Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Woolie Wool on September 16, 2003, 03:24:41 pm
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...then what would YOU do as president? This is really a place to put up some of your political views.
I'd:
[size=0]-fake a terrorist attack, declare a state of emergency, and make myself dictator for life. What 2008 election?[/size]
-dismantle the welfare state except for disabled people. Get a job, losers.
-Mine the border with Mexico. Illegals that don't go boom will be deported.
-ask Congress to repeal the Brady Bill.
-kill the V-22 Osprey helicopter-plane. It's sucking our tax money down the ****hole.
-give the Navy's enlisted men a uniform they won't be embarassed to wear.
-Stay in Iraq until the situation is stable or until 20 years have passed since initial occupation (whichever comes first). If they can't stabilize in 20 years, there's no hope for them.
-Start a mass recruitment program
-slash the Social Security budget and raise the minimum age to 85. The old people aren't dying fast enough for Social Security to work well.
-Invade Cuba
-Catch Osama (if possible) and broadcast his torture and execution on national television:drevil:
-Do the same to Saddam Hussein
-set up a missile defense shield
-Institute a 72% income tax for people making over $2 million a year (sorry Donald Trump) and an 80% tax for people making over $10 million a year. Other tax brackets will be unaffected or their income taxes reduced
-Slash gasoline taxes
-Use the minefield as justification to reduce the anti-drug budget
-Reduce or cut off foreign aid to certain African countries. You can't throw money at a country where the government starves its own people (Somalia, anyone?) and hope to curb famine there
EDIT: Wrong forum! What the hell is wrong with me today?
Moved. // Sandwich
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I would start invading countries left and right and then fly over them in a helocopter with a loudspeaker proclaiming with a ****ty Russian accent that America is God and that nonbelievers will be sacrificed to the bud god.
All that after I make all drugs legal and make herion use mandatory for all minors enrolled in public school.
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Hehe, I wouldn't go that far.
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I'd... no wait. No I wouldn't...
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Originally posted by Raa Tor'h
I'd... no wait. No I wouldn't...
You wouldn't what?
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Originally posted by Woolie Wool
...then what would YOU do as president? This is really a place to put up some of your political views.
I'd:
[size=0]
-give the Navy's enlisted men a uniform they won't be embarassed to wear.
Back the fsck off my uniforms you ignorant civilian gimp.
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Lets try and be nice if our political views don't exactly match - and remember, this thread is about what we'd do, not what Bush should be doing or whatever.
Thanks :)
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1) All attractive Virgins would have to go through my personal inspection before being released into the wild.
2) I'd execute Woolie Wool. With a dildo.
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Originally posted by Woolie Wool
You wouldn't what?
Well... Actually, no... That's not it...
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Originally posted by Knight Templar
2) I'd execute Woolie Wool. With a dildo.
Ever seen Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels?
Wait, who am I talking to? Of cours you have. ;)
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I'd.... hmm.... I don't know: Try to make it so there's more than 2 parties? And make a precedent that the president will actually talk to at least the House and Senate, and preferably the nation as a whole, as opposed to sending a mouthpiece?
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Originally posted by Knight Templar
1) All attractive Virgins would have to go through my personal inspection before being released into the wild.
2) I'd execute Woolie Wool. With a dildo.
1) yeah you'd like that wouldn't you... being a virgin yourself ;) :D
2) heeey, have you heard of the japanese penis festival?!
and finally (in reply to thread title)
*... clap your hands (clap clap)*
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hmm now you have your plans you just need to get rif of congress now start making those plans
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Well sure Stealth, if your parents don't count for anything sexually, your mommy being my first and all..
uninspired, I know. Viva la Marx.
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so you admit that other than with my mother, you're still a virgin :D
EDIT: OK OK i see where this is going ;)
I give...if you ever become president you can make all 18 yr old virgins pass through your inspection before going out into the world :D
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1. Turn the world to glass and steam.
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Look through all the top secret files I could get my hands on. :drevil:
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Originally posted by Stealth
so you admit that other than with my mother, you're still a virgin :D
EDIT: OK OK i see where this is going ;)
I give...if you ever become president you can make all 18 yr old virgins pass through your inspection before going out into the world :D
Well yeah, I'm only 12. It's the best I could get.
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Originally posted by Woolie Wool
...then what would YOU do as president? This is really a place to put up some of your political views.
