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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: HotSnoJ on February 22, 2003, 05:46:21 am

Title: French Jokes
Post by: HotSnoJ on February 22, 2003, 05:46:21 am
Hey got some funny French jokes.

Q. How many French does it take to defend Paris?

A. No one knows, it's never been done.


I saw a French Army rifle for sale on Ebay today. It said, "Great condition. Never fire. Dropped once.


And finally I want you fellow HLPers to fill these ones in.

Quote
1. Going to war with the French is like....

2. Going to war without the French is like....


Going to war without the French is like going to war with the French.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Nico on February 22, 2003, 06:09:21 am
hahaha.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Top Gun on February 22, 2003, 06:36:51 am
Woop de doo:rolleyes:
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Turnsky on February 22, 2003, 03:10:24 pm
i'll have a crack at number 2: *ahem*

"going to war without the french is like going deer hunting without your accordion"
Title: French Jokes
Post by: an0n on February 22, 2003, 04:06:54 pm
Going to war with the French is like going swimming with Michael Barrymore. No-one's really sure what happened but someone died and a popular entertainer has moved to Germany.

Going to war without France is like boxing with one arm. You've got nothing to throw in the way of your opponent's attacks.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Knight Templar on February 22, 2003, 04:07:03 pm
So does this mean we can kill Iraq?


:D
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Bobboau on February 22, 2003, 04:23:32 pm
yes
Title: French Jokes
Post by: aldo_14 on February 22, 2003, 04:23:36 pm
Going to war without the French is like World War 2

Going to war with the French is like Vietnam

Can we drop the petty cracks at the French, please?  If it was about people with turbans, this'd be closed.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: an0n on February 22, 2003, 04:26:21 pm
Going to war with Al Qaeda is like sticking a "Blow the **** out of me" sign on the whitehouse.

Going to war without Al Qaeda is like admitting you're attacking Iraq for it's oil.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: aldo_14 on February 22, 2003, 04:31:58 pm
Going to war with the UN is like sharing oil

Going to war without the UN is like keeping all the oil for yourself
Title: French Jokes
Post by: an0n on February 22, 2003, 04:34:31 pm
Going to war with the UN is like having a pardon already arranged.

Going to war without the UN is like.....err....going to war with the UN.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: an0n on February 22, 2003, 04:36:28 pm
(http://www.fattonys.com/images/kittens.jpg)
Title: French Jokes
Post by: beatspete on February 22, 2003, 04:50:14 pm
KILL THE KITTENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


:nervous:
I mean, end the thread.
Title: Re: French Jokes
Post by: Ace on February 22, 2003, 06:07:22 pm
Quote
Originally posted by HotSnoJ
Hey got some funny French jokes.

Q. How many French does it take to defend Paris?

A. No one knows, it's never been done.


I saw a French Army rifle for sale on Ebay today. It said, "Great condition. Never fire. Dropped once.


And finally I want you fellow HLPers to fill these ones in.



Going to war without the French is like going to war with the French.


Sounds like somebody forgot about Napoleon :rolleyes:
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 22, 2003, 06:09:49 pm
Wait! The French don't always surrender! We, uh... had an angry midget 400 years ago! He didn't surrender!

Oh, wait, he did. That was why he went into exile twice. Still!



Just foolin', y'all. Don't make me eat sparrow tongues or something.

Title: French Jokes
Post by: Ace on February 22, 2003, 06:15:49 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Stryke 9
Wait! The French don't always surrender! We, uh... had an angry midget 400 years ago! He didn't surrender!

Oh, wait, he did. That was why he went into exile twice. Still!



Just foolin', y'all. Don't make me eat sparrow tongues or something.



My point exactly! The fact is how many countries could have produced such an angry little man? ;)
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 22, 2003, 06:17:37 pm
Run! Gozirra! And double posting!
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 22, 2003, 06:18:14 pm
We're working on it. Bush'll have to do for now- a dumb, but malevolent little man.;)
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Nuclear1 on February 22, 2003, 07:21:12 pm
Victory? We don't even have a word for it!
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Zeronet on February 22, 2003, 07:38:45 pm
Napoleon lived in a different type of france.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: an0n on February 22, 2003, 07:44:01 pm
(http://www.fattonys.com/images/kittens2.jpg)
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Zeronet on February 22, 2003, 07:46:26 pm
:lol:
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Falcon X on February 22, 2003, 08:13:48 pm
Why when France is talked about only Napoleon is mentioned.  What about William the Conqueror (also the bastard)?  He bloody took over England and made it his own.  Look at the English language and you can see a lot of french in it.  Doubt me... any word that ends in "ion" is french in origin.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 22, 2003, 08:14:37 pm
"Ion" itself is not French.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Falcon X on February 22, 2003, 08:17:04 pm
not Ion... -ion.  Constitution... combustion... etc IS.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 22, 2003, 08:22:01 pm
And at any rate, I just remembered- Napoleon was Corsican.

