Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: an0n on April 11, 2004, 10:42:27 pm
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Smallville: How, in the name of hell, did they manage to take a show about hot girls, farms and people with super powers and fuc[color=232][/color]k it up?
It's not that hard a concept to grasp that: Super Powers + Violence + Nudity = Good Show + Ratings.
Yet the morons behind Smallville don't seem to get it. Instead of having a weekly bloodbath with Clark mauling the **** out of any super-powered ****-up who pisses him off, they have him crying into his moccachino while some psycho who can walk through walls, or shoot electricity from their hands, or shoot flaming monkeys out their asshole, tries to kill Lana.
And what does he do each and every goddamn time he manages to save Lana from certain death? Does he capitalise on the adrenaline rush and horniness near-death situations create in women? Does he use his X-ray vision to see through her clothes (and give her cancer)? Does he even do something as trivial as kiss her when she stands before him panting and gazing into his eyes? **** no. He tells her he loves her but can't be with her.
Which brings me nicely to my next point....
Clark Kent:[/u] My God, could he be any more of a complete tool?
So she can teleport, and puts pictures of herself in your locker, and redecorates your barn, and demands sex all the time, and tries to kill Lana.
But I mean, who doesn't want to kill Lana? She's such a whiney piece of ass. And she never puts out.
Alicia Baker (Sarah Carter) on the other hand is horny as hell and as crazy as a box of monkeys. She's exicitng, dangerous, blonde and about ten times hotter than Lana.
But no. She inflicts serious injury on one person and tries to kill Lana and all of a sudden she's damaged goods. Who gives a ****? She's smart, she's built and she's practically salivating at the thought of Clark's nutsack, but what does he do? He tries to get her to turn her self in for beating six shades of crap out of her daddy.
Clark Kent is such a goddamn pussy. I remember when Superman was all about kickin' ass and takin' names. He'd charge through concrete walls and snap the bad guys necks for no fu[color=232][/color]ckin' reason. He even reversed time so he could get some pussy from Lois Lane without it being necrophilia.
What kind of moron would turn down Alicia Baker just because she's a little bit psychotic?
Look at her, for **** sake:
(http://www.penguinbomb.com/images/sarahcarter.jpg)
Why I Hate TV: In an ideal world, Clark would go around using his powers to pick up chicks and kill people, but in TV world they beat the butch out of him like he's some kind of prison salad-tosser, till he's nothing more than a quivering, affeminite, conditioner-using man*****.
I want a show about a real goddamn person with super-powers. Someone who uses his super-reflexes to comatose on booze and cocaine and go drag-racing with his buddies. Someone who uses his telepathy to **** with girls heads so they'll sleep with him. Someone who has absolutely no qualms about using his ability to bend space and time to get the Spice Channel for free.
But that will never happen, because TV execs are too scared to branch off from their target audience of whiney-ass, under sexed, teenage girls to give me a show that I don't feel physically sick watching. They're too comfortable catering to the telemotional needs of some dumb ***** in Idaho who's ****ed up on horse tranquilizers from all those Big Macs, to give a **** about what someone in the key, goddamn, voting demographic thinks about the complete and utter garbage that they force through the airwaves.
I swear to God, if Todd McFarlane would only stop whoring out his creation to the corporate sector and run for Prime Minister, I'd vote his ass into office.
*drops the mic and walks off stage muttering and swearing to himself*
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yup
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You keep forgeting, they have to keep the adolescent bimbo's that drool after Clark coming back week after week.
Also, you forgot the almost every superhero story ever created is a morality play that deals with power, it's consequences, and the responsibility it brings. Smallville is all these things.
Remember too, Lana finds out eventually. Before Clark leaves Smallville for college. It's canon after all.
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Granted, all super heroes are a morality tale, but that doesn't mean they've got to be completely ****ing whipped.
Look at Spawn. Or Wolverine. Or Cable. Or Green Lantern.
They're all good guys and they kick some major ass.
