ok, some feedback:
1. Grammer and spellling. It can be easily fixed, and if you wish, I can go through the final version and do it for ya
2. After the Moloch and the bomber wings are destroyed; there isn't anything to do, and a huge gap of time between the destruction of the last bombers and the arrival of the Sathanas is not good. Maybe put some chatter between all three caps here or reduce the time to the node. Or perhaps make it a tough battle all the way - and just before they jump insert messages of laughter and happiness that they are going to jump out - their going to beat the Shivans! Then cue Sathanas and wtf messages.
3. The bombers aren't very effective. I havent checked in FRED yet, but I dont think these actually have any cyclops on 'em or orders to attack the capital ships. Fighters arrive too far away to actually defend them properly; and they are too few waves of bombers. Try to create more waves; this will solve problem 2, as the battle can be extended all the way if the player had to fight them off longer.
4. speaking of caps, the Julius is WAY too close to the Ionas. Try putting around anywhere from 200 to 500 metres minimum between caps.
5. Although the Corvettes are supposed to survive, you can make them threathened. In my mission I had the trio of corvettes that showed up later (the Flaga, the Ishtar and that other one) show up ahead of time if one of the Corvettes went down, making their survival a priority as well.
6. I barely noticed the cheating with the Aquitaine; except that it was scary when I saw something huge big and ugly jump in front of me (yet totally blocked out by the nebula) and then suddenly disappear to be behind me. Nice effect there
7. More pilot chatter when the Aquitaine comes in and jumps out. Maybe use a lull between the initial bomber attack and the corvettes arrival? Upto you though.