Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Corsair on May 17, 2004, 08:28:15 pm
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Oral Sex: A Dangerous and Deadly New Trend! (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0504/oralsex.html)
:lol:
Thanks to //www.whitehouse.org and the Department of Faith for this wonderful insight.
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First person to ask if it's real or not gets a bomb in the mail.
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I've always wanted to die...
Is it real?
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an0n, man, you must be missing out in the bedroom. I'd hardly think oral sex is fake.
*runs*
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There was an actual website, IIRC, that was also called Landover Baptist or something similar, which was the most insane fundamentalist BS you've ever seen. You know, the one with Hospiah, the Kangajew.
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Originally posted by Rictor
... the Kangajew...
They finally gave Kangaskhan an evolved form?
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:lol:
(http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0504/tonguepic.jpg)
:lol:
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Oh yeah, right, give me a break :rolleyes:
Wonders where they get this stuff.
(edit) If there was a hint of truth to that, i`d be dead 19 years now. :lol:
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Originally posted by Knight Templar
They finally gave Kangaskhan an evolved form?
*smacks KT around a bit with a large magicarp*
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Originally posted by Whitelight
Oh yeah, right, give me a break :rolleyes:
Wonders where they get this stuff.
(edit) If there was a hint of truth to that, i`d be dead 19 years now. :lol:
You're not going to die, you're just going to hell!
Repent now, sinner, and be saved. Otherwise you're a homosexual and european-loving... LIBERAL!
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That is some of the funniest christian horse **** i've ever read. I wish there were more people like these idiots in the world, we all need a good laugh more often.
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How many times do I have to pount out
[size=24]LANDOVER BAPTIST IS SATIRE[/size]
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Thank you, Kazan. :nod:
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In my defence, we are talking about christians here. You cant really ever tell when its satire and when its some loony televangelist on a cash hunt.
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demon has a very good point - but i would figure everyone knows LB is satire by now
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woah, deja vu.
...and again.
here's a real Christian fundamentalist website, its been posted before however (by Shrike). Enjoy the hilarity.
http://objective.jesussave.us/
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Originally posted by Rictor's site thingy he linked to
(October 26, 2003) We are hearing reports that foreign visitors to our site are being redirected to electronic bookstores and people offering to pay to take surveys. We are not affiliated with these sites and advise you not to deal with them; they may be front organizations for cults. Although our technical staff is still looking into this issue, we strongly suspect that anti-Christian and anti-American governmental agents outside the U.S. are trying to keep our message from being heard in their lands. If you have suggested our site to a foreigner and he says he can't get through to it, warn him that he and his family are living under the scrutiny of an authoritarian regime and are in immediate spiritual -- and possibly physical -- danger!
:lol:
oh
my
god
:lol:
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(http://objective.jesussave.us/olobsban.jpg)
:D :lol:
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...That's right, new Macs are based on Darwinism! While they currently don't advertise this fact to consumers, it is well known among the computer elite, who are mostly Atheists and Pagans. Furthermore, the Darwin OS is released under an "Open Source" license, which is just another name for Communism. They try to hide all of this under a facade of shiny, "lickable" buttons, but the truth has finally come out: Apple Computers promote Godless Darwinism and Communism.
I hated Macs, now I all of the sudden have an urge to buy one. :devil:
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You gotta hand it to the fundies. They managed to link Macintosh to both Communism and Darwinism in the same paragraph. Something beyond my wildest dreams. The scary part is, I don't even know if it's an insult or not anymore.
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How is it that this site (not Landover Baptist, the actual Fundie one) hasn't been hacked yet?
Check out their links page by the way... it's scary how well stupid people seem to be able ti use the internet...
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objective.jesussave.us has ahigh probability of being satire as well
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:wtf:
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http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1001/viciousgodquiz.html
And I dont think that site is satire Kazan, unfortunatly.
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gank: well YOU'RE WRONG - i'm not speculating that it's a satire site - i KNOW it's a satire site
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*According to Landover Baptist Church records (1646 - Present Time) we were forced by the Lord Jesus to let over 1,400 Christian husbands get off Scott-Free after murdering their wives in bed. Although this might be a troubling statistic for some of us, it is really none of our business. The Good Lord writes the rules and it is our obligation not to question one jot or twiddle of His word, it is simply our duty to follow it. We are to remain obedient to God's Holy Word at all costs, and despite the pull of our carnal conscience, always remain content to have your True Christian™ hands tied by the sacred glory of God's commandments. Unless a breakthrough in Creation Science suggests otherwise.
