Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => The Classics => Topic started by: Black Wolf on March 24, 2005, 12:05:16 pm
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So today's the last day of classes before easter break, and I'm going home for the weekend tomorrow - got some family obligations to take care of, and I miss my dog. Anyway, I have to go into town and pick some easter stuff up beforehand, and I don't want to drive, so I'm at the bus stop, waiting for the bus.
Now, one thing you've got to understand about Transperth (ie. the bus company around here) is that the timetables - they're kind of more of a general guide than any kind of adhered-to schedule sort of thing. So when the bus was about 5 minutes late, I wasn't too concerned. At least, not at first.
Suddenly, I see a big green bus coming round the corner and through the roundabout up the road - the number on the front is right - it's the bus I'm waiting for. But this thing is taking the roundabout at about 70 kms - that's a damned impressive sight BTW - a full sized bus taking a roundabout that fast - wow.
Anyway, the bus comes screaming up the road and pulls into the bus stop with the screech and well known smell of brakes applied just that little bit too much. Then the door hisses open and I get a look inside.
Now, I take this bus fairly often, but the driver's always changing, but there are a few constants one learns to expect. However, none of those are "Black Cape, Mask, Rubber torso, utility belt". And you also dont tend to see middle aged men in Transperth uniforms lying in a small but slowly growing pool of blood next to the drivers seat. Yep, you guessed it. Batman was driving my bus.
"Tickets please."
Now, I was a little surprised by all this, as you can imagine, so I tried to start up a bit of a dialogue.
"Batman, dude, What the **** man! Did you just beat that guy up? He's ****ing bleeding and ****!"
"He was going to make the bus late! He was waiting for these old women at the last stop - slowest pair of *****es I've seen since Poison Ivy accidentally gave that sloth syrum to her minions instead of the GCPD."
"The bus is still late though."
"Ah yes," he says, with this sort of half smile that could have meant nearly anything. I guess it's hard to be visually emotive with a massive rubber mask covering the top half of your head. "But he would have made it later!"
"Still - I think the response is a bit out of proportion, don't you? I'm pretty sure he needs to go to hospital or something."
At this point, I think he got kind of pissed, because he gets up out of the seat, jumps off the bus and just sort of walks off mumbling about how **** like this never happens in Gotham. So I was kind of stuck, with a driverless bus and no other way to pick up my easter stuff.
****ing Batman.
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....are you serious?
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LOL Now that's screwed, all I got was badmouthed by a couple of teenagers for 'running up behind them' on the crossing when the lights had changed and the traffic hard started moving.
They were an advert for their own intellect, so I chose to ignore them.
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uhm ... you should get a mental exam
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****ing Batman
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****ing Chuck Norris :nervous:
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Right.... no more whipped milk for that man.
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:wtf:
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You are either the most delusional person on the planet or I applaud you for starting a conversation with Batman over the battered and bleeding body of his foe ;)
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Umm... you saw.... and there was... I... uhhh-- What?
HAHAHAHA!
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ROTFLMFAO :lol:
Originally posted by Black Wolf
But this thing is taking the roundabout at about 70 kms - that's a damned impressive sight BTW - a full sized bus taking a roundabout that fast - wow.
If it was taking the roundabout at 70 KMS the bus would tip and the Gs could kill the people on the bus. (I don't know much about the effects of Gs and when they come into effects.)
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you'd think Batman would be more careful with a bus full of people than to whip it around a roundabout at that speed. he's supposed to be protecting people. you know.
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:lol:
Batman in Perth!? Wouldn't it be a bit warm?
Wait Perth is cold ain't it? bah.
Still, are you serious? :wtf:
I'm doubting it due to the dialogue...
Funny Story either way. :p
btw. 70km's an hour would not kill people going around a round-about.
Depending on what type of round-about, it's quite possible to do that without tipping.
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yes, but not smart. buses usually don't handle as well as the batmobile.
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Funny thing is batman is my usual throw word that I use. :p
*timewarp-aftercarl*
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OMFGWTFAOLBBQBATMAN!!!!!11114111
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70Kph is like 40Mph, it's impressive, for a bus on a roundabout, and bloody scary, but not fatal :)
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Was it pre-Crisis Batman, current Batman or DKR Batman, because they're pretty different Batmans and DKR Batman is scary yet so sexy.
