You have played too much Freespace 2 when…[you're going to like this...(or not)]
- You have all the FS2 music and the soundtracks you recorded from the cut scenes on a CD.
- You can recite the whole "Thirty-two years have passed since the Great War..." intro speech.
- You hum FS2 music in the shower and other places.
- You like beam sounds, and daydream about how the people around you make that "vaporised" sound when you fire your BFRed.
- You get younger children to be the Orion in the opening cut scene, including how it rotates.
- You have an FS2 ship as your desktop background.
- You have customised you computer's sound and visual themes so they are like the FS2 interface.
- You get quotes like "that's not good enough, Command, we're not properly armed out here" stuck in your head, and use them for certain responses to people.
- You have downloaded the WinAMP Freespace 2 skin.
- You have downloaded over 1.00GB of FS2_Open data.
- You use underscores instead of spaces for all file/folder names on your computer.
- You have made an FS2 ship out of lego.
- You get excited whenever you see the name of an FS2 ship, whatever context it is in.
- You have made Freespace 2 taunt packs for other games.
- You have made a contribution to the “FS2 MS Paint – The Moments” thread.
- You have pictures of FS2 ships/scenes, and have used them for the cover of your subject folders at school.
- You have created a work of art based on the Shivan Juggernaught Sathanas that has been put on display in your school because the art teacher was absolutely amazed by it. (This is actually true of me, pity I don’t have a picture of it, Excalibur)
- You can recite at least 100 members’ names from HLP of the top of your head.
- You know you have more than 5000 posts in HLP, even though half of them you made in the “General Discussion” board.
- You know all of the HLP emoticons’ and Welcome beams’, etc. text codes off by heart.
- You have more than ten Freespace 2 related websites in your favourites list.
- You have been logged into HLP for more than thirty days total.
- You can defeat a human opponent flying a Pegasus with your Boanerges.
- You have more than 90% accuracy for primary and secondary hits.
- You have more than 100 primary and secondary friendly hits.
- You have played Freespace 2: Colossus more than five times even though you have the full campaign.
- You use Harpoons as dumbfire projectiles because you like too hang around Shivan backsides.
- You don’t see why Cyclops and Helios bombs need a lock to fire.
- You use the Circe only in dogfights and keep your opponent at 0% shields for minutes before ramming them to oblivion.
- You have every single award/medal, all obtained without cheating.
- You often do some spring cleaning with an Erinyes fully loaded with BFReds.
- You have a computer able to run 100 fps with all FS2_Open features on at the highest detail and running a mission with 100 HTL ships all firing with over 100 planets, suns and backgrounds.
- You have an animated GIF of the FS2 intro cut scene as your desktop background.
- You walk like a Vasudan.
- You despise the fact that MS Word puts a red line under FS2 ship, species and weapon names.
- You often say “you are a disgrace to your species, Terran” to people you don’t like.
- You know some toilets that have FS2 quotes on the walls, but don’t know how they got there.
- You have a room that looks like Bosch’s command room in the cut scenes.
- There is a shallow basin worn into your desk or mouse pad due to taking evasive action.
- There is a deep basin worn into your desk or mouse pad due to taking evasive action.
- Your Tab button mysteriously doesn’t work anymore.
- A red dot never appears in the topmost leftmost area of your squadmate/wingman status box.
- You have discovered that FS2_DB_01 is played when you become traitor in a FRED2 mission with no briefing or debriefing.
- A contribution has been made by you as to how you are annoyed by certain things, like the red flash or shaking effect.
- You are never annoyed by the above, because the red flash never happens and you can aim true with any amount of shaking.
- You can do a whole mission without targeting your enemies.
- You watch your enemies suffer at your hand, from their point of view.
- Your hostile sensors appear to be scrambled sometimes, but never lock onto any hostiles because you like how the ` + K key combination creates distant explosions.
- The Colossus in the mission with the GTCv Monitor warps in with sections exploding, and travels twenty kilometres away before the big bang.
- Plenty a Knossos device has fallen victim to the ` + Shift + I and BFRed combination.
- You have found a ship called URA MORON 01 in FRED2.
- You mysteriously are able to survive an attack by 100 Erinyes armed with UD8 – Kaysers.
- You go for a ride in the fighter bay of large ships when they warp out and survive.
- WTF-ification has occurred when you discovered that nine triangular prisms were bearing down on Capella in “In to the Lion’s Den”.
