Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Sandwich on April 26, 2003, 06:16:48 am
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Not sure how many of you will get this, but whatevers. :p
[q]Bernie, a young Jewish boy, decided he wanted to be an aeronautical engineer and build airplanes. Over the years he studied hard, went to the best schools, and finally got his degree. It didn't take long before he gained a reputation as the finest aeronautical engineer in all the land, so he decided to start his own company to build jets.
His company was such a hit that the President of the United States called Bernie into his office. "Bernie," the president said, "the President of Israel wants to commission your company to build an advanced jet fighter for his country. You have our approval -- go out and design him the best jet fighter ever made."
Needless to say, Bernie was tremendously excited at this prospect. The entire resources of his company went into building the most advanced jet fighter in history. Everything looked terrific on paper, but when they held the first test flight of the new jet, disaster struck. The wings couldn't take the strain -- they broke clean off of the fuselage! (The test pilot parachuted to safety, thank G~d.)
Bernie was devastated; his company redesigned the jet fighter, but the same thing happened at the next test flight -- the wings broke off again.
Beside himself with worry, Bernie went to his Schul to pray...to ask G~d where he had gone wrong. The rabbi saw Bernie's sadness, and naturally asked him what the matter was. Bernie decided to pour his heart out to the rabbi.
After hearing the problem with the jet fighter, the rabbi put his arm on Bernie's shoulder and told him, "Listen, I know how to solve your problem. All you have to do is drill a row of holes directly above and below where the wing meets the fuselage. If you do this, I absolutely guarantee the wings won't fall off."
Bernie just smiled and thanked the rabbi for his advice.. but the more he thought about it, the more he realized he had nothing to lose. Maybe the rabbi had some holy insight.
So Bernie did exactly what the rabbi told him to do. On the next design of the jet fighter, they drilled a row of holes directly above and below where the wings met the fuselage. And...it worked!! The next test flight went perfectly!
Brimming with joy, Bernie went to the Schul to tell the rabbi that his advice had worked. "Naturally," said the rabbi, "I never doubted it would."
"But Rabbi, how did you know that drilling the holes would prevent the wings from falling off?"
"Bernie," the rabbi intoned, "I'm an old man. I've lived for many, many years and I've celebrated Passover many, many times. And in all those years, not once -- NOT ONCE -- has the matzah broken on the perforation!"[/q]
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:lol: (Though a wee bit long for only one funny part...)
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I've heard the same on only with toilet paper instead of matzah(whatever it is). :)
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Originally posted by Pera
matzah
it's a cracker like thing, with a perforation so you can crack it easier. there kinda nice actually, not to much taste, but nice.
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Originally posted by kasperl
it's a cracker like thing, with a perforation so you can crack it easier. there kinda nice actually, not to much taste, but nice.
Actually, the perforation and other features are traditional. Don't ask why, though, or this will become another religion thread. :p
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Originally posted by Sandwich
Actually, the perforation and other features are traditional. Don't ask why, though, or this will become another religion thread. :p
oh, ok, we just use them as crackers.
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Originally posted by kasperl
oh, ok, we just use them as crackers.
INFIDEL!
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Originally posted by 01010
INFIDEL!
:wtf:
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Originally posted by Sandwich
Don't ask why, though, or this will become another religion thread. :p
but WHY Sandwich? :confused:
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:lol:
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It's so that, in underwater situations, the Matzoh (the amphibious creature "matzohs" are made from) can filter through the water and pick up microscopic planktons.
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Originally posted by Stryke 9
It's so that, in underwater situations, the Matzoh (the amphibious creature "matzohs" are made from) can filter through the water and pick up microscopic planktons.
Couldn't happen. Matzah's so dry, if you stick it underwater, it'll instataneously absorb all evidence of moisture... and then completely fall apart. :p
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(http://www.smiliegenerator.de/s11/smilies-11915.png)
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(http://www.baruchhashem.com/resources/PesachMatzah.jpg)
May all your matzahs be flat matzahs! :p
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Hey, I know that verse! Isaiah 53? :)
I noticed the 'o' in 'The LORD' is blanked out with a ~. Is that the same reason why YHWH/YHVH is written that way?
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Originally posted by J.F.K.
Hey, I know that verse! Isaiah 53? :)
Striped an' pierced, yep. Makes you wonder how the Jews still miss it. ;)
Originally posted by J.F.K.
I noticed the 'o' in 'The LORD' is blanked out with a ~. Is that the same reason why YHWH/YHVH is written that way?
{Explanation mode} The blanking out of 'o' in LORD and God is out of respect - it's something that many Jews and even a nnumber of Christians do. Personally I don't, but it doesn't bother me, and I definitely don't think it's a matter of cruciality in any way. ;)
YHV(W)H is spelled like that because of lack of information. In Hebrew, the big letters you see are the consonants, with the little lines and/or dots below (and sometimes inside) the letters being the vowels. Vowels are usually omitted in modern Hebrew books unless their omission could cause confusion - sort of like a written version of the difference between "male" and "mail" in English.
