Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: diamondgeezer on December 21, 2003, 06:09:38 pm
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There are rats under my floorboards
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Are they warfarin resistant rats?
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[color=cc9900]If you never noticed them before, you ought to be okay just leaving them there since they don't seem to bother you much.
If that isn't an option, then train them up so they can juggle. Make a profit out of a bad situation.[/color]
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Originally posted by 01010
Are they warfarin resistant rats?
I don't know. They won't tell me.
I think they've only recently arrived. I started hearing noises a few days ago and bits of plasterboard and stuff are falling out of a hole in the kitchen celing where water pipes go...
Seriously, I'm leaving tomorrow for Xmas and the house willl be empty for at least a week. They'll have destroyed it by the time I get back, I need a sure fire method of wiping out a rat colony that can be deployed tomorrow morning before I have to go. Preferably not burning down the house.
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...lots of poisoned food laying around?
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Thing is I don't want to leave food out in the open if they're content to stay under the floorboards. And I don't want to be pulling up the carpet and boards tomorrow morning. And the ****ing landlord's phone is permanently engaged...
Arrgh.
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[color=cc9900]Reminds me of an experience with rats in a house I was living in a few moves back. We caught them using a non-lethal trap thingie, then put them in a big plastic box they couldn't get out of. Came back in the morning and practically the whole floor of the box was covered in baby rats.[/color]
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The irony is I'm a rat fancier (please don't put that in a sig). I've got a poster in front of me with different fancy rat varities on it. Unfortunately the old man has a phobia of them and the landlord here doesn't allow them so I've never been able to keep any.
They're cute when they're babies. It's such a shame they have to grow up and give people Weil's disease.
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[color=cc9900]I knew a girl once who loved rats. She had two of them (I think it was two, anyway, they ran too fast around one another to count), and whenever you saw her you had to be careful in case a rat jumped out of her top (lucky bastards). She took them everywhere with her like that.[/color]
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Originally posted by diamondgeezer
The irony is I'm a rat fancier (please don't put that in a sig). I've got a poster in front of me with different fancy rat varities on it. Unfortunately the old man has a phobia of them and the landlord here doesn't allow them so I've never been able to keep any.
They're cute when they're babies. It's such a shame they have to grow up and give people Weil's disease.
I used to have a rat that was donated to me, it was immense and had to be kept in an incredibly large aquarium. He was lovely though and was pretty clever. As rats go.
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Originally posted by diamondgeezer
I need a sure fire method of wiping out a rat colony that can be deployed tomorrow morning before I have to go. Preferably not burning down the house.
Fire. Lots of fire. ;7
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Originally posted by 01010
He was lovely though and was pretty clever. As rats go.
They're dead smart for their size. You can teach them all sorts of tricks. I'm hoping to teach these ones how to pack their bags and get the **** out of my house.
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Originally posted by Beowulf
Fire. Lots of fire. ;7
[color=cc9900]That would be discounted under the "preferably not burning down the house" bit.[/color]
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It's just that being in the middle of a terrace, the nieghbours migh consider it a bit anti-social
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[q]The irony is I'm a rat fancier (please don't put that in a sig). [/q]
Kiss. Of. Death.
[q]They're dead smart for their size. You can teach them all sorts of tricks. I'm hoping to teach these ones how to pack their bags and get the **** out of my house.[/q]
I'd recommend some positive action.... with some poison.
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W00t, two quotes ;7
[EDIT] The little ****ers are at it again, I can hear them. Little bastards.
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[color=cc9900]You know, you can get these feckin' huge rats around, even in good ol' England. I've seen dark shapes roughly the size of badgers but with long tails, and confirmed things to be rats that weren't much smaller.[/color]
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Yah, but these one's are just rat-sized since a) they fit under my floorboards and b) I've seen a tail. So :ha:
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Grab the tail and chop it off!! :devil:
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[color=cc9900]Sure, but there's this kind of heirarchy. What you've got are the scout rats. If they judge a place fit for a rat to live in, they call in the larger rats, which call in the larger rats...[/color]
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Technically, since they're vermin I think I can claim a bounty on their tails
In any case I'm gassing up the Desert Eagle since no-one can object to me shooting at pests :)
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Do you own a staple gun by any chance? :nervous:
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[color=cc9900]Bah. Just shoot compressed air at them, ruffle their fur a bit, they'll soon get the idea they're not wanted and go away in a huff, dragging a binliner of your stuff behind them.[/color]
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I have a can of WD40, I can probably jerry-rig a flamethrower
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[color=cc9900]Then you run into the problem of objects that aren't rats but are also equally flammable.[/color]
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Between my floorboards? I should hope not.