So much for that.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Falcon X on February 22, 2003, 08:23:36 pm
Yup... the best French general was William the Bastard.  He was Norman.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: CODEDOG ND on February 22, 2003, 11:20:32 pm
French Fries...anyone?:nervous:
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Blue Lion on February 22, 2003, 11:36:30 pm
(http://www.angelsgraveyard.com/googlefrench.jpg)
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Liberator on February 23, 2003, 01:29:47 am
;7  :yes: :ha: :ha: :ha:
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Sesquipedalian on February 23, 2003, 04:36:21 am
Quote
Originally posted by Falcon X
any word that ends in "ion" is french in origin.
Actually, a great number of them are taken directly from Latin without mediation through French.  French was very formative in the development of English, of course, but the above statement is patently false.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Zeronet on February 23, 2003, 07:14:13 am
William the Conquerer took over england, but he was assimilated into the culture. Actually a good thing, because we almost took over all of France during the 1600's.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Nico on February 23, 2003, 07:27:55 am
So, having fun all of you? I have no doubt about it now, the level of HLP has dropped right into the sewers.
It stinks.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Tiara on February 23, 2003, 07:29:49 am
Meh, without the French America might've had a hard time getting independence as fast as they did.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Nico on February 23, 2003, 07:33:46 am
Well, i'm growing a bit tired of all that french racism going on on these boards, and I'm seriously thinking about leaving this damn community who can now only be defined by its level of agressivity ( which is going through the roof ). why wasting my time for a bunch of dumbasses who obviously hate french, and, so, hate me by the same way?
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Tiara on February 23, 2003, 07:35:54 am
Hey, I do NOT hate French. Its mainly the Americans here that hate 'm. We had a news report on the 6 o' clock news here about that. A Dutch reporter went into an American grocery store (NY) and asked "normal" ppl about the French.

General awnsers:

They suck.

They're cowards.

Boycott all French products!

I'll buy the Dutch Gouda cheese instead of french Camenbert now!
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Nico on February 23, 2003, 07:50:11 am
Quote
Originally posted by Tiara
Hey, I do NOT hate French.


I don't know about you, I was talking about everybody on this board, in general. This is going on and on for weeks now, and I'm fed up. If this keeps going on, I'll just leave. And don't come and tell me about jokes or **** like that, I see no jokes in this thread, just acneic teenagers releasing their hormones as they can.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Tiara on February 23, 2003, 07:56:08 am
Quote
Originally posted by venom2506


I don't know about you, I was talking about everybody on this board, in general. This is going on and one for weeks now, and I'm fed up. If this keeps going on, I'll just leave. And don't come and tell me about jokes or **** like that, I see now jokes in this thread, just acneic teenagers releasing their hormones as they can.


:nod:

Its quite :ick how people can be so self-centered, egocentric and deaf. The French disagree on something and suddebnly they are the bad guys. The US and pro-US'ers have an attitude like this: "Do as we say or we'll **** you over with propaganda and insults".

I think the French can be proud for having their own opinion and not giving in to the intimidation of the US.

anywayz, I'm also fed up with nationality bashing.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: LtNarol on February 23, 2003, 08:31:03 am
Hey, I don't hate the French, I think their military is rather lacking in these recent years and thats probably why they want to back off on Iraq - in addition to probably numerous economic and or morality issues.  But you gotta admit, some of these jokes are rather funny and are far cleaner than some of the anti-american jokes that have been flung around this community.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Nico on February 23, 2003, 08:39:18 am
Quote
Originally posted by LtNarol
Hey, I don't hate the French, I think their military is rather lacking in these recent years and thats probably why they want to back off on Iraq - in addition to probably numerous economic and or morality issues.  But you gotta admit, some of these jokes are rather funny and are far cleaner than some of the anti-american jokes that have been flung around this community.


well no, I don't find this funny, if you wonder why I don't make jokes about peopes nationality, it's because the one who is the target NEVER finds it funny to be mocked up. And here the tone is not of jokes. And ****, I don't give a damn, have fun, you all.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Crazy_Ivan80 on February 23, 2003, 09:27:21 am
Quote
Originally posted by Zeronet
William the Conquerer took over england, but he was assimilated into the culture. Actually a good thing, because we almost took over all of France during the 1600's.


that's 1300 and 1400. By 1453 the French had kicked the English out of France proper, except for Calais, which changed hands somewhere in the 1600 iirc.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Zeronet on February 23, 2003, 10:34:16 am
Quote
Originally posted by venom2506
Well, i'm growing a bit tired of all that french racism going on on these boards, and I'm seriously thinking about leaving this damn community who can now only be defined by its level of agressivity ( which is going through the roof ). why wasting my time for a bunch of dumbasses who obviously hate french, and, so, hate me by the same way?


