[ktistai228]

I heard you guys were working on them. Can I get a copy to play around with? The FSMods ones don't quite work

[WouterSmitssm]

did you  jhust tryed on freespace 1

it is freespace 1 campaign

[Aurora Paradox]

The FSCRP is in need of testers at the moment.  If you're willing to provide some feedback, I can provide you with a download link.  However, only Dark Horizon 1 is ready for testing.

[ktistai228]

count me in Aurora:)

[Aurora Paradox]

count me in Aurora:)

I'll upload Dark Horizon 1 and PM you the download link.  You can post the bug reports here.

[ktistai228]

General Notes:
- the logo is very, very ugly. I'd consider changing that ASAP
- the campaign description could also use a revision, this "An alternate universe that is similar, but different, path from that of the original Freespace takes a " doesn't sound right.
Mission 1
Command briefing 3/3: "The ship's last transmission"->"The ships last transmission"
Briefing 4/7 and 5/7: Please remove the enemy wing names and classes. Unknown will do.
Briefing 6/7: "doesn't go offline on own"->"Doesn't go offline on its own"
After Nova has docked: "this place is a blood bath". I am unsure if a place can be a blood bath. A event may be characterized as a "blood bath", but I don't know about a place. Consider revising.
Message from Hall: "Okay Alpha 1" -> Should change to something more generic, why would he adress Alpha 1?
Hall: "We finished with the data" -> "We have finished with the data"
The directive's are funny. Consider changing them (Smash Shiva, Eliminate Rama, Kill Vishnu)
Change ingame ship names (Nova->GTT Nova, Hall->GTD Hall)
Secondary objective: "Destroy any enemy fighters/bombers"->"Destroy all hostiles"
Hall: "The GTD Hall is up and running despite being beat to hell and covered in blood"-> Consider revising, "beat"->"beaten", and it just sound odd.
Also god do they work fast. They downloaded all the data and repaired a destroyers engines in 3 minutes!!!
That is all I could find on first playthrough through M1. Will continue

[ktistai228]

M2
Command Briefing 1/5: Brand Old Toys ?? suggest changing it
Command Briefing 1/5: "First Terran-Shivan War"->"First Shivan incursion"
Command Briefing 2/5: "working their brains out"->"working hard"
Command Briefing 4/5: "is capable of and right now and"->get rid of one and
Again change the directives (devastate Durga)
Change name: "Thunderbolt"->"GVC(PVC???) Thunderbolt"
Debriefing: "killable dispite"->"defeatable despite"
Also, I was a bit unimpressed by the big scary enemies. Enemy ships seemed to lack organization and motivation. I mean 4 medusas, 4 nephilims and 4 hercs to kill an Aten? And they fail?
The same in M1, the enemies seemed to be there just to be there, the Nova didn't quite come under attack. And there were no bombers there, so loosing the Hall was out of the question. This thing should really really be revised.

[ktistai228]

M3
Briefing 3/8 "We still are"->"We are still"
Change name "Valiant"->"GTSC Valiant"
Valiant: "Thanks for your help Alpha 1"->make it more general, to refer to everybody
Why are the Shivan Freighters standing still?
I have disabled the Shivan freighters, nothing happened.
Debriefing: "so we're not complaining"->doesn't sound that professional, suggest changes.

Also, I don't think the player should be given the option to go either after the freighters or after the Valiant. I would suggest making the player get the Valiant, then giving him the option to pursue the freighters. Also, the mission was pretty simple, nothing quite interesting.

On a similar note, it would be quite motivating for me to get a word from you guys, I'm getting a feeling I'm talking to the walls here.

[ktistai228]

M4
The Command Briefing needs revising, it sounds childish and weird
Briefing 1/4: "the beginnings"->"the formation"
Briefing 1/4: "by the Deneb and Capella"->"between the Deneb and Capella"
Briefing 1/4: "designated as"->"designated"
Briefing 2/4: "prevent any ships from escaping, since they can notify the main fleet"->add something about some jamming or something, because right now I don't get it why? are their communications broke?
Briefing 4/4:Alpha and Beta mentioned. What about Gamma? No word about them?
Change name "Vinshu"->"Vishnu"
It is almost impossible to get those Dragons
I let one of the Dragons go. Nothing happened.
I did not destroy all the cargo containers. Debriefing:"you destroyed all the cargo containers"
Debriefing: "One less cap. Ship"->"One less capital ship"

[Darius]

Mission 1
Command briefing 3/3: "The ship's last transmission"->"The ships last transmission"

I don't know what the context of this is, but "The ship's last transmission" is correct if the transmission belongs to the ship.

Also, some FREDers choose to leave out class designations for ship names (myself being one of them) due to it

a) already being listed in the class name below the ship's name
b) taking up valuable HUD space

[ktistai228]

My bad on the first. On the prefix thing however. I don't know Darius, it sounds weird without it. Especially since in the directives the sufix is used, yet in the ship names it is not.