Politics, bah. But this is a good what-if thread. Following the format of the original poster (though I'd never want to become a 'president' of a country, too much paper work)
-Codified national health care standards for HMOs and a base national health care plan
-Income taxes increase proportionally higher for the top 10% incomes in the US, and are similarly decreased for the bottom 10%. This is at a rate to increase with inflation.
-Increase to the public education budget from preschool to college level.
-Campaign reform to disallow monetary donations. All candidates would be allocated awareness campaign funding from the government at a fixed rate to increase with inflation.
-Driving under the influence of alcohol becomes a felony
-Drinking age is lowered to the age of majority
-Dismiss the trade embargo on Cuba
-Full open border with Canada
-Dismiss the US selective service act
-Disband the Department of Homeland Security
-Cooperate with United Nations for an international antiterrorist group
-International programs in the middle east for middle and upper middle class families
-Withdraw US military support with Israel, except for garrisons comparable with those in a NATO nation
-Increased space program budget for an international Mars mission
-Reform international treaties regarding the use of nuclear devices in space for the purpose of the Mars mission
-Turn low earth orbit operations solely to the private sector while NASA focuses on experimental areospace craft, deep space probes, and deep space manned missions
Okay, the overall point of this seeming mess:
*Strengthen the middle class to be able to be more active in the government.
*Citizens of the US should have all rights entitled therein at the age of majority, period
*As proven by every conflict since Vietnam, the US has a standing army of volunteers who are capable of fighting modern wars. The selective service act is an anachronism
*Terrorism is a threat to civilization and it is from educated men and women, the current approach taken will only breed more, wasteful, violence
*An active space program is necessary for the survival of humanity, everything else is secondary to establishing the long-term capacity to sustain humanity off of its homeworld
*By removing the embrago on Cuba they like China will become capitalist far more quickly. Plus it'll allow for cheap vacations for US citizens like Canadians can already get :)
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I'd get terribly confused as to how I achieved the status of US president in the first place, then I'd sit in the corner, and hum things.
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I'd send a large company of navy SEALS to find a fez for Petrarch
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Assuming no radical change to the structure of the state is allowed:
-Nationalise key industries (defence contractors, utilities, state education related (exam boards etc.).
-Relax intellectual property laws
-Dismiss Cuban blockade and hand over currently active ultra right wing paramilitary rebel members to them.
-Tax harmonisation across the country (if it's not already the case).
-Full federal control of all schoolboards
-Fire every member of school boards that don't unanimously reject creationism and abstinence propaganda. Plus introduce education informing students of the dangers of damaging heath advice from religious institutions.
-Get rid of the pledge, citizenship lessons, singing to a flag, and all other schemes that promote chauvinistic nationalism.
-Free college/university tuition (as in Europe with no adverse effects on economy).
-Tighten hate laws to allow a reasonable punishment for homophobia, xenophobia (Enough to get Joseph Farah, Ann Coulter and Pat Robertson in the slammer for the forseeable future).
-Allow time for prayer in schools but in a way so that students aren't pressurised one way or another. (Something like a cubicle system)
-More power to trade unions.
-Emphasise freedom from religion rather than freedom of it and allow socialservices to confiscate children of fundamentalist parents who subject childeren to their beliefs.
-Ban circumcision for the under 18s.
-Remove any remaining rights for states to set own laws (one big chauvinistic country is bad enough without 50+ of them). The status quo gives southern states a licence to barbarity. This will include a harmonisation of all criminal law.
-Remove stupidly harsh sentencing for soft drugs (whether they remain illegal or not I'm neutral on).
-Hand over war criminals to the Hague or country's they've perpetrated crimes against.
-Invest government money into more deprived areas.
-Lower drinking age to 18 for anything over 5%, 16 for anything below.
-Ban private election campaign funding.
-Allow limited mass immigration with full citizenship privileges but disperse them throughout the country so that social problems aren't created in areas where large numbers accumulate.
-Tax hell out of religious institutions who's sole purpose is to make a profit (Church of scientology, 700 club etc.)
-Conscribe all repeat offening juvinile petty criminals instead of putting them in jail where they learn bad habits and become unemployable.
-Tighten dicipline in prisons (the status quo is for more barbaric as a despotic hierarchy develops which subjects its subjects to violence and turns prisons into a training ground for thugs.) whilst being careful to avoid brutalizing and introduce compulsory valuable education (not the pseudo education that exists in some) courses in maths and english along with another of their choice that leads to qualifications at the end. An idea would also be to not let them out until they complete them.
