Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: kasperl on September 23, 2003, 01:17:12 pm
-
I've been thinking lately, and I discovered I have absolutely no life.
I am 15, tall, skinny and I’ve got a slightly bended back.
At school I’m pretty much a loner and outside of the group. I wear black all the time, and I use a briefcase instead of a backpack or shoulder thingy. I am letting my hair grow. And I read books in my breaks. I do have some "friends" though I know that all except one or two of the guys I know would stab me in the back if they thought it would be fun. The girls I know are generally nice to me, but it isn’t really friendship or anything, just knowing each other, aside from one or two people.
I spend all my time outside of school behind my pc or reading books. The only time I go outside is for school or shopping. I get moody, or I generally am moody, because of no reason at all. Smiling isn't really often happening.
I can fix most computer stuff with some experience and skill, and if there's something wrong with a pc, most beginners who know me are smart enough to let me do it. I am always stupid or kind enough to help.
I only like soft, meaningful music, and I hate party's with loud music and nothing but dancing on house like stuff.
It's not that I feel like I am missing something huge by not going to raves every Friday, but I do miss having friends.
Now, the real question, do you consider me to be a nerd, and do you consider yourself to be one?
-
your a nerd, and no im not (sorry)
-
All I can really say to that is that most of the people you know have less of a life than they are telling you ;)
As for being at home behind books etc, do you enjoy it? If so, why feel bad for doing what you enjoy?
As for friends, I'd rather have a few good friends that I can trust than a multitude of them, since those with a lot of friends tend to spend most their time talking about what 'this' friend said to 'this' friend about 'that' friend.... No Thanks ;)
I'm quite possibly a 'Nerd' but then, if it were important to me how many beers I can drink and how fast a car I drive and how many women I can pull (ok, possibly this counted when I was younger ;) ) then I think I would consider myself shallow :)
Flipside :D
-
you are just you only you can change your own life you must believe your skills
-
Flipside, you got it right, but i do miss having any friend i really trust. i know that if i'm in really deep **** there are two girls and mabey one guy i could call on, but i have no friends who would just hang out with me for having a good time.
-
Originally posted by Holy Imperial Gloriano
you are just you only you can change your own life you must believe your skills
i am who i am, your right there. but i do miss having friends, and people just think i am too excentric to be friends. the last thing i want to do is change my self just to be part of the club. i tried that once, and it just ain't me. i also feel that friends should be friends with me for who i am, not just because i fix their PC or pay for lunch that time.
-
Hmmh...if all what you're saying is true, then yeah, you are a nerd.
But I'd consider myself to be a fifty-fifty guy. It mostly depends on what day it is.
-
Originally posted by kasperl
i am who i am, your right there. but i do miss having friends, and people just think i am too excentric to be friends. the last thing i want to do is change my self just to be part of the club. i tried that once, and it just ain't me. i also feel that friends should be friends with me for who i am, not just because i fix their PC or pay for lunch that time.
i don`t have many friends but i don`t need them i got wife
so point is get gf
-
Originally posted by Holy Imperial Gloriano
i don`t have many friends but i don`t need them i got wife
so point is get gf
i wish it was that easy, :doubt:
-
Originally posted by kasperl
i wish it was that easy, :doubt:
Uhuh...what's the problem? Too shy?
-
but you know it`s easy if you know what to do;)
but i don`t start teach peoples get gf
-
Originally posted by Ulundel
Uhuh...what's the problem? Too shy?
that too, and not really any one who seems to even think of liking me.
also i odubt that just getting a girlfriend would solve all my problems.
-
Time for my all purpose generic advice again:
Never accept the importance of anything, then it will not worry you.
-
Originally posted by Petrarch of the VBB
Time for my all purpose generic advice again:
Never accept the importance of anything, then it will not worry you.
ah well, i do find having some friends important.
getting lonely and bitter isn't really they way i want ot end.
-
mebbe you should try to be a little more out-going. worked pretty well for me. gah, I even started talking and answering questions in class...
-
Originally posted by kasperl
that too, and not really any one who seems to even think of liking me.
First thing: cut down your hair. I know how a thing simple as that can change people
-
Originally posted by kode
mebbe you should try to be a little more out-going. worked pretty well for me. gah, I even started talking and answering questions in class...
erm, i do that. i don't have a problem with being shy, i am just a bit paranoid, so i never can seem to trust anyone who i don't know that well. complete strangers are less of a problem somehow.
-
Originally posted by Ulundel
First thing: cut down your hair. I know how a thing simple as that can change people
it was even worse when it was short, and i like it better when it's long.
and really though, it looks a bit bad now when it's half long, but i now from previous experience that it can look good on me.
-
simple nerd test:
Do you go to HLP?
[]Yes
[]NO
if you selected yes, than you are a nerd.
-
Originally posted by Carl
simple nerd test:
Do you go to HLP?
[]Yes
[]NO
if you selected yes, than you are a nerd.
and if you selected no, you're a liar...
-
Originally posted by kasperl
erm, i do that. i don't have a problem with being shy, i am just a bit paranoid, so i never can seem to trust anyone who i don't know that well. complete strangers are less of a problem somehow.
then you shouldn't read robert a wilson and robert sheas illuminatus! trilogy, then... but seriously, trusting people is hard to do, especially if you're paranoid (yes, I am that too, a little. but that's mainly concerning authorities).
-
Originally posted by kasperl
also i odubt that just getting a girlfriend would solve all my problems.
Ok, first of all: D'OH!
Ofcourse it won't solve all your problems. Its sad but true: Your problems are yours to solve. HOWEVER, good friends or a close girlfriend can help you a lot. :)
-
Originally posted by Holy Imperial Gloriano
i don`t have many friends but i don`t need them i got wife
so point is get gf
yes, you're a nerd, kasperl, and so am i. Although I got a gf, but something....bad happened, or is happening :(
-
Originally posted by Unknown Target
yes, you're a nerd, kasperl, and so am i. Although I got a gf, but something....bad happened, or is happening :(
if you don't mind me asking, what?
-
Originally posted by kasperl
it was even worse when it was short, and i like it better when it's long.
Better ask what others think about it. Or at least wash them every day and get a kick-ass hair cut. I don't have a scanner here to scan the pic I want to show you but take my word - long hair without a haircut suck. Big time.
-
Originally posted by Ulundel
Better ask what others think about it. Or at least wash them every day and get a kick-ass hair cut. I don't have a scanner here to scan the pic I want to show you but take my word - long hair without a haircut suck.
mm, the word the girls used when they saw foto's of me with long hair, was "oh, so cute". but that might have to do with me being like 10 in those pictures.
-
People have a problem with your hair? Then it's their problem.
I have long hair, and used to get the piss taken at school, but I stuck with it, and they soon realised they were wasting their time.
I find that works with a lot of things, the idiots will soon find someone or something else to enternain their little minds.
-
Originally posted by kasperl
if you don't mind me asking, what?
I'd rather not talk about it. It's got me down as hell, and, well, it's just not good. Sorry.
-
Originally posted by Petrarch of the VBB
People have a problem with your hair? Then it's their problem.
I have long hair, and used to get the piss taken at school, but I stuck with it, and they soon realised they were wasting their time.
I find that works with a lot of things, the idiots will soon find someone or something else to enternain their little minds.
the old "just ignore them" card. i tried it, it worked a bit, after a year they seemed to stop buggin me with the briefcase, and now only kids from years below me bully me with it.
****, that sounded sad.
-
Originally posted by kasperl
the old "just ignore them" card. i tried it, it worked a bit, after a year they seemed to stop buggin me with the briefcase, and now only kids from years below me bully me with it.
****, that sounded sad.
Just use a backpack, it's easier anyways...
But, yea, a good friend, even online, will always help.
-
Originally posted by Unknown Target
Just use a backpack, it's easier anyways...
But, yea, a good friend, even online, will always help.
well, i am not giving in here, and i tried the backpack,. and the briefcase is easier. i know from experience that if you start giving in, you end up giving it all.
-
Originally posted by Petrarch of the VBB
People have a problem with your hair? Then it's their problem.
I have long hair, and used to get the piss taken at school, but I stuck with it, and they soon realised they were wasting their time.
I find that works with a lot of things, the idiots will soon find someone or something else to enternain their little minds.
But just what if they were not bugging you because you look a bit different but they actually find your hair repulsive? At least that's the case in out class.
-
I agree there.
Never give in. In fact, in some cases, do the direct opposite, and do more of whatever it is you're being ribbed about.
How this appiles to carrying a briefcase I don't know, it's not as if you could carry two of them, as it would be impractical.
-
Originally posted by Ulundel
But just what if they were not bugging you because you look a bit different but they actually find your hair repulsive? At least that's the case in out class.
they're not really bugging me, and they don't seem to find it all too bad. and why would they find it repulsive, is it so wierd for a guy to have long hair?