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Originally posted by Flipside
70Kph is like 40Mph, it's impressive, for a bus on a roundabout, and bloody scary, but not fatal :)
It said 70KPS[/b]
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...batman sexy? :wtf:
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I'm sure that was a typo.
I bet bloody Black Wolf is just sitting back laughing at his bastard child grow.
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Actually it says Kms, which is short for Kilometers, so I assumed he meant per hour :)
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Originally posted by Grug
...batman sexy? :wtf:
(http://img66.exs.cx/img66/6346/batlol4qh.gif)
AND
(http://img66.exs.cx/img66/2789/darkknightreturns1nu.th.jpg) (http://img66.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img66&image=darkknightreturns1nu.jpg)
i like the first one more because it has pink AND green and they are the colours of Kamakama-chan, the pinkgreen kamakama goddess-chan of pinkgreen :)
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Originally posted by Flipside
Actually it says Kms, which is short for Kilometers, so I assumed he meant per hour :)
I assumed KMS = KM/S
KM/S = Kilometres per Second
Oh and its Kilometres not Kilometres. :p
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OMFG MY EYES! BLIND!!!1111
*has epileptic fit on floor*
"Please--nyaaarggg-don't let me swallow my toun---nnrraaarggh!"
Oh and its Kilometres not Kilometres.
1. You typo'd your correction.
2. No its not. :wtf:
Especially not in Australia.
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And in the UK it tends to be interchangeable, siince we don't tend to use it anyway ;)
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No, it's Kilometres
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Meh, I've seen both used, especially as road signs are changing to include kms :)
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It's both, depending on where your from.
I think the British version is re, in which case Aus is probably too, but I'm not sure on that. bah.
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http://www.metrication.com/
Apparently they are both equally valid in the eyes of the Metric system :D
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Language = English
England = Creator of Language
America = User of England's language
English = England's interpretation of the language.
Therefore
KM = Kilometres according to the creators.
Therefore
Spelling of KM = Kilometres :ha:
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I'd say the odds are in favor of metre, but because of the fact that it was developed by a French scientist.
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:nervous: this is really important to you isn't it? ;)
Oh, and Language = French, they used went Metric in 1790, not 1972 like we did :p
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America = User of England's language
More like America = Uses molested, and mutated version of English Language.
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There's also the fact that English is a bastard tongue, developed from Latin (and other Romance languages) and Germanic languages, with words also taken from Hindi and others.
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bastardized english more like it.
Go Batman!
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And it also depends on whether you believe a Language should follow a Dictionary, or the opposite. ;)
Edit : This post is, in fact, an example of language drift by itself, can anyone guess why? ;)
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Ha!
They all originated from some Barbaric language. If we all spoke in Latin though... christ...
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Imperial influences were immense in forming modern day proper English actually.
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The germans used to be barbarians too though, until after rome.
Speaking of which, I finally conquored Greece as Julii so now I can play as the Greeks.
Yay for Spartans!!!111 :D
Next will be spain, and their Bullwarriors. :D
But no phalanx's with them. :(
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We're all speaking bastardizations of Indo-European, anyway.
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Originally posted by Flipside
And it also depends on whether you believe a Language should follow a Dictionary, or the opposite. ;)
Edit : This post is, in fact, an example of language drift by itself, can anyone guess why? ;)
Because you capitalised Language and Dictionary?
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And it also depends on whether you believe a Language should follow a Dictionary, or the opposite.
Edit : This post is, in fact, an example of language drift by itself, can anyone guess why?
There is no subject in the second clause, and opposite is an adjective? "And it also depends on whether you believe a Language should follow a dictionary, or vice versa." or "or the dictionary should follow the language".
Edit: Did you see where Batman went after you confronted him about his BONER?
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Originally posted by Grug
More like America = Uses molested, and mutated version of English Language.
I call it Anglish. :D
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:p
I still say Black Wolf is sitting back and laughing at as all... :doubt:
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Originally posted by kietotheworld
Because you capitalised Language and Dictionary?
capitalized. Z is the badass rebel brother of goody two-shoes S.
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Also, I started the sentence with the word 'And', which is still, in some areas of teaching/writing, considered bad grammar
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So, was it true?
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What does this have to do with batman?
Anyway, anyone seen Superman lately? Last I heard, he broke up with Lois. He was so heart-broken he tried to drown his sorrow with drugs...but since he is super they have practicly no effect on him, so he had to clean the "crop fields" of drug lords all over the globe..just to get high ONCE!
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Whether it's true or not, it's bloody funny! :lol:
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I went back home for the weekend the other day – did the whole good Friday thing with the folks, then went out to the pub Saturday night. You’d think that they’d just give up on the whole weekend, given the amount of alcohol consumed at a traditional Easter barbie, but my town is full of pisstanks, and my friends are no exception, so the traditional Saturday gathering got shifted over to the Saturday.
Anyway, unsurprisingly, I’m not the only one up for the weekend. In fact, one of my mates from a different uni (studying law – useful friend to have I’m sure) came up, with his girlfriend and a friend of hers, Jen. Apparently, her parents were holidaying or something, but she couldn’t miss class, and kind of found herself with nothing to do for Easter. Pissed Cheyne off a little, but his loss was my gain. She was pretty, though not really what I’d’ve considered to be my type. Still, I figured I might as well try my luck, and things actually seemed to be going pretty well after an hour or so. Anyway, I get up to go to the bar (it’s my round) when suddenly I feel this tap on my shoulder. It’s an older guy – I don’t think I know him, but it’s hard to tell, because half of his face looks like it’s been burned or something – it’s pretty nastily scarred up.
“Excuse me” he says “Have you seen a guy, ‘bout yea tall, black mask, cape, rubber torso?”
“Err… yeah.” I say, trying not to stare at this guy’s disfigured half face. “I think he’s in the back, with the band.”
“Oh, cheers.” And he walks off.
Then, all of a sudden, the rest of my little group sort of scurry up, kind of furtive.
“Dude! Who was that?”
“I dunno. Some guy.”
“What did he want?”
“Looking for someone. ‘bout yea tall, black mask, cape, rubber torso.”
“That guy in the back?”
“Yeah, I assumed so.”
“Oh, righto. Any idea what for?”
“Didn’t say.”
“Oh. Fair enough.”
I think he got kind of curious, coz he was looking back in towards the back room a fair old bit, and then he said “I’m curious.”
“Wanna go check it out?”
“OK.”
So we go through the little hallway and round the corner, and end up in what looks like a scene from some movie. There, in the middle of the room, are the rubber torso guy and the disfigured guy, dancing. Practically dirty dancing. But strangely, there are no homoerotic overtones. At all. It’s like the dirty dancing of death. And then it hits me. The Rubber torso. The mask. I’d seen it all before.
“Batman?”
“Err… kind of busy” he says, pointing to the disfigured guy, but keeping in character by sort of sliding the finger down the other guys chest and spinning away from him.
“What the **** man? I thought you were in the city?”
“Well, I was.” He says, bringing one arm up and looking down the length into the others eyes. “But I heard Two Face here was in town, and was up to no good. I had to do something!”
“Two Face? Doesn’t he have, like, minions?”
“Well, normally, yeah.” He says as he leans backwards, the other dominantly leaning over the dark knight. “But apparently there were some troubles with getting them into the country – criminal records, baggage issues, you know”.
“Err” someone in the crowd pipes up. “That’s not Two Face. That’s my dad. He was injured in a housefire several years ago – the doctors worry that the scars may never heal.”
At this Batman just goes ****ing ****mix, chucks a batarang at the guy in the crowd and starts punching the crap out of this guy’s dad, knocks him to the ground and sticks the boot in half a dozen times. I’m pretty sure I hear at least one rib break.
“Yeah. That’ll teach you.” He says, leaning over the groaning form of the old guy, “I’m not ****ing gay.”
At this point, I suddenly realize that the two girls have followed us back and are standing in the little doorway watching this scene of violence with the same sense of surrealism as the rest of us. As batman brushes past, he kind of strokes Jen’s chin and says “Hey, ever seen a bat roost?”
Now, I thought that was pretty cheesy, but apparently the whole rubber torsoed billionaire thing does it for chicks, because the last time I saw Jen she was getting into the passenger side of the Batmobile.
****ing Batman.
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...
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:lol:
rofl! wtf!?
I don't know where your getting these stories from but they are hilarious. :p
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I... er... wow.
