KERBAL MISSION UPDATE
One of our engineers insisted that our station had a lot of dead weight which was robbing some of its delta-v potential. Since sending up a team of Kerbonauts to remove unneeded bits and bring them home would make a lot of sense, we instead shoved the whole multi-billion dollar structure into Kerbin's atmosphere and built a new one from scratch. Not content to only reduce the dry mass, we also added bunch of extra engines and fuel.
The result: Delta-v budget from LKO jumped from 7.2 to over 10.7 km/s. Our top scientist characterized this improvement as "totally sweet I guess."
After a careful selection process, we have crewed the new station with our best and brightest:
Maclo, pilot and all-around badass. Selected for surviving the catastrophic explosive disintegration of a rocket in an earlier mission.
Feremy, commander. His actions saved the command capsule from destruction during the aforementioned event.
and Bartemy, mission specialist. He discovered the cause of that mission's failure -- Maclo's enthusiasm for !!MAXIMUM THRUST!! while still low in the atmosphere had lead to forces in excess of the rocket's structural limits.
Here we see our brave crew docked with the ass end of the station. Hope you're comfortable, guys, 'cause you're gonna be there for a while.
Maclo turns on the engines and is immediately disappointed by the lack of WHOOSH. Instead a soft hum fills the air as the engines glow with a strange blue aura. The station accelerates imperceptibly. The crew seem to be confused by this technology, which is okay because quite frankly nobody in mission control understands how it works either.
Whelp, so long, boys. You're not going to be going anywhere fast, but you'll go somewhere for sure.
:SEVERAL MONTHS LATER:
Holy **** guys, we're at another planet. Wat do?
These engines are super efficient, but mission control still likes to save delta-v. (Money and lives on the other hand are immaterial.) So we shall aerobrake. Bartemy, being the thinker, decides he should retract the solar panels first.
Down we go, and the sun sets beyond a strange purple horizon. Hopefully, this will not be the last sunset they ever see.
****, the purple is getting inside. Maclo succumbs to it immediately and starts laughing hysterically. Feremy gets a contact high. Bartemy dares to be drug-free and looks the other way.
Hot plasma envelops the ship. Bartemy and Feremy become nervous. Maclo is too busy having a
Stanley Kubrick 2001 visual experience.
Good thing we put the command module in the back...
Aerobrake complete and orbit achieved! Their next stop: Gilly, so that Mission Control may finally find out what the hell a Gilly is.
This is your Kerbal mission coverage team, signing off.