Hard Light Productions Forums

Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Corsair on November 08, 2004, 07:13:57 pm

Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Corsair on November 08, 2004, 07:13:57 pm
Post your favorite bad/corny pickup lines.

My personal favorite:
Guy: Did it hurt?
Girl: What?
Guy: Did it hurt?
Girl: What??
Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cuz you must be an angel...

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Rictor on November 08, 2004, 07:15:12 pm
"Back in old country, I would not have to ask"
Title: wanna b ur lovr
Post by: Galemp on November 08, 2004, 07:24:12 pm
I don't have a library card / But do you mind if I check you out?
I like your skeletal structure, baby / You're an ectomorph, no doubt

Your face is real symmetrical / And your nostils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl / So I could see you twice

Girl, you smell like Fritos / That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt / The elastic in my underwear

I'll bet you're magically delicious / Like a bowl of Lucky Charms
You'd look like Venus de Milo / If I just cut off your arms
What I'm tryin' to say is ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

Do you believe in love at first sight / Or should I walk by again?
My love for you is like diarrhea / I just can't hold it in

Stop, drop and roll now / 'Cause baby, you're on fire
I'll bet your outfit / Makes a lot of noise in the drier

You're absolutely perfect / Don't speak now, you might spoil it
Your eyes are even bluer / Than the water in my toilet

Say, has anyone ever told you / You've got Yugoslavian hands?
No, of course not, that would be stupid / Just forget I ever brought it up
The point I'm trying to make is ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

I wanna be your Krakatoa / Let my lava flow all over you
I wanna be your anaconda / And your heat-seeking missile too

I wanna be your beef burrito / Am I making this perfectly clear?
I wanna be your love torpedo / Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?
Uh huh

I hope I'm not being forward / But do you mind if I chew on your butt?
You can tell me truthfully / Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what?

There just aren't enough o's in "smooth" / To desribe how smooth I am
Maybe you've seen my picture / It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!"

My lips are registered weapons / Can I invade your personal space?
You must have fallen from heaven / That would explain how you messed up your face

Well, how'd you get through security? / 'Cause, baby, you're the bomb
I'd like to take you home right now / So you can meet my mom
Because I ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Girl, you must be Jamaican / Because Jamaican me crazy
Girl, you must be Jamaican (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Because Jamaican me crazy (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: vyper on November 08, 2004, 07:28:27 pm
Would you like to see my Corba?
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: JR2000Z on November 08, 2004, 07:38:49 pm
Haven't I seen you on a porn site before?

*from an interestinig Freshman year incidient*
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Corsair on November 08, 2004, 07:53:12 pm
Quote
Originally posted by JR2000Z
Haven't I seen you on a porn site before?

*from an interestinig Freshman year incidient*
Tell the story! ;)
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: DragonClaw on November 08, 2004, 07:59:42 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Corsair
Tell the story! ;)


Looking for a guarenteed quick arousal? :p
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Bobboau on November 08, 2004, 08:00:13 pm
"hey, I've been stalking yo for the last seven moths and..."
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Nuke on November 08, 2004, 08:04:51 pm
i find little use for pickup lines. treat em like a friend firs then start throwing on complements, you can speed up if ya get to first base. now it is apropriate to buy her flowers, little stuffed kittens and so on. dont think of your new find as a sex object, at least until she starts to grip you hard or uses her fingernails on your back when you make out. if ya let it flow from there you might get some. remember, be a gentalman (not a genitalman) and dont forget to wear a raincoat. it may takes weeks, but theres no rush.
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Rictor on November 08, 2004, 08:08:03 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Bobboau
"hey, I've been stalking yo for the last seven moths and..."

We demand the sun of one million doolars.

:lol: :lol:
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: jdjtcagle on November 08, 2004, 08:28:18 pm
Your Daddy still in jail?

Huh? For what?

Stealing the stars out of Heaven and putting them in your eyes!
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Bobboau on November 08, 2004, 08:39:20 pm
I think my keyboard's battery is running low or something. I've been doing crap like that all day.
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: ionia23 on November 08, 2004, 08:43:25 pm
I can tell you what the best pickup lines ever.  One overheard and one directed at moi.