But not Superman. Oh, no. He's the last bastion of common sense. The man of incorruptable morale values.
:doubt:
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It's moral and you're right. He leads by example. He's what they all strive to be.
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Yeh superman is a dick. teh flash is way so much kewler
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Originally posted by Liberator
It's moral and you're right. He leads by example. He's what they all strive to be.
Leads who?!?!?
He's the strongest, fastest and most indestructible man in all the universe and he wastes all his **** trying to hide his obviously astronomical ass-kickin'-ness from some whiney little ***** of a woman who wouldn't even put out when she was stoned off her ass on alien spores.
And then there's Chloe. She's fairly hot and she's been after Clark's junk since the first episode. Screw what Lana thinks. I'd be bending that fine piece of ass over the news desk and working her till her lungs exploded.
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See, Anon, not everyone is like you.
Clark is a moral person. He was raised with good ole' country values workin' in the farm, baseball and apple pie ect. One of the points of the story is that his parents shaped who he is, and that's why he's a hero. If his pod thingy landed in an Al-Qiada training camp, he'd probably be a super villian, and would be ruling the world right about now.
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if he wasn't trapped in a comic book that is
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You're missing the point.
I don't want to watch a show about some farm-boy who always does everything right. I want a show about someone who goes around ****ing people up.
The only show on TV that doesn't try to cram morality down your throat nowadays is The Sopranos.
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Meh. For some reason, I think this show is designed to appeal almost solely to girls. The only friends of mine who watch Smallville these days are all female.
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well with a name like superman, he's going to be squeaky clean, what you want is "Super Fucking Hardass Man", man of steal, **** that he's the man of depleeted Uranium, not only stronger but if you hang out with him long enough you'll become sterile and get cancer, simply by being in his proximity, and that's the way he likes it.
there he goes, if you listen carefully you can hear his battle cry...
"FUCK JOO!!!"
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Lobo!
(http://maddox.xmission.com/lobo_kickass.jpg)
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yeah, they should make a show about him
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You'd get one episode...maybe. Then the Main Man would be kicked into orbit with the last 4 hobos he brutalized.
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heh.
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But I mean, who doesn't want to kill Lana? She's such a whiney piece of ass. And she never puts out.
yeah i agree. she needs a good ****ing though.
[color=66ff00]No swearing, same goes for the rest of you guys. We put the filters in place for a reason.[/color]
Alicia Baker (Sarah Carter) on the other hand is horny as hell and as crazy as a box of monkeys. She's exicitng, dangerous, blonde and about ten times hotter than Lana.
yeah, she's far hotter than Lana.
It's amazing. Smallville had (has) so much potential too
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Clark is gay.
Just like Peter (Parker).
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It's simple. Clark doesn't bang chicks all the time cause he'd kill them
Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex (http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html)
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Originally posted by an0n
Look at Spawn.
But Spawn only gets ****ty movies. If only I could get the cartoon somewhere.
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The Spawn cartoon was pretty cool, but seemed like the episodes were too short and too much time between them. Weren't they planning on making a Spawn 2? some guy I used to work with used to be obsessed with Spawn and found out there were going to make a second.
And in fact the person who's going to be in the second has a cameo in the first movie, in the party scene; it's some chick wearing a green dress that, in the comics, turns out to be a demon hunter or something.
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the cartoon was more closer to the comics than the movie was..
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They are not gay, they suffer from the malady that forces heroes to be heroes in the first place, an intense sense of personal responsibility.
Peter and Clark both feel that they cannot be in that intimate a relationship and keep them safe from harm. One look at all the psychos in the ward with Lex in recent episodes of Smallville, all of whom know Clark's secret, should be proof enough for that.
Peter Parker's Rogue's Gallery is almost never imprisoned and several of his more notorius foes know his secret identity and have used it to strike against him in ways that he cannot easily defend against without revealing his identity as Spider-Man.
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Whats with everyone finding out Clark has super powers? If it keeps up like that, every evil guy will know it. Don't bad guys gossip?
