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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Nuclear1 on April 26, 2003, 07:03:33 pm

Title: New element discovered
Post by: Nuclear1 on April 26, 2003, 07:03:33 pm
Quote
                         A major research institution has recently announced the
                         discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to
                         science. The new element has been tentatively named
                         Governmentium.

                         Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75
                         deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass
                         of 312.

                         These 312 particles are held together by forces called
                         morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-
                         like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no
                         electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it
                         impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. The addition of a
                         minute amount of governmentium will slow normally rapid reactions
                         100-fold.

                         Governmentium has a half-life of 3 years; it does not
                         decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
                         portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
                         exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass actually increases over
                         time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to
                         become neutrons, forming isodopes.

                         
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate
that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
Title: New element discovered
Post by: Zeronet on April 26, 2003, 07:12:18 pm
I reckon, this is the 3rd topic devoted to this joke.
Title: New element discovered
Post by: Falcon X on April 26, 2003, 07:18:10 pm
Yup but it is still good.
Title: New element discovered
Post by: karajorma on April 26, 2003, 07:22:27 pm
Oddly enough I had managed to miss this one. No great loss though. Even as Chemistry jokes go this is one of the weaker ones.
Title: New element discovered
Post by: Knight Templar on April 26, 2003, 07:48:05 pm
ah yes, here we go.

:blah:



that's better..