Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Crazy_Ivan80 on August 04, 2004, 06:06:05 pm
-
http://www.cryptoclast.org/Opinion/religion/create/
here's mine: Freespace Religion
From the most Vasudan regions of the spiritual plane, I have channeled the disembodied spirit of Bosch, bringing to you the wisdom and Terran of the lost city of Beta Aquilae. To usher in the New Age of Humans you must heed my words and create stuff. The time is soon when the space fishies of our galactic cousins will return and our collective bigness will reach critical mass. The highest frequencies of the universe will spiral through the arm chakras of the worthy, and our 3rd head shall be opened. But first we must look deep inside and accept our inner headz. We must feel the inner headz, become the inner headz, wuv it as though it was a spaceship. We must accept our karmic past, and, as our yogi master, Bastion, always says 'The true form of a destroyer is actually a red beer , but enlightenment is like a burlesk station on the wind'. For there is no right or wrong, no hull or anti-hull, only one great and omnipresent engine.
-
In the beginning God created the HLP and the FreeSpace. The FreeSpace was without Vasudans and Shivan. Then God said let there be Earth and there was Earth. And God saw the Earth, that it was Ancient. On the 6th day God created the first man, Bosch. And God saw Bosch, that he was stupid. God then took one of Bosch's hands and made the first woman, Petrarch. And God said you shall not eat of the hamster of Colossus for if you do you shall surely obliderate. But unfortunately a wily rats tricked Petrarch into eating of the hamster of Colossus while God wasn't looking. He eventually found out and kicked them out of the garden. Bosch and Petrarch then had two sons, Cane and Able. Cane was a user of lasers, while Able was a herder of hamsters. Cane then gave God an offering of Shivan fighters and Able gave Him an offering of missiles. But God really preferred the missiles so Cane with destroyed Able in the fields. For that God cursed Cane to use lasers forever.
omg :lol:
EDIT:
got an even better one
From the most Shivan regions of the spiritual plane, I have channeled the disembodied spirit of Alpha 1, bringing to you the wisdom and Aquitaine of the lost city of Beta Aquilae. To usher in the New Age of feet you must heed my words and destroy with. The time is soon when the space bombers of our galactic cousins will return and our collective stupidness will reach critical mass. The highest frequencies of the universe will spiral through the hand chakras of the worthy, and our 3rd leg shall be opened. But first we must look deep inside and accept our inner Vasudan. We must feel the inner Vasudan, become the inner Vasudan, survive it as though it was a Lucifer. We must accept our karmic past, and, as our yogi master, Bosch, always says 'The true form of a Sathanas is actually a wild Dragon , but enlightenment is like a silly FreeSpace on the wind'. For there is no right or wrong, no HLP or anti-HLP, only one great and omnipresent SCP.
-
I think I have the best one yet:D
The SCP religion
From the most well-designed regions of the spiritual plane, I have channeled the disembodied spirit of The [V] Gods, bringing to you the wisdom and coding of the lost city of Freespace. To usher in the New Age of Hardware Transformation and Lighting you must heed my words and send feedback. The time is soon when the space results of our galactic cousins will return and our collective coolness will reach critical mass. The highest frequencies of the universe will spiral through the C++ chakras of the worthy, and our 3rd Engine shall be opened. But first we must look deep inside and accept our inner source code. We must feel the inner source code, become the inner source code, upgrade it as though it was a century-old computer. We must accept our karmic past, and, as our yogi master, Daveb, always says 'The true form of a Interplay license is actually a used piece of tissue paper , but enlightenment is like a really cool stenciled shadow on the wind'. For there is no right or wrong, no bug or anti-bug, only one great and omnipresent Volition logo.
-
the no such religion religion
-
totaly random **** religion
In the beginning God created the An0n and the Drew. The Drew was without freedom fighters and hairy. Then God said let there be fusion and there was fusion. And God saw the fusion, that it was firey red hot. On the 6th day God created the first man, Eric Clapton. And God saw Eric Clapton, that he was damned-****ing. God then took one of Eric Clapton's Thumbs and made the first woman, TeeRexasaurus. And God said you shall not eat of the Rock of keyboard for if you do you shall surely rape. But unfortunately a wily Kazans pet fishie tricked TeeRexasaurus into eating of the Rock of keyboard while God wasn't looking. He eventually found out and kicked them out of the garden. Eric Clapton and TeeRexasaurus then had two sons, Cane and Able. Cane was a castrateer of NAKED WOMEN, while Able was a herder of plants. Cane then gave God an offering of brazen ants and Able gave Him an offering of rockets. But God really preferred the rockets so Cane verily beated to hell Able in the fields. For that God cursed Cane to castrate NAKED WOMEN forever.
-
I might convert to the SCP religion :D
-
Originally posted by Kazan
the no such religion religion
:blah: