Hey I made a really ****ty impromptu video with my bad mic to show you how ****ING BADASS this game is so
Hey you dumb nerds. My name's GENERAL BATTUTA. I am here to make a video for you about WARGAME AIR LAND BATTLE. *mic clips sexily*
Look at this ****LOAD OF PACT TANKS coming to **** ME UP. I'm playing West Germany. Best Germany. I'm with my friend. He's British.
And in the game.
All right, we have to stop all these tanks from taking our command zone. I'm on the trial version of FRAPs so it's gonna cut every 30 seconds. This is what the game looks like from my omnipotent commander's eye view. Look at all that smoke. That's the Soviets. They're trying to confuse my elite tank crews.
We're bombing them. Look at all these bombs. That's our air power.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guG9cVs3ms4 But - it's not enough. There's just too many T-72s. How are we gonna stop them?
I'm probably gonna zoom in in a second here. Get to see the, uh, the tank's eye view as my Germans try to hold the line. Look at this ****. Look at all those ****ing tanks. We have the best tanks in the world - but they have the MOST!
And at this point in the game I'm just freaking the **** out. This zone I'm defending is the key. If we lose it, we lose everything. We lose our dignity. We lose our women. It's gonna be awful.
The Soviet tanks are just rolling in. They're coming in to these woods. These woods are gonna burn. There's smoke everywhere, there's fire, people are screaming. Look at this! The suffering! The humanity! All right, cut.
This, uh, this is one of my helicopter gunships. It got killed by a Tunguska. Helicopter gunships are supposed to take out large numbers of enemy tanks, but unfortunately for me our Communist adversary was just a little too clever. Now as you can see, most of these woods have burnt down and THERE - there is the KEY! Right there, where I just zoomed in, that's a T72 command vehicle. We have to kill it at all costs.
Now my British friend is gonna roll in some M1 Abrams. He's gonna try to help me out with his tanks. (That's where my tanks are hiding.) Here's his tanks. Oh, ****, what's that? An anti-tank missile? Boom! He's ****ed. That's the problem with expensive tanks...it only takes one good hit.
Okay, what are we gonna do about this. Look at this. It's a great game. You zoom in, it's beautiful. You zoom out, you have total control. You can see everything! Mortars dropping all over these guys. We gotta get through their front line and kill their command tank so we can get the zone back. It's a Hotel and they've checked in...but they won't check out.
So you see I've dropped a flare to indicate we've just got to kill that ****ing command tank. It's guarded by some Soviet infantry but I'm gonna kill it at any cost. How am I gonna do it? Well, I'm gonna get the best tank in the world, the Leopard 2A4, piloted by specimens of superior German perfection. I'm just gonna ****ing roll it up - there it is, there he goes! Is he gonna make it? He's not, this story has a sad ending, like Blue PlaAAHHHHH nope never mind he did it!
It's beautiful. Totally beautiful. He just got shot in the face but German armor is invincible. Why don't you just reverse out of there, bud? See, it's invincible, I told you.