At the end of the first item. Says it all really :D
Oh yes, and.....
(http://www.aqsx85.dsl.pipex.com/scarybiblebanner.gif)
Things like this are all over the site if you look ;)
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how do u know it's satire? huh? huh? *pokes Kazan*
Actually, this is unrelated, but did you know it's illegal to have oral sex here in Florida?
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:lol:
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j3vr6: it's lllegal to have oral, anal, or anything non-missionaryt in a lot of states
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And illegal to have gay sex in Texas, and I *think* also anal.
Kazan: I'm pretty sure Gank was being sarcastic, or at least he should have been if he had done the first few questions in the quiz...
also, I have seen nothing on that other website to suggest its satire. If it is, its much more subtle than Landover Baptist...
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LOL I actually get the pop-up when I try to go to that other fundie site. Yay, the God of science, verily he watcheth over me ;)
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Originally posted by Kazan
objective.jesussave.us has ahigh probability of being satire as well
Originally posted by Kazan
gank: well YOU'RE WRONG - i'm not speculating that it's a satire site - i KNOW it's a satire site
Looks to me like you were speculating. Anyways if it is satire its not very good.
And the quiz is from the Landover site rictor
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Rictor: the texas anti-sodomy laws were overruled by the SCOTUS
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I was speculating about jesusave.us - not LB
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I was talking about that site, pretty ****ing obvious Landover is a pisstake
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Anyone with a positive IQ who takes the most glancing look at the landover site can see it's satire.
(http://www.landoverbaptist.org/rkfd.jpg) (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ps2side.jpg) (http://www.landoverbaptist.org/FLATSIDESLICES/images/guncamp.jpg)
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(http://www.bettybowers.com/graphics/stoned.gif)
I like this one
This kinda gives the game away too
http://www.draftregistration.us/
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Apparently, **** isn't quite fundamentalist enough for some people. Read this, its quite hilarious:
http://www.formoore.com/wrong****.html
edit: Gank, I assumed you were talking about Landover, since you posted a link to it right above.
The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation [ref. 1, 2, 3] - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hatespeech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.
And this is from the real website, reffering to the prank one.
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http://www.draftregistration.us/
anybody know what happens if you register? :nervous:
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Originally posted by Knight Templar
They finally gave Kangaskhan an evolved form?
lmao
:lol:
That draft registration seems like a real site.
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(http://www.aqsx85.dsl.pipex.com/survey.gif)
:lol:
And shouldn't that be 'Yeller', not 'Yellow' ? ;)
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(http://img16.imageshack.us/img16/2922/survey.JPG)
:D
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http://www.draftregistration.us/accepted-reportforduty.asp
With a link to cheapflights.com for service from anywhere in the U.S. to Doha, Qatar. :lol:
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YEAH!! GO ATHEISTS AND PAGANS (though macs still suck)!!! Witches are cool too (i dated one for a while).
Like Isaac Asimov, i prefer to be called a Rationalist, not an Atheist (no-religion) or a pagan (crazy celtic-type person) I am one who reaches decisions through reason. Hence, my argueing with my parents all the time.
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But what about us upper-lower-middle class people?
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Originally posted by Turambar
or a pagan (crazy celtic-type person)
We're not all crazy celtish types you know :)
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Originally posted by Kalfireth
We're not all crazy celtish types you know :)
Yeah some pagans aren't celtish. :p
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my apologies to any pagan or celtic-type people.
Im curious: Are there any other muslims/people who loosely follow islam in here other than me?
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No offence taken of course - I'm not stupid enough to get upset over being called a Celt (or crazy.. which happens a lot more than you'd think).
karajorma...
...ha.. ha.. ha.. ;)
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Nah, they're all either Christian Fundamentalists or violent atheists.
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What, you don't sacrifice women anymore? :(
Goddamn Christianity, taking all that's pure and good from us.
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We don't?
****. That explains the armed response team and all those helicopters outside.
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Originally posted by Ace
You're not going to die, you're just going to hell!
Repent now, sinner, and be saved. Otherwise you're a homosexual and european-loving... LIBERAL!
I should have explained that it was with my wife, of 19 years :nod: I see nothing wrong with a little furburger now and then..
I know thats a little more imformation than you`d like to hear, but I had to make it perfectly clear that, i`m not gay :p
Now, if i`m a sinner, so be it :drevil: