Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Razor on November 18, 2002, 06:13:35 am
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Post your favorite jokes. It can be a picture, a text, anything.
Here I found one:
American in Mexico
There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, ''Can I rent a donkey?'
The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses. This is the only ass I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop."
The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog. The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners."
Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says "Will you hold my wiener whille I scratch my ass?"
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Oh, the hilarity, haha, haha, haha, [ Dies ]
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(http://secondaryfusion.net/~psylent/sa_pics/lebowski.jpg)
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You know what are really great? Jokes with punchlines you don't see coming a mile away.:p
Uh, most of my faves are of the "you had to be there" variety, or at least the "you have to have a good bit of advance knowledge about everyone and everything involved" sort. I think the last short, simple joke I ever found particularly funny was the roo-roo one, and that was years ago. Plus, I got told it by somebody who embellished quite well.
That pic's pretty damn funny, though.
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Once upon a time (1/t) pretty little Polly Nomial was strolling across a field of vectors when she came to the boundary of a singularly large matrix. Now Polly was convergent, and her mother had made it an absolute condition that she must never enter such an array without her brackets on. Polly, however, who had changed her variables that morning and was feeling particularly badly behaved, ignored this condition on the basis that it was insufficient and made her way in amongst the complex elements.
Rows and columns closed in on her from all sides. Tangents approached her surface. She became tensor and tensor. Quite suddenly two branches of a hyperbola touched her at a single point. She oscillated violently, lost all sense of directrix, and went completely divergent. She tripped over a square root that was protruding from the erf and plunged headlong down a steep gradient. When she rounded off once more, she found herself inverted, apparently alone, in a non-Euclidean space.
She was being watched, however. That smooth operator, Curly Pi, was lurking inner product. As his eyes devoured her curvilinear coordinates, a singular expression crossed his face. He wondered, "Was she still convergent?" He decided to integrate properly at once.
Hearing a common fraction behind her, Polly rotated and saw Curly Pi approaching with his power series extrapolated. She could see at once by his degenerate conic and dissipative that he was bent on no good.
"Arcsinh," she gasped.
"Ho, ho," he said, "What a symmetric little asymptote you have. I can see your angles have lots of secs."
"Oh sir," she protested, "Keep away from me. I haven't got my brackets on."
"Calm yourself, my dear," said our suave operator, "your fears are purely imaginary."
"I, I," she thought, "perhaps he's not normal but homologous."
"What order are you?" the brute demanded.
"Seventeen," replied Polly.
Curly leered. "I suppose you've never been operated on."
"Of course not," Polly replied quite properly, "I'm absolutely convergent."
"Come, come," said Curly, "let's go to a decimal place I know and I'll take you to the limit."
"Never," gasped Polly.
"Abscissa," he swore, using the vilest oath he knew. His patience was gone. Coshing her over the coefficient with a log until she was powerless, Curly removed her discontinuities. He stared at her significant places, and began smoothing out her points of inflection. Poor Polly. The algorithmic method was now her only hope. She felt his digits tending to her asymptotic limit. Her convergence would soon be gone forever.
There was no mercy, for Curly was a Heaviside operator. Curly's radius squared itself; Polly's loci quivered. He integrated by parts. He integrated by partial fractions. After he cofactored, he performed Runge-Kutta on her. The complex beast even went all the way around and did a contour integration. What an indignity - to be multiply connected on her first integration. Curly went on operating until he completely satisfied her hypothesis, then he exponentiated and became completely orthogonal.
When Polly got home that night, her mother noticed that she was no longer piecewise continuous, but had been truncated in several places. But it was too late to differentiate now. As the months went by, Polly's denominator increased monotonically. Finally she went to l'Hôpital and generated a small but pathological function which left surds all over the place and drove Polly to deviation.
The moral of our sad story is this: If you want to keep your expressions convergent, never allow them a single degree of freedom.
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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a Mexican, a horse, a duck and a snail walk into a bar.
The barman says 'Wait a minute, is this some kind of a joke?'
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Originally posted by aldo_14
An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a Mexican, a horse, a duck and a snail walk into a bar.
The barman says 'Wait a minute, is this some kind of a joke?'
Ok, for some reason, that was very funny
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Originally posted by Top Gun
Once upon a time (1/t) pretty little Polly Nomial was strolling across a field of vectors when she came to the boundary of a singularly large matrix. Now Polly was convergent, and her mother had made it an absolute condition that she must never enter such an array without her brackets on. Polly, however, who had changed her variables that morning and was feeling particularly badly behaved, ignored this condition on the basis that it was insufficient and made her way in amongst the complex elements.
