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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Sesquipedalian on December 24, 2002, 07:02:44 pm

Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sesquipedalian on December 24, 2002, 07:02:44 pm
http://www.noradsanta.org/
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Levyathan on December 24, 2002, 09:05:37 pm
Weird, they have a Portuguese version. Who cares about Portuguese-speaking countries?
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Ryder P. Moses on December 24, 2002, 09:30:49 pm
[Watches Styxx rape Levythan with a shovel]
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Levyathan on December 24, 2002, 09:32:19 pm
At least spell it right, damnit.
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Ryder P. Moses on December 24, 2002, 09:33:37 pm
You spelled it wrong, why should I bother?:p
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Levyathan on December 24, 2002, 09:36:25 pm
Maybe because I wanted it like this?
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: NeoHunter on December 24, 2002, 09:57:48 pm
Hmmm....
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Ryder P. Moses on December 24, 2002, 11:04:12 pm
And I want a harem of supermodels. Some things, you just can't change 'em whenever you like, dude, and the English language is one of 'em.:D
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: diamondgeezer on December 24, 2002, 11:47:29 pm
According to NORAD, the Big Man is currently somewhere over Colorado Springs. Hope the guys and girls there are all asleep :nod:
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Setekh on December 25, 2002, 03:54:38 am
Quote
Does Santa exist?
 
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the  workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we  know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
 
600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance--this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
 
Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
 
Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. Merry Christmas.


:D
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sandwich on December 25, 2002, 04:29:57 am
Quote
Originally posted by Ryder P. Moses
[Watches Styxx rape Levythan with a shovel]


Quote
Originally posted by Levyathan
At least spell it right, damnit.


:wtf: Do you two know each other? :wtf:
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Nuclear1 on December 25, 2002, 06:47:51 am
Quote
Originally posted by Sandwich




:wtf: Do you two know each other? :wtf:


sand, good idea to sit this one out....;)
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: vyper on December 25, 2002, 07:59:46 am
Quote
Originally posted by Setekh


:D


Maybe he's omnipotent. How else could be know who's naughty and nice? :p
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Levyathan on December 25, 2002, 10:36:34 am
Quote
Originally posted by Ryder P. Moses
Some things, you just can't change 'em whenever you like, dude, and the English language is one of 'em.:D

You're assuming too much. Who ever said it was in English?

Quote
Originally posted by Sandwich
:wtf: Do you two know each other? :wtf:

I just can't stand it when people misspell my name. It's like if I said Sandwitch... you wouldn't like that, now would you?
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: diamondgeezer on December 25, 2002, 07:56:30 pm
Setekh's here? Have I missed something? *waves*
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Styxx on December 25, 2002, 08:03:29 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Ryder P. Moses
[Watches Styxx rape Levythan with a shovel]


Nah. And who are you again? :blah:
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Levyathan on December 25, 2002, 09:19:35 pm
Stryke 9. Shrike has temporarily banned him.
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Ryder P. Moses on December 25, 2002, 09:24:20 pm
His turn will come. I am not yet defeated, nor shall I be.
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: diamondgeezer on December 25, 2002, 09:31:15 pm
Let me know when his turn is about to come, so I can get ye olde popcorn in :nod:
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Ryder P. Moses on December 25, 2002, 09:36:05 pm
When my vengeance comes, it will be swift as lightning, catching all unsuspecting. I will move with speed and deadliness of ninja, and none shall stop me from my goal. Not admin rights, not samurai, not even hall of swinging blades. Well, maybe hall of swinging blades. Which is why I bring dynamite.
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Levyathan on December 25, 2002, 09:39:15 pm
Whoa. I better not be sleeping when that happens.
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sesquipedalian on December 25, 2002, 09:43:56 pm
nevermind
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Ryder P. Moses on December 25, 2002, 09:47:51 pm
Asleep, awake, it not matter. When fury of Stryke ninja come upon you like rain of death, those I mark as enemy will fall.
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Stunaep on December 26, 2002, 08:49:22 am
Quote
Originally posted by vyper


Maybe he's omnipotent. How else could be know who's naughty and nice? :p


why does John DeLancie (sp?) suddenly pop into my mind.

they should really make a TNG movie with Q.
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sandwich on December 26, 2002, 07:36:59 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Stunaep


why does John DeLancie (sp?) suddenly pop into my mind.

they should really make a TNG movie with Q.