- You have created a mission where you order 100 Boanerges armed with Helios’ to attack a Sathanas only to see a chain reaction occur because the AI is good at intercepting friendly bombs with the hull of their ships.
- You are surrounded by a barrage of friendly missiles and lasers in the Rahu gas miner mission, but you don’t fire a shot.
- Unknown 01 never warps out in that mission due to hull failure.
- You wonder why ships you are supposed to escort always jump in 10 000m away from a jump node, when they are accurate enough to emerge at exactly that point from 250 million kilometres away.
- You have spent more than one hour on your list of “You have played too much FS2 when…” list.
- There are more than fifty points on your list.
- You (someone else) have actually checked the above statement to make sure it’s true.
- You desperately search for someone in person outside your family who has even the slightest knowledge of what Freespace 2 actually is, because no one seems to like space games around your area besides Star Wars.
- Freespace 2 ships always win against Imperial ships.
- You laugh at how Imperial ships have to have a visual view of the battle, otherwise they can’t continue.
- The Death Star was really destroyed by the Colossus, which is the perfect weapon, due to the spike on its front and its slim profile at the front.
- You ask people missing an arm “do you need to re-arm?”
- You have written a story where a hand held UD8 – Kayser existed and the Freespace 2 ships emerged from subspace over Earth in the year 2005 because they had discovered time travel.
- When you feel hungry you say “missile banks depleted, calling in support”
- When the traffic lights turn green it’s “DIVE DIVE DIVE, HIT YOUR BURNERS, PILOT(s)!” or “Alpha One, engage rebel fighters, break to attack, GO GO GO!”
- You have more points in your “You have played too much FS2 when…” list than all the others combined.
- You know the Colossus is capable of BFReds because it had them in the Colossus cut scene.
- You have worked out that the Leviathan class cruiser is the most similar ship to humans because its top speed is as slow as the fastest human on Earth as of 14/08/2008.
- You have worked out that a cheetah can run faster than the Colossus can “fly”.
- You have the blueprints for the Colossus or the Sathanas.
- You can operate a ship with Vasudan controls.
- You have the DNA for a Vasudan like creature.
- You own a baby Shivan.
- Whenever you have a school swimming carnival, you always say “all right that was a little too close, we got fifteen minutes to change our shorts…”
- You can do Command impersonations, including the way he dips his shoulders forwards and then pulls it back when making a speech.
- You reckon Command is hot.
- Admiral Aken H. Bosch is your God.
- You think there was a grammatical error made by Volition when Command said “Godspeed, pilots.” (God, speed pilots.)
- The events that happen from 2357 are pre-defined.
- Your USB drive is called Triton.
- Your portable hard drive is called Argo.
- Your remote control looks like a Hades or Lucifer.
- You have a physical model of something from FS2.
- You sometimes type FS@ because you type the “FS” part so fast you don’t have time to let go of the “Shift” button before pressing “2”.
- You have configured your mouse so that the pointer moves down when you move the mouse away from you.
- Your mouse looks like a Lucifer or Hatchepsut.
- You have a Colossus water pistol.
- You have made at least five ships for FS2_Open.
- You visit HLP every time you have access to the internet.
- You watch what happens in the death screen when you die if there are ships in view.
- You never watch what happens in the death screen because you never see it.
- You have three pages worth of “You have played too much FS2 when…”.
EDIT:
- You recorded all the FS2 tracks manually before you discovered VPview.
- You have every available piece of data that is even remotely related to FS2 on your hard drive and you have it quadruple backed (up).
- You hang around after the “return to base” order to see if anything interesting happens, and if it does, you watch it until it completely finishes.
- You are able to finish off the ninety-nine wings of Nahema bombers in “Argonautica”.
- You are able to kill the SF Dragons in “Mistery of the Trinity” until they don’t re-spawn anymore.
- You have lost the Argo in “Argonautica” but still finished the mission because the Aquitaine mysteriously is able to repair its engines without the transport.
- You complain when your car engine isn’t fixed within sixty seconds.
- The Colossus has played a game of baseball with you, and you won.
- You have made a MS Word office assistant that is a Vasudan.
- The Vasudan has fishes swimming around it and often looks at its HEADZ.
- You have made a MS Word office assistant that is a Shivan.
- The Shivan attempts to terminate your work, then turns on you when it doesn’t succeed.
- You have scripted an event so that the Shivan can destroy documents, then put it up for download.
- You enjoyed what you just read.
