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General FreeSpace => FreeSpace Discussion => Topic started by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 11:41:12 am

Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 11:41:12 am: Yes. The first report. Commence "wtf-ing" and all these other things. As I forgot who put it, "we'll be either laughing with you or at you." Thank you.
The Galatea: Damn, That Hole's Gonna Take a Lot of Metal to Patch Up
   Good morning. I am InfernoGod, reporting to you live for Hard Light Productions. Join me this week as I investigate the Lucifer's attack on the Galatea.
   *Stupid Theme Song*
   The Galatea. During The Great War, it was one of the GTA's finest ships. Unfortunately, the Lucifer took the liberty of destroying it. But you don't know the true story. Sure, you saw the Lucifer punch a hole in it. But you only saw what happened outside. I'm here, at the GTVA's Records to investigate further. Here, they have archived everything that happened. Alright, let's see what we have here... Janet Jackson: Banned from Half Time Shows... Ah, here we go: Freespace: The Great War. Let's take a look, shall we? *flips open to the page about the attack on the Galatea and reads the article*
   The Galatea was destroyed today by the Shivan superdestroyer Lucifer. Admiral Wolfe was killed. See obituaries. *flips to obituaries* Admiral Wolfe died on the Galatea. See the Galatea Is Destroyed Article. *flips to the article* The Galatea was... stupid archives. Why flip back and forth when we can go talk to the survivors? We'll take a trip back to 2335, during The Great War.
   *Time Travel In Progress, Please Stand By*
   Welcome to the year 2335, where the ships sucked and the weapons were suckier. We're here, at the Battle of Deneb, to interview Alpha 1. *begins to fly at a slow pace* Stupid Ursa... Oh! So that's why there was an Ursa in the opening cinema of FS2! Or so I'm told... Anyway, *flies behind Alpha 1*.
   Me: Good day, Alpha 1!
   A1 (Steak Sauce): Who the hell are you?
   Me: I'm InfernoGod.
   A1: ...
   Me: I rule you all. I will...uh... stop the Shivans for good in the second sequal.
   A1: Then do something about this guys!
   Me: Use the Net, Alpha!
   A1: What?
   Me: Use the net! Go to //www.volition-inc.com for free cheats!
   A1: *sqree!!!! awh!!!!!! bzzzz!!!!!!!* Stupid dial-up...
   Me: Here, use my modem. *fires modem out of a missile tube*
   *ALPHA 1 WAS KILLED BY A FRIGGEN NEWS REPORTER*
   Me: Uh... Hold on...
   *MISSION RESTART*
   Me: Alpha 1, I am God. Answer me a few questions.
   A1: Look, if it's about the space crack, I'm sorry.
   Me: How do you feel about the Galatea being destroyed?
   A1: It's...still here.
   Me: *//www.volition-inc.com. Targeting Galatea. ~K.*
   Command: Good god, we've lost teh Galatea!
   Me: She's gone now.
   A1: Crap... And I was so close.
   Me: So, how do you feel?
   A1: Terrible. Admiral Wolfe died.
   Me: You should feel terrible. Because of your failure, you will now be stationed on a stupid ship with an equally stupid name: the Bastion.
   A1: That sucks.
   Me: You didn't protect the escape pods either. You bad man.
   A1: I'm kinda in grieving here!
   Me: Whatever.
   Alright, that interview didn't go so well. Let's go to another source- Admiral Wolfe, the Spirit of Christmas Deneb. Or maybe he was just a ghost. We'll find out though. To find him, we must die!
   *INFERNOGOD HAS SELF-DESTRUCTED, BUT HE HAS CREATED A BACK-UP FILE*
   Well, here we are. We've gotta find Admiral Wolfe. Jeez, there are a lot of Shivans here. Hey, is that Carl? Wow. Look at of all of the ghostly lunches he's getting. Wonder how he got here. Anyway, let's find Admiral Wolfe.
   *unos momentos despues de llegar* (a few moments after arriving)
   Alright, here is Admiral Wolfe. Let's ask him a few questions.
   Me: Good morning, Admiral Wolfe.
   Wolfe: Have you come to give me your head?
   Me: ...No. My head has already been signed off to HLP, Vasudan Division.
   Wolfe: Then what do you want?
   Me: I want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
   Wolfe: About...
   Me: THE GALATEA! *dramatic music*
   Wolfe: I'm sorry, I didn't hear you properly. Did you say I was gay?
   Me: No, I said THE GALATEA *more dramatic music*
   Wolfe: And...what significance does the Galatea have to you?
   Me: Hey, right now, a lot of people are reading this, and giving me "wtf" faces. So just go along.
   Wolfe: OK.
   Me: What were your thoughts when the Galatea was destroyed.
   Wolfe: Something along the lines of "****".
   Me: Do you know how much metal would have been used to patch up the Galatea's gaping hole?
   Wolfe: A lot. More than Command wanted to use. Because they suck.
   Me: I see. Would it make you any happier to know that the Galatea is still floating out there? I saw it in the opening scene of FS2.
   Wolfe: Obviously. Command leaves a lot of stuff out there.
   Me: Like...
   Wolfe: Well, they sometimes empty the headz storage bay.
   Me: Interesting. Well, I'm going to prevent this thing from becoming too big. So I should get going. Thanks for your time.
   Wolfe: Have fun.
   And there you have it. The Galatea, one of the GTA's finest ships, was destroyed by a ship that had a kickass shield. And sweet beams. Pwnage. Thank you.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Sapphire on January 22, 2005, 12:00:02 pm: OMG! You're insane! ....But that was friggin funny! :lol:
(However, I'm new around here, so don't take my word for it :p)

