Author Topic: "Jesus to return by 2050"  (Read 11041 times)

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Offline Kosh

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"Jesus to return by 2050"
According to 40% of americans, amoung other things.


Quote
Americans  are largely optimistic about the future, according to the poll from the Pew Research Center For The People and The Press/Smithsonian Magazine.

By mid century, 71 per cent believe cancer will be cured, 66 per cent say artificial limbs will work better than real ones and 81 per cent believe computers will be able to converse like humans.

But Americans are also braced for a major energy crisis and a warming planet, according to the survey. More than half, or 58 per cent, fear another world war in the next 40 years and 53 per cent expect a terrorist attack against the United States using a nuclear weapon.

The poll also shows a sharp dip in overall optimism from 1999, when 81 per cent said they were optimistic about life for themselves and their families. The current poll found just 64 per cent were.

Sixty-one percent said they were optimistic about the future of the United States, compared to 70 percent in 1999. And 56 percent predicted the US economy would be stronger in 40 years, compared to 64 percent of those polled in 1999.
"The reason for this is that the original Fortran got so convoluted and extensive (10's of millions of lines of code) that no-one can actually figure out how it works, there's a massive project going on to decode the original Fortran and write a more modern system, but until then, the UK communication network is actually relying heavily on 35 year old Fortran that nobody understands." - Flipside

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Offline Nuke

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
i might have my warhead finished in about 40 years. i like that.

as for hey-sus, il have my sniper rifle ready.
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Offline Liberator

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
Which would promptly explode in your face when you pulled the trigger.
So as through a glass, and darkly
The age long strife I see
Where I fought in many guises,
Many names, but always me.

There are only 10 types of people in the world , those that understand binary and those that don't.

 

Offline General Battuta

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
Which would promptly explode in your face when you pulled the trigger.

Why? Jesus would just turn the other cheek, man.

He's not about hurting people.

 

Offline Dilmah G

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
I think he was assuming Nuke's sniper rifle was home-made. :P

 

Offline Goober5000

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
Why? Jesus would just turn the other cheek, man.

He's not about hurting people.
The character of the second coming will be significantly different from the first.

 

Offline NGTM-1R

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
The character of the second coming will be significantly different from the first.

So we're going Old Testament evil death spewing bastard again? Dammit, he was supposed to have outgrown that crap.
"Load sabot. Target Zaku, direct front!"

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Offline General Battuta

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
Why? Jesus would just turn the other cheek, man.

He's not about hurting people.
The character of the second coming will be significantly different from the first.

No, man, I really don't think the Dude is into hurting people.

The Dude just abides, you know?

 

Offline Liberator

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
Why? Jesus would just turn the other cheek, man.

He's not about hurting people.
The character of the second coming will be significantly different from the first.
What he means is that when the Second Coming happens, if you are not with Him you are with The Enemy and will be treated as such.  He will come as an avenger and all that serve The Enemy will be...dealt with.
So as through a glass, and darkly
The age long strife I see
Where I fought in many guises,
Many names, but always me.

There are only 10 types of people in the world , those that understand binary and those that don't.

 

Offline NGTM-1R

  • I reject your reality and substitute my own
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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
What he means is that when the Second Coming happens, if you are not with Him you are with The Enemy and will be treated as such.  He will come as an avenger and all that serve The Enemy will be...dealt with.

Which brings us straight back to "God is evil" territory since, you know, he finally got around to absolutely proving himself and now he's going to kill you for it.
"Load sabot. Target Zaku, direct front!"

A Feddie Story

 

Offline Liberator

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
Except that outside of the engagement area he's the embodiment of Love and all that stuff.  At The End, His sole purpose will be the elimination of sin and it's promoters.
So as through a glass, and darkly
The age long strife I see
Where I fought in many guises,
Many names, but always me.

There are only 10 types of people in the world , those that understand binary and those that don't.

 

Offline NGTM-1R

  • I reject your reality and substitute my own
  • 213
  • Syndral Active. 0410.
Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
Except that outside of the engagement area he's the embodiment of Love and all that stuff.  At The End, His sole purpose will be the elimination of sin and it's promoters.

Which doesn't work, because it means the embodiment of love has gone totally bat**** insane and decided to kill them all.

Which sounds really stupid.
"Load sabot. Target Zaku, direct front!"

A Feddie Story

 

Offline headdie

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
Except that outside of the engagement area he's the embodiment of Love and all that stuff.  At The End, His sole purpose will be the elimination of sin and it's promoters.

Which doesn't work, because it means the embodiment of love has gone totally bat**** insane and decided to kill them all.

Which sounds really stupid.

which sums up religion in my eyes so I guess in 2050 I'm gonna burn
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Offline Dilmah G

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
Something tells me we're going to be blowing each other up in 2050, and the presence of God blowing stuff up isn't going to help.

 

Offline Flipside

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
American Christianity is, in certain areas, fast becoming a Doomsday Cult, and we know how those usually turn out.

Edit: it's like to 2012ers, who think Christ will return at the restart of the Mayan Calender...

"God called, he sounded angry. Said something about the First Commandment...."

 

Offline Colonol Dekker

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
Why? Jesus would just turn the other cheek, man.

He's not about hurting people.
The character of the second coming will be significantly different from the first.
What he means is that when the Second Coming happens, if you are not with Him you are with The Enemy and will be treated as such.  He will come as an avenger and all that serve The Enemy will be...dealt with.



What if i'm a simple non-believer :D
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Offline watsisname

Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
Then nothing happens and you can enjoy yourself a beer.

'tis what I do anyway. :3
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Offline Black Wolf

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
Exactly. There's no such thing as an atheist so convinced that God doesn;t exist that Jesus walking around force-lightning-ing people to death wouldn't convince them. After all, all we've ever asked for is proof, and a beardy halo bloke standing on a pile of thousands of charred corpses would pretty much do the job I reckon.
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Offline Colonol Dekker

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
That'd do it for me, would all the sins i commited as a non believer of either side come into effect?
I'd be against it on principle as the threat of a potiential bbq would do nought to sway me however.
Campaigns I've added my distinctiveness to-
- Blue Planet: Battle Captains
-Battle of Neptune
-Between the Ashes 2
-Blue planet: Age of Aquarius
-FOTG?
-Inferno R1
-Ribos: The aftermath / -Retreat from Deneb
-Sol: A History
-TBP EACW teaser
-Earth Brakiri war
-TBP Fortune Hunters (I think?)
-TBP Relic
-Trancsend (Possibly?)
-Uncharted Territory
-Vassagos Dirge
-War Machine
(Others lost to the mists of time and no discernible audit trail)

Your friendly Orestes tactical controller.

Secret bomb God.
That one time I got permabanned and got to read who was being bitxhy about me :p....
GO GO DEKKER RANGERSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
President of the Scooby Doo Model Appreciation Society
The only good Zod is a dead Zod
NEWGROUNDS COMEDY GOLD, UPDATED DAILY
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Offline newman

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Re: "Jesus to return by 2050"
Meh. Good and evil, morality, sin, those are all human concepts. The idea of a supreme being, or his kid, coming down to punish us for all the bad stuff we did is so obsolete it makes my brain hurt. Humanity really should have outgrown such childlish concepts a long time ago.
I'm having a beer.
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