[ktistai228]

M5
Change directives (Wreck Rama, Eliminate Bheema, Beat up Behema, Kill Vishnu, Smash Arvuna, Pound on Parvati) Really guys....
The mallfunction is a bit weird. 1 minute for the engines to blow and get back to full strength?
Shivan kamikaze... whaT?
Secondary objective: "The GTD Wolverine escapes with more than 30 hull strength". I got it out at 65. Objective failed.
Also, the mission was just... wrong. Extra long, no chatter. The Stephens arriving was funny. "Command said you could use some help". Followed imediatelly by "Help, we are under attack". Also, the Lucy arrives, and both the Wolverine and the Stephens go on with their daily routines. Namely doing nothing and heading straight for the Lucy. The weirdest thing is the Wolverine gets away. The Phantom just decides it doesn't want to shoot at it anymore.. WHAT?

[ktistai228]

M6
Command Briefing: "due to your failure"->I actually choose to stay back. Also, the whole CB sounds wonky
Briefing 4/6->make it more clear that this is a two-stage mission, it's kinda hard to get it
Change directives
Command: "Assist  Zeta"->What Zeta? Maybe Beta
Ships emerge from docking bay rotated to one side
Why do the Escape Pods stop before they jump?
Primary objective: "Protect 70% of the Escape Pods". When the 6th gets out, objective completed. There are 10 escape pods mentioned.

M7
"Shut your mouth Mr. Command person"->hilarious! Change it now!
Saber is really annoying. The chatter is plain weird, and doesn't fit pro pilots.
The two characters, Ryoko and Saber, are introduced out of the blue. Also the whole "parents in high places so you get away" thing in the debriefing sounds all wrong.
Also, the Red Alert text could do with some attention.

[ktistai228]

M8
Command Briefing 1/10: "early estimates"->"current information"
Command Briefing 1/10:  "a squadron or two"->ain't that too little for a destroyer and 5 cruisers?
Command Briefing 6/10: "to capture of the Phantom"->"the capture of the Phantom"
Command Briefing 9/10: "things that make Shivans go boom"->change this title
Command Briefing 9/10: "the Shivans go splat"->change needed
Command Briefing 10/10: "More things to play with"->change this title also
Command Briefing 10/10: "way back when?"->suggest deletion
Change directives
6 sentry guns VS a Lucifer?
"our lasers are inoperable due to too much combat"->a bunch of Vasudans could come with a better excuse than that!
No debriefing for mission

[Macfie]

There are some limitations to what we can do with a campaign.  We are after all editing someone else's work.
You may want to take a look at this article.

http://www.hard-light.net/wiki/index.php/Upgrading_Campaigns

[Aurora Paradox]

There are some limitations to what we can do with a campaign.  We are after all editing someone else's work.
You may want to take a look at this article.

http://www.hard-light.net/wiki/index.php/Upgrading_Campaigns

Changing the text of a campaign is a fine line to walk.  You have to try and preserve the original meaning.  While at the same time ensuring understanding by the player.

[ktistai228]

I do understand Macfie, I'm reading the article now. But the things I highlight really really stick out. Except the minor grammar changes, almost all of the other sound way, way off. Well, anyway, I'm not telling you what to change, I'm telling you what I feel is wrong.

[Macfie]

Please continue with your testing and point out the things that you feel need work.  I'm not criticizing your efforts.  I just wanted to post a reminder that we are stuck with some things put in by the original creator of the campaign.  Also the campaigns contain a history of where we have been that we also want to preserve as we restore the campaigns.

[ktistai228]

M9
Command Briefing 1/2: They derived a bomber from the Medusa 100 years later and they came up with the Ursa?
Command Briefing 2/2: "relatively fusion based"->huh? relatively? how can something be relatively fusion based?
Bombing mission, went fine, very little chater, just 3 directives, it went fine!

[ktistai228]

M10
Command Briefing 1/2: "to keep you sanity"->"to keep your sanity"
Briefings 1/10, 2/10, 4/10, 5/10, 6/10-> Do not show enemy fighter wings names!
Briefing 4/10: "the transport"->"the transports"
Disabling the Lucy takes a hell of a lot of time.
Saber: "The Phantom is disabled. Nice work on those turrets." I disabled it! Not disarmed it!
CommOfficer:"He went to the bathroom and will be back ina  minute. Ya know... When nature calls, you had better answer"<-This made my day.
Capturing the Phatom. Transports arrive. Transports depart. Transports, Y U no dock???
The Black Horizon ships aren't that impressive...

And with that I conclude my playthrough of Black Horizon Episode 1:Phantom Slayer. The campaign is quite okay, storyline is okay, no bugs, but suffers heavily from poorly written dialogue and enemies that seem to be there  just for show.
Should you require me again, I am available.