Rows and columns closed in on her from all sides. Tangents approached her surface. She became tensor and tensor. Quite suddenly two branches of a hyperbola touched her at a single point. She oscillated violently, lost all sense of directrix, and went completely divergent. She tripped over a square root that was protruding from the erf and plunged headlong down a steep gradient. When she rounded off once more, she found herself inverted, apparently alone, in a non-Euclidean space.
She was being watched, however. That smooth operator, Curly Pi, was lurking inner product. As his eyes devoured her curvilinear coordinates, a singular expression crossed his face. He wondered, "Was she still convergent?" He decided to integrate properly at once.
Hearing a common fraction behind her, Polly rotated and saw Curly Pi approaching with his power series extrapolated. She could see at once by his degenerate conic and dissipative that he was bent on no good.
"Arcsinh," she gasped.
"Ho, ho," he said, "What a symmetric little asymptote you have. I can see your angles have lots of secs."
"Oh sir," she protested, "Keep away from me. I haven't got my brackets on."
"Calm yourself, my dear," said our suave operator, "your fears are purely imaginary."
"I, I," she thought, "perhaps he's not normal but homologous."
"What order are you?" the brute demanded.
"Seventeen," replied Polly.
Curly leered. "I suppose you've never been operated on."
"Of course not," Polly replied quite properly, "I'm absolutely convergent."
"Come, come," said Curly, "let's go to a decimal place I know and I'll take you to the limit."
"Never," gasped Polly.
"Abscissa," he swore, using the vilest oath he knew. His patience was gone. Coshing her over the coefficient with a log until she was powerless, Curly removed her discontinuities. He stared at her significant places, and began smoothing out her points of inflection. Poor Polly. The algorithmic method was now her only hope. She felt his digits tending to her asymptotic limit. Her convergence would soon be gone forever.
There was no mercy, for Curly was a Heaviside operator. Curly's radius squared itself; Polly's loci quivered. He integrated by parts. He integrated by partial fractions. After he cofactored, he performed Runge-Kutta on her. The complex beast even went all the way around and did a contour integration. What an indignity - to be multiply connected on her first integration. Curly went on operating until he completely satisfied her hypothesis, then he exponentiated and became completely orthogonal.
When Polly got home that night, her mother noticed that she was no longer piecewise continuous, but had been truncated in several places. But it was too late to differentiate now. As the months went by, Polly's denominator increased monotonically. Finally she went to l'Hôpital and generated a small but pathological function which left surds all over the place and drove Polly to deviation.
The moral of our sad story is this: If you want to keep your expressions convergent, never allow them a single degree of freedom.
(http://secondaryfusion.net/~psylent/sa_pics/SLASHDOT.jpg)
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Originally posted by aldo_14
An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a Mexican, a horse, a duck and a snail walk into a bar.
The barman says 'Wait a minute, is this some kind of a joke?'
How can a snail walk?:D
Ok, here's one:
This priest is sitting in his confessions box, and really has to take a piss, but he worries that he won't be there if someone comes in to discuss something really bad. A woman walks in. The priest
thanks God for the reprieve, and goes and gets the janitor.
"Tom," he sais, "I really need some help".
"Sure, what do you need?" the janitor replies.
"You see that woman over there? I really have to take a piss, and I can't talk to her right now. I need you to fill in for me. Don't worry, though, she hasn't commited a sin in 30 years."
"Well, I don't know" the janitor says hesitantly.
"Trust me, just tell her that Our Lord God blesses and forgives her."
"Ok, if you say so."
So the janitor goes into the box, and in steps the woman.
"Priest," she says, "I know I've been coming here for years just to bug you, but I really think I have commited a sin. Just yesterday, I gave three men a blowjob."
The janitor thinks, oh, ****!, but he manages to stutter out:
"Hold on one minute."
He runs off and gets the alter boy.
"Alter boy, alter boy! What does the priest give for blowjobs?!"
"Oh..." the alter boy replies, "as of this week, 3 candy bars and a soda."
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Two Japanese business men and a Canadian are sitting in a sauna. The Canadian looks up when he hears a cell phone ringing. He looks around for the source of the sound but cant find it. One of the Japanese men begins talking into his wrist. The man finishes talking and explains to the Canadian "I have a cell phone implanted in my wrist." This amazes the Canadian....
