Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: kasperl on July 27, 2004, 01:02:52 pm
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http://www.preparingforemergencies.co.uk/
This site is absolutely hilarious.
It's down most of the time, mind, but still hilarious. Especially after reading the real site first.
http://www.preparingforemergencies.gov.uk/
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..and this is from the real website
You may have vital information. If you hear, see or come across anything that may be linked with terrorist activity, please tell the police. They want to hear from you.
Terrorists need...
A place to live: Are you suspicious about any tenants or guests?
To plan: Have you seen anyone pay an unusual amount of attention to security measures at any location?
Money: Individuals may set up bogus bank accounts, copy credit cards, return goods for large cash refunds.
Equipment: If you are a retailer, do you have any cause to be suspicious about anything being bought?
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You should see the TV ads...
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Equipment: If you are a retailer, do you have any cause to be suspicious about anything being bought?
Hello? Yes? I just sold a bunch of A-rabb men some TNT and a Tanker Truck. Theys done said they's goin' north. I's is suspiscious.
...Mein Gott.
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I was hoping someone would do a parody of that. :D
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If you are trapped in debris:
Swear profusely.
Try not to die.
:D
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No - - - - - tell me this isn't true! :shaking:
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It's British, so out with the redneck accents and in with the, well, what's a stupid Brit?
As for the TV ads, anyone got a VCR handy and acces to more then BBC 1 and 2?
(Perhaps a copy of the latest Top Gear season would be possible, too?)
No?
Thought as much, but thought I'd try
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Originally posted by kasperl
It's British, so out with the redneck accents and in with the, well, what's a stupid Brit?
Brummies.
Or Scousers.
Or anyone further south than Sheffield...
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Reduce fire hazards in your home. Children are the worst fire hazards; consider giving them up for adoption.
Fit and maintain smoke alarms - at least one on every floor. But if they go off every time you cook bacon, like ours do, just take the batteries out.
Most fire deaths and injuries occur while people are sleeping. Plan an escape route should a fire break out at night. Here's a hint: throw your children out of the window FIRST, then follow.
Ha ha it's true.
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"If a door feels hot, do not open it, as it probably means there is a hot hot disco party on the other side. "
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Originally posted by Petrarch of the VBB
Brummies.
Your thinking of the black country accent which is horrendous and is from the Wolverhampton/Dudley/Lye/Stourbridge area, the Birmingham accent itself isn't actually that bad.
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Originally posted by 01010
Your thinking of the black country accent which is horrendous and is from the Wolverhampton/Dudley/Lye/Stourbridge area, the Birmingham accent itself isn't actually that bad.
Put it this way - where does the guy who does the Halifax advert come from?
...
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In all fairness they should have someone from Halifax.
Like me.
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Does this site sound like Monty Python - or is it just my gut feeling. ;)
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Wow... Why don't they just go out with it and say the best way to prevent yourself from becoming a terrorist victim?
1. Do not take public transport.
2. Do not travel.
3. Do not go to a public area.
4. Refrain from sleeping, and if you must, turn off all electrical equipment if you do.
5. Report everything.
Ah hell, why not quit drinking tap water as well. Who knows if they poisoned the public water supply.
Like they say, stay home, watch tv....
...Drink bottled water. Believe the media, they KNOW what they're talking about. Stick to CNN ("Be the first to know"). Blah blah blah. :rolleyes:
How many of you see this as doing more harm than good?
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There was a poll on one of the news channels yesterday. 70% of people said they'd ignore all this "Advice"
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I don't see the point in all this. I'm sure anyone living in Blighty was more likely to get hurt through terrorisim during the height of the Northern Ireland troubles. (I live in Manchester BTW)
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Originally posted by magatsu1
I don't see the point in all this. I'm sure anyone living in Blighty was more likely to get hurt through terrorisim during the height of the Northern Ireland troubles. (I live in Manchester BTW)
True, but the IRA was only really into bombing places, and there's only so much the public can do to be wary of that. Bio and Chemical attacks are a different matter, then the 'stay indoors' etc advice is useful.
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except for two small facts:
1.England has never, as far as I know, been attacked by foreign terrorists (excluding IRA).
2.No terrorists organization, including Al Qaeda et al, has ever used chemical or biological weapons as far as I know.
But the rest of the website, the real website, is just common sense advice. Its what we've all been told since Grade 3, but I guess that how much faith the governent has in its citizens. Oh well, its a nice gesture...or whatever.
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[q]1.England has never, as far as I know, been attacked by foreign terrorists (excluding IRA).[/q]
Neither has the rest of the UK. :p
[q]but I guess that how much faith the governent has in its citizens.[/q]
I take it as a compliment, they obviously think we haven't been scared enough with thier advice and alerts thus far.
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Originally posted by Rictor
2.No terrorists organization, including Al Qaeda et al, has ever used chemical or biological weapons as far as I know.
IIRC, a Japanese group released sarin in a subway.
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oh yeah, I remeber that. Well, I stand corrected.
...though IIRC, the amount of people who died was way below even the best-case-scenario as predicted by "the experts", which means that all their other estimates are as inaccurate.
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The japanese cult were idiots. The next bunch to try it might not be.
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al-Queda attacks UK:
(1) We all kiss our arses goodbye because they're set off a nuke
(2) They set off a sizable bio/chem/dirty nuke attack in London, and we have chaos for a while but then recover pretty well within a month. Then we remind the middle eastern nations that thier old landlord is back. With a vengeance. And we've got those pesky warships again.
What can be done to prevent all this?
****. All.
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Only we haven't 'cos all the Armed Forces have suffered cutbacks.
Take alittle longer than a month to recober from a nuke though.
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[q]Take alittle longer than a month to recober from a nuke though.[/q]
I said a small dirty bomb in the second possiblity.
Believe me, if we needed it we could muster the troops.
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If they attacked the UK, it would be the most stupid thing they could do. Not because of any Military fallout, which would be far more unpleasant than many people suspect, but because of the simple fact that if they set off a Dirty bomb in London, they would probably kill as many Muslims, Seikhs and Hindis and they would Christians. Including several prominent figures in the Islamic, and several other, faiths. It would be a suicide note to the Muslim world.
My own fear is for Car bombs and that sort of level, something localised.
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Originally posted by Rictor
except for two small facts:
1.England has never, as far as I know, been attacked by foreign terrorists (excluding IRA).
2.No terrorists organization, including Al Qaeda et al, has ever used chemical or biological weapons as far as I know.
But the rest of the website, the real website, is just common sense advice. Its what we've all been told since Grade 3, but I guess that how much faith the governent has in its citizens. Oh well, its a nice gesture...or whatever.
Iranian embassy siege? bit iffy, granted. Depends on your definition of 'terrorist' (but if hijackings count, I guess this can).
But yeah, the US is a far bigger profile target than the UK. Methinks that's why we suck up to them - so we can hide behind them ;)
Anyone thick enough to actually need to read that website, shouldn't be allowed to. Natural selection in action ;7