I look forward to future reports...
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Primus on January 22, 2005, 12:07:56 pm: :wtf:
No, I mean
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 12:10:16 pm: Well, I need to decide upon more topics, so I'm taking requests. Thanks for the good feedback. Or the confusing feedback in Primus' case lol.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Primus on January 22, 2005, 12:12:51 pm: The report was damn funny, but you told to commence "wtf-ing" :D
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: neo_hermes on January 22, 2005, 12:14:43 pm: *shivers uncontrollably*
:D that was good!:nervous:
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 12:15:37 pm: lol. And to think you all thought I was insane. *thinks* Wait a second...
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: neo_hermes on January 22, 2005, 12:17:48 pm: i kinda thought you where for a few hours.
*grabs a 15 of pancakes and starts to eat as he rereads the "interviews" again*
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Nuclear1 on January 22, 2005, 01:00:08 pm: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dude, this completely makes up for that spam thread. :D
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Kie99 on January 22, 2005, 01:02:56 pm: :wtf: WTFH
ROFLMAO
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Fragrag on January 22, 2005, 01:09:55 pm: Nice, the archive scene reminded me of Red Vs Blue

Oh, btw, WTF?
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Nico on January 22, 2005, 01:16:07 pm: That was funny, but the one in the FS2 intro is supposed to be the Legion, not the Galatea ;)
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: WMCoolmon on January 22, 2005, 01:20:12 pm: :D
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Charismatic on January 22, 2005, 01:21:35 pm: I gota hand it to you man that was great. Im looking forward to the next report.
Title: Thanx
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 02:36:46 pm: Glad to see that everybody likes it. As for the Legion... we all know that the Galatea was pwned anyways lol. My next report will be February 5, and it will be titled...
*drum roll*
Nebulas: Deuterium, Shivans, and I Can't ****ing See
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: MicroPsycho on January 22, 2005, 02:42:46 pm: what-the -****!

that was rather entertaining nonetheless
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Falcon on January 22, 2005, 03:04:53 pm: That was funny? :blah:
Title: Well
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 03:08:52 pm: Not according to your standards, Falcon. Everybody's got different tastes though. Can't please everyone.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Grimloq on January 22, 2005, 03:10:06 pm: i agree with falcon... i dont get it.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 03:16:20 pm: It's just an attempt to make people laugh. You don't need to find it funny. Some ppl think it's funny, some don't. It's all a matter of whether or not you find it amusing. Don't like it, then don't read it. I'm not attempting to spam, just attempting to make ppl laugh a little. If you don't get it, oh well. A comedian can't make everybody in the crowd laugh at all times, can he?
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Falcon on January 22, 2005, 03:21:57 pm: Yeah which means they are just as insane as you are :p

*goes back to watching the Vasudan Headz eating contest*
heh look at the size of that one........... *munches on corn & biscuits*
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: karajorma on January 22, 2005, 03:22:37 pm: Made me laugh Especially the blowing up the Galatea with a cheat code bit :lol:
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 03:24:39 pm: www.volition-inc.com
Providing terrorists with the ability to destroy anything and everything since 1999.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Falcon on January 22, 2005, 03:31:37 pm: *changes channel*

darn InfernoGod has taken over every channel on basic cable...........

*puts in DVD*
heh look at the size of that one.................... *munches on corn and biscuits*
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 03:35:40 pm: lol. Thank you for saying that I've taken over basic cable. Now plz upgrade to advanced cable to find that I've taken over that and satellite.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Grimloq on January 22, 2005, 03:44:46 pm: lol... so, its just insanity? :) ok, THAT i understand!
Title: Explains...
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 03:47:04 pm: Why they keep in a cushioned room with a shirt that says "I am out of my mind. Feel free to leave a message". :lol: :nervous:
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Gloriano on January 22, 2005, 05:25:09 pm: :lol: good one. hehe
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: pyro-manic on January 22, 2005, 05:55:31 pm: Erm, a resounding :wtf: from me..... :blah:
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 05:57:01 pm: 'tis official. three ppl who posted did not like the report. others did. of course, i didn't go back and count, that's just from memory. according to four out of five dentists.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: FireCrack on January 22, 2005, 06:12:37 pm: THat wasn't the galetea in the intro.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 06:13:23 pm: I've been made aware of that.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Lightspeed on January 22, 2005, 06:15:22 pm: Entertaining.

Not more than a faint smile however :)
Title: Well...
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 06:53:27 pm: How about a talk with my good friend Franklin and his 1,000,000 clones. Would that change your smile? lol
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: ShadowWolf_IH on January 22, 2005, 08:26:13 pm: OK InfernoGod, we are laughing WITH you, and not AT you. well done. By the way, that was me who said that to you, and you are welcome. thank you for a few moments of great amusement.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 08:28:29 pm: ur quite welcome. i would also like to announce that i would like to hire some editors or ppl that would help with the content (i.e., write parts of the report). PM me if ur interested.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Charismatic on January 22, 2005, 08:45:58 pm: LOL did you get that idea from me? I was prolly the first to pm u about that..
was i?
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: InfernoGod on January 22, 2005, 10:23:26 pm: Yeah, I got that idea from you. Actually *cover op*
This has been an emergency broadcast from the Department of Advertising and Stealing Ideas at the Same Time. Had this been a real emergency, rabid howler monkeys would be invading your house right now. Thank you.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Charismatic on January 23, 2005, 11:44:46 am: >) Hehehe...
Btw, get YIM.
What the heck, you said it was not a real emergency, but their rabid howler monkeys invading my house right now!
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Charismatic on January 23, 2005, 11:44:46 am: >) Hehehe...
Btw, get YIM.
What the heck, you said it was not a real emergency, but their rabid howler monkeys invading my house right now!
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: InfernoGod on January 23, 2005, 12:02:42 pm: They just want ur headz!
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: aldo_14 on January 23, 2005, 05:27:28 pm: :wtf:

I will admit to being more than somewhat perplexed by the point of this.
Title: sigh...
Post by: InfernoGod on January 23, 2005, 05:31:12 pm: just pure randomness and fun. just attempting to entertain ppl. my fingers are getting tired from typing the same thing over and over.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: oohal on January 26, 2005, 02:45:47 am: since when was carl dead?

oh and WTF LOL:p
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Cobra on January 27, 2005, 06:40:39 pm: .... dude, that was stupid, and insane. Nice work! :D
how many Shivans tried to bite your head off in Heaven?
What was it like killing Alpha 1 with a modem?
Title: Carl Can't die!!!
Post by: Getter Robo G on January 28, 2005, 05:34:15 am: We need him for the FS version of Red vs Blue

In this case we call it Red Vs Blue Vs Green... (a three-way)

Our misfits, Carl, Raa, and Adam (or possibly one of our HLP members named after a snake) ;) are hanging out not really interesed in FIGHTING... More likely finding new ways to stay alive, however desention in the ranks does occur sometimes:

Raa, "Hi Carl."

Carl, "Skreee!"

Adam, "Look I found a stick!"

Raa Sweatdrops.... Then Whispers to Carl,
"You know, sometimes I feel like tricking him into stepping on a mine, then as the dumb ass gets his legs blown to hell I get his head and you get the torso!"

Quietly, "skree!"

On the NEXT episode of Red vs Blue vs Green will Adam piss off the guys by poking them with that stick? Will Carl suggest a game of TAG to Adam but use his plasma cannon? Will Raa EVER take that 12 step program for his HEADZ addiction?

Find out (Never! As this pilot is hideous and the Fox producer who conceived it is canned!)

Thoughts? (and I really thought this was Golden Globe material!) he he...
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Setekh on January 28, 2005, 06:48:47 am: Well, I enjoyed that. ;)
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Dough with Fish on January 30, 2005, 01:05:38 pm: lol

That was certianly different.

I demand more!
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Kie99 on January 30, 2005, 02:15:30 pm: I thought it became weekly? Its been a week.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: WMCoolmon on January 30, 2005, 02:18:51 pm: That RvB idea would actually be possible now... :nervous:
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: deep_eyes on January 30, 2005, 08:52:44 pm: Quote
Originally posted by InfernoGod
www.volition-inc.com
Providing terrorists with the ability to destroy anything and everything since 1999.

dude u ****in rock.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Cobra on January 30, 2005, 09:00:52 pm: ROCK ON!
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Kie99 on February 03, 2005, 02:26:51 pm: When is the next report?
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Cobra on February 03, 2005, 02:29:23 pm: some time next week, i think he said.
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Triple Ace on February 03, 2005, 08:46:21 pm: Funny as hell, whats up with the space crack?
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Cobra on February 03, 2005, 09:17:45 pm: maybe alpha 1 stole it, got high and did something bad? :D
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: Charismatic on February 05, 2005, 12:28:09 pm: Yeah its weekly. He (Inferno) has been buzy lately. Il Mes him to get the next one out. Il let you guys know of the progress soon.
We have a site, and were working on some 'life journal' type site, so we dont have to do a weekly post, but we could just put them right on the 'journal'
~Sp3
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: InfernoGod on February 05, 2005, 10:49:02 pm: Yeah...so sorry people. I've been so ****ing bogged down in school it's not even funny. I promise that tomorrow I will release TWO reports. Tomorrow. Read them at www.livejournal.com/users/freespace4rent . I put a space after the link so you could copy 'n' paste. If I don't release two reports tomorrow, then you can hunt me down. Now, I shall go back to slaving for my high school teachers. *runs off into a dark little corner*
Title: The First Report. Commence "wtf-ing"
Post by: InfernoGod on February 06, 2005, 08:05:52 pm: OK. Begin the hunting down.