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LordPomposity:
Okay, I’ll be completely honest: I never understood the hype surrounding these campaigns. I’ve held my tongue so as to avoid causing unnecessary drama, but now you say you want criticism, so here goes.

We start JAD1 aboard the GTD Sasquatch, a Hecate-class destroyer with a nameless captain. Nameless superiors are par for the course among B-list campaigns, so I’ll let that slide, but the name “Sasquatch” really clashes with the established naming convention. There’s some mind-numbing repetitive gameplay involving shooting Shivans, and then Command decides to send you through the Knossos—at which point you start talking. Yeah, FS1 and FS2 worked just fine with a silent protagonist. This? Not so much.

We jump through the Knossos and are confronted with…ourselves. That’s right, the Alpha 1 from another universe! This has some interesting storyline potential. Only instead of using Alpha 1#alternate or even the Alphaÿ1 trick, Axem…tries to put “Alpha 1” in 1337 and hope we won’t notice. Lazy FREDing at its finest. Then “4lph4 1” dies. Seriously. That’s it.

Quantities of supercapitals reminiscent of SGWP2 slag each other with beams for a while, then a new Colossus jumps in and immediately collides with a Sathanas, destroying both. Command makes some off-the-cuff comment about how at least this one destroyed the sathanas.

Axem…THIRTY THOUSAND PEOPLE JUST DIED. That is NOT how command would react.

Eventually (my memory is rusty here) we meet “Fred” who is some kind of god or something. He uses the Bosch headani. Crappy attempt at reproducing Q from Star Trek as far as I can tell. Some disco music that completely ruins what’s left of FreeSpace’s atmosphere plays on a loop. We blow up Fred’s asteroid, and then in a later mission we’re supposed to dogfight him. However, we’re given an unmodifiable loadout that makes what you’re forced into in “A Game of TAG” look like the GTF Mara with dual Kaysers and two banks of Trebs. This is where I stopped playing.

JAD 2 and 3 were pretty much the same campaign as JAD1 with a couple unimpressive gimmicks thrown in. At a couple points, Axem tries to ape Darius’s success with Corey and Taylor by giving our wingmen distinct personalities. One is a zombie who looks suspiciously like a Vasudan. The others were the so-called “n00b squadron”. Each had exactly one defining characteristic. To say that these guys were flat would be an insult to paper. Also, the JAD2 campaign file was broken: one of the missions pointed back to an earlier one, creating an infinite loop that made the campaign impossible to complete. Obviously no beta-testing at all. There are points where these campaigns are so bad that I almost wonder if I’m playing a parody.

We get a few years of blessed reprieve from this drivel, then someone called “QueenHolley” shows up and posts a couple thoroughly uninspiring missions about an NTF saboteur stealing a Ravana. I guess Axem falls in love, because the protagonist of his next feeble attempt is named “Holley”.

Okay, this is creepy as hell. Axem, this isn’t going to get her to have sex with you.

I’ve kept playing each new JAD campaign out of morbid curiosity, but I’m afraid I lack the intestinal fortitude to try Vassago’s Dirge. I will, however, finish by reviewing one more campaign that demonstrates Axem’s abject failure as a FREDer.

That campaign is Blue Planet: War in Heaven.  “But,” I hear you protesting, “WiH is the best campaign ever made for FS2!” Well, I won’t argue that point, although it is my personal opinion that WiH will never stack up to the 12 years of expectations built up around BWO.

But I digress. The point I’m trying to make here is that the overall very high quality of FREDing in WiH makes it transparently obvious which parts Axem smeared his feces on. Specifically, the end, where after you destroy the GTD Carthage (I had to ~k it because the Karuna lag made the mission unplayable, but that’s not really Axem’s fault) A SATHANAS JUMPS IN.  Completely out of nowhere, there is a SHIVAN JUGGERNAUT JUMPING AROUND SOL, named “Mr. Cuddles” and with horrendously jarring theme music. This is a plot twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan. I ~k that, too, because the player is not given access to weapons with the supercap flag despite needing to single-handedly destroy a Sathanas to complete the mission. I jump out, get my debriefing, and discover that nobody seems to give a **** that THE SHIVANS ARE APPARENTLY IN SOL NOW. Yeah, it’s pretty obvious which part of WiH Axem was responsible for.






Also, Shadows of Kraken was ****.

Rodo:
I hated the fact that you used the HLP squad only a limited amount of times.
I hate you in a personal way for killing them in this last release.

General Battuta:

--- Quote from: LordPomposity on October 18, 2011, 10:34:54 pm ---But I digress. The point I’m trying to make here is that the overall very high quality of FREDing in WiH makes it transparently obvious which parts Axem smeared his feces on. Specifically, the end, where after you destroy the GTD Carthage (I had to ~k it because the Karuna lag made the mission unplayable, but that’s not really Axem’s fault) A SATHANAS JUMPS IN.  Completely out of nowhere, there is a SHIVAN JUGGERNAUT JUMPING AROUND SOL, named “Mr. Cuddles” and with horrendously jarring theme music. This is a plot twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan. I ~k that, too, because the player is not given access to weapons with the supercap flag despite needing to single-handedly destroy a Sathanas to complete the mission. I jump out, get my debriefing, and discover that nobody seems to give a **** that THE SHIVANS ARE APPARENTLY IN SOL NOW. Yeah, it’s pretty obvious which part of WiH Axem was responsible for.


--- End quote ---

actually!

Veers:
JAD = FAIL

(or was that WINNING).

The obscure ideas are unnatural and worthy of ... I CANT DOO THHIIIIISS!! Sorry :(
(The obscure ideas are obscure. And unnatural)

Mongoose:

--- Quote from: Shivan Hunter on October 18, 2011, 08:03:13 pm ---1. Scrap the retarded FRED jokes. In fact, remove all of the FRED references altogether - it's ****ing gay. Also I recommend you stop liking FRED period, you'll be a much better person for it and if you're lucky all the cool kids will stop picking on you.

2. Drop the retarded jokes. If you are having trouble telling which jokes in your campaigns are retarded, here is a handy guide: All of them.

3. Stop blatantly ripping off Freespace 3: The Search for Bosch. You disgrace its good name.

4. Add Gargants. 'Nuff said.

There, I hope you found this useful. If you follow all of my advice, I'm sure JAD 5 will be an overwhelming success!

~Darthwang penis

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