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Press the big red button that says "DO NOT PRESS"
Yeah.
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I'd cede the entire nation to Australia.
The national benefits for your country would be incredible.
All women would increase in hotness by at least 30%
National IQ would increase by at least 30%
All sports teams would awaken with their skills increased vy about, oh, 30% from the prvious night.
You'd actually learn to spell colour.
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So an englishman goes to his doctor and says 'I want to become an american. Not just an englishman living in America but a genuine red-white-and-blue american.' The doctor sends the guy to a surgeon who has pioneered a risky experimental procedure.
'Well I can make you an american' says the surgeon, 'but in the process I'll have to remove 50% of your brain'. The guy thinks for a moment and agrees.
Waking up after the operation, the guy sees the surgeon standing beside his bed. 'Ah' says the doc 'I'm afraid the procedure went a bit wrong. I accidentally removed 95% of your brain.'
The guy says 'strewth mate!'
ownt :D
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I still think my idea is the best :p
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Originally posted by Ace
Politics, bah. But this is a good what-if thread. Following the format of the original poster (though I'd never want to become a 'president' of a country, too much paper work)
-Codified national health care standards for HMOs and a base national health care plan
-Income taxes increase proportionally higher for the top 10% incomes in the US, and are similarly decreased for the bottom 10%. This is at a rate to increase with inflation.
-Increase to the public education budget from preschool to college level.
-Campaign reform to disallow monetary donations. All candidates would be allocated awareness campaign funding from the government at a fixed rate to increase with inflation.
-Driving under the influence of alcohol becomes a felony
-Drinking age is lowered to the age of majority
-Dismiss the trade embargo on Cuba
-Full open border with Canada
-Dismiss the US selective service act
-Disband the Department of Homeland Security
-Cooperate with United Nations for an international antiterrorist group
-International programs in the middle east for middle and upper middle class families
-Withdraw US military support with Israel, except for garrisons comparable with those in a NATO nation
-Increased space program budget for an international Mars mission
-Reform international treaties regarding the use of nuclear devices in space for the purpose of the Mars mission
-Turn low earth orbit operations solely to the private sector while NASA focuses on experimental areospace craft, deep space probes, and deep space manned missions
Okay, the overall point of this seeming mess:
*Strengthen the middle class to be able to be more active in the government.
*Citizens of the US should have all rights entitled therein at the age of majority, period
*As proven by every conflict since Vietnam, the US has a standing army of volunteers who are capable of fighting modern wars. The selective service act is an anachronism
*Terrorism is a threat to civilization and it is from educated men and women, the current approach taken will only breed more, wasteful, violence
*An active space program is necessary for the survival of humanity, everything else is secondary to establishing the long-term capacity to sustain humanity off of its homeworld
*By removing the embrago on Cuba they like China will become capitalist far more quickly. Plus it'll allow for cheap vacations for US citizens like Canadians can already get :)
OK, ditch my plans for being president. I'm voting for Ace.
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If I were president.
1) I'd tell everyone who killed Kennedy. But I'd do it as a national competition with a prize going to the person who get the closest. That way the people who've wasted half their lives trying to figure it out could win something for it.
2) I would institute a Running Man style program for drunk drivers. Anybody caught on the roads who was twice over the legal limit would be forced to drink until his blood alcohol level was equal to that when he was caught and then drive around an arena filled with other similarly doped up drivers. Anyone who survives gets a prison sentance. Guards would be placed in towers overlooking the spectacle with orders to shoot anyone they felt wasn't driving quickly enough.
3) Anyone who injures a pedestrian or driver in another car while drunk driving has to do the same task but with a speed style bomb that goes off if they slow down. Blindfolded
4) Religious fanatics would be forced to live under there own religions rules, laws and punishments in addition to those of the country. If you're religious you shouldn't be breaking the law anyway so you shouldn't mind signing up to a system where you suffer both punishments if you steal or kill.
5) I would distribute condoms to all 10 years olds with a booklet on making balloon animals thus preserving the innocence of those who don't know they have another use while protecting those who do.
6) People against animal testing in the research of terminal diseases would be denied the use of any drugs the research produced. Got cancer? Here's an asprin.
7) Homeopaths would be given their nutition homepathically i.e one drop of essencial amino acids, proteins and carbohydrates for every litre of water they drink.
8) Psychics would be force to play russian roulette once a year to cut down on the frauds (I predict a 100% reduction).
