Hard Light Productions Forums

Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: .::Tin Can::. on December 05, 2004, 06:04:11 pm

Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: .::Tin Can::. on December 05, 2004, 06:04:11 pm: Found this a long time ago when Lt. Cannonfodder gave it to me on my first time here:

Quote
Welcome to HLP. There are exits to the left and rear. Do not attempt to use them. Under your seat you will find empty beer cans, cookie crumbs, corpses of newbies, dog eared dungeon Porn mags left by Shrike... oh, and a Flamethrower. Unfortunately, we're out of napalm, so you'll have to bludgeon people to death with them.

In the event of serious conflict, there are plasma rifles in the forward locker, though these can only be opened by an Admin, [V], God, or Hyperintelligent shade of the colour Blue. If, for whatever reason, you find yourself crawling around in the ductwork, there's a better than average chance you'll encounter a Shivan. They're easy to spot with the five legs and all. If you're lucky, it's just Carl, who responds well to food rewards. If not, then at least you die quickly. Be aware that the entrance to the main control room is guarded by subspatial claymore mines.

Do not mention FS3. Karajorma's FAQ is your friend. Worship SCP team as Gods. Have a nice day.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Grey Wolf on December 05, 2004, 06:27:19 pm: Looking back at my first posts, I apparently never was actually greeted.

Also, I'm amazed at how much of a n00b I was....
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: .::Tin Can::. on December 05, 2004, 06:28:47 pm: I think my first 500 posts were that of my "Era of Hatred". :D

Now I'm in the "Era of Tollerance".
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Hippo on December 05, 2004, 06:31:33 pm: Quote
Originally posted by .::Tin Can::.
Now I'm in the "Era of Tollerance".

Not if you keep this habit up. :doubt:
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: redmenace on December 05, 2004, 06:45:13 pm: I think it is time to update it. What do you guys think.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Hippo on December 05, 2004, 06:46:26 pm: If it has a cat in it, I'm going homicidal.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Lightspeed on December 05, 2004, 07:03:29 pm: More like the era of "Spam".
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: kode on December 05, 2004, 07:06:45 pm: I was never welcomed. neither would I have cared. I made like 2 posts the first year I was registered.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Corsair on December 05, 2004, 07:29:51 pm: I've got an even older version of that message lying around somewhere on my HD...lemme see if I can dig it up...

Here it is!

Welcome to HLP!
Exits are to the rear and left, in case of emergency shotguns are located under the seats. Knife fights are strictly prohibited in favor of more interesting 35mm mortar duels and machete jello wrestling. Heavy weaponry, such as plasma rifles, are located in the weapons lockers, but these can only be unlocked by an admin or a Volitioner. The giant rats in the barracks are not for eating. If you happen to come across a Shivan in the air ducts, don't worry, it's probably just Carl. Toss him your lunch (or your lunch money) and he'll go away. If he doesn't... pray. That will be all, we hope you will enjoy your stay.

Oh, and does anybody remember this goodie that Shrike posted over at the VWBB or VBB (can't remember which)?
WE ARE HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS. YOU WILL LOWER YOUR FIREWALLS AND SURRENDER YOUR COMPUTERS. WE WILL ADD YOUR INTELLECTUAL AND VERNACULAR DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN. YOUR FORUM WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: .::Tin Can::. on December 05, 2004, 07:31:36 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Lightspeed
More like the era of "Spam".

Prove it.

Corsair: Interesting greeting. Think we should merge the two?
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Knight Templar on December 05, 2004, 07:31:46 pm: Corsair: I remember getting that at the VBB. :D

Tin: :wtf: Your first 1000 posts were spam.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Corsair on December 05, 2004, 07:33:33 pm: Quote
Originally posted by .::Tin Can::.
Corsair: Interesting greeting. Think we should merge the two?

:nod:
There was also a version I remember that assigned the n00b to be Thunderfireth's personal slave.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: .::Tin Can::. on December 05, 2004, 07:34:30 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Knight Templar
Corsair: I remember getting that at the VBB. :D

Tin: :wtf: Your first 1000 posts were spam.

Im talking about now, not "then"
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Hippo on December 05, 2004, 07:35:34 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Knight Templar
Tin: :wtf: Your first 1000 posts were spam.

And still counting!
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Carl on December 05, 2004, 07:51:57 pm: you guys, there is no "offical" greeting. everyone puts their own creative spin on it, so it's similar but different every time.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Corsair on December 05, 2004, 08:23:23 pm: Doesn't mean we can't talk about it. :p

You just enjoy having a big role that's always changing in so many of the welcome messages.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: .::Tin Can::. on December 05, 2004, 09:11:49 pm: To me, Carl, the welcome messages just seem to be getting shorter and shorter and shorter, so I put down a decently lengthy one that I recieved upon my first visit.

Quote
Posted byHippo

And still counting!

What makes mine different from yours? Does this mean you "spam" just as much as I do?
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Sandwich on December 06, 2004, 02:06:26 am: Quote
Originally posted by Carl
you guys, there is no "offical" greeting. everyone puts their own creative spin on it, so it's similar but different every time.

Says the "official ductworks lurker-greeter". :p
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Carl on December 06, 2004, 02:22:24 am: you have no idea how many brown paper lunch bags i have.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Galemp on December 06, 2004, 02:30:50 am: Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device in case of emergency.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: WMCoolmon on December 06, 2004, 03:02:06 am: It's because of the devolution of language.

In a couple years...
"OMG WTF WELCOME TO HLPZ0RS J00 ARE TEH N00B I C"
then...
"WELCUM 2 HLP!!!111"
finally...
a smilie, :w, that writes "*grunt of welcome*"
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Setekh on December 06, 2004, 03:47:05 am: Quote
Originally posted by WMCoolmon
a smilie, :w, that writes "*grunt of welcome*"

Is that an actual suggestion? :p
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: aldo_14 on December 06, 2004, 04:08:47 am: I like it!
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Sandwich on December 06, 2004, 05:21:49 am: I think my implementation of the welcome beam smiley made it too easy to welcome people, thus killing the ongoing development of the traditional HLP greeting.

Should I disable the welcome beam?
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Jetmech Jr. on December 06, 2004, 05:23:49 am: nay!
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: aldo_14 on December 06, 2004, 05:33:28 am: Enlarge it!
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Singh on December 06, 2004, 05:55:41 am: Quote
Originally posted by Sandwich
I think my implementation of the welcome beam smiley made it too easy to welcome people, thus killing the ongoing development of the traditional HLP greeting.

Should I disable the welcome beam?

errr....aye? ;)
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Kazan on December 06, 2004, 11:04:38 am: Quote
Originally posted by .::Tin Can::.
Now I'm in the "Era of Tollerance".

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Goober5000 on December 06, 2004, 12:36:19 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Sandwich
Should I disable the welcome beam?
Nay! It makes writing a welcome more convenient because it eliminates the need for people to look through the forums for the image link. Thus, without having to worry about the image, they are free to type whatever welcome they like. :)
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: TopAce on December 06, 2004, 01:32:31 pm: I use these lines for welcoming:
The exits are to your left and right. Flamethrowers are under your seats, but they are sometimes filled with water. If this occurs, please check the lockers for the old shotguns.
Stay away from the admin's weapon lockers and the air vents. If you see a large, insectoid-looking creature inhabiting the latter, throw him a large piece of meat (preferably not yourself), and he will leave you alone.
Thank you and have a nice day!
This text is not mine, I copy/pasted it from somebody's post. I should write a new one, which is exclusively mine. ;)

Quote
Originally posted by Grey Wolf 2009
Looking back at my first posts, I apparently never was actually greeted.
...

Same here. Welcome of the club of Unwelcomed Members.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Sandwich on December 06, 2004, 01:43:01 pm: Welcome and greetings to all the Unwelcomed Members Club members.