He then hears another beeping... the Canadian looks around for the source and sees the other Japanese looking at a small LCD panel in his arm... The Japanese explains "I had a pager implanted in my arm." This is too much for the Canadian. He gets up and goes to the bathroom. He comes back a few minutes later with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his ass. The Japanese politely points this out to him. The Canadian looks down and says "Oh! I'm getting a fax!"
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Good one! Hey go to www.jokes.com and see what you can find.
Here's one:
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives?
Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
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I'm a dirty stinking retard with a foul sense of humor. Laugh at me.
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Now that was a sick joke vadar. :mad: You may really insult someone with it. I recommend you to edit your post. It's better you, than the ahem.... you know who.
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Me.
Me who?
... I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.
(http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2002/20021118l.gif)
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Here's something for the mathematically minded amongst us.
*Wonders what CP's reaction will be :p*
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Originally posted by vadar_1
I'm a dirty stinking retard with a foul sense of humor. Laugh at me.
Well, I didn't laugh, but it was funnier than 90% of the stuff here. Just so long as you keep away from the dead baby jokes.;)
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Originally posted by aldo_14
An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a Mexican, a horse, a duck and a snail walk into a bar.
The barman says 'Wait a minute, is this some kind of a joke?'
ya know, my expression changed from a :blah: to a :wtf: then to a :lol: when i read that....
:D
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Originally posted by Razor
Now that was a sick joke vadar. :mad: You may really insult someone with it. I recommend you to edit your post. It's better you, than the ahem.... you know who.
(http://secondaryfusion.net/~psylent/sa_pics/smileyface.jpg)
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I've "taken care" of things :)
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You missed a quote, if you were looking for it :nervous:
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Originally posted by Thunder
I've "taken care" of things :)
Uhm...really? :nervous:
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Have now, Thanks Blue :)
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Originally posted by 01010
IMMAGE REMOVED
That's....disturbing.
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Originally posted by 01010
(Image removed)
That's a happy little kitten...
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Originally posted by Gortef
That's a happy little kitten...
The happiest and it's going to kill all of you.
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Oh blimey, not another cat that's been exposed to spoons... oh, the felinity...
Anyways, a joke...
A man was playing a round of golf on a rainy saturday afternoon. He wasn't doing very well, and he'd started to get quite depressed. Suddenly, just as he was about to give up and go and get a drink, he heard a voice. He followed the sound and found a little frog sitting under a bush. The frog looked right at him and said "Ribbit... six iron". The man was a little put out by this, and stared at the frog to see if it would speak again. Sure enough, the frog said "rrrribbit... six iron".
The man thought to himself 'I might as well. My game isn't going to get any worse'. He got out his six iron and gave the ball his best shot. To his complete astonsihment, the ball landed smack in the middle of the green, right next to the pin. Not quite believeing what had happened, the man ran over and quickly putted the ball the remaining few inches. Happy as Larry with his superb shot, he scribbled down his score for the hole on his card, and sprinted back to the bush where the frog had been sitting.
The frog was still there, and the man went to pick it up. Rather then try to run, the frog jumped right into the man's hands, and he carried the little amphibian over to the next hole. He set the frog down next to his clubs, and waited to see if it would help him again. Sure enough, the frog looked down the fairway, looked back at the man and said "croak... ribbit... three wood".
Eagerly, the man whipped out his three wood and belted the ball as hard as he could. As if guided by some divine power, the ball landed perfectly in the middle of the fairway. He ran after it, and the frog told him "putting wedge... ribbit, ribbit...". The man landed the ball right on the green, and nearly had heart attack when the ball rolled right in to the hole!
After the best back nine the chap had ever played, he picked up his clubs and the frog, and headed for the ninteenth. After perching on a bar stool, the man is about to order a pint and a chicken sandwich before the frog, sitting in the man's kit bag, pipes up and says "croak... cheese sandwich". Not one to pass up a good thing, the man duly changes his order to a cheese sandwich.