9) I would begin research into wireheading (the process of using electrical current to stimulate the pleasure centres of the brain). All drug addicts would be able to get the result for free thus ending the war on drugs.
10) Ban all forms of private health care or education. Lets see how long the rich oppose a tax increase once they have to wait 8 hours to see a doctor for minor injuries.
[Bill Hicks] My hat is now in the political ring :D [/Bill Hicks]
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Originally posted by Knight Templar
Well yeah, I'm only 12. It's the best I could get.
yeah well judging by your avatar in other forums, i'd have thought you'd lost your virginity to a guy, as opposed to a girl.
:) :D
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Moooooooooooving swiftly on......
Ok, I'd make bloody sure I didn't tell the people what they wanted and who they hated and leave them to make up their own minds :D
Flipside :D
Gotta be quick before this thread gets closed.....
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Some more of my manifesto :)
11) Organic food would be banned and people who buy it forced to take a class explaining why organic food is
a) Not pesticide or herbicide free (in fact it often uses more of both)
b) Not better for the enviroment in any way (in fact worse for it in several ways)
c) Actually increases your chance of contracting food poisoning
d) Practically indistinguishable in taste from food grown using modern agricultural methods.
12) Bully MicroSoft the way it has bullied the rest of the computer industry for the last decade.
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Making balloon animals out of condoms wouldn't work too well. Pretty damn messy too.
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i'll read this when i'll have some spare time.
expect mass bombardment on Bush's international policy
:)
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Originally posted by karajorma
If I were president.
1) I'd tell everyone who killed Kennedy. But I'd do it as a national competition with a prize going to the person who get the closest. That way the people who've wasted half their lives trying to figure it out could win something for it.
2) I would institute a Running Man style program for drunk drivers. Anybody caught on the roads who was twice over the legal limit would be forced to drink until his blood alcohol level was equal to that when he was caught and then drive around an arena filled with other similarly doped up drivers. Anyone who survives gets a prison sentance. Guards would be placed in towers overlooking the spectacle with orders to shoot anyone they felt wasn't driving quickly enough.
3) Anyone who injures a pedestrian or driver in another car while drunk driving has to do the same task but with a speed style bomb that goes off if they slow down. Blindfolded
4) Religious fanatics would be forced to live under there own religions rules, laws and punishments in addition to those of the country. If you're religious you shouldn't be breaking the law anyway so you shouldn't mind signing up to a system where you suffer both punishments if you steal or kill.
5) I would distribute condoms to all 10 years olds with a booklet on making balloon animals thus preserving the innocence of those who don't know they have another use while protecting those who do.
6) People against animal testing in the research of terminal diseases would be denied the use of any drugs the research produced. Got cancer? Here's an asprin.
7) Homeopaths would be given their nutition homepathically i.e one drop of essencial amino acids, proteins and carbohydrates for every litre of water they drink.
8) Psychics would be force to play russian roulette once a year to cut down on the frauds (I predict a 100% reduction).
9) I would begin research into wireheading (the process of using electrical current to stimulate the pleasure centres of the brain). All drug addicts would be able to get the result for free thus ending the war on drugs.
10) Ban all forms of private health care or education. Lets see how long the rich oppose a tax increase once they have to wait 8 hours to see a doctor for minor injuries.
[Bill Hicks] My hat is now in the political ring :D [/Bill Hicks]
I like those except for #5 and #10.
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Originally posted by karajorma
Some more of my manifesto :)
11) Organic food would be banned and people who buy it forced to take a class explaining why organic food is
a) Not pesticide or herbicide free (in fact it often uses more of both)
b) Not better for the enviroment in any way (in fact worse for it in several ways)
c) Actually increases your chance of contracting food poisoning
d) Practically indistinguishable in taste from food grown using modern agricultural methods.
12) Bully MicroSoft the way it has bullied the rest of the computer industry for the last decade.
Very good ideas. Time to teach MicroDicks a lesson.:devil:
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Originally posted by 01010
Making balloon animals out of condoms wouldn't work too well. Pretty damn messy too.