U know, before Smallville and that failed attempt of a spin off show of Batman with that chick, they were considering doing "Batman: Year 0" (or something like that) about Batman in his teens. They decided instead to do Smallville and add that show with that chick that was the daughter of batman and catwoman... I can't remember the name but that show just sucked. Anyone remember it?
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Originally posted by J3Vr6
Whats with everyone finding out Clark has super powers? If it keeps up like that, every evil guy will know it. Don't bad guys gossip?
U know, before Smallville and that failed attempt of a spin off show of Batman with that chick, they were considering doing "Batman: Year 0" (or something like that) about Batman in his teens. They decided instead to do Smallville and add that show with that chick that was the daughter of batman and catwoman... I can't remember the name but that show just sucked. Anyone remember it?
Birds of Prey, and it sucked... badly
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Right, never saw a single episode of Smallville, and I don't like Superman. But damned if you won't get my opinion on the matter regardless.
Superman is the quintessential Mr.Justice superhero, thats why I never much liked him. He dones't behave like everyone else, he's infalliable (sp?). Just cause you can lift heavy stuff and fly, why should that affect your personality. Granted, he's from another planet, but as long as they've got him acting like a human they might as well have him act like a real human. Being raised on the farm with Mom & Pop and apple pie, that doesn't make a person a do-gooder.
I always liked the more complicated characters from comics, who have more than one side of their personality. Since I read mostly Marvel, that would be personally Gambit, Wolverine and Magneto. Also, Norman Osbourne is one of the best developed characters I've ever seen. He's evil, but in a very human way.
I guess that category would include Lobo, the Punisher and Spawn to the list, and many others depending on what you read. The Spawn cartoon was awesome, they didn't water it down, it was very true to the comic book.
For those interested in "grown up" comics, I recently "obtained" a one-issue book called The Pro written by Garth Ennis. Basically, its a hooker-turned-superhero. Also, Marvel has an adult line going, called Marvel MAX and I also "obtained" a 6-issue Nick Fury miniseries, also by Garth Ennis. I guess he's their go-to guy when they need excessive swearing and lots of bloody business.
PM me if you're interested, I'm pretty sure they're still both up on Supernova, if not I'll just upload it somewhere maybe.\
edit: If I were ever to decide to watch a few eps of Smallville, it would be cause of Kristin Kruek. Damn....
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Rictor, very few, if any, of your personality traits are results of your genetic heritage. Humans as a rule are creatures of nuture not nature. All sentient lifeforms would be, because that is a sign of sentience, the ability to overcome your instincts. We are not beasts whose only purpose is to live till the next mating season, we are sentient, civilized person who can take responsibility to say no to their instincts. We instincts certainly, and they serve us well, but they must serve us, not we them.
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I know you won't care, but recent research has shown much of your personalit and system of ethics comes from the emotional parts of your brain, not the logical parts.
in other words, nu uh.
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Originally posted by an0n
(http://www.penguinbomb.com/images/sarahcarter.jpg)
:yes: :D HELL YES!
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they should make a new series about the flash. the flash is much better than Superfag
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That old Flash show was pretty good in the beginning season, but then it went downhill I think.
Smallville could be better if it got darker. From the episodes that I've seen, which aren't many, it looks like the character development of Lex Luther from turning good to bad is top-notch. How certain life events for Lex and his relationships with others... you can really see the change to evil he will one day turn to. But that's about the only thing I liked from the shows I watched.
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Originally posted by J3Vr6
That old Flash show was pretty good in the beginning season, but then it went downhill I think.
it could have lasted longer, but another show premiered that season in the same time slot on fox: The Simpsons.
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The later Flash (the one with the red and yellow suit, who's on Justice League) would be awesome.
Shooting around, hitting on all the female super heroines and taking the piss out of the bad guys.
See, Flash is a good super hero. He's just a normal guy who can run really ****in' fast.