The next morning, the man recieved a phone call from the golf club, asking if had eaten a chicken sandwich the day before. Apparently, a suspect batch of chicken had given several members food poisoning! The man assured the club that he was alright, and sat back, amazed at his good fortune. He looked down at the little green frog, which was sitting in a shallow tray of water on the table, and said "what shall we do now?". The frog looked thoughtful for a moment (which is quite an acheivement for a frog, let me tell you), and then said "ribbit... Vegas... ribbit"
The man smacked his forhead and thought 'of course!'. He stuffed his clothes in to a bag and booked the first available flight to Las Vegas. Upon arrival, he dumped his belongings in his hotel room and made straight for the tables. The frog didn't let him down once. "Ribbit... ninteen red". Up came ninteen red. "croak... fouteen black". Up came fourteen black. The man was doing so well at roulette that the casino asked him to move on, they were so worried that he would clean them out. The man didn't mind, he had already won stacks of money on the frog's advice. He moved on to another, bigger casino, and won every game of blackjack and craps he played. With the frog calling the numbers to him, the man felt on top of the world.
After many hours of non-stop gambling, the man was exhausted, and he stopped off at a bar on the way back to his hotel. He put the little frog on the bar top and said to it "you've helped me so much, how can I ever repay you?". The frog sat quitely for a few moments, before saying "croak... ribbit... jacuzzi".
The man thought 'right! There's a jacuzzi in my hotel room, I'll head back right away!' He picked up the frog, went outside, and hailed a cab, telling the driver to put his foot down. Once he was at the hotel, the fellow ran up to his room with the frog in his coat pocket. He sat the frog in his jacuzzi, and jumped in himself. The frog seemed quite content in the jacuzzi, and the man felt glas that he was able to do something nice for the frog that has helped him beyond his wildest imagination.
After a while, the frog looked at the man an croaked. The man said "yes? Do you want to do something else, now?". The frog paused briefly, before saying "ribbit... rrribbit... kiss me... ribbit". Now, the chap was a little suprised by this, but he was not about to refuse his helpful froggy friend anything. He duly picked up the frog and kissed the creature on its nose. Just as he did so, there was a bang, a flash of light, and a puff smoke. The frog had disappeared and now, sitting beside him in the jacuzzi, the man saw a naked young woman.
And that, officer, is how the fifteen-year-old girl came to be in my room... (highlight for punchline)
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Originally posted by diamondgeezer
Oh blimey, not another cat that's been exposed to spoons... oh, the felinity...
Anyways, a joke...
A man was playing a round of golf on a rainy saturday afternoon. He wasn't doing very well, and he'd started to get quite depressed. Suddenly, just as he was about to give up and go and get a drink, he heard a voice. He followed the sound and found a little frog sitting under a bush. The frog looked right at him and said "Ribbit... six iron". The man was a little put out by this, and stared at the frog to see if it would speak again. Sure enough, the frog said "rrrribbit... six iron".
The man thought to himself 'I might as well. My game isn't going to get any worse'. He got out his six iron and gave the ball his best shot. To his complete astonsihment, the ball landed smack in the middle of the green, right next to the pin. Not quite believeing what had happened, the man ran over and quickly putted the ball the remaining few inches. Happy as Larry with his superb shot, he scribbled down his score for the hole on his card, and sprinted back to the bush where the frog had been sitting.
The frog was still there, and the man went to pick it up. Rather then try to run, the frog jumped right into the man's hands, and he carried the little amphibian over to the next hole. He set the frog down next to his clubs, and waited to see if it would help him again. Sure enough, the frog looked down the fairway, looked back at the man and said "croak... ribbit... three wood".
Eagerly, the man whipped out his three wood and belted the ball as hard as he could. As if guided by some divine power, the ball landed perfectly in the middle of the fairway. He ran after it, and the frog told him "putting wedge... ribbit, ribbit...". The man landed the ball right on the green, and nearly had heart attack when the ball rolled right in to the hole!
After the best back nine the chap had ever played, he picked up his clubs and the frog, and headed for the ninteenth. After perching on a bar stool, the man is about to order a pint and a chicken sandwich before the frog, sitting in the man's kit bag, pipes up and says "croak... cheese sandwich". Not one to pass up a good thing, the man duly changes his order to a cheese sandwich.
The next morning, the man recieved a phone call from the golf club, asking if had eaten a chicken sandwich the day before. Apparently, a suspect batch of chicken had given several members food poisoning! The man assured the club that he was alright, and sat back, amazed at his good fortune. He looked down at the little green frog, which was sitting in a shallow tray of water on the table, and said "what shall we do now?". The frog looked thoughtful for a moment (which is quite an acheivement for a frog, let me tell you), and then said "ribbit... Vegas... ribbit"
The man smacked his forhead and thought 'of course!'. He stuffed his clothes in to a bag and booked the first available flight to Las Vegas. Upon arrival, he dumped his belongings in his hotel room and made straight for the tables. The frog didn't let him down once. "Ribbit... ninteen red". Up came ninteen red. "croak... fouteen black". Up came fourteen black. The man was doing so well at roulette that the casino asked him to move on, they were so worried that he would clean them out. The man didn't mind, he had already won stacks of money on the frog's advice. He moved on to another, bigger casino, and won every game of blackjack and craps he played. With the frog calling the numbers to him, the man felt on top of the world.