-
Originally posted by Ulundel
But just what if they were not bugging you because you look a bit different but they actually find your hair repulsive?
Then **** 'em, I'm not changing just because a few wankers don't agree with it.
-
Originally posted by Petrarch of the VBB
I agree there.
Never give in. In fact, in some cases, do the direct opposite, and do more of whatever it is you're being ribbed about.
How this appiles to carrying a briefcase I don't know, it's not as if you could carry two of them, as it would be impractical.
i get the idea, and i agree. somehow, subcontiently, if they bug me about being eccentric, i get even more eccentric out of protest.
-
Originally posted by kasperl
they're not really bugging me, and they don't seem to find it all too bad. and why would they find it repulsive, is it so wierd for a guy to have long hair?
No, but 1) it sometimes may look disgusting (especially when your hear is almost black) and 2) if you already are a bit nerdy type, it'll make you look even more geekier.
But I haven't seen you so I might as easly be wrong.
-
Originally posted by kasperl
i get the idea, and i agree. somehow, subcontiently, if they bug me about being eccentric, i get even more eccentric out of protest.
Indeed. It worked for me, and a few other people at school, people I'd have never become friends with if it weren't for our common eccentricity.
-
Originally posted by Petrarch of the VBB
Then **** 'em, I'm not changing just because a few wankers don't agree with it.
You're not getting my point here. :blah:
-
Originally posted by Ulundel
No, but 1) it sometimes may look disgusting (especially when your hear is almost black) and 2) if you already are a bit nerdy type, it'll make you look even more geekier.
But I haven't seen you so I might as easly be wrong.
no, my hair is blond, and i wash it about every day.
-
Originally posted by Ulundel
You're not getting my point here. :blah:
Am I not?
Your point being that they find the hair repulsive.
My point being that this is no reason to change it.
-
Originally posted by Petrarch of the VBB
Am I not?
Your point being that they find the hair repulsive.
My point being that this is no reason to change it.
You wouldn't change your looks because it looks repulsive. man...you are one weird dude then.
If pepole would tell me "hey man, that shirt you're wearing looks like ****", I would change it as soon as I can.
-
Just keep the long hair clean and devoid of any macroscopic organisms. I hate having to sit behind some dude in class whose hair is practically a biosphere all on its own.
-
http://www.swooh.com/peon/stunaep/Ninth.JPG
4th row, 2nd from the right.
Now does this look like ok to you?
-
Originally posted by Ulundel
you are one weird dude then.
Thank you.
If pepole would tell me "hey man, that shirt you're wearing looks like ****", I would change it as soon as I can.
That doesn't even warrant a response.
-
Originally posted by Ulundel
http://www.swooh.com/peon/stunaep/Ninth.JPG
4th row, 2nd from the right.
Now does this look like ok to you?
meh. it ain't really as long as i have it, and if your hair is that straight, you might have to do something about having it that long, or make a ponytail or something.
-
I do have some "friends" though I know that all except one or two of the guys I know would stab me in the back if they thought it would be fun. The girls I know are generally nice to me, but it isn’t really friendship or anything, just knowing each other, aside from one or two people.
Dude, invest in your friendships. I have a 6-month to one-year cycle of friends here, with most people my age coming for a visit or for a year at Hebrew University, and then returning to their homeland. It's rough on relationships. I've really come to value the few friends I have that do live here. I suggest you do the same. :)
-
Originally posted by Sandwich
Dude, invest in your friendships. I have a 6-month to one-year cycle of friends here, with most people my age coming for a visit or for a year at Hebrew University, and then returning to their homeland. It's rough on relationships. I've really come to value the few friends I have that do live here. I suggest you do the same. :)
i do value the friends i have, i just don't have any real friends.
-
How did this thread turn into a discussion of long, greasy hair?
Um... never mind that.
Anyway, a few days ago, we had to go out and talk to people of the opposite sex in psychology class (yeah, I know, sounds stupid). Anyway, aside the fact that the only ones to talk to in Tallinn at noon, are drunk finnish tourists. It was quite fun. Teno', AFAIK got the phone number of a girl who was skipping school, another schoolmate got to help a man choose flowers for his wife (and the schoolmate was female, for any of you ZylonBane wannabe's out there).
So get out more, talk to people more.
-
Originally posted by kasperl
I've been thinking lately, and I discovered I have absolutely no life.