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So the other day, my biol class has to head off to the aquarium. Now, normally that's a pretty fun outing, but, of course, being an 'education' related trip, the buggers had everything predetermined as to where we were meant to go. So, while we should have been going through the shark tank or pulling stuff out of the touch pool to throw at each other, we were sitting on hard benches in front of the "Antarctic Ecology" tank (Which wasn't even particularly interesting, since the seals were off performing or something), listening to some guy go on about global warming.
Anyway, all of a sudden the door slams open and this tall, black shape runs into the room, jumps over the railing into the tank and starts throttling one of the penguins in the enclosure.
"Aha!" He shouted out at the top of his voice, "Now I've got you!"
Once they got over their initial shock, it didn't take everyone long to figure out what was going on. I think it was the rubber torso that gave it away.
Batman was attacking the Antarctic Ecology tank.
"Batman!" I yelled, "What the hell are you doing?"
He turned and looked at me.
"Can't you tell? I've finally captured my arch nemesis - the Penguin!"
"Batman you ****, that's not the Penguin - that's a Penguin."
He looked a bit confused by this, looking at me, then down at the bird then back at me.
"A penguin?"
"Yeah - a fairy penguin."
He smiled, and started to laugh - that wasn;t the reaction I'd been expecting.
"What the hell Batman?"
"Hee hee - fairy penguin."
"What?"
"The Penguin's a Fairy, the Penguin's a Fairy!"
At this point, I was getting a little irriated.
"No, you idiot, a penguin!"
"Maybe he can have little Penguin pride parades"
"Batman, are you even listening to me?"
"Ha ha ha - Hey Penguin - screwed any men lately?"
"For ****'s sake Batman..."
"Oooh waitwaitwait I've got it!" he exclaimed, standing up and throwing both arms wide, flinging the near lifeless penguin onto it's little artificial island as he did so. "Batman vs... the ***quin!"
At that point I just got up, turned around and walked away. He was a lost cause.
****ing Batman.
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:wtf:
I think you've had waaaaaaaaaay too much weed.
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LOL I think they're hilarious :D
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****ing Batman.
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:lol: :wtf:
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umm.... okay.... i think its time for your pills now...
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DKR Batman? explain?
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****ing Batman.
Who is Robin? I'll take Obscure jokes for 300, Alex.
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What the hell was Batman doing in Australia?
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Originally posted by Raa
****ing Batman.
Who is Robin? I'll take Obscure jokes for 300, Alex.
:wakka:
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Originally posted by Black Wolf
So today's the last day of classes before easter break, and I'm going home for the weekend tomorrow - got some family obligations to take care of, and I miss my dog. Anyway, I have to go into town and pick some easter stuff up beforehand, and I don't want to drive, so I'm at the bus stop, waiting for the bus.
Now, one thing you've got to understand about Transperth (ie. the bus company around here) is that the timetables - they're kind of more of a general guide than any kind of adhered-to schedule sort of thing. So when the bus was about 5 minutes late, I wasn't too concerned. At least, not at first.
Suddenly, I see a big green bus coming round the corner and through the roundabout up the road - the number on the front is right - it's the bus I'm waiting for. But this thing is taking the roundabout at about 70 kms - that's a damned impressive sight BTW - a full sized bus taking a roundabout that fast - wow.
Anyway, the bus comes screaming up the road and pulls into the bus stop with the screech and well known smell of brakes applied just that little bit too much. Then the door hisses open and I get a look inside.
Now, I take this bus fairly often, but the driver's always changing, but there are a few constants one learns to expect. However, none of those are "Black Cape, Mask, Rubber torso, utility belt". And you also dont tend to see middle aged men in Transperth uniforms lying in a small but slowly growing pool of blood next to the drivers seat. Yep, you guessed it. Batman was driving my bus.
"Tickets please."
Now, I was a little surprised by all this, as you can imagine, so I tried to start up a bit of a dialogue.
"Batman, dude, What the **** man! Did you just beat that guy up? He's ****ing bleeding and ****!"
"He was going to make the bus late! He was waiting for these old women at the last stop - slowest pair of *****es I've seen since Poison Ivy accidentally gave that sloth syrum to her minions instead of the GCPD."
"The bus is still late though."
