The way the cockpits were done in the video is by adding the "show ship" flag to the ship tables. This requires that the ship in question have a modeled cockpit, and the cockpit itself will only be ornamental. The displays won't work, and the standard HUD will still be used. If you're ok with that, you can edit bp-shp.tbm with notepad and add "show ship" to the flags section of every ship on which you want a cockpit.
Be advised the eyepoints may not line up perfectly, and while Steve-O's new ship models (the Uhlan, Kentauroi, Uriel, and Durga) have excellent cockpits, the same isn't necessarily true for others. Some don't have modeled cockpits at all. None of them will look as good as those in Diaspora.
As for Diaspora-style gliding, it's not commonplace. Some ships have it, like the Ainsarii and a few Shivan ships, but most don't. Glide is a bit overpowered if you don't build your gameplay around it, which we didn't.
Most of us play with a mouse (or keyboard-only). I've never tried getting a 360 controller working with FSO. You might try asking in the FSO technical support subforum.