I am 15, tall, skinny and I’ve got a slightly bended back.
At school I’m pretty much a loner and outside of the group. I wear black all the time, and I use a briefcase instead of a backpack or shoulder thingy. I am letting my hair grow. And I read books in my breaks. I do have some "friends" though I know that all except one or two of the guys I know would stab me in the back if they thought it would be fun. The girls I know are generally nice to me, but it isn’t really friendship or anything, just knowing each other, aside from one or two people.
I spend all my time outside of school behind my pc or reading books. The only time I go outside is for school or shopping. I get moody, or I generally am moody, because of no reason at all. Smiling isn't really often happening.
I can fix most computer stuff with some experience and skill, and if there's something wrong with a pc, most beginners who know me are smart enough to let me do it. I am always stupid or kind enough to help.
I only like soft, meaningful music, and I hate party's with loud music and nothing but dancing on house like stuff.
It's not that I feel like I am missing something huge by not going to raves every Friday, but I do miss having friends.
Now, the real question, do you consider me to be a nerd, and do you consider yourself to be one?
You sound exactly like me.:cool:
You're not a nerd, your a geek.
Nerds spend all their free time in the A/V room and are actively targeted by bullies and off pretencious cheerleader.
-
soon as you get a girlfriend you'll have no money and lots of hassles ! Kinda like gettin' a car... (apologies to any ladies present)
Seriously though, don't worry about it. I don't see (hardly) any of my school chummies anymore, but you meet new people and make new friends.
-
I spend most of my free time (about 14 hours per day during the holidays) playing computer games or trying to get inspiration for the next paragraph of the book I've been writing for the last two years. I have about 4 friends, all guys. The only 3 girls I meet regularly are friends of one of my friends, and are so annoying that I avoid them most of the time...
I know very well that most other people consider me to be a nerd, and I don't really give a damn. They're entitled to their opinions of me, just as I'm entitled to my opinion of them (eg. they're all shallow bastards who only think about sex, alcohol, and how to dodge work).
The trick to enjoying life is to remember this:
When you began life, you began with nothing. If you die with nothing having done nothing, you've broken even and it doesn't matter. Whatever you accomplish, it's a net gain on your starting situation. Therefore, you can't really screw up. So never ever worry about what other people think and just enjoy yourself.
This is a philosophy I've had for about 2 years (ever since I left the hell that is secondary school) and it's served me well.
This goes some way towards explaining why I don't suffer from stress, and why I'm the only person in my classes at college who isn't worried about leaving home and going to University in about 5 days time. To tell the truth, I'm quite looking forward to it.
No parents to complain about the possibility of me suffering from RSI, or becoming hunchbacked. Or loosing my sight from staring at a screen for 70% of the daylight hours.
Things can only get better. Better than secondary school, anyway. Mind you, having to listen to one of Tony Blair's speechs for seven hours straight would be better than remembering my days at secondary school and, come to think of it, primary school too. Although I do have fond memories of one girl at secondary school whom I was always too nervous to ask on a date. Let that be a lesson to everyone: lack of confidence is ALWAYS a pain in the ass, especially in hindsight.
-
The problem may not be you, but your difference (or the lack of whatsoever difference between the other clones of "I live by the mark" teeniger of our age) from the class.
I had to endure this for 2 years and by the end I was finally given some room to breath, but it hadn't made too much of a difference.
It all changed when I had gone to secondary school (we have 4/6/8 (primary school) + 8/6/4 (secondary school) year system before university); but I was already so enshelled, that it took me almost 5 years to lighten up.
Looking for the right company - and getting some fresh air for a change; could lead to better relationships.
Don't pursue the relation alone - it will dissapoint you. I did this with my first girlfriend and our story turned out to be a big misunderstanding for the both of us. (We're still friends though).
BTW I don't think your outlook is too much of a problem juding from your photo. If someone like me could manage; I doubt you'd be so hopeless.
Here's a pic to illustrate (yeah, it was on our graduation pageant):
(http://users.freestart.hu/szandtner/me.jpg)
-
Originally posted by kasperl
I've been thinking lately, and I discovered I have absolutely no life.
I am 15, tall, skinny and I’ve got a slightly bended back.
At school I’m pretty much a loner and outside of the group. I wear black all the time, and I use a briefcase instead of a backpack or shoulder thingy. I am letting my hair grow. And I read books in my breaks. I do have some "friends" though I know that all except one or two of the guys I know would stab me in the back if they thought it would be fun. The girls I know are generally nice to me, but it isn’t really friendship or anything, just knowing each other, aside from one or two people.