I actually only laughed at an0n's picture and made a comment about Napoleon and William.

Mainly, all the anti-US sentiment is annoying people in the US and they are retaliating against it and other things.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: karajorma on February 23, 2003, 10:39:59 am
Just quit it all of you so we can gang up on antartica :D
Title: French Jokes
Post by: an0n on February 23, 2003, 10:46:57 am
I hate all nationalities and minority groups.

Infact, I hate people in general.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Knight Templar on February 23, 2003, 11:01:59 am
Quote
Originally posted by venom2506
Well, i'm growing a bit tired of all that french racism going on on these boards, and I'm seriously thinking about leaving this damn community who can now only be defined by its level of agressivity ( which is going through the roof ). why wasting my time for a bunch of dumbasses who obviously hate french, and, so, hate me by the same way?


everyone *****es about the US. there's one or two here that love bush, a few that don't care, and the rest hate him, thus they say they hate the US, when they don't even live here or have never been here. Now you don't see me whining about it. Why? Because I don't really care. If a bunch of ignorant people want to say something that is incorrect, their stupidity is enough to let me ignore them.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Darkage on February 23, 2003, 11:45:31 am
:rolleyes:

This is the most retarted thread ever. I am starting to dislike this place because of all the dumbass political discusions ( that always end in flame wars ) and threads like this.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: phreak on February 23, 2003, 12:18:10 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Darkage
:rolleyes:

This is the most retarted thread ever. I am starting to dislike this place because of all the dumbass political discusions ( that always end in flame wars ) and threads like this.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Black Wolf on February 23, 2003, 12:19:11 pm
I think I'm willing to freely admit my minds weakness. I am against war on Iraq, against Bush, and the way he's pressuring the UN, and yet, due to the way they're painted on the news, I can't see France and Germany as the good guys in all this. Unlike the vast majority of the western population however, I'm willing to admit that my not dislike but lack of likeiness towards them is nothing more than the product of negative news reports, and predjudiced views from other sources.

That and the fact that ever since about September 11, international politics have pissed me off so much that I've all but decided to hate every country except Australia and Nauru.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: CP5670 on February 23, 2003, 12:26:11 pm
Quote
everyone *****es about the US. there's one or two here that love bush, a few that don't care, and the rest hate him, thus they say they hate the US, when they don't even live here or have never been here. Now you don't see me whining about it. Why? Because I don't really care. If a bunch of ignorant people want to say something that is incorrect, their stupidity is enough to let me ignore them.


You have a point there. The US receives far more bashing around here than any other country due to its being the biggest, but few complain when that happens, and most americans, myself included, take it with the same humor as anything else. Being truly "offended" by such things (or anything, for that matter) is just as stupid as posting them in the first place.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Knight Templar on February 23, 2003, 12:55:05 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Darkage
:rolleyes:

This is the most retarted thread ever. I am starting to dislike this place because of all the dumbass political discusions ( that always end in flame wars ) and threads like this.



who started it anyways?

*wants to turn on the bbq* :D
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Tiara on February 23, 2003, 01:32:52 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Knight Templar


everyone *****es about the US. there's one or two here that love bush, a few that don't care, and the rest hate him, thus they say they hate the US, when they don't even live here or have never been here. Now you don't see me whining about it. Why? Because I don't really care. If a bunch of ignorant people want to say something that is incorrect, their stupidity is enough to let me ignore them.


Again, like with the French, I do NOT hate America. I hate their policy. They have propaganda all over the place (Army man candy :rolleyes: ). Everything thety say is right in their mind and nobody else can do a damn thing about that. Not even listen to what another has to say.

I don't want to bash the US. Not at all. Just their policy.

[French accent]Can't we all just, get along?[/Frenchaccent] :D

*goes to bash in younger brothers head for deleting KazAa files*
Title: French Jokes
Post by: SKYNET-011 on February 23, 2003, 01:38:54 pm
This is definitley going to be locked. :nervous:
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Blue Lion on February 23, 2003, 01:43:08 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Tiara


Again, like with the French, I do NOT hate America. I hate their policy. They have propaganda all over the place (Army man candy :rolleyes: ). Everything thety say is right in their mind and nobody else can do a damn thing about that. Not even listen to what another has to say.

