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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: aldo_14 on December 22, 2003, 05:11:33 am

Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: aldo_14 on December 22, 2003, 05:11:33 am: 1/ Withdraw pie supply
2/ Slap with a wet haddock. Wettened with lemon juice and rubbed in salt. With sharpened scales.

More suggestions welcome! your contribution counts!
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: Setekh on December 22, 2003, 05:17:59 am: I kinda like the winner of Australia's competition - a bit bummed out I'll be missing the opening of the series, but ah well. :)
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: diamondgeezer on December 22, 2003, 06:37:51 am: 3) Make them swallow rusty razor blades

4) Threaten not to put them on the cover of Smash Hits magazine
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: Turnsky on December 22, 2003, 06:40:12 am: 5) Make them work for microsoft
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: aldo_14 on December 22, 2003, 06:50:34 am: 6/ Stab them in the eyes with a toothpick covered in vinegar
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: Turnsky on December 22, 2003, 06:58:13 am: 7) make them sing to a bunch of deaf/blind people..
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: aldo_14 on December 22, 2003, 07:00:31 am: 8) Put on makeup to make them look black (if neccessary), then introduce them to Cheryl Tweedy*

*Surely heading for trouble.........
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: karajorma on December 22, 2003, 07:21:31 am: Quote
Originally posted by diamondgeezer
4) Threaten not to put them on the cover of Smash Hits magazine

This years winner was a far bird. They won't be putting her on the cover any time soon. They keep the cover for identikit girl groups and cookie cutter boybands.

Although I hate Pop Idol with every fibre of my being at least this year they didn't pick someone from the same machine that puts out the same indentical people every year. Now it only remains to be seen if she manages to actually sing something good or instead releases yet another cover version of a song which was sung better by someone dead for 20 years.

I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for something original and good though.
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: Odyssey on December 22, 2003, 08:53:17 am: [color=cc9900]Karajorma, all it means is that pop idol is now Politically Correct™. After the 2 million contract is run down, she'll fade into obscurity just like the rest of 'em. I can imagine it now:
"Hey, Jimmy! Some bastard has jammed the fader again. I thought they told us all the people going through this thing would fit four at a time..."[/color]
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: IPAndrews on December 22, 2003, 09:35:50 am: Oh forget it. I was going to make some witty comment about Michelle's ample size, but frankly I've come to the conclusion that I don't care anymore.
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: karajorma on December 22, 2003, 09:40:36 am: He's one of those cookie cutter guys so that would be just as bad if not worse! Besides the worst thing about this show is that the losers don't fade into obscurity quickly enough.

I couldn't tell you who won between Will Young and Garath Gates since they both went on to do dreadful cover versions.
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: TrashMan on December 22, 2003, 09:41:25 am: 9/ Break into their house and steal anything incriminating and give it to some nosy newspapers

10/ send a horde of Papparazzi on them
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: phreak on December 22, 2003, 09:50:08 am: 11) pacify the masses so they don't want anymore of those "idol" shows
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: aldo_14 on December 22, 2003, 09:57:15 am: 12/ Make them play their own instruments and actually write their music..... (or is that torturing us more than them?)
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: Kazan on December 22, 2003, 10:01:57 am: Quote
Originally posted by PhReAk
11) pacify the masses so they don't want anymore of those "idol" shows
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: an0n on December 22, 2003, 10:44:16 am: Bah, you people have no malice:

13) Attatch electrodes to their over-sized [man]boobs and cook them till they smell like burned pork.
Title: Re: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: Woolie Wool on December 22, 2003, 11:44:56 am: Quote
Originally posted by aldo_14
1/ Withdraw pie supply
2/ Slap with a wet haddock. Wettened with lemon juice and rubbed in salt. With sharpened scales.

More suggestions welcome! your contribution counts!

Make them listen to their own music so that they see how much they truly suck.

Either that or Janeway porn. That's the ultimate torture.
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: Ace on December 22, 2003, 12:05:35 pm: Quote
Originally posted by PhReAk
11) pacify the masses so they don't want anymore of those "idol" shows

14) Sterilize the masses so thy can't produce "idol" fans for the next generation ;)

an0n- Are you sure you aren't related to Hk-47? Despite your being a meatbag and all...
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: Kazan on December 22, 2003, 12:07:53 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Ace

14) Sterilize the masses so thy can't produce "idol" fans for the next generation ;)

an0n- Are you sure you aren't related to Hk-47? Despite your being a meatbag and all...
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: 01010 on December 22, 2003, 12:54:24 pm: I thought it interesting how they let three people into the final and even more interesting that two of them won.
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: Odyssey on December 22, 2003, 01:43:00 pm: [color=cc9900]Is it just me, or has Kazan made two posts in this thread, both of which were done by hitting the quote button followed by 'Submit Reply'? C'mon man, you must have your own views too...[/color]
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: diamondgeezer on December 22, 2003, 01:47:07 pm: Shhh, he's busy. See the Ferrium thread if you don't believe me.
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: 01010 on December 22, 2003, 02:18:59 pm: I do think the 10 million plus of the population that voted for this bag of wank program should be culled from the planet. They obviously have nothing else better to do.
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: delta_7890 on December 22, 2003, 03:20:15 pm: 15) Skin them alive and huck them into the ocean.
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: aldo_14 on December 22, 2003, 03:58:49 pm: 16/ Wall them up in a tomb and let them stare until they turn on each other.

Oh, and apparently Pete *wank wank* Waterman stormed off in a huff because a fat bird won :)
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: an0n on December 23, 2003, 03:41:19 am: 17) Tie them to a huge metal grate face-down and naked, then dump them into the sex-offenders wing at Broadmoor.
Title: 100 ways to torture a pop idol winner
Post by: 01010 on December 23, 2003, 12:03:43 pm: Quote
Originally posted by aldo_14
16/ Wall them up in a tomb and let them stare until they turn on each other.

Oh, and apparently Pete *wank wank* Waterman stormed off in a huff because a fat bird won :)

Of course he did, he knows that he can't tell a fat bird that if she sucks his dick, her career will get an extension.