I spend all my time outside of school behind my pc or reading books. The only time I go outside is for school or shopping. I get moody, or I generally am moody, because of no reason at all. Smiling isn't really often happening.
I can fix most computer stuff with some experience and skill, and if there's something wrong with a pc, most beginners who know me are smart enough to let me do it. I am always stupid or kind enough to help.
I only like soft, meaningful music, and I hate party's with loud music and nothing but dancing on house like stuff.
It's not that I feel like I am missing something huge by not going to raves every Friday, but I do miss having friends.
Now, the real question, do you consider me to be a nerd, and do you consider yourself to be one?
You you are a nerd/geek. And that description sounds much like me. Personally I don't mind being myself. I have two friends both have graduated from highschool and are in or are going to go to collage soon and both are nerds. You know what, if I hadn't hooked up with them I wouldn't have built my own computer (one that worked or as good). And my modeling and web skills wouldn't be what they are today.
If you must know chicks dig nerds. Infact at the last Xbox party I was at. (my first party outside of church functions in while) My friend was making some Ethernet cable for the Xbox's and all but one of the girls were watching intently him!
NERDS RULE! JOCKS DROOL!
-
Watch out for girlfriends. Sometimes they end up being the only thing you care about, and when they're gone....
:(
-
LOL Oh dear, Manic Depressive Nerds Forum ;)
Seriously, we are all sitting here in a Forum dedicated to a game that was released to barely a tootle on a trumpet, let alone a fanfare, in 1998, and we are asking each other if we are nerds?
YES!
But I'd rather be a Nerd than a cardboard cutout ;)
Flipside :D
As for the girlfriend thing, you don't lose your troubles, you exchange them, but at least you have someone to share them with, and if it's the right person, it's cool :D
-
yeah, you're definatly a nerd... or some other 4-6 letter words
-
I prefer the term "geek" :)
-
Non-conformist :D
Don't worry about it, you're young and bitter, you still have old and bitter to look forward to ;)
Flipside :D
-
Uhm, kasperl, this is my advice.
I'm pretty much like you, except I got a few friends (live kinda far though) and a twin bro, so its not that big a deal. Aswell, I look pretty normal, even a bit above average I believe. But generally, the same thing. I don't have many friends cause I just don't much care, but if you do care then its not something you should just forget about. Having friends, even 1 or 2, is important and everything starts looking better if you do.
What I recommend, is that without really changing who you are and all that, just be a bit more friendly. I know with confidence that if I really wanted to start some friendships, it would take about 2 days of bieng friendly and outgoing to accomplish it. I mostly don't really go out of my way to engage in conversations and usually respond with short answers and avoid all the chit-chat. The thing is, if you just talk to someone for like 10 minutes, and just act normally, you'll find that getting friends isn't really this huge, unachievable thing. Most people (that I know) really don't care what you look like etc. Even the shallow ones and stuff at school, they have perfectly normal conversations with "weird" people and act genrally normal towards them. Case in point, there's this one really wierd guy at my school, much worse that you I'm guessing. He's got short hair on one side and long on the other, dresses in the wierdest crap, and still he's got friends and even a GF I think. Most schools have this group of people who are all wierd and all friends, on account of their wierdness.
Unless part of "being yourself" is being really grouchy and pissed all the time, I think that you can get friends without changing anything about your personality except putting in a little bit more effort. If you start a conversation with someone, they'll probably (from experience, but yours might be different) just talk to you like they would to anyone else. So just start talking, and you'll pretty soon find out, I think, that you've got atleast something in common with others. And about like going to parties or the movies or something, it can be fun despite what you may think. I went to my friend party a while ago, and even though I hardly knew anyone (my bro, and my other friend who lives close by so we just invited him over) and I wasn't drinking (personal choice) while everyone else way, I had a good time.
Summary: Just be a tab bit more friendly, and people will respond in kind.
-
Alright, time for some reality.
You are fifteen, and this situation is pretty much standard for any1 vaguely academic at your age. I've been where you are, I've done what you've done, and the trick is not to change who you are in terms of your interests or habits, but to convince yourself to be more confident about who you are. Once that happens things just... fall into place! :) Sure, growing up is still difficult either way, but trust me it gets better. :D
-
You're a nerd. Big deal. So is everyone else here. It happens.