I don't want to bash the US. Not at all. Just their policy.



And I don't hate the French, just their policy :) I'm sprry if my opinion doesn't please you.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Darkage on February 23, 2003, 01:49:09 pm
These kinda threads shouldn't be allowed anymore, because they only lead to flame wars and bashing each others country's. It used to be fun here until this political **** and links to news pages where france or any other country has been bashed because they don't argee with the US.


Just ****ing close this ****.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Blue Lion on February 23, 2003, 01:51:09 pm
I'll remember that next time someone brings up anti-us/bush thread. :)
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Razor on February 23, 2003, 01:54:20 pm
Do you guys wounder why about 90% of the world hates US? Simple, you killed more people than any other nation in the world. Ok Maybe Germany killed more, but lets start to count:

1. Millions in Japan when you threw the first two nukes. Just a note. They were almost all civillians.

2. Thousonds, maybe millions in Vietnam

3. 250 000 in the Gulf War. Correct me if I am wrong

4. A few thousonds in the civil war on Balkan (1990-1995)

5. 2 maybe 3 thousond innocent civillians arround Yugoslavia in 1999 bombing (including both Serbs and Albanians (oh yeah you were deffending them :rolleyes: ) ) But there were mostly Serbs.

And who knows how many others got killed. And now you wounder why the world hates you?
No serriously, I don't really have anything against American people, but your government sucks big time. Do you think that the world likes to be controlled by bushes administration?
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Tiara on February 23, 2003, 02:37:38 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Blue Lion

And I don't hate the French, just their policy :) I'm sprry if my opinion doesn't please you.


Hey, I might not have your opinion but everyone is entitled to their own opinion right? Well, the US policy makes it seem like that is no longer the case.

Ow, and I only admire someone who stands with his/her opinion. But there must always be room for reason. :) (That was just a random statement)
Title: French Jokes
Post by: CP5670 on February 23, 2003, 02:48:21 pm
Quote
And who knows how many others got killed. And now you wounder why the world hates you?
No serriously, I don't really have anything against American people, but your government sucks big time. Do you think that the world likes to be controlled by bushes administration?


They don't really have a choice. :D But like I said in that other thread, of course we are evil, as is every other sensible country in the world. The US government does what any other government does; they want to see the nation as a whole prosper, and this sometimes calls for the downfall of the other competing nations. In the end, every country wants to conquer the world in some way or another, so it becomes an issue of who is more skillful at it, and US has been doing fairly well so far.

One other thing: civilians are military targets and militants are civilian targets, since each one helps the other, so any distinctions between the two are pointless.

Quote
Hey, I might not have your opinion but everyone is entitled to their own opinion right? Well, the US policy makes it seem like that is no longer the case.


Only if you have the power to enforce that opinion. Now US policy obviously only goes by American opinions, not worldwide opinions, and any government with half a brain would do the same thing. The rest of the world is opposing the US because they want to see its demise, and the same goes for why the US is not listening too much. I mean, taking the opinion of another nation at an equal level as your own is like asking Hussein if he would like to be attacked and adjusting your policy based on that. :p
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Razor on February 23, 2003, 03:07:14 pm
Quote
Originally posted by CP5670
One other thing: civilians are military targets


That has to be the stupidest statement I have ever heard in ages. Civillians are millitary targets eh? So I suppose you dont care about the yanks who died on 11.9. So if you dont I suppose that we shouldnt care about them either right?



Quote
Of course we are evil, as is every other sensible country in the world.


I suppose my country, Yugoslavia is also evil because we deffended ourselves from terrorists that were killing our people in masses on our own soil.
Yeah! I suppose you (Americans) think killing people is OK.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Tiara on February 23, 2003, 03:08:06 pm
Quote
Originally posted by CP5670
The rest of the world is opposing the US because they want to see its demise, and the same goes for why the US is not listening too much.


...

I don't want to see the US's demise.

And thats exectly my point. The US doesn't listen. They are deaf. And deaf nations are also often blind as they blindly follow their own self-centered thoughts.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Knight Templar on February 23, 2003, 03:24:41 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Razor

I suppose my country, Yugoslavia is also evil because we deffended ourselves from terrorists that were killing our people in masses on our own soil.
Yeah! I suppose you (Americans) think killing people is OK.


Why are you stereotyping "You americans" when only one of us said that? An over rational one at that. Haven't we been over stereotyping in Political debate threads?