And the Green Lantern (Hal Jordan). He's so normal he developed a God complex, commited genocide and warped the fabric of space-time just for the hell of it. Oh and he's got infinite power.
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Clark doesn't deserve lana or Alicia! Goddamn it i deserve them! :mad: with all that crap he's goin through he should concentrate on his ****ing spaceship and his school work, maybe the occasional 'evil' characters.
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Originally posted by an0n
And the Green Lantern (Hal Jordan). He's so normal he developed a God complex, commited genocide and warped the fabric of space-time just for the hell of it. Oh and he's got infinite power.
Not anymore, he's dead. Died saving Humanity from a giant, star eating aomeba.
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Take 3 breaths... feel better?
:nervous:
(maybe you should take some prozac BEFORE watching any more smallville)
As for me Superman is everything I admire but could never be 24/7 :p
Oh and I call seconds on Chloe, I don't know about the other blonde chick (I missed that episode) but Lana is boring and Chloe is one hot and fun piece of a$$! Should I start a wall of Chloe pics? :lol:
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?? THE GREEN LANTERN IS DEAD?!!?!?!?!? U talking about the white guy I grew up with or the black guy u see in justice league?
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Chloe looks like a mouse... That other chick posted here is ok, but I wouldn't think she's a knock-out. Then again, I'm not really into blondes. Lana looks just too plain to me. She's pretty and a little exotic, but she doesn't look like she has a bangin' body, or have that sexuality and sensuality in her... (great, put those two words together... now I need a tissue).
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Hal went nuts after his home, Coast City, was destroyed along with all his friends and relatives. He traveled to Oa, beating about 3/4 of the GL Corps and killing Sinestro in the process, and took all the energy out of the Central Power Battery. In their final moments the Guardians transfered their life essence to Ganthet, the lone dissenting voice in their number.
When Hal absorbed the energy from the battery he was transformed into Parallax, a nearly all-powerful being, and then he disapeared into space. Afterward, Ganthet dug his way out from under the bodies of his brothers and made his way to Earth with a recreated Ring and gave it to Kyle Raynor. Kyle's ring is different than the traditional GL ring. It is immune to the color yellow and has a set charge instead of a time limit. It can also permanently create objects, including other power rings, if the user's will is strong enough. It is also genetically bonded to Kyle so no other person can use it unless he wills it or it is tricked somehow.
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Originally posted by J3Vr6
?? THE GREEN LANTERN IS DEAD?!!?!?!?!? U talking about the white guy I grew up with or the black guy u see in justice league?
[color=66ff00]There are three caucasian green lanterns, Hal Jordan Died saving the earth.
[/color]
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And the latest green lantern is Kyle? Is that the black guy from Justice League? I didn't know there were so many green lanterns...
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there are tons of green lanterns it's like the Galactic Police force.
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Damn that chick is fine.
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Actually, Kyle is in space reforming the Corps. John Stewart(the black guy) recovered from being a parapalegic and is the current GL for Earth and it's sector in space.
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Originally posted by an0n
.....
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Shooting around, hitting on all the female super heroines and taking the piss out of the bad guys.
Sounds like a job for teh uber-hero-d00d....ZAPP BRANNIGAN
(http://homepages.nat.fr/~jorionpi/futurama/images/zapp.gif)
"Brannigan's law is like Brannigan's love, hard and fast"
"...if I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a bit?"
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I'd go after the blonde in a heartbeat.
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It would take you that long? ;)
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Originally posted by delta_7890
I'd go after the blonde in a heartbeat.
[color=66ff00]Zap Brannigan?!?
[/color]
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Originally posted by delta_7890
I'd go after the blonde in a heartbeat.
It'd be more like:
*sees blonde girl in skimpy underwear*
*heart beats*
*heart stops beating*
*looks worried*
*clutches chest*
*falls to the ground, gurgling*
*dies*
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:lol:
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Or:
*sees blonde girl in skimpy underwear*
*heart beats*
*heart stops beating*
*looks worried*
*clutches penis*
*falls to the ground, gurgling*
*dies happy*
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On the Superman vs. other superheroes debate, I kind of prefer the darker incarnations of Batman. Also, Firestorm.
