Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: aldo_14 on September 17, 2004, 07:16:08 am
-
(http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40080000/jpg/_40080790_ivanman2_203.jpg)
he has the power of.....one man!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/southern_counties/3664996.stm
-
Looks like a terrorist to me....;)
-
Let's nuke his house just to be sure!
-
You know. That's exactly the kind of **** I'd get up to if I were an eccentric millionaire :D
Well that and building a secret lair in an extinct volcano and plotting to take over the world. :)
-
It's always a volcano.... what's that all about?
-
Originally posted by Clave
It's always a volcano.... what's that all about?
Cheap central heating.
See, you'd think an Antartic ice base would be ideal, but noooo.......
-
You hav some objection to being able to throw your opponents into bubbling pools of lava?
Besides the sulphurous gases cover my occasional bouts of wind quite well :D
-
you'd think evil organisations would be a bit more financially prudent, though. I mean, why not just rent some office space in, I dunno, Redmond?
-
Works for me. Some kind of giant laser is of course, compulsory....
-
Originally posted by Clave
Works for me. Some kind of giant laser is of course, compulsory....
Yes. Lasers are good (http://funwavs.com/wavfile.php?quote=248&sound=260)
Plus a room specially designed (http://funwavs.com/wavfile.php?quote=221&sound=260) for the purposes of placing your enemy in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate & exotic death. (http://funwavs.com/wavfile.php?quote=220&sound=260)
-
Brighton eh? Hurrah! I've got someone to take photos of! And all for the price of a train trip there and back. Bonus.
-
Originally posted by karajorma
You know. That's exactly the kind of **** I'd get up to if I were an eccentric millionaire :D
heh, me too. maybe.
-
It doesn't have to be in a volcano. Mine isn't.
PRESENTING: BLITZERLAND'S GUIDE TO SECRET LAIRS
Let us start with the basics.
1.) Choose a location that no one will think of searching. Several locations could be:
A- Under your house
B- Under the ocean (bring snorkels...maybe rent some air)
C- Within someone else's lair (always effective)
D- Somewhere so obvious, no one will look (inside Lincoln Memorial, perhaps?)
2.) Make sure your lair is effectively camo-ed.
A- Cover it with grass clippings
B- Bury it
C- Post a sign declaring "free used beer" near your lair
D- Print this page out, shred it, use peices to cover lair
E- Put a huge rock on top of it
3.) Equip your lair with all the necessary stockings. You'll need:
A- Lethal weapons
B- A laboratory
C- A home theater (a quiet one, so people don't hear you playing "Matrix" at full blast)
D- A bedroom (duh)
E- A cool looking room where you can throw gigantic parties with your lackeys
F- Whatever else i've left out
4.) Recruit lackeys. Look for people with the following traits:
A- Gullible
B- Loyal
C- Stupid and worthless (you'll need comedy relief)
D- Knows CPR (if you choke on spittle while laughing demonically)
E- Strong
5.) You'll require a way of defending your lair if attacked. Try:
A- Littering the area with plasma mines (be careful getting to lair)
B- Sprinkle defense cats around your lair (careful...rates are high nowadays)
C- Play "Cher" at full blast, all the time (you'll need ear plugs)
D- Bribe goverment (they need money nowadays)
E- Hire mercs (can be expensive, if at all possible, do step F instead)
F- Train lackeys in self-defense
END
-
Or you could just, you know, build one on Downing Street.
...oh wait.
-
Oh, one final note. Whatever the crap you do, don't leave clues whenever you commit a crime. That's just plain stupid. Everyone always does that. :mad:
-
Vulcanoes are great for lairs. not only are they self heating, but you can harness the geo thermal power to energize your doomsday device, and for general running of the complex.
-
True. Very true.
But if you build underwater, you can use hydroelectric plants. Think of it! Way more power than geothermal (especially when completly submerged in profitable water ).
Besides, what if your volcano erupts? :p
-
I prefer a spacestation orbiting Pluto. I want some gawddamn privacy when I'm building my uber weapon o' d00m™!
-
I plan on using a "time machine™" to go back in time and then building a "giant laser™" on the moon which will turn it into a "death star™" I will then hold the world ransom for... [:drevil:]One Million Dollars™[/:drevil:]
-
Ah, the dreaded "Alan Parsons Project™"
-
Wasn't there a site that "sold" "secret lairs", "weapons of d00m", etc...?
-
the only man who can stop me now is "Austin Danger Powers™"
-
Originally posted by Blitzerland
But if you build underwater, you can use hydroelectric plants. Think of it! Way more power than geothermal (especially when completly submerged in profitable water ).
only if it's in an extremely fast flowing river.
-
Ghostavo, I think you're thinking of www.villainsupply.com
-
yep, that's it :D
-
Originally posted by Tiara
I prefer a spacestation orbiting Pluto. I want some gawddamn privacy when I'm building my uber weapon o' d00m™!
Kinda expensive. Way too cold there.
Additonally, it is always benefical to have multiple lairs, in case someone tracks down and destroys one of them
"Sir! We've lost lair 1!" cried the foolish lackey. "So what, you simple fool?!" cried Blitzerland, "we can simply fall back to lair 2! Or maybe lair 3! I prefer lair 4, actually. Really warm in Egypt, you know."
The benefits are huge (maybe build a summer lair for when it gets too cold). Yup. Lairs are my thing. Yup. :cool:
Too bad I can't find half of them. Maybe it was a mistake not to tell any of my lackeys where it was. Yeah, that was smart. :)
-
The other advantage of Volcanos is that when you leave the planet, just before your Doomsday device goes off, you can set the Volcano off and have one last bit of fun watching the locals flee in terror ;)
-
Originally posted by Blitzerland
Besides, what if your volcano erupts? :p
That's why you choose an extinct volcano :p
-
Hmm, sounds oddly familiar, I'm sure I've seen that on one of PCGs many last pages.
-
That guy is a ****ing genious.
-
Originally posted by Fergus
Hmm, sounds oddly familiar, I'm sure I've seen that on one of PCGs many last pages.
Your memory serves you well.........
(actually, it was a competition for 'Most useless superhero' to tie in with the release of Freedom Force, IIRC)
-
Originally posted by karajorma
That's why you choose an extinct volcano :p
You mean like the Etna? ;7 :lol:
-
Forget volcanoes and planets, what you need is an inconspicous cottage in the countryside with lots of escape routes:
(http://homepage.mac.com/clave/misc/mybaselower.gif)
(http://homepage.mac.com/clave/misc/mybaseupper.gif)
(http://homepage.mac.com/clave/misc/mybasesection.gif)
-
Aren't people going to notice steam coming off the pool in the middle of winter? :p
-
Originally posted by karajorma
Aren't people going to notice steam coming off the pool in the middle of winter? :p
Never mind that, if it's underground in an inconspicous location in the countryside, how are you minions going to find their way to the job interview?
-
I have to make some changes...
-
Huge black building with no windows and badass guards armed with G36K's would be so much better.
-
Heh, may as well put road signs up 'Evil Geniuses' Secret Lair, this way'. Much better to have something looking innocuous and ineffective that suddenly becomes a threat to a nations survival.
Works for politicians ;)