28 for winning!


bp-21: Universal Truth

Enemy DANTE used BFRED!
Hit 4 times!
PRESERVER used LRABEAM!
Critical hit!
Enemy DANTE used BFRED!
Hit 3 times!
PRESERVER used LRABEAM!
Critical hit!
Enemy DANTE used BFRED!
Hit 2 times!
PRESERVER used LRABEAM!
Critical hit!
Enemy DANTE used BFRED!
PRESERVER used DISABLE!
Enemy DANTE's BFRED was disabled!
Enemy DANTE is out of usable moves!
Enemy DANTE used STRUGGLE!
It's not very effective...
Enemy DANTE's hit with recoil!
PRESERVER used LRABEAM!
Critical hit!


bp2-02: Collateral Damage

Enemy ARES used TAG-C!
Enemy ARES identified AKULA!
Enemy ATREUS used EOS!
Critical hit!
Critical hit!
Critical hit!
Critical hit!
Hit 23 times!
AKULA fainted!
GTVA ADM. STEELE sent out SERKR!
Enemy SERKR used BEAT UP!
Enemy MARCUS GLAIVE's attack!
Enemy PILUM's attack!
Enemy HYDRA's attack!
RANVIR fainted!
Get'm, SHUDUHUNE!
SHUDUHUNE used JACKHAMMER!
It's not very effective...
Enemy SERKR used SUBSPACE!
Enemy SERKR fled the battle!


bp2-10: Aristeia
GTVA ADM. STEELE wants to fight!
GTVA ADM. STEELE sent out HOOD, SERKR and J.E.HOOVER!
Go! INDUS, YANGTZE, AGINCOURT, LAPORTE, SIMMS, NG'MEI, OLEFUMI and GAMMA!
OLEFUMI used CURSE!
OLEFUMI's SPEED fell!
OLEFUMI's ATTACK rose!
KEN used X SPECIAL on LAPORTE!
LAPORTE's SPECIAL rose!
SIMMS used FOCUS ENERGY!
SIMMS is getting pumped!

UEF ADM. CALDER sent out ANJANEYA!
ANJANEYA used JAMMER!
Jamming begins to commence.
Enemy SERKR used BEAT UP!
Enemy SERKR's attack missed!
ANJANEYA used DISABLE!
Enemy SERKR's BEAT UP was disabled!

UEF ADM. CALDER sent out TOUTATIS!
TOUTATIS is exerting its Pressure!
Enemy J.E.HOOVER used DISABLE!
TOUTATIS's APOCALYPSE is disabled!
Enemy HOOD used TERSLASH!
LAPORTE used ROAR!
Enemy J.E.HOOVER ran away scared!
TOUTATIS is disabled no more!
TOUTATIS used APOCALYPSE!
Critical hit!
Critical hit!
Critical hit!
Critical hit!
Critical hit!
Critical hit!
Critical hit!
Critical hit!
Hit 12 times!
Enemy HOOD used SUBSPACE!
Enemy HOOD fled the battle!
WARGODS defeated GTVA ADM. STEELE!
STEELE: So, I've lost...
WARGODS got C$645 125 for winning!


bp2-15: Delenda Est

INDUS used BEAT UP!
ALTAN ORDE's attack!
KATANA's attack!
KYOTO's attack!
INSUPERABLE's attack!
YANGTZE's attack!
INDUS's attack!
It's not very effective...
Enemy ??? used TAG-C!
Enemy ??? identified HANUMAN!
Enemy CARTHAGE used BGREEN!
It's super effective!
HANUMAN fainted!
HANUMAN's jamming wears off!
GTVA ADM. STEELE sent out IMPERIEUSE!
Enemy IMPERIEUSE's INTIMIDATE cuts INDUS's attack!
Enemy IMPERIEUSE's INTIMIDATE cuts YANGTZE's attack!
Enemy IMPERIEUSE used BBLUE!
Hit 3 times!
ALTAN ORDE fainted!
Enemy IMPERIEUSE used BBLUE!
It's super effective!
Hit 3 times!
KATANA fainted!
GTVA ADM. STEELE sent out BOANERGES!
Enemy IMPERIEUSE used BBLUE!
Critical hit!
It's super effective!
Hit 3 times!
KYOTO fainted!
Enemy BOANERGES used MAXIM!
It's super effective!
YANGTZE has been paralysed! It may not be able to move!
YANGTZE used BURSTFLAK!
Critical hit!
INDUS used BURSTFLAK!
Enemy BOANERGES fainted!
Enemy IMPERIEUSE used BBLUE!
Hit 3 times!
INSUPERABLE fainted!
YANGTZE used SWORDS DANCE!
YANGTZE's attack rose!
INDUS used CRASHJUMP!
INDUS fled the battle!
Enemy IMPERIEUSE used BBLUE!
Hit 3 times!
YANGTZE fainted!
GTVA ADM. STEELE defeated WARGODS!
STEELE: I regret that your efforts to defeat me have failed.
WARGODS blacked out!