No, they really need to make a Star Wars movie with Jackie Chan as a Jedi. ;7 ;7 ;7
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: vyper on December 27, 2002, 04:06:18 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Stunaep


why does John DeLancie (sp?) suddenly pop into my mind.

they should really make a TNG movie with Q.


They should make a movie about courtmatialling Picard. Lets look at some data:

Enterprise 1701 - 20 Years + until destruction over Genesis
Enterprise 1701 A - All the way up until the B (Or was it the end of Undiscovered Country? Since crew being retired?)
Enterprise 1701 B - Pretty bloody long, long enough to get shoved in a museum and replaced with an Ambassor class :ick
Enterprise 1701 C - Meh, fair enough this one got its arse kicked
Enterprise 1701 D - 7 Years. :blah:
Enterprise 1701 E - 3 movies (from what I gather)

Now, the 1701 was possibly the most technologically inept vessel in the skies, but she lasted 20 years, and the E was the most powerful starfleet vessel in the fleet, and she lasted 3 movies. :wtf:
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Setekh on December 28, 2002, 09:40:32 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Sandwich
No, they really need to make a Star Wars movie with Jackie Chan as a Jedi. ;7 ;7 ;7


Yes please! :D
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Knight Templar on December 28, 2002, 09:46:51 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Sandwich

No, they really need to make a Star Wars movie with Jackie Chan as a Jedi.   ;7;7;7


Hell yeah!!! :cool:

Make him a Sith though :devil:   (not that it'd fit with lucas's story
:sigh: )

Quote
Originally posted by Vyper

Now, the 1701 was possibly the most technologically inept vessel in the skies, but she lasted 20 years, and the E was the most powerful starfleet vessel in the fleet, and she lasted 3 movies. :wtf:


who says she's down for the count? They showed her in Dry dock being repaired..
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: diamondgeezer on December 28, 2002, 11:42:07 pm
:wtf:


1701 crashed into a planet... even if bits survived, they'd have probably been destroyed by the Genesis effect...
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sandwich on December 29, 2002, 05:16:17 pm
Quote
Originally posted by diamondgeezer
:wtf:


1701 crashed into a planet... even if bits survived, they'd have probably been destroyed by the Genesis effect...


I think he meant 1701-E...
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Knight Templar on December 29, 2002, 06:26:13 pm
:nod:

Yes I meant E, but I won't mention the fact that DG is combining to differnet enterprises that I wasn't talking about.

D crashed, Original self destructed. And D was after the Genesis device, and it was also destroyed on an entirly different planet.
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sandwich on December 30, 2002, 04:00:48 am
Fact of the matter is that nowadays, Hollywood's opinion of the American Public is such that unless something is blown apart spectacularly within a certain period of time from it's beginnings, people lose interest. Bah, humbug!
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Ulundel on December 30, 2002, 04:02:44 am
Quote
Originally posted by Sandwich
Fact of the matter is that nowadays, Hollywood's opinion of the American Public is such that unless something is blown apart spectacularly within a certain period of time from it's beginnings, people lose interest. Bah, humbug!


But let's be honest here - most of the time it's true.
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sandwich on December 30, 2002, 04:12:53 am
Quote
Originally posted by Ten of Twelve


But let's be honest here - most of the time it's true.


I disagree - all the nice explosions (heck, they even invented new ones!) in SW:EP II didn't make it a good, well-liked movie. And there are plenty of good movies that have no explosions - and heck, if you count chic-flicks as movies,most of 'em don't even have any action scenes! :p
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: diamondgeezer on December 30, 2002, 04:36:40 am
Quote
Originally posted by Knight Templar
Yes I meant E, but I won't mention the fact that DG is combining to differnet enterprises that I wasn't talking about.


Quite frankly, sir, you may shove that up your arse. 1701 crashed in to the Genesis planet, after the self destruct had destroyed half the saucer section.

But I see your point about the initial confusion - I've not seen Nemesis, see? Speaking of which, it's out at the end of the week over here... methinks I have a cunning plan ;7
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Styxx on December 30, 2002, 05:31:57 am
Quote
Originally posted by Sandwich
...if you count chic-flicks as movies...