Maybe but they make great water balloons. The kids would soon figure that one out. :D
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Right, here goes:
1: -----
Actually, there are too many problems with the whole bloody world to say how to make it all better (America is at least partially responsible for most of them), and I've started typing this four times now, so rather than try and lay out my perfect plan, I'm just gonna say this:
Bastards. F**king arrogant, bigoted, self-obsessed, meddling, gullible, greedy, bloody-minded, pompous, power-hungry, zealous, pathetic bastards. I pity the American people, because they are, quite simply, doomed. They are told every single day that they live in the best, the finest, the most important country on the planet, that they have it better than anyone else, and that their best interests are being protected when yet another country is infiltrated, warped and corrupted to the will of the corporate elite. That theirs is a land of freedom, wealth and good. And yet where is the evidence of this? The stinking rich control everything, and twist it to their own advantage, so that they may line their already-stuffed pockets with yet more money, while the poor and down-trodden masses get even poorer and are stamped into the dirt in return.
It all comes down to one thing - money. Get rid of that, and the world will be a much better, friendlier place. Accomplish that, and we could step off the dark road into oblivion that we started on with Hiroshima and the rise of Capitalism.
I'll leave you with that. I know I'm not very good at writing this kind of thing, but we all know it's the true state of things. Have a think about it. :blah:
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I was going to make a nice list there...but then Ace had to come along and steal it all away. Oh and I guess part of the problem is that I'd be Canadian...and you can't be born in a different country and serve as president.
Ace is suggesting exactly the same things I keep yelling at the TV in hopes that some of the candidates will hear me. Unfortunately, nobody has that good of a microphone yet and there isn't a two way TV yet...YET...
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-execute the RIAA execs on TV. death by 120mm tank shell
-...And Justice for All is the new national anthem. Its 10 minutes long, and would make for a hell of an opening for a sporting event
-encourage any measure that removes dependence on middle east oil
-really fat people are forced to ride bicycles to generate power
-force the NFL to hold the Superbowl in the northern cities (Green Bay, Chicago, Cleveland, New York). remember, its not really football unless its 20 below and snowing.
-Prevent stupid coverege of celebrities in general. I want to see how good of a job im doing on the news
-surprisingly, i'd write more, but woolie took my stuff about welfart and illegals
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Originally posted by PhReAk
-execute the RIAA execs on TV. death by 120mm tank shell
-...And Justice for All is the new national anthem. Its 10 minutes long, and would make for a hell of an opening for a sporting event
yep, especially with ...And Justice for All being the national anthem.:D
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Crap, double post.
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and has anyone noticed how Bush is always saying "nucular" instead of "nuclear"?
And no one on his Cabinet has the guts to tell him that he's saying it wrong :p ;)
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Originally posted by Stealth
yeah well judging by your avatar in other forums, i'd have thought you'd lost your virginity to a guy, as opposed to a girl.
:) :D
Is there something about your mom I don't know?
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Originally posted by Knight Templar
Is there something about your mom I don't know?
oooooh damn :D :D
cold. i must admit, your arguments and comebacks are getting better :yes: :)
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As is your dad's sex...
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Originally posted by Knight Templar
As is your dad's sex...
so you are homosexual... i knew it!
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You do know you were an accident, right?
hehe, now I remember why this was started in the first place...
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how's junior high going?
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I had sexual education today for the first time. It was funny. He gave us water ballons.
What's wrong with the Pledge of Allegience? I always thought it was the tards' who made a big complaint about honouring their country who were wrong..
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well here in Texas (:rolleyes:) we have to do the TEXAS pledge too, as well as a MINUTE of silence every day :ick :doubt: :wtf: :blah:
and what's hilarious is during the minute of silence, most asians start doing Tai Chi and stuff... other kids start praying, some just sleep (like me... shit), others "meditate"... it's crazy
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Originally posted by Stealth
well here in Texas ( :rolleyes: ) we have to do the TEXAS pledge too, as well as a MINUTE of silence every day :ick :doubt: :wtf: :blah:
:lol: We've had to start doing that too, except we just now got some Texas flags, up until now a few teachers had pictures of Texas flags taped to the dry erase boards but that was it, pretty funny IMO.
Oh, and if I were president I would start nuking stuff just for fun :drevil:
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Originally posted by Stealth
well here in Texas ( :rolleyes: ) we have to do the TEXAS pledge too, as well as a MINUTE of silence every day :ick :doubt: :wtf: :blah:
and what's hilarious is during the minute of silence, most asians start doing Tai Chi and stuff... other kids start praying, some just sleep (like me... shit), others "meditate"... it's crazy
It´s the diversity here that makes this country so great. :D
Since I was born in Argentina and not in the USA, I can´t ever become president, so I never thought about what I would do if I ever became President, but here are a couple of things I just came up with on the fly:
1) Nuke Saudi Arabia. If those intolerant, fanatical schmucks are so intent on playing us up one side and down the other in the war on terror and are so eager to meet Allah, lets send them on their way to Paradise. (It would also serve the cause of irony to incidentally turn their country, which they call a "desert paradise," into a glass-encrusted hell.)