Overheard:
--------------

"I don't know who you are but I'm going to miss you".


Directed at moi while watching a couple have a screaming match

---------------
Me: I hate it when couples fight
Her: but you can have lots of makeup sex
Me: True
Her:  I bet we'd fight a lot.

Rock.
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: phreak on November 08, 2004, 08:46:08 pm
Quote
Originally posted by ionia23

Directed at moi while watching a couple have a screaming match

---------------
Me: I hate it when couples fight
Her: but you can have lots of makeup sex
Me: True
Her:  I bet we'd fight a lot.

Rock.


;7 :drevil:
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Jetmech Jr. on November 08, 2004, 08:49:35 pm
:lol: ionia, you lucky bastard.
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Night Hammer on November 08, 2004, 11:06:51 pm
"I want some butt"

a teamate of mine when out at the club, BTW he's brilliant:rolleyes:
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Rictor on November 08, 2004, 11:21:10 pm
peh, mines the best.
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Drew on November 08, 2004, 11:22:36 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Nuke
i find little use for pickup lines. treat em like a friend firs then start throwing on complements, you can speed up if ya get to first base. now it is apropriate to buy her flowers, little stuffed kittens and so on. dont think of your new find as a sex object, at least until she starts to grip you hard or uses her fingernails on your back when you make out. if ya let it flow from there you might get some. remember, be a gentalman (not a genitalman) and dont forget to wear a raincoat. it may takes weeks, but theres no rush.


weakling. a decent well placed line in the movie theater = score
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Nuke on November 08, 2004, 11:35:17 pm
you need to stop dating crack whores
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: HeX on November 09, 2004, 01:00:09 am
I was playing NWN and my Orc  character with intelligence of basicly -1 had a pickupline that had me laughing for quite a while.

To girl in bar: "How 'bout you an' me make two-butt beast?"
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Black Wolf on November 09, 2004, 02:26:09 am
"Wanna go home and ****?"

I've never used it, but an extremely drunk friend did several times one night. Never once got slapped for it interestingly enough - I think they thought he was joking.
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: ShadowWolf_IH on November 09, 2004, 02:32:46 am
I'm an electrician, would you like me to check your shorts?

i got a letter from santa today, he said you were a naughty girl.

just hand her a card that says "smile if you want to have sex"  she will smile...it's bad but a good ice breaker

worst line ever......
you remind me of my grandmother, but i didn't want to do her.
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Martinus on November 09, 2004, 06:30:55 am
[color=66ff00]Pickup lines are just a bad idea, you look like you haven't anything genuinely interesting to say.

That being said, they can be funny. My personal favourite is:
You're like a championship Bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
[/color]
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Unknown Target on November 09, 2004, 07:32:19 am
I agree, pickup lines = dumb :D
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Corsair on November 09, 2004, 08:52:54 am
Which is why they're funny. I'm not advocating their use, just saying that there are some good ones out there...and some funny stories sometimes.
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: an0n on November 09, 2004, 09:14:17 am
Mine aren't so much chat-up lines as they are horrifically blunt one-liners:

"Nice tits!"

"I might bend you over that sink and **** you ragged."

"Has anyone ever told you you've got an absolutely awesome ass?"

"I think we should go back to your house and see how many packets of tic-tacs we can smoke before end up in bed together."
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Janos on November 09, 2004, 09:26:49 am
Me: "You have a beutiful skin. I would look good wearing it."
She: "What.."
Me: "You also have beautiful eyes. They would look good in a jar on my shelf."
She: grrr baby
Spoiler:
It worked, once. Another attempts have not been very... successful.
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Ford Prefect on November 09, 2004, 03:49:51 pm
"Wanna play a game called Peal Harbor? I lie back and you blow the hell outta me?"

So bad....
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: mrfun on November 09, 2004, 09:54:05 pm
I must be butter 'cause I'm on a roll!
Title: Bad Pickup Lines
Post by: Nuke on November 09, 2004, 10:45:43 pm
not really a pickup line but...
am i in the right hole, its kinda tight
:D