There, happy?
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Flipside on December 06, 2004, 01:54:59 pm: To be honest, screw dumping that lot on poor peoples shoulders when they've just arrived ;)
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Unknown Target on December 06, 2004, 02:06:22 pm: Does anyone remember when Shrike made the announcement that the shotguns were upgraded to flamethrowers? :D
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: TopAce on December 06, 2004, 02:50:15 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Sandwich
Welcome and greetings to all the Unwelcomed Members Club members.

There, happy?

Very. :cool:
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: .::Tin Can::. on December 06, 2004, 04:42:02 pm: About instead of posting all that crap, we just make the message PART of the welcome beam? That way we have an official HLP greeting beam.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: übermetroid on December 06, 2004, 08:42:05 pm: Its better with eveyone putting their own spin on it each time it is said....
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Sandwich on December 07, 2004, 12:24:12 am: Quote
Originally posted by ubermetroid
Its better with eveyone putting their own spin on it each time it is said....

:nod:
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: phreak on December 07, 2004, 12:37:08 am: http://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php/topic,8407.0.html
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Sandwich on December 07, 2004, 10:11:26 am: Wow. I was even newbish a year after being on the boards. :shaking:
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Jetmech Jr. on December 07, 2004, 02:10:16 pm: I remember getting my welcome, but it was only after I'd gotten a couple hundred posts to my name...
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Flipside on December 07, 2004, 02:17:32 pm: I never got a welcome, but that's ok, iirc I jumped right into the middle of a heated political debate, so it probably wasn't the first thing on peoples minds ;)
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: TopAce on December 07, 2004, 02:29:30 pm: Evil men, a newcomer MUST be welcomed even inside the middle of any debates.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Shrike on December 07, 2004, 03:18:25 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Sandwich
I think my implementation of the welcome beam smiley made it too easy to welcome people, thus killing the ongoing development of the traditional HLP greeting.

Should I disable the welcome beam?
Yes.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: .::Tin Can::. on December 07, 2004, 04:51:20 pm: Aw, dont get rid of the welcome beam!
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: karajorma on December 07, 2004, 05:20:14 pm: You'll probably annoy Steak if you turn it off. He personally welcomes any newbies he sees using it.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Corsair on December 07, 2004, 05:23:04 pm: Remove the beam. I'm sure Steak has a link to it somewhere, and we can all be creative with our message.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: .::Tin Can::. on December 07, 2004, 05:49:10 pm: Who cares if Steak has it, I want it too. What's the problem with it being here?
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Corsair on December 07, 2004, 07:31:45 pm: It's an easy way out. :p
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: deep_eyes on December 07, 2004, 07:50:10 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Grey Wolf 2009
Looking back at my first posts, I apparently never was actually greeted.

Also, I'm amazed at how much of a n00b I was....

LOL

most of us where de-n00bilzed back in Volitions VB
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Grey Wolf on December 07, 2004, 08:14:28 pm: Mind you, I had registered both here and at the VBB at the same time.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Flipside on December 07, 2004, 08:16:50 pm: Well, my own official HLP greeting is :-

Hello.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Krackers87 on December 07, 2004, 10:19:14 pm: Quote
Originally posted by Lightspeed
More like the era of "Spam".

Spam! Spam!
Spam!

Spam! Spam!
Spam!
Spam! Spam!
Spam!

SPAM! SPAM! SPAM!
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: phreak on December 07, 2004, 10:32:31 pm: who went and enabled html?
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Goober5000 on December 07, 2004, 10:45:56 pm: What... the... :wtf:

:lol:
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Grey Wolf on December 07, 2004, 10:52:39 pm: Spam without taste. You could have at least thrown a Monty Python reference in there.....
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Krackers87 on December 07, 2004, 10:57:03 pm: That's probably not the best Monty Python reference to use.
Title: HLP Official Greeting
Post by: Goober5000 on December 07, 2004, 11:39:42 pm: Um. Yeah. Enough of this.