[Dilmah G]

 

[X3N0-Life-Form]

 

[Snail]

A WILD GEF APPEARED

[Maverick]

A WILD GEF APPEARED

Oh snaps!

[Androgeos Exeunt]

A WILD GEF APPEARED

Oh snaps!

bp2-13: Deals in Shadows

A wild SCIMITAR appeared!
Go! RESHADIYE, LAPORTE, SIMMS, LEATT and RAZALI!
LEATT used SCARY FACE!
Enemy SCIMITAR is unaffected!
RAZALI used HELPING HAND!
RAZALI is ready to assist LEATT!
RESHADIYE used RECOVER!
But it failed!
SIMMS used FORESIGHT!
SIMMS identified SPECTRE!
LAPORTE used RAPIER!
It's super effective!
Enemy SPECTRE used SUBSPACE!
Enemy SPECTRE fled the battle!
Enemy SCIMITAR used WARHAMMER!
Enemy SCIMITAR created a warhammer!
LEATT used CAVALIER!
Critical hit!
RAZALI used MAUL!
SIMMS used FOCUS ENERGY!
SIMMS is getting pumped!
LAPORTE used RAPIER!
Enemy SCIMITAR's warhammer used SELFDESTRUCT!
Critical hit!
Enemy SCIMITAR's warhammer faded!
LEATT used CAVALIER!
Critical hit!
RAZALI used CAVALIER!
Critical hit!
LAPORTE used RAPIER!
SIMMS used RAPIER!
Critical hit!
Enemy SCIMITAR fainted!
LAPORTE gained 203 exp. points!
SIMMS gained 138 exp. points!
RAZALI gained 40 exp. points!
LEATT gained 28 exp. points!

A wild PEGASUS appeared!
Go! RESHADIYE, ERIN, SHUTTLE, LAPORTE, SIMMS, LEATT and RAZALI!
Enemy PEGASUS used MINIMIZE!
Enemy PEGASUS's EVADE rose!
RESHADIYE used RECOVER!
But it failed!
ERIN used LIGHT TURRET!
Enemy PEGASUS evaded attack!
LAPORTE used RAPIER!
Enemy PEGASUS evaded attack!
SIMMS used RAPIER!
SIMMS's attack missed!
LEATT used MAUL!
It's not very effective...
RAZALI used CAVALIER!
RAZALI's attack missed!
Enemy PEGASUS used MAXIM!
Critical hit!
It's super effective!
SHUTTLE fainted!
LAPORTE used RAGE!
SIMMS used RAPIER!
Enemy PEGASUS evaded attack!
LEATT used MAUL!
Enemy PEGASUS evaded attack!
RAZALI used MAUL!
Enemy PEGASUS evaded attack!
RESHADIYE is paralyzed! It can't move!
ERIN used LIGHT TURRET!
ERIN's attack missed!
Enemy PEGASUS used SUBSPACE!
Enemy PEGASUS fled the battle!

[terran_emperor]

 

You, Sir, are a sick, sick man. What were you smoking when you came up with that? and where can I get some?

[Spoon]

GTVA ADM. STEELE wants to fight!

The best part.

[Androgeos Exeunt]

Just for the record, there are a lot more of these, but they can get quite messy if I factor in everything, or in certain missions like Forced Entry...

You, Sir, are a sick, sick man. What were you smoking when you came up with that? and where can I get some?

Thanks. I'm not exactly sure how I ended up linking the two, but I don't think boredom was part of the reason. I probably had a brainwave one day, while beta-testing WiH, and I realised that Calder and Steele's "subspace chess" was a scaled down version of how the UEF-GTVA war is, and chess is turn-based, in the same way that Pokemon battles are turn-based. I ended up trying to look at as many battles in BP as possible like a Pokemon battle for fun. The ones I've posted so far are the ones I've come up with.

[Snail]

[Dark Hunter]

Enemy J.E.HOOVER used DISABLE!
TOUTATIS's APOCALYPSE is disabled!

Okay... I'm sorry, but as an obsessive Pokemon freak:

Disable can only disable the last move used. If one tried to use it before the opponent did anything, it would fail.

Anyway, sorry, nitpicking over. In truth, this is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time.

And Snail's picture is win.

[MatthTheGeek]

Snail : Turn it into an animated gif and you'll earn a cookie.

[Snail]

Snail : Turn it into an animated gif and you'll earn a cookie.

Heh, maybe later.

[-Sara-]

I reckon we need a D&D version too.

[SpardaSon21]

I reckon we need a D&D version too.

Oh god, are dogfights going to use the grapple rules?

[Rodo]

nice idea man, I lol'd a bit

[Galemp]

DM: Okay, so last session, you had just defeated the SD Eva, but we had to break before I could hand out XP. Alpha wing, you each get 400 XP.

Alpha 1: Sweet! I leveled! I get a new feat at this level, right?

Alpha 3: What? How are you so far ahead of us?

Alpha 1: I had that solo session in the Dragon, remember?

Alpha 3: Oh, right...

Alpha 2: Okay, first, LOOT! Then we need a short rest.

DM: Actually, no loot for this session... because before you can rest, you get an urgent message from Command! The Galatea is under attack! What do you do?

Alpha 2: Well, I guess we return to the Galatea then. We have time to rearm, right?

DM: Sure, go ahead.

Alpha 1: Okay, so we're going to jump to the Galatea. What do we see?

DM: The Galatea is damaged and surrounded by a wing of Basilisks, a wing of Manticores, and two wings of Nephilim bombers. When they see you, the Manticores turn and charge! Roll initiative!

Alpha 2: 19.
Alpha 3: Ugh. Only an 8.
Alpha 1: I got a 27!
Alpha 2: Geez, how come you always roll so high...

DM: OK, Alpha 1, you're up first, then the Manticores.

Alpha 1: I hit my burners and dual-fire my Synaptic Bombs! Can I borrow your dice, guys?
Alpha 3: We have Synaptics? I didn't use any last mission.
Alpha 1: There weren't enough to go around, so I gave you Hornets instead. Can I roll for damage?

DM: Sure. That's fifteen hits on four fighters. This one dies, these two are bloodied. Any other actions?

Alpha 1: Hmm, I've already moved and attacked... I'll activate my turret.

DM: Alright, Manticores' turn. Alpha 2, you're up next. Since you're closest, they all go for you, Alpha 1.

Alpha 1: Immediate interrupt, my turret fires at the first one to attack me.

DM: That's this damaged one. Roll your attack.

Alpha 1: OH YEAH! NATURAL 20! Eat my Avenger, Shivan scum!

DM: Wow, that's... enough to kill it. The other ones attack... and miss... and hit. 12 points of damage.

Alpha 1: No problem, it all goes to my shields.

DM: Alright, Alpha 2 is up, then the Basilisks.

Alpha 2: Okay, I'm gonna go for the bombers. Are there any bombs in flight?

DM: There's one over here, on the other side of these Nephilims. Your movement would provoke opportunity attacks from their turrets.

Alpha 2: I'll go for it. I'll use my burners, then Prometheus on the bomb. Does a 16 hit?

DM: Yeah, you shoot down the bomb, good job. Let me roll my turret attacks. Seven hits!

Alpha 2: Wait, SEVEN? Can I do a Knowledge check? How many turrets do Nephilims have? I got a 21.

DM: Nephilim bombers have four turrets each.

Alpha 2: Ouch. Well, there go my shields... next?

DM: Me, then the bombers. Well, the Basilisks are assigned to escort the bombers, so they're going to attack you, Alpha 2.

Alpha 2: Crap.

DM: They're not moving, so they get to use primary and secondary weapons with heavy lasers and swarm missiles. That's a lot of damage, but not enough to kill you, right?

Alpha 2: Uh... well, normally I'd be OK, but we never repaired after the last mission, so I'm toast. Sorry guys.

Alpha 3: Oh man!

DM: Alright, the bombers fire another salvo at the Galatea and recharge their turrets. Alpha 3, you're up, then it's top of the round again.

Alpha 3: Bombers are priority, so I'm going after the nearest Nephilim with my Hornets.

DM: Good hits, but not enough to go through their shields. They're going to regenerate that next turn.

Alpha 3: Ugh. I hate this game. I should have played "Star Wars" with Jim.

Alpha 1: Is it my turn yet? I wanna kill more Shivans!

DM: Lucifer arrives. Everyone dies.

[Spoon]

 

[Androgeos Exeunt]

Okay... I'm sorry, but as an obsessive Pokemon freak:

Disable can only disable the last move used. If one tried to use it before the opponent did anything, it would fail.

In the same way that the UEF was able to send out more than three subjects against a lone PEGASUS.

[SomeGuyWithAName]

DM: Lucifer arrives. Everyone dies.

We need a Freespace (and subsequently Blue Planet) pen & paper tabletop strategy game with roleplaying elements. NAO!

I guess a pokemon Romhack, as funny as the above read was, would be pushing it. (implying that it wasn't just a joke to begin with  )

And Snails pic, I literally lol'd.