No, I don't.
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sesquipedalian on December 30, 2002, 05:50:01 am
In the name of all things holy I abjure you, let it die!  Can't you see the misery this thread is in?  It wants to die.  It wants to meet its maker (oh wait, that'd be me...).  It wants to go to its eternal rest and enjoy the quiet peace and fulfillment of a departed thread.  Please, let it go now.  Have mercy.
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Styxx on December 30, 2002, 07:11:34 am
Quote
Originally posted by Sesquipedalian
In the name of all things holy I abjure you, let it die!  Can't you see the misery this thread is in?  It wants to die.  It wants to meet its maker (oh wait, that'd be me...).  It wants to go to its eternal rest and enjoy the quiet peace and fulfillment of a departed thread.  Please, let it go now.  Have mercy.


Hmm...
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Ulundel on December 30, 2002, 07:18:32 am
Quote
Originally posted by Sandwich


I disagree - all the nice explosions (heck, they even invented new ones!) in SW:EP II didn't make it a good, well-liked movie. And there are plenty of good movies that have no explosions - and heck, if you count chic-flicks as movies,most of 'em don't even have any action scenes! :p


Yeah, maybe. But almost every movie needs at least one explosion. Let's take Red Dragon for example... :)
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: diamondgeezer on December 30, 2002, 08:11:36 am
Hmm... Two Towers had, IIRC, had two explosions (when the wto bombs went off), whilst Fellowship had none. No wait, I tell a lie - Feloowship had Gandalf's fireworks. Hmm... the point I was going to make just evaporated. Ho hum.

More importantly, I have just stuck the end of my finger in to my processor fan, and as a result my finger is experiencing a great deal of localised but quite intense pain, and there is more blood on my keyboard keys than can possibly be considered 'normal'... ow, my poor figgin...
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: kode on December 30, 2002, 08:22:56 am
heh... you've screwed up. can't recall how many times I've done similar things, but I never started bleeding...
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Gortef on December 30, 2002, 09:13:37 am
Quite an old joke actually... but it remains funny :D

(Hello you friendly AWACS!... :) )
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Styxx on December 30, 2002, 09:50:09 am
Quote
Originally posted by diamondgeezer
More importantly, I have just stuck the end of my finger in to my processor fan, and as a result my finger is experiencing a great deal of localised but quite intense pain, and there is more blood on my keyboard keys than can possibly be considered 'normal'... ow, my poor figgin...


Can you please enlighten us about the reason why you did that?
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sandwich on December 30, 2002, 12:20:48 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Sesquipedalian
In the name of all things holy I abjure you, let it die!  


"Abjure"??? Methinks you've just invented a new word. :D

Oh, and DG? What are the blades on your CPU fan made of, anyway? Collapsed duranium? Razor wire?? :wtf:
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Ulundel on December 30, 2002, 12:25:03 pm
hot wax perhaps?
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sandwich on December 30, 2002, 12:27:40 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Ten of Twelve
hot wax perhaps?


*heavily doubts anyone has ever bled from hot wax*
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Ulundel on December 30, 2002, 12:33:33 pm
:wtf: uuh...right

EDIT: sorry for the bad joke :)
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Levyathan on December 30, 2002, 02:50:21 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Sandwich
"Abjure"??? Methinks you've just invented a new word. :D

I don't think so (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=abjure*1+0) .
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sandwich on December 30, 2002, 03:22:48 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Levyathan

I don't think so (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=abjure*1+0) .


Ok, fine. But his usage of the word, with that definition in mind, makes no sense. "Implore" would have been more appropriate.

*is tempted to stickify this thread just to spite Sesq*
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sesquipedalian on December 30, 2002, 07:03:17 pm
Typo.  I meant adjure (http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=adjure).
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: diamondgeezer on December 30, 2002, 10:50:39 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Styxx
Can you please enlighten us about the reason why you did that?


It's obvious, really - I missed

And the fan is only regular plastic. I'm as :confused: as the rest of you (fourteen hourse later, and it still hurts... :sigh: )
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sandwich on December 31, 2002, 04:46:10 am
Quote
Originally posted by Sesquipedalian
Typo.  I meant adjure (http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=adjure).


Ahhh... basically a synonym of "implore" anyway. Hah! :p
Title: NORAD tracks Santa!
Post by: Sesquipedalian on December 31, 2002, 07:10:56 am
Quote
Originally posted by Sandwich


Ahhh... basically a synonym of "implore" anyway. Hah! :p
Yes, it is...
:wtf: