Hard Light Productions Forums

Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: shadow_orion14 on October 24, 2005, 04:46:07 pm

Title: hello
Post by: shadow_orion14 on October 24, 2005, 04:46:07 pm: Um... obviously new... so hi!
Title: hello
Post by: Flipside on October 24, 2005, 04:48:24 pm: :welcome:

Welcome aboard :)
Title: hello
Post by: aldo_14 on October 24, 2005, 05:01:07 pm: bonjour
Title: hello
Post by: achtung on October 24, 2005, 05:01:12 pm: Someone do the explanation about the flamethrowers, carl, and the hyperintelligent shade of blue.
Title: hello
Post by: StratComm on October 24, 2005, 05:24:11 pm: I haven't seen anyone do that in a while actually, and I haven't done it in long enough that I'm having trouble remembering how it goes exactly. It is, however, a tradition of these boards that we ignore at our peril, so here goes.

Gunnery Control, target shadow_orion14. Open fire!
:welcome:
Welcome to the the HLP BB. Exits are to the sides and rear. Don't plan on using them though, someone let the hosted projects put all their stuff in there so they're all but inaccessable. In the event of an emergency, flamethrowers are stowed under your seat but since we've been out of napalm since late '01 you'll have to use it as a kudgel. There are pulse rifles and assorted heavy weapons in the lockers up front; these can be opened only by admins, :v:, God, or a hyperintelligent shade of the color blue. These weapons are reserved for the Apocalypse, bad April Fools jokes, and the release of FS3, in that order, so don't get your hopes up about using them. In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a floatation device, and you'll find a week's supply of Bosch Beer hidden inside. There's a 95% probability that the beer isn't actually beer, and no one is really sure why you'd need a floatation device in deep space, but hopefully these will provide some small comfort.

Feel free to get aquainted with the place while you're here, and do be careful when exploring the ventilation systems. If you encounter a large 5-limbed creature, don't panic. Just set down your lunch and back away very slowly. If you're lucky it will just be Carl, our resident shivan, who responds quite well to bribes of food. If it's not Carl, and it's in a good mood, at least your death should be quick and painless. If you're particularly unlucky though you might get dragged into a religion or politics thread, in which case may God have mercy on your soul. Stay clear of trouble, and you'll be fine.

Enjoy your stay!
Title: hello
Post by: Nuclear1 on October 24, 2005, 05:24:30 pm: Heya there, shadow. Welcome to HLPBB! Exits are to rear and left in case of emergency, with shotguns located under the seats. We do have flamethrowers and pulse rifles, though they are locked away in lockers only unlocked by an Admin, :v:, God, or a hyperintelligent shade of the color blue, in the event of an an0n takeover or Derek Smart's buying of the FS3 rights. Flamefests and knife fights are prohibited in favor of more interesting 20mm mortar duels and machete jello wrestling.

Please don't crawl around the air ducts, but if you do and you see a multi-limbed spider-shaped creature, chances are that you've stumbled on Carl, our resident Shivan. If it is Carl, simply give your lunch (or money to buy said lunch) and he will back down. If not Carl, pray for a quick death.
Title: hello
Post by: Corsair on October 24, 2005, 05:30:46 pm: Welcome to HLP!

Exits are to your right and left, and flamethrowers are under your seat. Be careful, though, as they are sometimes filled with water. If this is the case, try to club someone with the non-working shotguns in the weapon closet. Also, be careful while wandering the ventilation shafts, because sometimes Carl the Shivan lurks in there. If you happen to come across him, just toss him your lunch and hope that it satisfies him. If it doesn’t… pray. In the event of an emergency, you can and will be used as a flotation device. The plasma rifles in the forward locker are released only under authorization of an Admin, [V] God, and/or hyperintelligent shade of the color blue. Finally, don't call Kalfireth Thunder. He doesn't like to be reminded of his former schizophrenic personalities.
Title: hello
Post by: Flipside on October 24, 2005, 05:31:41 pm: I think he gets the message.
Title: hello
Post by: StratComm on October 24, 2005, 05:36:30 pm: I think we all wrote those at the same time :nervous: What's hilarious is how different each one is.
Title: hello
Post by: Nuclear1 on October 24, 2005, 05:41:10 pm: *checks the times*