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Wasn't Firestorm kind of a second or third tier guy?
Martian Manhunter, J'onn J'onzz(Zhahn Zones kinda slurred) now there's an interesting character.
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Why would they give him such a name? I've always found Marvel characters (that is, from thw Big Two) to be more believeable. Maybe its the whole mutant thing, I see is as very true to real life.
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Well, J'onn is from Mars(literally) and in his one of his private lives is a PI. That makes him a Martian Manhunter.
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Originally posted by Grey Wolf 2009
On the Superman vs. other superheroes debate, I kind of prefer the darker incarnations of Batman. Also, Firestorm.
There you go. Batman knew how to get pussy. Now, if we could only get a good movie out of him. Or the cartoon back. Or Batman Beyond back. :sigh:
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Originally posted by Knight Templar
There you go. Batman knew how to get pussy. Now, if we could only get a good movie out of him.
:blah:
The first movie with Keaton and Nicholson was excellent, and the second was almost as good.
Then they went shiny plastic and tity armors :doubt:
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Pfff. Batman couldn't get any good pussy.
In comic-world he got less pussy than Virtu.
The only superhero to ever get any decent amount of sweet, sweet luvin' was Super Fly, the pimptastic 70's, uber-nigga!
He was all "*****, where the **** my money?! *pimpslap*".
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Pfff. Anyway, they all pale before Astroboy. He rules, he gets all the chicks with his rocket feet, he *****slaps everybody with his rocket arms, he is so "style" with his black metal underwear. And he flies the same way Superman does. He rules. Go Astroboy!!!!!
(http://kids.nifty.com/astroboy/images/top_astroboy.gif)
Bwhehehehe.
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And this, kids, is why I hate the French.
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Come on, w/o us, the world would be boring.
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You were being sarcastic, right?
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No.
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C'mon, u know you're being sarcastic...
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hehe.
hehehehehehe
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[color=66ff00]The french are my heros when it comes to engineering. If not for them we'd still be using that utterly idiotic imperial units system the americans cling to so blindly.
That and Jean Reno kicks major ass. :nod:
[/color]
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Originally posted by J3Vr6
C'mon, u know you're being sarcastic...
W/o us, you wouldn't have credit cards either. Of course, those who have a girlfriend will curse us for that, but we can't please everybody :p
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And that's a good thing?
I guess there are some good things that are french... Lemme think... Wait, it'll come to me...
Only teasing, Nico :p
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fries
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Originally posted by Maeglamor
[color=66ff00]
That and Jean Reno kicks major ass. :nod:
[/color]
Looks like you haven't heard of Janet Reno then.
;)
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Home grown floridian, that Janet Reno...
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You mean she's latino? Or that she was born 65 years old?
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Hey! I like Astro Boy!
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Originally posted by Knight Templar
You mean she's latino? Or that she was born 65 years old?
:wtf: You know not everyone in Florida is hispanic.
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Originally posted by Bobboau
well with a name like superman, he's going to be squeaky clean, what you want is "Super Fucking Hardass Man", man of steal, **** that he's the man of depleeted Uranium, not only stronger but if you hang out with him long enough you'll become sterile and get cancer, simply by being in his proximity, and that's the way he likes it.
there he goes, if you listen carefully you can hear his battle cry...
"FUCK JOO!!!"
Nah, what you want is "Juggernaut Man", man of collapsed-core molybden,
and no pussy-ass laser pointers in his eyes, he got BFreds.
And his battle cry? "BEAMS-FREE-ALL!"
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Originally posted by Liberator
Wasn't Firestorm kind of a second or third tier guy?
Martian Manhunter, J'onn J'onzz(Zhahn Zones kinda slurred) now there's an interesting character.
Yeah, he was definitely second or third tier. MPD when he was in his Firestorm form, too.