And I'm curious to hear what all you haters think of say, mexico. They are murders right? Look what they did to South/Central America? I think they should all be put to death, no? Of course by Americans, one could assume you mean them too. :doubt:
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Blue Lion on February 23, 2003, 03:42:58 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Tiara


Hey, I might not have your opinion but everyone is entitled to their own opinion right? Well, the US policy makes it seem like that is no longer the case.

Ow, and I only admire someone who stands with his/her opinion. But there must always be room for reason. :) (That was just a random statement)


I don't recall forcing the French to do anything, or anyone else for that matter. Hell I don't even know if the US government is forcing the French to do anything, they're just pressuring as far a I know.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Blue Lion on February 23, 2003, 03:44:41 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Razor

I suppose my country, Yugoslavia is also evil because we deffended ourselves from terrorists that were killing our people in masses on our own soil.
Yeah! I suppose you (Americans) think killing people is OK.



Nope, didn't you know? Yugoslavia has been the shining example of peace and stability. Why ever since WW1 has never been involved in anything.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: 01010 on February 23, 2003, 03:50:59 pm
Another one?
Title: French Jokes
Post by: aldo_14 on February 23, 2003, 03:52:19 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Razor

I suppose my country, Yugoslavia is also evil because we deffended ourselves from terrorists that were killing our people in masses on our own soil.
Yeah! I suppose you (Americans) think killing people is OK.


No, you (former Yugoslavia, now Serbia & Montenegro) started to commit an act of Genocide on the Kosovo people.  Of course, for a country with a history of ethnic cleansing, it's not entirely surprising that it would be considered 'ok' to slaughter innocent men, women and children.....

The bombing of Yugoslavia was quite simple - the world could not permit the massacring of an innocent populace with no real form of defence, so NATO stopped in.  Simple.

I don't agree with this whole war thing because the reasons given are utter garbage - the US / UK* reasons change daily, and ar very rarely consistent with the actions and opinions of either the population (at least in the uk), or the majority of the UN.  If a war is going to be over weapons of mass destruction, surely the inspectors ent to find and destroy those weapons should be fully supported and informed, not immediately decried?  

Not to mention the dictatorial stance of the US towards those who oppose its stance - threatening punitive trade sanctions against France / Germany, for example, for expressing their opinions - as is their democratic right as a free country (the very rights the US / UK are claiming to be defending) .  And using their financial muscle to influence the smaller nations on the UN security council (including, bizarrely, the prospect of cheaper weapons for the likes of Bulgaria and Chile).

If the UN supports war with a resolution, fair enough.  Otherwise, it's against the will of the democratic world (and China as well, however much that matters), and is thus surely wrong (and punishable by sanctions).

*for UK, read 'Tony Blair'.  I've yet to meet anyone who wants a war at any cost.

However, I do object to the 'hijacking' of some of these anti-war marches by the pro-Palestine brigade, who for a long time have seemed to be more fuelled by some bizarre hatred of Israel - especially as this whole debate has nothing to do with that situation.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Zeronet on February 23, 2003, 04:11:44 pm
Aldo, your generalizing the American Congress. Just because a few say that, doesnt mean they are all.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: aldo_14 on February 23, 2003, 05:12:07 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Zeronet
Aldo, your generalizing the American Congress. Just because a few say that, doesnt mean they are all.


That is a pretty fair comment.... unfortunately it's the man at the very top that worries me, but that's another debate.  

I find it pretty damning on those congressmen that they are even suggesting it, though.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Ace on February 23, 2003, 05:12:47 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Blue Lion


I don't recall forcing the French to do anything, or anyone else for that matter. Hell I don't even know if the US government is forcing the French to do anything, they're just pressuring as far a I know.


Colin Powel calling the French people cowards on their own radio station sounds insulting not pressuring to me. You don't insult people if you want their support.

If there is UN support, then that is one thing. However this 'pressuring' is an insult to the US' allies as their citizens.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: aldo_14 on February 23, 2003, 05:31:32 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Ace


Colin Powel calling the French people cowards on their own radio station sounds insulting not pressuring to me. You don't insult people if you want their support.

If there is UN support, then that is one thing. However this 'pressuring' is an insult to the US' allies as their citizens.


He actually said that?  Bloody 'ell, that's asking for trouble... and now he's hoping they won't use their veto!
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Blue Lion on February 23, 2003, 05:47:00 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Ace


Colin Powel calling the French people cowards on their own radio station sounds insulting not pressuring to me. You don't insult people if you want their support.

If there is UN support, then that is one thing. However this 'pressuring' is an insult to the US' allies as their citizens.