"Ah yes," he says, with this sort of half smile that could have meant nearly anything. I guess it's hard to be visually emotive with a massive rubber mask covering the top half of your head. "But he would have made it later!"
"Still - I think the response is a bit out of proportion, don't you? I'm pretty sure he needs to go to hospital or something."
At this point, I think he got kind of pissed, because he gets up out of the seat, jumps off the bus and just sort of walks off mumbling about how **** like this never happens in Gotham. So I was kind of stuck, with a driverless bus and no other way to pick up my easter stuff.
****ing Batman.
In other words, he waits for a bus. The bus suddenly comes up at supersonic speeds, and stops abruptly at the bus stop. Upon entering, a bloody man is on the floor, and Batman is at the wheel. Trash talk language pops up, and reassures the Black Wolf that Batman:
1. Forgot to take his pills
2. Therefore lost his acting job
3. Went to a bus station
4. Got a job
5. Still hasn't taken his pills
In short time, Batman lost temper and exited the bus, leaving Black Wolf on a bus filled with people and no driver, all whilst a bleeding man is on the floor.
****ing Batman.
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Funny stuff :lol:
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He isn't drunk, cause we've seen him type while drunk, and that wasn't legible.
Lots of sugar?
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(Sees title "Ah, must be more Fathers for Justice" but then sees the rest of the stories, language discussion and the other two tales)
Ah the joys of HLP.
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Jingle Bells
Batman smells
Robin layed an egg
Batmobile lost its wheel
And Joker took ballet
Hey!
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I love these...
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So I'm heading off to class the other day - I was a little late as I'd been kept quite busy sleeping in. But I got up in what should have been just enough time, if I walked a bit faster than normal. Anyway, I've gone up, through the carpark and I was walking thropugh this little corridor thing when I see this group of people crowded around an intersection further up.
Being the nosy bugger that I am, and given that my university has, several times in the past, been visited by sausage selling naked women, I decided to have a bit of a sticky beak at what theywere looking at, despite the fact that I was still a little late. So I diverted and looked over some shoulders as I walked past - it wasn't the prettiest siget in the world - a guy, dark skin, bit shorter than me - was laying on the ground, blood coming out of a long, thin gash in his abdomen. I had a bit of a look, but the guy was being looked after and I was still pretty late, so I just kind of took note and kept walking.
I was kind of worried - the guy looked like he'd been stabbed after all, but I figured people wouldn't have been standing around like that if it wasn't safe, so I wasn't super worried. That was, until I saw the next group - and the next group - and the next group. All in all, five people had had stab wounds of various severity - and all on the way to my lecture theatre.
Now, I was getting a little freaked out here, but the kicker didn't hit me until afetr I'd rounded the final corner. There, standing out the front of my lecture theatre, was a man - a tall man, dressed in tighht black rubber and a cape, which seemed like a silly choice - it was a pretty warm morning.
"Batman?"
He turned around and looked at me, but didn't respond. The mask hid his face, but he looked far from happy.
"Batman? What happened?"
Again, no response, but he held up his hand, palm up. One glint of the sun on the metal was all it took.
"You didn't! You weren't..."
"Yes! I admit it! I was... I was... running with scissors!"
"Batman! Why? Didn't your parents ever tell you not to run with scissors?"
"My parents died before they could impart their wisdom to me."
"Oh yeah... point."
"I know that there is nothing I can do to atone for this terrible crime..."
"Actually" I said, "You could turn yourself in to the police - they'll probably be looking for you."
He kept going - Im not sure if he heard me.
"But I swear, I will devote my life to protecting innocents and fighting crime, so that no others must have their lives cut so tragically short!"
"Err... don;t you do that anyway?"
"Well, Kinda I guess."
"You know we do have a pretty decent justice system here - we could put you in gaol or something?"
"Perhaps, but... OH MY GOD! LOOK OVER THERE!"
And then he threw a smoke bomb on the ground. A few seconds later, when the smoke had cleared, he had disappeared. But I'm pretty sure he was just hiding behind a plant.
****ing Batman.
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:lol:where do you get these stories?
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Oh Batman, whatever will you get up to next?
