Hard Light Productions Forums

Modding, Mission Design, and Coding => The Modding Workshop => Topic started by: Krackers87 on July 23, 2004, 02:40:05 am

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Krackers87 on July 23, 2004, 02:40:05 am

Since there have been constant discussions on the phalicness of many mods that have been made here at hlp, i decided to make my own little parody, if you do not like adult or mildly crude humor, do not continue please.



Picture 1 (http://hades-combine.com/Upload/uploads/oen151.jpg)

Picture 2 (http://hades-combine.com/Upload/uploads/oen15.jpg)

Tech Description:

Spoiler:

The GTF Phalic is the latest top of the line interceptor in the Terran fleet, armed with the latest in weaponry and systems.

The primary armament of the phalic is the top of the line Jethric Interface laZer (J.I.Z.) which uses a neaural system that connects to the brain through the SPinal Leviance Overture Operation and Definitive Gear Emulator  (S.P.L.O.O.D.G.E.) to give the pilot ultimate acuracy to delivering the thousands of projectiles carried in every shot.

In the way of Missles the Phalic mounts the best of the best, the Centurion Universal Missle (C.U.M.) has Shield Piercing and ultra Seeking technology, giving the pilot the power to land a blow in an enemys cockpit from 2k meters away. With the high explosives carried within the warhead and the anti premature detonation device (the warhead will only blow its load when the tip is stimulated sufficently from direct contact), take it from us, C.U.M. in your face makes for a verry bad day.

The engines, Booster And Lightweight Leviance system (B.A.L.L.S.) give the phalic top notch speed of over 110 m/s. All the enemy will see is the blur of the phalics massive shaft but by then it will be to late as the phalic will already have let its massive load loose into the target  and the enemy will run home limping from the pain it will suffer as no other ship of its kind has the defence system capable of accomadating anything close to what the phalic can deliver. While The size of the BALLS Have caused problems in the past where the ship was to cumborsome, or it would pose such a wide target that pilots were being constantly struck in the BALLS these errors have been fixed in the latest line of phalics, also the incedent were one pilots BALLS fell completely off during a test run was a completely isolated incident, and should not be of further concern.

The one only weakness of the phalic is that because of the carbonite armour it uses, without extra shielding a Stiffiled Transistory Drill round (S.T.D.) can penetrate its hull causing serious damge that can rarely be reparied. It is advised that all Phalic pilots stay away from S.T.D.s until the new Chrmotie Ondur Nanite Derivative Of Malius Shield (C.O.N.D.O.M.S.) are installed on the new phalics. It is always a bad idea to risk an encounter with S.T.D.s without the proper C.O.N.D.O.M.S. installed.

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Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Fineus on July 23, 2004, 02:44:31 am

Moved to the correct forum. ://Kalfireth.[/color]

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Krackers87 on July 23, 2004, 02:47:19 am

Quote

Originally posted by Kalfireth
Moved to the correct forum. ://Kalfireth.[/color]

err, you know this isnt actually a mod, but whatever....

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: JR2000Z on July 23, 2004, 02:48:21 am

:blah: :blah: :blah: :blah: :blah: :wtf: :ick:

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Trivial Psychic on July 23, 2004, 03:34:35 am

Looks like someone was inspired by Dr. Evil's rocket in "The Spy Who Shagged Me".

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Bobboau on July 23, 2004, 03:56:36 am

or the ambiguously gay duo (http://mrt300.ods.org/snl/view.php?agd)

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: TopAce on July 23, 2004, 04:18:48 am

The side view looks as if this model wouldn't be a fighter.

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: an0n on July 23, 2004, 06:05:07 am

Awww, look. Krackers thinks he's me (http://www.fattonys.com/images/bhip.jpg).

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Nico on July 23, 2004, 06:19:45 am

Yeah. You're less lucky than Krackers, you got banned for your GTF dildo :p

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: an0n on July 23, 2004, 06:22:53 am

And the GTT Whore....and a few others......and the Todd-O-Love

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Rictor on July 23, 2004, 06:39:01 am

Yeah, well, Krackers did it better.

Alpha 1, see that destroyer over there? Go attack it, and remember: aim for total penetration..

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: vyper on July 23, 2004, 07:01:41 am

I bet Pink Bannanas are involved in this...

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Knight Templar on July 24, 2004, 07:39:31 pm

Better than chocolate bananas...

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Kazan on July 24, 2004, 08:16:12 pm

*gives a stern look*

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: vyper on July 24, 2004, 08:26:17 pm

*gives a stern beating*

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Kazan on July 24, 2004, 08:29:35 pm

dbl pst

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Kazan on July 24, 2004, 08:29:49 pm

hey he's my slave! :P

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Knight Templar on July 24, 2004, 09:11:04 pm

/me gives a stern banana

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: WMCoolmon on July 25, 2004, 02:59:57 am

*is amazed that the description actually makes sense.*
*Is also amazed that the poster wasn't KT.*
*Is disturbed that he ever read the first post of the thread out of morbid curiosity. :p*

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Knight Templar on July 25, 2004, 03:01:30 am

:wtf:

Do you associate me with the Penis (:thepimp: ) or do you associate me with poor modeling (:doubt: )?

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: WMCoolmon on July 25, 2004, 03:24:36 am

Actually it's more due to your subtle references to copulating with Bobb's Deimos model. :p

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Knight Templar on July 25, 2004, 03:25:30 am

Did you not see that thing? In one word: Wowzers! :eek:

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: WMCoolmon on July 25, 2004, 03:27:51 am

Which 'thing'? :p

Title: GTF Phalic
Post by: Fineus on July 25, 2004, 03:36:10 am

Enough spam.