*notices Stratt and nuclear posted at 6:24*

*stops referring to self in 3rd person*
Title: hello
Post by: Corsair on October 24, 2005, 07:01:27 pm: Yeah... the welcome message has sort of taken on a life of it's own... mutating randomly... sorta proving Darwinism, I guess. :D
Title: hello
Post by: Getter Robo G on October 24, 2005, 07:21:43 pm: That does it, I'm copying and pasting Stratcomm's latest entry onto my desktop. With a minor addition by myself :P
Title: hello
Post by: Night Hammer on October 24, 2005, 07:22:39 pm: welcome to HLP, we dont bite, keep your hand away from Raa's mouth though :p
Title: hello
Post by: StratComm on October 24, 2005, 07:37:51 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Getter Robo G
That does it, I'm copying and pasting Stratcomm's latest entry onto my desktop. With a minor addition by myself :P

Bah, that's cheating :p

I make up a new variant each time I do it. That's the beauty of the welcome speech, it's different each time it's posted.
Title: hello
Post by: Martinus on October 24, 2005, 07:42:04 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Corsair
Yeah... the welcome message has sort of taken on a life of it's own... mutating randomly... sorta proving Darwinism, I guess. :D

[color=66ff00]Does that make me some kind of deity? I created that particular brand of welcome.

*feels all proud and parent-like*
[/color]
Title: hello
Post by: Mongoose on October 24, 2005, 08:36:40 pm: An anthropologist would probably have a field day studying the development of the Welcome Speech. :p
Title: hello
Post by: Ulala on October 24, 2005, 08:55:08 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Corsair
Yeah... the welcome message has sort of taken on a life of it's own... mutating randomly... sorta proving Darwinism, I guess. :D

You mean the game "telephone".
Title: hello
Post by: WeatherOp on October 24, 2005, 09:30:32 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Night Hammer
welcome to HLP, we dont bite, keep your hand away from Raa's mouth though :p

Lier, we do bite, but it depends on if we are provoked, but some my bite anyways.:p Some may bite harder than others.
Title: hello
Post by: Taristin on October 24, 2005, 09:33:03 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Night Hammer
welcome to HLP, we dont bite, keep your hand away from Raa's mouth though :p

Hand... foot... any other body part that you don't want to end up in my mouth... :nervous:
Title: hello
Post by: WeatherOp on October 24, 2005, 09:41:55 pm: Here is my welcome.:D

*Warning* You have now passed into the area known as HLP, warning traveling here is dangerous, so travel at your own risk and tread litely.Warning do not feed the animals,as they have mutated by the agent *Freespace2. They will bite, and infect you with this virus, in effect making you like them.

They may seam sweet by looks, but react very harshly to the words FS3, and those words are never to be spoken, unless your hapless body be shreaded in a moments notice.

You may carry a flamethrower, however it cannot have fuel. The creatures feed of the flames and can do harm to themselves and the area arond them.

Their nature is to eat, sleep and dream about the unkown word SCP,the meaning of this word is not yet known, but they are allways slowly working on it, while getting wrapped up more in it by every second.

Also of note, some have shown intelligence, however they are the most dangerous, as they are unstable.

As you tread thru this land, watch your back and be safe, unless you be turned and join this ever growing force of creatures as they try to take over the gaming world.....
Title: hello
Post by: Unknown Target on October 24, 2005, 10:11:23 pm: Boo!

*eats newbie* :D

Welcome to HLP!
Title: hello
Post by: pyro-manic on October 25, 2005, 07:55:59 am: P'nawn da! Have fun. :)