2) Nuke Pakistan for same reason as Saudi Arabia
3) Dramatically increase funding on cold fusion research and other alternative fuel sources, thereby mitigating the loss of the oil fields resulting from suggestion 1
4) Strongly suggest to Israel to take the following actions: (a)have Yasser Arafat captured, stripped naked and tied to a post in the middle of Jerusalem; (b) have volunteers from Mossad use several dildos of varying materials, ranging from stainless steel to concrete to white oak to permanently compromise Mr. Arafat´s anal integrity; (3) Also, as Mr. Arafat´s anal integrity was being compromised in said manner, an Israeli public official would read aloud the many occasions of opportunity over the past 40 years that Arafat had to make peace with Israel and form a Palestinian state but had refused to take advantage of; (4) Furthermore, I´d suggest that Israel also invite the Al-Jazeera network to videotape this public display and transmit it throughout "Palestine" and the rest of the Middle East. (If those morons actually transmitted that the Israelis were responsible for 9/11, they´ll transmit anything.)
5) Upon their respective captures, do the exact same thing to Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, but from the steps of the White House instead of Jerusalem, recorded by all national networks (including CNN) instead of just Al-Jazeera and transmitted worldwide instead of just the Middle East. (Man, what a propaganda coup that would be! :D )
But all that is just me. :shrugs:
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I remember that pledge thing, but in high school it seemed that when they said out the stuff during the announcements, half the class did nothing, so I did the same. :D
Anyway, pretty much everything that Su-tehp said for me along with many of the things Woolie and Karajorma posted, and most importantly, I would completely revamp the math curricula in schools with my special version to make future generations consist of math nerds like myself. ;7
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Su-tehp: for someone born outside the US, you're really giving in to the whole mentality.
Oh, and, I'de vote for Ace :yes: :yes:
As for the American elections, they're a joke. One of the candidates who is being touted as the "antiwar guy" is a 4-star general, who has led a campaign against a foreign nation. Guess which? Seriously, how can anyone even consider him to be antiwar? or pro-peace. or a rational, compassionate human being.
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Well I did write something in reply to Rictor's post, but then I read his rant about this bloke and decided that I'd probably only get drawn in to an argument that I couldn't be arsed with. So I'm going to have a curry instead.
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Su: wow, didn't know you had it in you. :)
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hurumph hurumph hurumph
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Originally posted by Rictor
Su-tehp: for someone born outside the US, you're really giving in to the whole mentality.
Agree with you there. Nuking a country which has nuclear weapons itself is the height of stupidity. The result would be that in revenge the Pakistani's would smuggle a nuke into America and get some well deserved revenge. Not to mention that there is a sizable Pakistani population in the UK your only remaining ally.
Sounds like the typical responce I'd expect from an American president. Make the choices most likely to turn America into the most hated nation on Earth and carry them out.
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If we're getting on to the subject of how the world hates America, I'm going to mention that the other day I was watching a documentary which compared American influence around the world to that of the Roman Empire. It demonstrated that ancient people feared and yet greatly envied Rome and wanted the perks of Roman culture without necessarily actually living under Roman rule. The parallels, I think, are obvious :nod:
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[color=66ff00]Found this whilst surfing around:
(http://www.3dap.com/hlp/staff/maeglamor/bush.jpg)
'nuff said.
[/color]
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I dunno, I like bush.
Crap, wrong bush, again.
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Originally posted by Su-tehp
It´s the diversity here that makes this country so great. :D
Since I was born in Argentina and not in the USA, I can´t ever become president, so I never thought about what I would do if I ever became President, but here are a couple of things I just came up with on the fly:
1) Nuke Saudi Arabia. If those intolerant, fanatical schmucks are so intent on playing us up one side and down the other in the war on terror and are so eager to meet Allah, lets send them on their way to Paradise. (It would also serve the cause of irony to incidentally turn their country, which they call a "desert paradise," into a glass-encrusted hell.)
