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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Rictor on August 26, 2004, 12:00:34 pm

Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Rictor on August 26, 2004, 12:00:34 pm
Shocking news folks! Junior terrorists (protestors) have dastardly plans in store for the RNC! And whats worse, the city of New York is appeasing these would be terrorists and murderers, instead of dealing with them swiftly and brutally, like Guliani would have done.

http://www.newhampshireprimary.com/columns.html?body=By%20Bernadette%20Malone

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NEXT WEEK, people who hate Republicans plan to release swarms of mice in New York City to terrorize delegates to the National Republican Convention.

Republican-haters plan on dressing up as RNC volunteers, and giving false directions to little blue hair ladies from Kansas, sending them into the sectors of New York City that are unfit for human habitation.

They plan on throwing pies and Lord knows what else at Republican visitors to the city. Prostitutes with AIDS plan to seduce Republican visitors, and discourage the use of condoms, according to liberal journalist Ted Rall.

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Perhaps the Department of Homeland Security should hand out buttons at the convention that say “Peaceful Islamic Radical.” All the scary-looking guys with fertilizer on their shoes, wires coming out of their pockets, and duct-tape visible under their shirts can walk around with these buttons, enjoying nice-priced margaritas and reduced-admission live sex shows before they blow up Madison Square Garden.

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New Yorkers understand — and respect — one thing: strength. That’s why Rudy Giuliani, a New York City native, did so well as mayor. He flexed his muscles early, arrested petty criminals, and turned a deaf ear to cries that he was violating the civil rights of squeegee men and other vagrants who terrorized residents and tourists.
...
Bloomberg  is calling for a sensitive war on protestor-terrorists, the way John Kerry is naively calling for a more sensitive war on international terrorists. Instead of manufacturing smiley-face buttons to pin on potentially unruly protestors, Bloomberg should be manufacturing plastic handcuffs.
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: vyper on August 26, 2004, 12:08:08 pm
Phear the hookers.
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Kosh on August 26, 2004, 06:26:54 pm
Is this a joke?
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Ford Prefect on August 26, 2004, 06:37:23 pm
Either this is a joke, or this woman really did just fall off a turnip truck.
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Ace on August 26, 2004, 06:50:49 pm
Holy crap! Armageddon is here! Pull out yer bibles and crosses kids, because it's-
MORALITY ALERT: HOT PINK![/size]
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Ghostavo on August 26, 2004, 07:00:05 pm
:lol:
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Rictor on August 26, 2004, 07:03:54 pm
No, she's being completely serious. And whats even stranger is that she's writing for a paper called the Union Leader.

yes folks, people really are this stupid.
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Ford Prefect on August 26, 2004, 07:08:44 pm
But why, Rictor?! WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE THIS STUPID?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND![/b]
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Rictor on August 26, 2004, 07:25:12 pm
Why clearly my good man, as in all thngs, the answer lies with science. A fantastic new area of analysis has been deveoped by the leading minds of our time, and I dare say it is the most accurate metric we have for guaging an individual's mental capacity. I'm speaking of course of the field of Phrenology, the most modern of psychoanalytical techniques. You see m'lad, she's in possession of a head not disimilar to that of an average midwife. Clearly, she is not suited to such cranial tasks as journalism. As a result of her peasant heritage, she has none of the favourble attributes of a distinguished and civilized mind, which is reflected in her writing.

Elementary my dear Ford, elementary.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/upload/thumb/d/d7/250px-Phrenologychart.png)
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Blue Lion on August 26, 2004, 09:17:09 pm
Do you know the secret Junior Terrorist handshake? It's in the handbook.
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Flipside on August 26, 2004, 09:38:54 pm
That's the Mason's handshake isn't it? ;)
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Corsair on August 26, 2004, 10:10:29 pm
I'm going to the convention...nobody better try to pull any **** while I'm there.
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Flipside on August 26, 2004, 10:13:31 pm
Keep 'em peeled for mice and whores and you should be fine ;)
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Rictor on August 26, 2004, 10:43:46 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Blue Lion
Do you know the secret Junior Terrorist handshake? It's in the handbook.


(http://www.kolardesign.com/cards/200peacesign.jpg)

Thats our secret sign, its how we identify each other.

And if you come across any fascist pigs, just flip it around and show em' who boss.
Title: Republican convention terror alert!
Post by: Kosh on August 26, 2004, 10:56:12 pm
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and turned a deaf ear to cries that he was violating the civil rights of squeegee men


Who were the squeegee men?