After many hours of non-stop gambling, the man was exhausted, and he stopped off at a bar on the way back to his hotel. He put the little frog on the bar top and said to it "you've helped me so much, how can I ever repay you?". The frog sat quitely for a few moments, before saying "croak... ribbit... jacuzzi".
The man thought 'right! There's a jacuzzi in my hotel room, I'll head back right away!' He picked up the frog, went outside, and hailed a cab, telling the driver to put his foot down. Once he was at the hotel, the fellow ran up to his room with the frog in his coat pocket. He sat the frog in his jacuzzi, and jumped in himself. The frog seemed quite content in the jacuzzi, and the man felt glas that he was able to do something nice for the frog that has helped him beyond his wildest imagination.
After a while, the frog looked at the man an croaked. The man said "yes? Do you want to do something else, now?". The frog paused briefly, before saying "ribbit... rrribbit... kiss me... ribbit". Now, the chap was a little suprised by this, but he was not about to refuse his helpful froggy friend anything. He duly picked up the frog and kissed the creature on its nose. Just as he did so, there was a bang, a flash of light, and a puff smoke. The frog had disappeared and now, sitting beside him in the jacuzzi, the man saw a naked young woman.
And that, officer, is how the fifteen-year-old girl came to be in my room... (highlight for punchline)
(http://secondaryfusion.net/~psylent/sa_pics/youregoingtojail.jpg)
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Here’s a very old joke – mid ‘60s, I think – that probably isn’t all that funny and was soon forgotten. But the punchline lives on:
A man is invited to a formal dress fundraiser for an old mansion that’s being turned into a museum. When he gets there, he can see that the contractors aren’t quite finished but that the ballroom is beautiful – marble pillars, golden chandeliers, original artwork, the works. Even the ceiling fans are made of rare woods and polished silver. The women are wearing satin gowns and jewels; the men, white tie and tails. There is a huge buffet, piled high with rare and wonderful foods and a 20-piece orchestra playing classical music. As the evening progresses, the man drinks too much and eats too much. His stomach starts to complain. He leaves the ballroom and looks for a men’s room. He searches the entire first floor of the mansion but can’t find one. He stomach pains are getting worse and worse. He climbs the marble stairway to the second floor holding his stomach. He staggers down a long corridor and finally finds a door marked ‘Gentlemen’. He enters the room but discovers that the toilets haven’t yet been installed. Instead, there’s simply a hole in the floor. Desperate, he squats over the hole and unloads a tremendous load of diarrhea. Feeling much better, he retraces his route, goes back down the long hallway, back down the marble stairway, and re-enters the ballroom. The ballroom is empty except for a butler with a mop. He calls to the butler, “Where is everybody?” The butler shouts back (ta da!) “And where were YOU when the **** hit the fan?”
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UnsUcCeSFuL!
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Originally posted by diamondgeezer
And that, officer, is how the fifteen-year-old girl came to be in my room... (highlight for punchline)
And opera doesn't allow highlighting.
Thank god for Quote.
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My turn
There are two drunk strangers siting at a bar at the two of a 20 story(sp?) building when the first one says: 'The wind is so strong up here, if you were to jump out of the window, it would blow you back in 10 floors down.'
The other man looks disbelieving at him and says: 'Don't be daft'
The first man says 'I'll show you' and leaps out of the window and to the second mans surprise is blown back into the building 10 floors down.
'I'll have to try this' says the second man, leeps out of the window and falls to his death.
The first man staggers back up to the bar and the barman says to him:
'You can be a right bugger when your drunk Superman.'
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New joke...
I am drinking milk...
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
Damn... that didn't sound good :(
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Originally posted by Reaper
New joke...
I am drinking milk...
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
Damn... that didn't sound good :(
are you shure you are ok?:p
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Well, I haven't got the time to read through the entire thread, but here is a site with a bunch of math-related jokes: http://www.math.utah.edu/~cherk/mathjokes.html
Here are a couple of the better ones: :D
Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules.
Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
The difference between an introvert and extrovert mathematicians is: An introvert mathematician looks at his shoes while talking to you. An extrovert mathematician looks at your shoes.
Biologists think they are biochemists,
Biochemists think they are Physical Chemists,
Physical Chemists think they are Physicists,
Physicists think they are Gods,
God thinks he is a Mathematician.
A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes they reappeared together with a third person.
- They have multiplied, said the biologist.
- Oh no, an error in measurement, the physicist sighed.
- If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again, the mathematician concluded.
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.
"Aha," says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black."
"Hmm," says the physicist, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black."
"No," says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black."
Dean, to the physics department. "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."
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Originally posted by Ashrak
are you shure you are ok?:p
I'm sure...
That...
I'm NOT ok
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Originally posted by Stunaep
And opera doesn't allow highlighting.
Thank god for Quote.
Hit the author/user mode toggle button. It should be to the left of the address field. I'm sure you can figure out what it does ^_^
Hint... Stylesheets
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Originally posted by CP5670
Well, I haven't got the time to read through the entire thread, but here is a site with a bunch of math-related jokes: http://www.math.utah.edu/~cherk/mathjokes.html
Here are a couple of the better ones: :D
Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules.
Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
The difference between an introvert and extrovert mathematicians is: An introvert mathematician looks at his shoes while talking to you. An extrovert mathematician looks at your shoes.
Biologists think they are biochemists,
Biochemists think they are Physical Chemists,
Physical Chemists think they are Physicists,
Physicists think they are Gods,
God thinks he is a Mathematician.
A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes they reappeared together with a third person.
- They have multiplied, said the biologist.
- Oh no, an error in measurement, the physicist sighed.
- If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again, the mathematician concluded.
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.
"Aha," says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black."
"Hmm," says the physicist, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black."
"No," says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black."
Dean, to the physics department. "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."
(http://secondaryfusion.net/~psylent/sa_pics/nolife.jpg)
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Originally posted by Ashrak
are you shure you are ok?:p
It may not be his fault. Hm. Perhaps it's space-crack.
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A plumber, a mechanic and a computer eingineer are travelling down a motorway in a car, wehn the car starts to make odd noises. They decide it's best to pull over and take a look.
The plumber gets his toolkit, and goes to look at the engine. He taps a few components with his wrench, but can't see the problem.
The mechanic gets out, examines the engine and gives it a smack with a large spanner. Still no joy.
The computer engineer switches off the engine and gets out of the car, waits for fifteen seconds, gets back in and turns the ignition...
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Originally posted by 01010
(http://secondaryfusion.net/~psylent/sa_pics/nolife.jpg)
Bah math sucsk! Right now we are learning Integration using the core law and Integration with variables. Bah it stinks. I would rather do some renders if I wouldn't have that math test next week. :mad2: :snipe: :headz:
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Razor, why do you always seem so angry with the world?
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maybe the world is always angry at him...
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Originally posted by Reaper
New joke...
I am drinking milk...
Damn... that didn't sound good :(
:wtf:
:wtf:
:wtf:
oh... i get it... :D
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
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Hey CP! Ask me if I've heard the one about the statitician! Quick!
And that milk joke was funny on so many levels... odd but very funny
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(http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2002/20021120l.gif)
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The philosophy of Immanuel Kant isn't really hard, it's just phenomenally hard! :lol:
*waits to see if anyone gets it...*
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Keep waiting...
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Originally posted by diamondgeezer
Keep waiting...
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Originally posted by Stryke 9
Well, I didn't laugh, but it was funnier than 90% of the stuff here. Just so long as you keep away from the dead baby jokes.;)
So, what's worse than ten babies in a bin?
One baby in ten bins...
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Hey CP! Ask me if I've heard the one about the statitician! Quick!
uh, I don't think I have heard that myself, but anyway, have you heard the joke about the statistician? :D
The philosophy of Immanuel Kant isn't really hard, it's just phenomenally hard! :lol:
*waits to see if anyone gets it...*
lol, I actually got the joke there... :p :D
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Originally posted by CP5670
...have you heard the joke about the statistician?
Probably...
:lol:
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Originally posted by diamondgeezer
Razor, why do you always seem so angry with the world?
Well actually I am not angry at the world but it's just that I am upset because we have this hard stuff to do in math and since the things are the way they are... well I suppose you get the point.
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Originally posted by CP5670
lol, I actually got the joke there... :p :D
I figured if anyone did it might be you...