Yah, cause you know by insulting someone, you're forcing them? He's not required to like the French. If calling them cowards gets the to show everyone otherwise, it IS pressuring.


And as for the veto, if they do, the US goes in alone, as they've said all along.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: HotSnoJ on February 23, 2003, 06:07:32 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Knight Templar



who started it anyways?

*wants to turn on the bbq* :D

That'd be me.



*runs for cover*:shaking:
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Falcon X on February 23, 2003, 06:12:03 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Blue Lion


Yah, cause you know by insulting someone, you're forcing them? He's not required to like the French. If calling them cowards gets the to show everyone otherwise, it IS pressuring.


And as for the veto, if they do, the US goes in alone, as they've said all along.


And the French say worse things about us.  I find it rediculous in this society you can't speak your opinion without fear of offending someone.  Everyone is way too wishy washy.  I mean the canadian school removing the word "gun" from a test?  Come one get a grip people.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Falcon X on February 23, 2003, 06:12:59 pm
Quote
Originally posted by aldo_14


He actually said that?  Bloody 'ell, that's asking for trouble... and now he's hoping they won't use their veto!


They can use the veto if they want to... Do remember that in the realm of diplomacy what comes around goes around.  They won't.  They also need their ties with Iraq.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 23, 2003, 06:13:55 pm
Yay! An argument about political correctness! Queer retard colored Jew stupid dyke damn! The homeless are just lazy and gay people are an abomination before the Lord! Religion is for morons, unless it's my religion! Let's kill all the Arabs, just to be safe!

:D
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Knight Templar on February 23, 2003, 06:15:25 pm
I think i've actually met one of those...
Title: French Jokes
Post by: SKYNET-011 on February 23, 2003, 06:15:42 pm
Quote
Originally posted by HotSnoJ

That'd be me.

*runs for cover*:shaking:


*Takes flamethrower from under seat*

Crap... it's full of water! :mad:
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Blue Lion on February 23, 2003, 06:31:38 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Falcon X
 I mean the canadian school removing the word "gun" from a test?  Come one get a grip people.



Nooo, guns are evil, violence is bad! Quick, give everyone flowers before someone yells!
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Turnsky on February 23, 2003, 06:34:26 pm
Depends on what flowers you give them ;7
Title: French Jokes
Post by: CP5670 on February 23, 2003, 11:09:33 pm
Quote
That has to be the stupidest statement I have ever heard in ages. Civillians are millitary targets eh? So I suppose you dont care about the yanks who died on 11.9. So if you dont I suppose that we shouldnt care about them either right?


Depends on what you mean by "care." There were some 5000 arbitrary casualties and several billion dollars of damage, which is certainly a setback, but it is not exactly irrecoverable from either. I once again point you to the words of that Vasudan pilot: no sorrow but vengeance. :D And I have given reasons here before about why civilians are military targets; they obviously help the military survive by keeping the economy running and a lot of other things, and without the civilians the military could not survive, so if you attack civilians, you are by extension attacking the military. (and conversely, if you attack military targets, you are indirectly harming civilian targets as well) All wars are fought with this in mind, which is why the civilian casualties are always there. Now you have not given any reasons at all, not even bad ones, for your contention in your statement. Therefore, I say that your statement is the stupidest I have heard in ages. :D

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I suppose my country, Yugoslavia is also evil because we deffended ourselves from terrorists that were killing our people in masses on our own soil.
Yeah! I suppose you (Americans) think killing people is OK.


Absolutely correct. Every surviving country in the world must have killed their enemies, after labeling them "terrorists" and whatever else, and those that did not fight back were overrun and do not exist today. So either you have that everybody is evil or nobody is evil; take your pick, because it is relative and thus doesn't matter. Besides, Yugoslavia is hardly the best example for your argument. :p

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I don't want to see the US's demise.

And thats exectly my point. The US doesn't listen. They are deaf. And deaf nations are also often blind as they blindly follow their own self-centered thoughts.


Your government certainly does though, regardless of what country you live in (other than the US), since if they did not go by only their own interests, they would not be around today. Of course the US follows its own self-centered thoughts, as does every other nation in existence, because the ideas of any other nation are designed to help that nation only, not the US. They would be stupid countries indeed if they worried about the thoughts of the other countries for only the others' sake. For example, the EU is saying that they don't want a war with Iraq, and that is because they want to see the next 9/11 as soon as possible and as a result, stop the US from growing even larger at least momentarily so that they will have a higher chance at themselves becoming superpowers in the future. And there is nothing wrong with this; every nation by its very nature of existence eventually wants to rule the world, and that obviously involves dissolving the other competing countries. This is simple statecraft, and the nation that masters it comes out on top.

