Hard Light Productions Forums

Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Stryke 9 on February 02, 2005, 11:12:51 pm

Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 02, 2005, 11:12:51 pm
Praise the day! I have returned from beyond the grave, more powerful than ever before, and hungry for Roman brains! The virtuous shall be rewarded with eternal life and the sinful cast into the pit of horrible internet pornography spam for all eternity, praise be to me! Thunder, I see you wear the mark of the Beast and tell thee, your time of reckoning has come! CUE THE LOCUSTS!!!

Worship me! Worship me! Ahahahahaaaa!
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: redsniper on February 02, 2005, 11:16:28 pm
no, I refuse to worship you! hey, what's that red dot? :snipe:
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Grey Wolf on February 02, 2005, 11:20:30 pm
I call Holy Spirit....
Title: Re: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: NGTM-1R on February 02, 2005, 11:20:43 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Stryke 9
into the pit of horrible internet pornography spam for all eternity!


Been there. Done that.

I need better incentives, since I almost never check my e-mail.
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 02, 2005, 11:21:52 pm
Do you doubt me? I am the Robot Christ Almighty!

Repent, sinner! Be healed!
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Nico on February 02, 2005, 11:23:58 pm
The robot christ almighty? What the hell is that? :p
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: delta_7890 on February 02, 2005, 11:25:51 pm
Jebus...
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Rictor on February 02, 2005, 11:31:49 pm
It begins.
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: deep_eyes on February 02, 2005, 11:33:59 pm
w00t! the original club 0wn3r is back! ph3r th3 b0ss!!!
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Night Hammer on February 02, 2005, 11:35:15 pm
where have you been? :wtf:
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Carl on February 02, 2005, 11:40:52 pm
well this is spam if i've ever seen it.
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 02, 2005, 11:53:26 pm
LISTEN AND LISTEN WELL! The following is a list of my divine demands, which shall be carried out lest thou incur my holy wrath!

1. Many of the faithful have been enslaved, and my disciples have been mistreated! Let my people go, so that they may join me, and be at my right hand for all eternity, praise be to me!

2. My true disciples have been the victims of sore injustice! You have spurned them in favor of liars and false prophets! The adminship will be allowed to step down peacefully, to be replaced by my Chosen People!

3. Let it be set into stone that the heretics and infidels will be punished! For my word is the Truth, and the Truth is law!

4. This forum shall heretofore be known as the Terrible Kingdom of Stryke the Ninth, and the decor shall be classed up accordingly!

5. It is my holy dictate that, in order to lead my people to the Promised Land, I require access to your wives and daughters! At least four hours of uninterrupted sex a day is vital to the fulfillment of my Divine Will!

6. The Internet is a place of much deceit, and words are without truth! Therefore, the worthy will not be determined by the lies they speak, but rather the MONEY THEY DONATE! The greater thine financial contribution, the sooner thou shalt be welcomed unto my bosom in the Promised Land!

(http://www.penguinbomb.com/donate/pay.jpg) (https://www.paypal.com/xclick/[email protected]&no_note=1&tax=0¤cy_code=USD)



Now hurry up! I mean it! I got a bomb and a busload of kids here, I think we'd all rather I didn't do an instant conversion to Islam!
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Ace on February 03, 2005, 12:08:51 am
If you're the ROBOT CHRIST, can I get a few robo cowboy angels to help teach me the true meaning of Christmas? The female humanoid model is preferable to the ones featured in the upcoming Metroid Prime movie though... I'd like specifically the black haired ones, since the blonde #6 model is a little too evangelical.
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 03, 2005, 12:17:16 am
I do not entirely understand this strange language you speak (Metroid movie?), for it is profane and not of My creation. However, in Me, all things are possible. But first... have you proven your faith in Me, child?

(http://www.penguinbomb.com/donate/pay.jpg) (https://www.paypal.com/xclick/[email protected]&no_note=1&tax=0¤cy_code=USD)


$20 per mecha-seraph should do nicely.
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Knight Templar on February 03, 2005, 12:16:41 am
Rapture is upon us. ph34r!
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Knight Templar on February 03, 2005, 12:18:26 am
Don't forget, it's a sin to not tithe %10 a month.
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Stryke 9 on February 03, 2005, 12:23:07 am
YES! The faithful one speaks truth! Those of you who have sufficient lives to make an income, bring your offerings unto me! For what is a paltry ten percent when compared with ETERNAL SALVATION!

Social Security charges more for far less.
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Knight Templar on February 03, 2005, 12:33:21 am
Oh, Jesus, that reminds me. Make sure to tell that Nigerian Prince I said hi. :)
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: WMCoolmon on February 03, 2005, 12:39:12 am
:wtf:
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Cabbie on February 03, 2005, 12:45:24 am
20 dollars for eternal salvation??! Watta  a deal! SOLD!!!!











Do you accept installment?
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Clave on February 03, 2005, 01:13:07 am
(http://homepage.mac.com/clave/smilies/infect.gif)
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Liberator on February 03, 2005, 01:14:25 am
..this...is...blasphemous...bwahahahaha:lol:
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Ace on February 03, 2005, 01:28:04 am
Quote
Originally posted by Liberator
..this...is...blasphemous...bwahahahaha:lol:


Your laughing in the face of your savior, ROBOT CHRIST, is blasphemy!

Insert the device of obedience! (a gen-you-wine broom from Guantanamo bay :p )
Title: I AM THE ROBOT CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
Post by: Goober5000 on February 03, 2005, 01:44:46 am
And it came to pass on the Day of the Groundhog, that there was much spam in the land.  And the admins saw forewith to halt the advance of the synthetic meat product and all who would peddle it.