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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: IPAndrews on February 10, 2005, 04:11:56 am

Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: IPAndrews on February 10, 2005, 04:11:56 am
1. The hero of the film, Johnathan Cabot, is an irritating short ass wuss.

2. He uses "His own special karate". Gymkata. A fusion of karate and olympic gymnastics which relies heavily on convenient access to gymnastics equipment should a confrontation arise.

3. Johnathan Cabot is sent to Parmistan, a small eastern European country filled with conveniently accessible gymnastics equipment.

4. Parimistan immigration policy states that anyone who enters Parmistan must play "the game". If you win "the game" you get to live. Nobody has won the game in 900 years.

5. Parmistan has a "village of the crazies" (aka "village of the damned").  Possibly due to 900 years of inbreeding caused by their immigration policy. The crazies who live here cut the buttocks out of their trousers.

6. The Parmistani language consists of one word. "Yakmala!". Due to the limitations of this language everyone generally just speaks English.

7. Parmistan has a "salt mine". Which consists of a huge pile of refined salt which two blokes half heartedly prod at for hours on end.

8. Cabot trains to compete in "the game" by walking up flights of stairs on his hands, and claims that "At least he can out sleep them!".

9. Knowing how Xenophobic the Parmistani people are, Cabot turns up wearing red white and blue. He wanted to bring a cowboy hat but his spymaster drew the line there.

10. Every fight scene in Gymkata are played out using the same 4 or 5 canned sound effects.

A friend of mine gave me a dvd copy of this movie the other day and I watched if over last night and absolutely laughed my socks off. I know that watching bad movies isn't everyone's cup of tea. If on the other hand you can laugh at this kind of stuff I urge you to seek out Gymkata. I am sure now more than ever, this movie is a cult classic.
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: karajorma on February 10, 2005, 09:01:48 am
I urge you to try Red Dawn (http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0087985/) if you haven't seen it for similar reasons. :)

Basic premise is that Cuba and the USSR invade America but are fought off by a high school football team and their cheerleaders.

How on Earth they managed to get a cast including Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen is beyond me (admittedly none of them were famous at that point but after making this none of them really should have ever become famous :D ).
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: mitac on February 10, 2005, 10:16:47 am
Quote
Originally posted by karajorma
Basic premise is that Cuba and the USSR invade America but are fought off by a high school football team and their cheerleaders.


Ah! I've seen that one on TV a while ago. Hilarious.
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: pyro-manic on February 10, 2005, 10:20:23 am
Sounds absolutely horrendous.
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: karajorma on February 10, 2005, 10:53:27 am
It's one of those so bad it's good movies (I suspect Gymkata is similar). You should never watch a movie like this on your own. What you do is go out with some friends. Have a few drinks and then put a movie like this on. You'll have a great time.

Besides if you don't see it you'll never fully get the irony of Operation Red Dawn (http://www.news24.com/News24/World/Iraq/0,,2-10-1460_1459461,00.html)
Title: Re: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: aldo_14 on February 10, 2005, 03:14:46 pm
Quote
Originally posted by IPAndrews
3. Johnathan Cabot is sent to Parmistan, a small eastern European country filled with conveniently accessible gymnastics equipment.


Quote
Originally posted by IPAndrews
7. Parmistan has a "salt mine". Which consists of a huge pile of refined salt which two blokes half heartedly prod at for hours on end.


Surely.... it should be a cheese mine.
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: Deepblue on February 10, 2005, 03:33:33 pm
lol.
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: Getter Robo G on February 10, 2005, 03:38:50 pm
Damn you IP!


   Gymkata was one of the memories I had repressed for over a decade (they made a dvd now? Sick bastards)

Anyway that's the kind of movie that makes "Red Dawn" look like Oscar calibur.
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: Col. Fishguts on February 10, 2005, 03:44:22 pm
Damn....I still haven't gotten around to watch this flick.
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: Dark_4ce on February 10, 2005, 04:38:16 pm
Ever seen "Story of Ricky" ? Theres a cult classic.
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: NGTM-1R on February 10, 2005, 05:57:54 pm
MST3K. 'Nuff said.
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: diamondgeezer on February 10, 2005, 06:06:36 pm
I watched the last half-hour of 'American Ninja' last month. It was... bad

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Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: Rictor on February 11, 2005, 12:08:50 am
Is that the one with Chris Farley?
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: deep_eyes on February 11, 2005, 12:12:50 am
gymkata.

gunkata.

bite off nuff said.
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: IPAndrews on February 11, 2005, 08:18:26 am
Gunkata? Well it makes a litte more sense than Gymkata. Although I'm probably biased. Any movie that rips of Farenheit 451 works for me. On that score, back to truly bad movies.

And "American Ninja'"? Yeah that's pretty bad granted. "Ninja Mission" may have the edge though. That particular movie has a fantastic scene where, thanks to the magic of looping the same piece of footage repeatedly, about 100 ninja descend on a rope from a small helicopter.

I'm going to mention "Wizards of the Lost Kingdom" here too and see if that rings and bells with anyone?
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: Nico on February 11, 2005, 08:23:17 am
Anyone has seen the Buffy movie the series originated from? I don't know if it's the french dubbing, but that thing was hilarious too, in it's own way :p
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: Grey Wolf on February 11, 2005, 06:20:47 pm
I was amused by the fifteen minute death scene, myself.
Title: 10 reasons why Gymkata is the best movie ever
Post by: Dark_4ce on February 12, 2005, 10:15:41 am
In the buffy film? Heheh. Yeah it was funny.

"Oooh, aaah. iiihh. Nyaaah. Ooooh. *kick kick kick* Oooooh, iiiih. Aaaah."

*Grunt*

*collapse*

5 minutes later.

*Ooooh...Iiiih...Aaah..."