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[color=cc9900]I was rather thinking of the floorboards themselves, but hey... Plenty of electrical wires to fuse together between the floorboards too.[/color]
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I'm not certain electricity had been invented when this place was built.
Aargh, little ****ers. They're making a bloody racket. How am I supposed to get to sleep?
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I was wondering where that was going with the WD40 there....
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[color=cc9900]You could always just knock on the floorboards and ask politely if they could be a little quieter in their looting.[/color]
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[q]They're making a bloody racket. How am I supposed to get to sleep?[/q]
Masturbation might tire you out sufficiently.
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[color=cc9900]Who knows, it might entrance the rats too.[/color]
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[q] it might entrance the rats too.[/q]
Either thats a typo, or a very sick joke.
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[color=cc9900]Oh, hell. That is bad, isn't it? No, I meant entrance as in mesmerise. Reference second definition here (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=entrance)[/color]
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Aaargh
I've just seen one the little bastards running around in my kitchen. Evil evil little ****ers. I'm supposed to be on a coach to London in two hours. Now I've got the Council comming round tomorrow meaning I have to travel through central London on bloody Christmas Eve.
Quite frankly, I'm getting a kebab.
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[color=cc9900]Oh dear. London = bad at any time.
London + Christmas Eve = Feel really, really sorry for the poor bugger.[/color]
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Ummm....rat exterminator?
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get a cat
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Get low yield land mines.
Oh, and squirrels are evil, too (grey - red ones are ok). They can climb up vertical, sheer face walls. Little f***ing facehuggers....
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Originally posted by PhReAk
get a cat
This is the best idea. The cat will not only kill the rats for you, but present their corpses to you as a gift.
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You don't perchance dress up as a highwayman at night by any chance Aldo? I'm getting a rather worrying Blackadder vibe from you there.
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Not on weeknights, or months ending with a 'y'
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[q]Not on weeknights, or months ending with a 'y'[/q]
I'm never going up the town on a weekend in March, April, June, August, September, October, November, or December ever again.
Well that me pretty shafted.
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You shafted? Which of us has the rat infestation?
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True mate, I take that back - I'm merely buggered, you're infested. :lol:
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Originally posted by IPAndrews
This is the best idea. The cat will not only kill the rats for you, but present their corpses to you as a gift.
and crap/piss/vomit all over your kitchen floor/carpet/sofa
(delete where appropiate)
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Hey. There's a programe about the Black Death on C4 now !
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****ing great
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My aunt had white albino rats that could do a lot of tricks. She also had siamese cats that climbed the wallpaper with their claws. Siamese cats are ace.
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I've got a cunning plan.......................
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Oh, right, sorry. The plan.
Er.
Armed hamsters.
*runs*
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Kung Fu Fighting Hamsters!!!
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Originally posted by Odyssey
[color=cc9900]That would be discounted under the "preferably not burning down the house" bit.[/color]
:sigh: I know, I just had to anyway...
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Her Majesty's rat catcher came this morning with traps. So now I have to go downstairs and see of there are any dead rats in my kitchen.
Yay.
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It'll save you money on kebabs, at least.
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Originally posted by aldo_14
It'll save you money on kebabs, at least.
With the added bonus of being real meat.
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Nothing yet... perhaps playing Mr Scruff at maximum woofage has driven them all mad?
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Or out.
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A snake would be more appropriate in this case since they can get into areas a cat can't. Unfortunatly, it would take longer to take out the colony since they only need to eat once or twice a week.
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Poison, they should have some at any hardware store worth it's salt. Make sure to keep away from any little children though.
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[q]Make sure to keep away from any little children though.[/q]
I'd like to know why he'd have little children in his flat anyway...
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Spam.