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Nooo, guns are evil, violence is bad! Quick, give everyone flowers before someone yells!


*throws flowers around*

come on everyone, group hug! :D :D
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Kamikaze on February 23, 2003, 11:17:53 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Turnsky
Depends on what flowers you give them ;7


Euphemism? :wtf:

And CP, ya feelin' okay? :lol:

*hugs everyone, making sure an0n and stryke get involved for out of spite*
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 23, 2003, 11:21:45 pm
[is trapped in group hug]

[starts rubbing up against Kamikaze's leg]
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Kamikaze on February 23, 2003, 11:31:37 pm
*rubs a mixture of salt, pepper and chili powder on leg*
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Turnsky on February 23, 2003, 11:35:20 pm
*passes bottle of tabasco sauce to Kamikaze*
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 23, 2003, 11:53:40 pm
Mmm! Leg garnish for braaaains! Omhghoflognofln!
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Tiara on February 24, 2003, 03:20:21 am
Quote
Originally posted by CP5670
Your government certainly does though, regardless of what country you live in (other than the US), since if they did not go by only their own interests, they would not be around today. Of course the US follows its own self-centered thoughts, as does every other nation in existence, because the ideas of any other nation are designed to help that nation only, not the US. They would be stupid countries indeed if they worried about the thoughts of the other countries for only the others' sake. For example, the EU is saying that they don't want a war with Iraq, and that is because they want to see the next 9/11 as soon as possible and as a result, stop the US from growing even larger at least momentarily so that they will have a higher chance at themselves becoming superpowers in the future. And there is nothing wrong with this; every nation by its very nature of existence eventually wants to rule the world, and that obviously involves dissolving the other competing countries. This is simple statecraft, and the nation that masters it comes out on top.


Good point :) Well I think *my government* is smarter then all the other EU governments. :D They are against war but to avoid boycott from the US they allow that the US ships military assets through the Netherlands (Biggest harbor in the world :S, 3rd and 7th biggest airport in Europe, railroads) but they try not to enter the war. Besides having military assests in Turkey and Afganistan :p.

Hehe, our Dutch bats will be everywhere soon and will take over the world! MUHAHAHAHA!

I really can't care less what the Americans do anymore. If they think its right... well go ahead. As long as your don't drag us in with you.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Ulundel on February 24, 2003, 03:23:58 am
*notices the thread*

Uh-oh...onother one.

*backs up slowly*
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Razor on February 24, 2003, 04:59:47 am
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No, you (former Yugoslavia, now Serbia & Montenegro) started to commit an act of Genocide on the Kosovo people. Of course, for a country with a history of ethnic cleansing, it's not entirely surprising that it would be considered 'ok' to slaughter innocent men, women and children.....


Genocide you say? Listen here Aldo, Albanians have killed and forced hunderds of thousonds of Serbs out of Kosovo. By the way, did you know that the Albanian terrorists (calling themselves KLA) slaughtered 100 times more Serb civillians than the number of Albanians that died in the conflict? Of course you didn't know. Your media didn't tell you anything about it because you were taught to hate the Serbs from the start. And a second thing, the special forces were send to Kosovo to deffend Serbian villages, our cultural and historical heritage (monasteries, churches, monuments etc..). Now tell me, what would you UKers or Amers do if you were let's say endangered by someone else in the similar way? Simple you would send your special units (FBI, CIA, National Guard, etc..) to kill them. No?
Why not? You don't respect anyone elses human rights anyway.

By the way, your kill count is thousonds of times greater than our own so I supoose you should be proud of that. Good job lad!
Title: French Jokes
Post by: vyper on February 24, 2003, 05:04:25 am
Here we gooooo :rolleyes:
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Ulundel on February 24, 2003, 05:10:45 am
:sigh:
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Darkage on February 24, 2003, 05:21:16 am
I am surprised that this thread is still open.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Rictor on February 24, 2003, 05:30:17 am
Razor: pusti budalu da misli sta hoce, ako tako hoce da misli to je njegova stvar. Ja i ti znamo da sere ali samo pokusaj to da njemu (i drugim koji isto tako misle) objasnis

Aldo: think what you want to, its your right to do so. You;re not here (HLP) becuase of your political views but because you make kickass ships, and that what I'm going to consider important

Venom: Look man. If you are going to leave HLP dont to it cause of this. Every person (or most people) have a strong bias (a negative one) towards some country or another. Imagine if you had been born in say Libya. You'de never hear the end of it. Theres always someone that has something bad to say about your country. Just learn to live with it and move on. That said, I still think that since this thread is titled "French Jokes" everything that was said within was meant in the spirit of jest.

stop the fussin' an' a feudin'
Title: French Jokes
Post by: HotSnoJ on February 24, 2003, 05:32:46 am
You're off topic people. It is suppose to be about French Jokes not politics.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Darkage on February 24, 2003, 06:02:49 am
Quote
Originally posted by HotSnoJ
You're off topic people. It is suppose to be about French Jokes not politics.



omg you are realy dumb. It seems you think with your arse instead of your brain, if you even have one.


