Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Sandwich on June 26, 2003, 06:16:51 pm
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...they actually come up with the stuff below. Su, I got this forwarded to me by Dave, that law school student we hung out with last year.
[q]
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These are from a book titled "Disorder in the Court" and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters--who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Some are excellent.
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Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
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Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
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Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
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Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
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Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
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Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
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Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
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Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
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Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
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Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
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Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 P.M.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
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Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law [/q]
The last one is (no offense) an instant classic. :D
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:lol: this stuff is great :yes:
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:lol: thanks sandy, you just made my morning:)
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:lol:
priceless.:yes:
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:D love it
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:lol: excellent :D
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:lol:
Funniest thing I've read all day.
Mind you, I've inly been up for about half an hour....
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Funniest thing I've read all day. Mind you, I've only been up 12 hours watching a small child attack a Jack Russel. Wait.....
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lol, hilarious :lol:
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I saw this one years ago but yes it is brilliant :)
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:lol: This is great, I'm passing it onto one of my friends thinking of going into law. :D
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I believe I've read those somewhere before....
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Originally posted by Grey Wolf 2009
I believe I've read those somewhere before....
No! Really?! *gasp* How could that be true????!?
[q]These are from a book titled "Disorder in the Court"...[/q]
:rolleyes:
;)
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No! Really?! *gasp* How could that be true????!?
No offence but they've probably being going around longer than the book, since I've also seen them (somewhere I forget not). And no it was not in a book.
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Excellent! That's a great way to wake up in the morning :)
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Originally posted by Venom
:lol: excellent :D
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these are great!
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Fantastic....well done!
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Originally posted by Tar-Palantir
No offence but they've probably being going around longer than the book, since I've also seen them (somewhere I forget not). And no it was not in a book.
That's what I meant.
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:lol: really hilarious... great :D