Hard Light Productions Forums

Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: aldo_14 on February 21, 2003, 03:13:04 am

Title: Noah
Post by: aldo_14 on February 21, 2003, 03:13:04 am
One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old china, I want
you to make me a new Ark".

Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being. Anything you
want. After all, you're the guv"

... But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch.
"This time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, . . I want 20
decks one on top of the other".

"20 DECKS!", screams Noah. "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you
say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"

"Yep, that's right, well . . sort of right . . this time I want you
to fill it up with fish", God answers.

"Fish?", queries Noah

"Yep, fish . . well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp -
wall to wall, floor to ceiling -Carp!"

Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this
right, you want a New Ark?"
"Check".

"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?".
"Check".

 "And you want it full of Carp?".
"Check".

"Why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely
getting to the end of his tether..........................



"Dunno", says God,

"I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark"
Title: Noah
Post by: Blue Lion on February 21, 2003, 03:18:32 am
Urge to kill rising....
Title: Noah
Post by: Turnsky on February 21, 2003, 03:50:36 am
mein gott in himmel
Title: Noah
Post by: Razor on February 21, 2003, 03:56:18 am
himmel means heaven doesn't it?
Title: Noah
Post by: Turnsky on February 21, 2003, 04:02:14 am
translation: my god in heaven..

that's about all the german i can speak the other is shisenhousen  (may have mispelt) i'll let someone translate
Title: Noah
Post by: Fineus on February 21, 2003, 04:33:21 am
I found that pretty funny.

I'll get my coat.
Title: Noah
Post by: Zeronet on February 21, 2003, 07:28:27 am
:blah:
Title: Noah
Post by: HotSnoJ on February 21, 2003, 07:38:35 am
Okaaaaaaaay.

*whispers to someone to call the nut fa... I mean happy place*
Title: Noah
Post by: CP5670 on February 21, 2003, 10:51:52 am
sorry, didn't get the joke there... :wtf:
Title: Noah
Post by: Knight Templar on February 21, 2003, 10:59:53 am
---




:doubt:
Title: Noah
Post by: Petrarch of the VBB on February 21, 2003, 02:04:22 pm
That's quite funny, if a little long winded.
Title: Noah
Post by: beatspete on February 21, 2003, 04:13:24 pm
*grabs large rusty pliers*

*gets on train down to aldo-ville*

Lenzie? Near glasgow aint it?

*buys some buckfast to distract the Neds with*



...Anyway, somewhat amusing, in the way that hurts.
Title: Noah
Post by: aldo_14 on February 21, 2003, 04:19:29 pm
Quote
Originally posted by beatspete
*grabs large rusty pliers*

*gets on train down to aldo-ville*

Lenzie? Near glasgow aint it?

*buys some buckfast to distract the Neds with*



...Anyway, somewhat amusing, in the way that hurts.


You'll need at least a case of Mad Dog to get past the neds in my little hamlet......
Title: Noah
Post by: Shrike on February 21, 2003, 04:23:07 pm
Is this some kind of british humor at work?
Title: Noah
Post by: beatspete on February 21, 2003, 04:37:02 pm
Yes.



Okay, i'll explain it to you.  "Neds" is the term for the youth scum that hang about in glasgow.  They drink 'Buckfast' cause its cheap alcohol.
Title: Noah
Post by: Shrike on February 21, 2003, 04:47:20 pm
Quote
Originally posted by beatspete
Yes.

Okay, i'll explain it to you.  "Neds" is the term for the youth scum that hang about in glasgow.  They drink 'Buckfast' cause its cheap alcohol.
Right.  Too bad I wasn't asking about your post, I was talking about the alleged joke perpetrated here.
Title: Noah
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 21, 2003, 04:48:55 pm
Quote
Originally posted by beatspete
"Neds" is the term for the youth scum that hang about in glasgow.  They drink 'Buckfast' cause its cheap alcohol.


And then they go "blind" and get "brain damage" from the "buckfast" and make "jokes" like these?
Title: Noah
Post by: beatspete on February 21, 2003, 05:39:46 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Shrike
Right.  Too bad I wasn't asking about your post, I was talking about the alleged joke perpetrated here.


Yeah, i did think about that.
Title: Noah
Post by: Kamikaze on February 21, 2003, 06:08:40 pm
Erm.... seemed like good joke material but the ending doesn't seem to result in too many laughs...

Or am I missing something?
Title: Noah
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 21, 2003, 06:15:17 pm
There are times in every young man's life when he must give pause, and ask himself the question: Was my post necessary? Did it contribute in any way to the lives of those who will read it? Is it worth the server space it takes up? If my post had never existed, would the world be a better or worse place?
Title: Noah
Post by: Carl on February 21, 2003, 08:19:49 pm
i'm guessing it's a pun of some sort, but i don't quite understand it. must be some british thing.
Title: Noah
Post by: Levyathan on February 21, 2003, 10:58:37 pm
I've read that and laughed, but right now I'm just wondering if I really got the joke or not.
Title: Noah
Post by: Bobboau on February 21, 2003, 11:18:01 pm
becase it seems like the sort of thing the Biblical God would do
Title: Noah
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 21, 2003, 11:37:18 pm
Nah, 'e'd just kill Noah in some novel way, wipe out his family, his dog, and everyone he's ever met, and then fabricate some reason for it. Fun guy, Old Testament God.
Title: Noah
Post by: Bobboau on February 22, 2003, 12:00:02 am
he didn't build my Multi-Storey Carp Ark!
eternal pit of fire and brimstone!
Title: Noah
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 22, 2003, 12:34:00 am
You know, I ordered my eternal pit of fire and brimstone three weeks ago, and it STILL hasn't shown up. The catalogue said "allow seven to ten days for delivery", but this is ridiculous!
Title: Noah
Post by: Bobboau on February 22, 2003, 01:26:44 am
oh, it'll get here eventualy,
I mean they wouldn't lie to us would they
nah
Title: Noah
Post by: Turnsky on February 22, 2003, 02:16:46 am
when you do get it don't forget those things can be a real ***** to get lit the first-time around
Title: Noah
Post by: 01010 on February 22, 2003, 07:49:32 am
Quote
Originally posted by Turnsky
when you do get it don't forget those things can be a real ***** to get lit the first-time around


I don't recommend lighter fuel.

:: paints eyebrows back on ::
Title: Noah
Post by: Black Wolf on February 22, 2003, 10:45:58 am
*Laughs at the man with no eyebrows*

How pissed were you last night!

Andf I got the joke... sadly enough.
Title: Noah
Post by: beatspete on February 22, 2003, 11:29:13 am
maybee the car park/parking lot thing is confusing people.

Parking Lot = Car Park

Carp ark = car park.

Probably need to read it out loud.
Title: Noah
Post by: aldo_14 on February 22, 2003, 02:55:34 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Stryke 9
There are times in every young man's life when he must give pause, and ask himself the question: Was my post necessary? Did it contribute in any way to the lives of those who will read it? Is it worth the server space it takes up? If my post had never existed, would the world be a better or worse place?


So that'd be about 5717 times for you, then?

Just be glad I didn't post any of the duck jokes.
Title: Noah
Post by: an0n on February 22, 2003, 03:01:02 pm
Old joke.
Title: Noah
Post by: Petrarch of the VBB on February 23, 2003, 10:30:22 am
Quote
Originally posted by beatspete
maybee the car park/parking lot thing is confusing people.

Parking Lot = Car Park

Carp ark = car park.

Probably need to read it out loud.


People really are stupid, aren't they?