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So I’ve come home from work last night, dog tired, (it was a Friday, and I’ve been working til 3AM Fridays for a few weeks now) and ready to go pretty much straight to bed (I had some toast first). Anyway, I go off to bed and I’m asleep almost as soon as my head hits the pillow. All of a sudden, about half an hour later I hear this massive crash that sits me bolt upright and, I’m not ashamed to admit, more than a little startled. And then, maybe thirty seconds later I hear it again – even louder this time. By this point there’re lights going on outside – obviously everyone else can hear it which discounts the possibility of a dream, when suddenly I hear... laughter.
I stick my head out the door just in time to see what’s causing all the ruckus and what do I see? Superman, resplendent in cape, tights and bright red boots, tossing cars around the car park. And right next to him, laughing his arse off, is Batman, with the Flash leaning hard against him, laughing almost as hard.
“Do it again!” He yells to Superman.
“**** yeah! JLA forever ****ers!”
“We are the Justice League! The mother****ing Justice League. And... we’re gonna kick your... what rhymes with Justice League?” (The Flash can’t sing, for the record).
“I dunno” Says superman, as he casually flings the car across the carpark, eliciting another massive crash. “I dunno. Oy! Where’d Green Lantern and Wonder Woman go?”
I couldn’t see what happened next, but whatever it was elicited a fair bit of laughter from the group. Presumably, there was going to be some new justice leaguers in nine months or so.
Anyway, by this point, I was rather irritated, as you can expect. I was trying to go to sleep, and here was a bunch of superheroes waking everyone up after a night on the town. Not cool.
“Oy! Keep it the **** down!” I yelled out the window.
It was Batman who responded. “What?”
“Shut the **** up. There are people trying to sleep!”
“Well... ****! Ha ha ha ha! Shi... Shi...”
At that point he collapsed and started vomiting, and I knew that I wouldn’t get much more out of him. So I just shut the window, endured a few more crashes, then watched them wander off in search of another pub.
****ing Justice League.
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A one year bump? :wtf:
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The flash.....
he's the cute one in the red tights, yes?
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yeah, the one that can run at superspeed. :D
BW, get of the crack and go outside. :lol:
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Originally posted by Unknown Target
A one year bump? :wtf:
More like 2 months.
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lmao :lol:
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This is a new twist...
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Originally posted by WMCoolmon
More like 2 months.
Could've sworn it said "2004"...:p
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Originally posted by Unknown Target
Could've sworn it said "2004"...:p
Check your timezone setting under "Profile". Are you sure you've selected the right planet? :p
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****ing Black Wolf...
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****ing Jesus....
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****ing hell...
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:lol:
****ing LMAO.
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****ing awesome. :yes:
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I love this...
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****ing monkeys.
...
:nervous: what? I couldn't think of anything.
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God, you guys suck.
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Speaking of Batman, check out the Joker from the next Batman movie:
Tell me that is not awesome.
EDIT: Sorry, this isn't really the Joker. :(
Edited out - Unknown Target. What the hell? Watch where you're getting your images hosted next time man. :p
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ooh. 2008? why?
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[color=66ff00]Where'd the pic come from Ford?
I got all excited when I heard the rumours that Mark Hamill would be the next Joker. :D
[/color]
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A friend of mine just IMed me the link to the image.
Also, I read that there was no truth to the rumor about Mark Hamill being offered the role. Denny's counters must be kept clean.
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That joker kicks ass.
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UPDATE: Sorry, false alarm. That's a photoshopped picture from an old silent film of The Man Who Laughs. :o
It's still cool though.
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This is realy cracked out.
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Originally posted by Ford Prefect
UPDATE: Sorry, false alarm. That's a photoshopped picture from an old silent film of The Man Who Laughs. :o
It's still cool though.
[color=66ff00]Yeah, I figured it would be a tad too early for them to be putting together something that complete.
Well unless they were pulling a George Lucas trick... Live action scenes that take 30 mins to film and then computer generated content that takes 3 years to complete.
[/color]
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II'm glad that's not the Joker. The Joker is not goth. Geez, just because Tim Burton is directing doesn't mean everything about the movie has to be like that.
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Ever wondered why it's called GOTHam?
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Only after I wonder why it's called "Got-ham".
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"got ham?"
*pic of a famous person smiling and holding a ham with ham on their face*
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Originally posted by Carl
II'm glad that's not the Joker. The Joker is not goth. Geez, just because Tim Burton is directing doesn't mean everything about the movie has to be like that.
Tim Burton isn't directing these. Tim Burton directed Batman and Batman Returns.
Burton isn't purely dark; he's dark with a good sense of humor. This new Batman movie, however, took itself quite seriously, and pulled it off very well. Thus, I would not expect to see a Jack Nicholson-type Joker in this new movie, but rather a more nightmarish villain who's more disturbing than funny.
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That photoshop came from the SomethingAwful forums, before they closed it off to lurkers.
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So I went to the theatre the other day. Not the movies, understand, the [theatre. Bit fancy I’ll grant you, but I won tickets in a radio contest (Don’t ask me what station, I’ll not tell you because if word ever gets out, well, bang there goes my rep right there). Anyway, I ended up taking a friend of a friend, Melanie, who knew about the show and wanted to go see it – she’s a drama student at one of the other unis in Perth and had a friend in the play, but I guess he’d used up his free ticket allocation or whatever. Besides, when kyle (the afore mentioned friend who is friends with Melanie) told me about her I figured - Drama student, better than average chance that she’ll be better than average looking. Good guess, incidentally, but that’s not really central to my story.
Anyway, we went to the play and it was more or less what you’d expect. I mean… there’s a reason these things were replaced by movies right? But, well, Melanie seemed to be enjoying it, so I just sort of sat there and tried to get interested. Anyway, we were halfway through the second act when, and I**** you not here, the main supporting beam fell out right above the stage and the roof caved in. Christ, I’d never seen anything like it – there were people trapped under the rubble, dust everywhere, nobody had any idea what was going on… when suddenly, everyone just hears this oice “Yes sirt, I would very much like to try your scones!”
Now, granted, that probably reads pretty weird, and it was weird at the time, but as it turned out that was the next line in the play. And the guy who’d spoken it was striding up onto the ruined stage, spouting off the next line as he went “Oh, wonderful! I shall go and get the cream right away! Would you like some tea?” And just like that, boom, everyone was enthralled or something. I dunno, it was the weirdest thing – one minute everyone’s screaming and calling the ambos and running around, and the next… everyone’s back in their seats watching what used to be a full play converted into this weird one man show.
And that was kind of when I noticed it. The guy on stage…Black cape… utility belt… Rubber torso.
Batman
“Batman! What the ****!” I yelled “There are people trapped under that ****ing rubble! What the hell are you doing!” But he ignored me. Actually, almost everyone did, except for this guy in front of me, who shushed me. People were dying under tonnes of rubble on stage and I got shushed. I tried a few more times, but in the end I just had to give up and let the show run on. Forty minutes later, final curtain call (though it lacked most of the traditional impact as the curtain had come down with most of the roof) and finally the firies and ambos were let on stage to help the people out.
Final cost was three dead, twelve serious injuries and a whole lot of bruises and scratches in the front rows. The official explanation? Earthquake. Now, I’ll admit I wasn’t the guy holding the seismometer at the time, but I’m a fourth year Geology student, and I’m fairly sure earthquakes are a lot less localized than that. And, while I’m not sure I’ve got enough evidence to accuse a super hero of a triple homicide, I will say it’s mightily suspicious that he understudy for the entire cast just happened to have access to all sorts of dangerous weapons and explosives, and the training required to make something like that look like an accident.
****ing Batman.
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:lol: :lol:
Oh God, where did this come from?
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****ing :necro:
Batman kills people? :(
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Batman kills people? :(
No, he just lets people die. There's a difference, y'know.
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Black Wolf, have you ever considered writting an autobiography?
You could name it, you know, "****ing Batman".
Just a thought.
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And here I thought Superman (http://www.superdickery.com/) was the dick.
Also, lol necrothreadaged meme and all that.
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well this was quite a bump indeed
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****ing Batman rides again.
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Mother****ing Batman.
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(http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/4421/goddamncc9.jpg)
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God bless Frank Miller.
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:bump:
I've just read these for the first time today and i ahve to say, Blackwolf you are a bonafide genius.
You should charge £££ for these.
[oliver twist] More please [/oliver twist]
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yes, but not smart. buses usually don't handle as well as the batmobile.
CARL!!! you are alive!!!
EDIT: I just saw the post date... It whould seem he is dead after all... :(
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According to his profile, his last active date was May 2007. But his last post was like July 06. He is alive. Just not posting.