This thread aint funny.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: aldo_14 on February 24, 2003, 06:19:37 am
Quote
Originally posted by Razor


Genocide you say? Listen here Aldo, Albanians have killed and forced hunderds of thousonds of Serbs out of Kosovo. By the way, did you know that the Albanian terrorists (calling themselves KLA) slaughtered 100 times more Serb civillians than the number of Albanians that died in the conflict? Of course you didn't know. Your media didn't tell you anything about it because you were taught to hate the Serbs from the start. And a second thing, the special forces were send to Kosovo to deffend Serbian villages, our cultural and historical heritage (monasteries, churches, monuments etc..). Now tell me, what would you UKers or Amers do if you were let's say endangered by someone else in the similar way? Simple you would send your special units (FBI, CIA, National Guard, etc..) to kill them. No?
Why not? You don't respect anyone elses human rights anyway.

By the way, your kill count is thousonds of times greater than our own so I supoose you should be proud of that. Good job lad!


When the IRA launched campaigns in mainland UK in the 80s (and before), we did not go out to exterminate Catholic Northern Irish.  In fact, the Army was originally sent into N.Ireland to protect the Catholic populaiton from rioting Protestants IIRC.

There is no excuse for genocide.  The Yugoslav army was sent to exterminate a civillian populace - the ultimate soft target - and NATO responded in order to stop that. Whilst the NATO response was underwhelming due to the political need to avoid casualties, it did succeed in stopping this.  Clear evidence of war crimes committed against the Kosova Albanians has been found alreayd, including mass graves.

Now, you're not going to change your opinion, nor am I mine.  So I'll drop this if you drop it, eh?  Past is past and all that - and Yugoslavia isn;t even Yugoslavia anymore.....
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Tiara on February 24, 2003, 06:37:52 am
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Wee?

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

WEE!

*chops off random person's head*
Title: French Jokes
Post by: karajorma on February 24, 2003, 06:38:30 am
Quote
Originally posted by Razor
Genocide you say? Listen here Aldo, Albanians have killed and forced hunderds of thousonds of Serbs out of Kosovo. By the way, did you know that the Albanian terrorists (calling themselves KLA) slaughtered 100 times more Serb civillians than the number of Albanians that died in the conflict? Of course you didn't know. Your media didn't tell you anything about it because you were taught to hate the Serbs from the start. And a second thing, the special forces were send to Kosovo to deffend Serbian villages, our cultural and historical heritage (monasteries, churches, monuments etc..). Now tell me, what would you UKers or Amers do if you were let's say endangered by someone else in the similar way? Simple you would send your special units (FBI, CIA, National Guard, etc..) to kill them. No?
Why not? You don't respect anyone elses human rights anyway.

By the way, your kill count is thousonds of times greater than our own so I supoose you should be proud of that. Good job lad!


Yeah. I`ve heard that the UN has stuffed it up in Kosovo (as per usual) The simple fact is there are very few UN peacekeeping attempts that haven`t seriously messed it up.

That said Serbia only has itself to blame for it's bad image in the west. Your countries leader is currently on trial for war crimes committed in Bosnia. When the west saw that another part of the former Yugoslavia also looked like it would be ethnically cleansed they decided to act quickly rather than let it turn into the mess everyone made in Bosnia.
 Unfortunately the UN peacekeeping effort has protected the ethnic Albanians and not the Serbs in the area. That is a very sad failure on the part of the west but the sound of serbs complaining about ethnic cleasing doesn`t tug on my heart strings very hard considering that in Bosnia (and in Croatia IIRC) the Serbs were doing exactly the same thing to another population.
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Nico on February 24, 2003, 06:46:12 am
"'sits and watches the show, amazed that the thread is still not closed"
mmh, today's lunch was quite good :D
Title: French Jokes
Post by: Styxx on February 24, 2003, 06:52:50 am
If something like this pops up again, I'll dispense some indiscriminate bannings. If I'm feeling like being nice they might even be temporary.