So in the original Hebrew, the tetragrammatron (sp? - the YHVH "word") was spelled with the Hebrew equivalent of those exact letters.
Now here's the twist: Some Hebrew consonants have various sounds, just like hard and soft "c" or "g" in English. But whereas in English the correct sound of a letter can be gleaned from the vowels in that word (usually), in Hebrew you often are missing the vowels.
And as Murphy's Law (or God, take your pick) would have it, there happen to be 2 of those variable-sound letters in the four-letter YHVH - and to top it all off, both letters are half-vowels anyway (the "Y/J" and the "W/V")! This, by the way, is how the Hebrew name "YESHUA" came to be the Greek "Jesus" - same with "YEHOSHUA" = "Joshua", "YESHAIYAHU" = "Isaiah", etc.
So you have a name that - if one wanted to be as politically (grammatically?) correct as possible - would be written {Y/J}-H-{W/V}-H ("Jehovah", anyone?).
Get it? ;)
{/Explanation mode}
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Originally posted by Sandwich
Striped an' pierced, yep. Makes you wonder how the Jews still miss it. ;)
{Explanation mode} The blanking out of 'o' in LORD and God is out of respect - it's something that many Jews and even a nnumber of Christians do. Personally I don't, but it doesn't bother me, and I definitely don't think it's a matter of cruciality in any way. ;)
YHV(W)H is spelled like that because of lack of information. In Hebrew, the big letters you see are the consonants, with the little lines and/or dots below (and sometimes inside) the letters being the vowels. Vowels are usually omitted in modern Hebrew books unless their omission could cause confusion - sort of like a written version of the difference between "male" and "mail" in English.
So in the original Hebrew, the tetragrammatron (sp? - the YHVH "word") was spelled with the Hebrew equivalent of those exact letters.
Now here's the twist: Some Hebrew consonants have various sounds, just like hard and soft "c" or "g" in English. But whereas in English the correct sound of a letter can be gleaned from the vowels in that word (usually), in Hebrew you often are missing the vowels.
And as Murphy's Law (or God, take your pick) would have it, there happen to be 2 of those variable-sound letters in the four-letter YHVH - and to top it all off, both letters are half-vowels anyway (the "Y/J" and the "W/V")! This, by the way, is how the Hebrew name "YESHUA" came to be the Greek "Jesus" - same with "YEHOSHUA" = "Joshua", "YESHAIYAHU" = "Isaiah", etc.
So you have a name that - if one wanted to be as politically (grammatically?) correct as possible - would be written {Y/J}-H-{W/V}-H ("Jehovah", anyone?).
Get it? ;)
{/Explanation mode}
They say English is the most difficult language to learn?
I think not. I think Hebrew may result in some kind of tongue seizure on my behalf. :)
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Originally posted by 01010
They say English is the most difficult language to learn?
I think not. I think Hebrew may result in some kind of tongue seizure on my behalf. :)
Well, it's a lot "simpler" (note that that is a relative term...) when you don't have to explain transliterated mistakes or misconceptions via the original Hebrew retransliterated back into English. :p
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Originally posted by Sandwich
{Explanation mode} The blanking out of 'o' in LORD and God is out of respect - it's something that many Jews and even a nnumber of Christians do. Personally I don't, but it doesn't bother me, and I definitely don't think it's a matter of cruciality in any way. ;)
YHV(W)H is spelled like that because of lack of information. In Hebrew, the big letters you see are the consonants, with the little lines and/or dots below (and sometimes inside) the letters being the vowels. Vowels are usually omitted in modern Hebrew books unless their omission could cause confusion - sort of like a written version of the difference between "male" and "mail" in English.
So in the original Hebrew, the tetragrammatron (sp? - the YHVH "word") was spelled with the Hebrew equivalent of those exact letters.
Now here's the twist: Some Hebrew consonants have various sounds, just like hard and soft "c" or "g" in English. But whereas in English the correct sound of a letter can be gleaned from the vowels in that word (usually), in Hebrew you often are missing the vowels.
And as Murphy's Law (or God, take your pick) would have it, there happen to be 2 of those variable-sound letters in the four-letter YHVH - and to top it all off, both letters are half-vowels anyway (the "Y/J" and the "W/V")! This, by the way, is how the Hebrew name "YESHUA" came to be the Greek "Jesus" - same with "YEHOSHUA" = "Joshua", "YESHAIYAHU" = "Isaiah", etc.
So you have a name that - if one wanted to be as politically (grammatically?) correct as possible - would be written {Y/J}-H-{W/V}-H ("Jehovah", anyone?).
Get it? ;)
{/Explanation mode}
Hey, that explains a lot... thanks. :nod: Well, I guess, if we (Jesus is my Lord and Saviour too :)) believe in a sovereign God, then He must have wanted it this way for now. I'll ask Him when I get there. ;)