2) Nuke Pakistan for same reason as Saudi Arabia
3) Dramatically increase funding on cold fusion research and other alternative fuel sources, thereby mitigating the loss of the oil fields resulting from suggestion 1
4) Strongly suggest to Israel to take the following actions: (a)have Yasser Arafat captured, stripped naked and tied to a post in the middle of Jerusalem; (b) have volunteers from Mossad use several dildos of varying materials, ranging from stainless steel to concrete to white oak to permanently compromise Mr. Arafat´s anal integrity; (3) Also, as Mr. Arafat´s anal integrity was being compromised in said manner, an Israeli public official would read aloud the many occasions of opportunity over the past 40 years that Arafat had to make peace with Israel and form a Palestinian state but had refused to take advantage of; (4) Furthermore, I´d suggest that Israel also invite the Al-Jazeera network to videotape this public display and transmit it throughout "Palestine" and the rest of the Middle East. (If those morons actually transmitted that the Israelis were responsible for 9/11, they´ll transmit anything.)
5) Upon their respective captures, do the exact same thing to Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, but from the steps of the White House instead of Jerusalem, recorded by all national networks (including CNN) instead of just Al-Jazeera and transmitted worldwide instead of just the Middle East. (Man, what a propaganda coup that would be! :D )
But all that is just me. :shrugs:
The nuke parts are stupid, but I like the idea of having Arafat, Hussein, and bin Laden ass-raped to death on mational television.:D
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Originally posted by Maeglamor
[color=66ff00]Found this whilst surfing around:
(http://www.3dap.com/hlp/staff/maeglamor/bush.jpg)
'nuff said.
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Originally posted by Kalfireth
Lets try and be nice if our political views don't exactly match - and remember, this thread is about what we'd do, not what Bush should be doing or whatever.
Thanks :)
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And people don't like serial double-posters either, what's your point?
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Ok, I've stayed out of this till now, since it's a flame waiting to happen, but what's all this 'jealous of America' crap?
I live in England and I'm pretty fond of America and Americans, even if their establishment is far too influenced by religion to be safe. I must admit, I take exception at being told the reason most of the world are annoyed at America is because they are jealous though. First of all, I'd like to know, exactly what are we jealous of? Your long and varied history? The humane way you treated the Natives? England is no better, I admit, but at least when we had a huge army and were being pillocks on a global scale, we never accused people of being jealous!
I think you will find that the reason some people find America a source of dislike is because Americans assume that people ARE jealous of them. If people do feel this way, why is there so much resentment at attempts to push an American way of life onto people in the Middle East?
Ok, now that's off my chest :D
Flipside :D
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Originally posted by PhReAk
Su: wow, didn't know you had it in you. :)
Thanks, Phreaky, I appreciate that. :)
Originally posted by Woolie Wool
The nuke parts are stupid, but I like the idea of having Arafat, Hussein, and bin Laden ass-raped to death on mational television.:D
My nuke rants were said in a tongue-in-cheek manner, but considering how pissed I am at "allies" who say they´ll stand with us then provide assistance to Osama bin Laden, it´s probably not a surprise that many peeps here didn´t see that I tried (but failed) to make a joke of this. My bad.
As for my comments about Arafat, Hussein and bin Laden, there is an addendum. Hussein and bin Laden would by necessity have to be ass-raped to death; they´re enemies of the USA who are at war with us. Their "death by goombah," to borrow the punchline of an ass-rape joke, is obviously a forgone conclusion. :D
But Arafat would NOT get ass-raped to death; it´d far better to leave him alive and here´s why: Once his anal integrity was suffiently compromised, he would be forced to walk back to Ramallah butt-naked, with Israelis throwing nothing but bacon at him all the way back, with the entire Israeli media in attendance. (Since Arafat is so eager to get his name in the history books, we could call this ass-rape "the Arafat Compromise," for obvious reasons. As for the bacon, Muslims believe that pig flesh is so dirty and unclean, any Muslim who allows his flesh to touch pig flesh, whether intentionally or not, will be denied entry into Paradise.) And afterwards, any time the palestinian militants staged another suicide bombing, instead of military retaliation, Israel could just retransmit the Arafat Compromise worldwide to humiliate the Palestinians again.
Ain´t I a stinker? :D
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I'd be with you if you suggested doing the same to Ariel Sharon. The two are as bad as each other.
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Originally posted by Su-tehp
*snip*
su, youre doing it wrong. youre supposed to tie a pig to his chest and blow him up infront of his ramallah compound. ;)
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Originally posted by PhReAk
Su, youre doing it wrong. youre supposed to tie a pig to his chest and blow him up infront of his ramallah compound. ;)
I dunno, it´s kinda hard to find an explosive pig...:wtf:
...but your point is taken. :D
BTW, has Sandwich seen my posts here on this thread? I want to see his comments on my thoughts of presidential action. (I already know that Israel is a sovereign country and that all the above about Arafat would only be a suggested recommendation to Israel from its great friend America, but I still want to know what Sandy thinks of all this. :D
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Get back on topic PLEASE! This is about what YOU would do as President, not about bashing Bush. This has NOTHING TO DO WITH DUBYA.
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Originally posted by Su-tehp
*snip*
Ain´t I a stinker? :D
*doubles over and collapses*
:lol::lol:
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Ironically, though many people here complain about oppression and violence, I notice many of your virtual governments are rather oppressive and violent themselves. :D :p
oh, and if I was prez, I'd stick federal money into a DNA-altering virus that'll make humans a parallel-processing, shared-memory, telepathic, supershade of teal.
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Originally posted by Flipside
Ok, I've stayed out of this till now, since it's a flame waiting to happen, but what's all this 'jealous of America' crap?
I live in England and I'm pretty fond of America and Americans, even if their establishment is far too influenced by religion to be safe. I must admit, I take exception at being told the reason most of the world are annoyed at America is because they are jealous though. First of all, I'd like to know, exactly what are we jealous of? Your long and varied history? The humane way you treated the Natives? England is no better, I admit, but at least when we had a huge army and were being pillocks on a global scale, we never accused people of being jealous!
I think you will find that the reason some people find America a source of dislike is because Americans assume that people ARE jealous of them. If people do feel this way, why is there so much resentment at attempts to push an American way of life onto people in the Middle East?
Ok, now that's off my chest :D
Flipside :D
To sum it up, the world loves to hate us, and this is the most reasonable answer we can come up with without butchering our egos...
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Originally posted by Knight Templar
To sum it up, the world loves to hate us, and this is the most reasonable answer we can come up with without butchering our egos...
Being the only superpower in the world doesn't help at all, and acting as the worlds policemen (though the us Brits did it for years under imperial rule) also won't endear you to the worlds population either, but I do have a fondness for (some) Americans and Australians.
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would they be female by any chance? ;7
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I'm from Hungary and I have to agree with most of what Topgun and Ace said.
I'm from a leftern (or as some would say communist family) who value socialist ideals as well as some liberal thoughts.
Personally I think that no radical movement will ever lead to anything good.
Something basicly new on the other hand - like the GREENs used to be around the '70 - could make a difference.
America is way over its head in terms of justification and its general opinion of good and bad or shall I say ethics in general.
That's the danger when an entire population entrusted with most of the world's resources (it's an arguable fact, yet you have the most easily available ores and the most advanced industry to use it) is brought up in an environment that promotes unity over opinion and justice over reason; while justifying the whole concept with freedom and individualism which seems quite a paradoxon.
Ethics is not something that can be refered to as a uniformal standard. It's a human thing and just like everything else it varies around the globe as humans do.
So even if you believe in your ethics, it still doesn't allow you to judge others. I don't disagree with those who would like to make basic human rights accepted around the world. I'm merly pointing out the fact that the manner - which is horrifically similar to the imperial British way - of the "Freedom Revolution" will never achieve its goal as long as it neglects the various way how people react to its message.
Some social system may be considered "lower", but it's not the religion most of the time that pervades the states nature, but the people who exploit it.
Also it's not the corrupt politicians and bureocrats who are the base of countries dispair, but the system's fulsome complexity and years of habitual shakedown. The people above, should be punished for their crime, but they are rarely the origin of the problem.
America should wake up from its Wilson-ian ideals and realise that the world is not made up of black and white, but a range of shades which can change accourding to the general political weather. Some Roosewelt-ish practicaly would help, if not aplied in the name of justice that's the very own of the burgeous middle class whose generations of life in richness blinded them from the 'life and death by the blade' morale of powerty.
(The comparision between Wilson and Roosewelt was partialy borrowed from Henry Kissinger.)
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and has anyone noticed how Bush is always saying "nucular" instead of "nuclear"?
You'd be surprised how many people use the former.
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Indeed. Just about everyone near where I live say "nucular".
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Originally posted by Woolie Wool
Indeed. Just about everyone near where I live say "nucular".
Oh, WW, you´re from Texas, too? :eek: ;) :D