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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Swamp_Thing on March 21, 2005, 01:21:52 am

Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: Swamp_Thing on March 21, 2005, 01:21:52 am
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7239599/ (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7239599/)

SYDNEY - Australian police called off a search on Monday for the remains of a man and for the shark that bit him in half in a horrifying attack witnessed by tourists on a luxury boat off Australia's remote west coast.

Cue the Jaws soundtrack now.  :nervous: :nervous: :nervous:

There are lots of horrible ways to die, but getting bit clean in half by a creature with a mouth as big as a Volkswagen lined up with over 200 razor sharp teeth, has got to be the scariest. Like 2 seconds of pure terror...

:shaking: :shaking:
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: neo_hermes on March 21, 2005, 01:48:19 am
Freaky...
Title: Re: JAWS is back!!
Post by: redmenace on March 21, 2005, 01:57:08 am
Quote
Originally posted by Swamp_Thing
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7239599/ (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7239599/)

SYDNEY - Australian police called off a search on Monday for the remains of a man and for the shark that bit him in half in a horrifying attack witnessed by tourists on a luxury boat off Australia's remote west coast.

Cue the Jaws soundtrack now.  :nervous: :nervous: :nervous:

There are lots of horrible ways to die, but getting bit clean in half by a creature with a mouth as big as a Volkswagen lined up with over 200 razor sharp teeth, has got to be the scariest. Like 2 seconds of pure terror...

:shaking: :shaking:


Amazingly that also eat dead or dying sea animals. Quite important to the ocean might I add.
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: FireCrack on March 21, 2005, 02:18:23 am
It would suck more to burn to death, while falling from an airplane, being sucked through the engine, fall though a helicoptes blades be impaled by a radio anttena, zapped by lightiong then subquesently an electrical power surge, have the roof collapse, have more of the roof collapse on you, get chewed up by a doberman, get shot with a double barrel shotgun, kicked onto a road, run down by two semi's, one of wixh crashes and detonates it's volitale cargo sending your body (or what's left of it) flying into the sea where you are eaten by seven sharks in a feeding frenzy wich then move out to see and die in a thermonuclear warhead test at wich moment the sun explodes, and the universe evaporates and simulotaneously collapses.

Now to make this post not spam, that realy sucks.
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: aldo_14 on March 21, 2005, 02:55:01 am
It's unusual, AFAIK, for a shark to bite that much off of someone.  

I hope they don't go on one of those stupid shark-killing frenzies to catch the thing - at the end of the day, it's only doing what it's meant to do, and it's doing it in its own home too.
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: brugger on March 21, 2005, 03:37:16 am
Quote
It's unusual, AFAIK, for a shark to bite that much off of someone.

sharks find humans to taste pretty bad so they usually spit them out if they mistakenly bite one of us, but maybe this one was just hungry enough to choke this guy down
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: karajorma on March 21, 2005, 03:42:20 am
Great White's do that a lot. IIRC other sharks are more partial to humans.
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: Janos on March 21, 2005, 10:43:27 am
I don't remember exactly how much Great White's jaw closing power is (I seem to recall that it's somewhere around 2 tons/cm2), but most witness reports indicate surprisingly little, or none at all, pain.

It wouldn't be a ****ty death. Leopard Seal attack could suck, seeing as it kills penguins by hitting them against the water so much that the penguins are flayed.
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: Night Hammer on March 21, 2005, 11:02:27 am
how can one really judge how ****ty a way it is to die? either way your ****ing dead, come on now
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: Taristin on March 21, 2005, 11:07:10 am
I think the worst way to die, would be the one involving the most pain.

Since this would probably make me pass out long before the pain was crazy, I don't know if this is a horrible way to go :P


Granted, I'd not like to die, so.....
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: Night Hammer on March 21, 2005, 11:09:06 am
well thats what i mean, either way youre dead, doesnt really matter when the end reslt is the same
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: Janos on March 21, 2005, 11:15:44 am
Quote
Originally posted by Night Hammer
well thats what i mean, either way youre dead, doesnt really matter when the end reslt is the same


If it hurts a lot and a long time it could kinda suck you know :)
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: Gai Daigoji on March 21, 2005, 11:30:09 am
That really does suck, but reminds me of JAWS quite alot though :nervous:

Still I always thought Sharks avoided Human's and if they bit us had the tendancy to spit us out as it hates the taste.


Quote
Originally posted by Raa
Granted, I'd not like to die, so.....


I plan to live forever ;7
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: Swamp_Thing on March 21, 2005, 12:04:04 pm
It´s not the death that counts, it´s those two seconds when you contemplate the end of your life inside the stomach of a beast. Watching that mouth opening and getting ready to slash you in half is a million times worth than watching a high speed car coming towards you, or an artillery shell describing a perfect arc to hit you smack in the head. In both you know you are as good as dead, but somehow ending your existance as shark feces isn´t exactlly the coolest thing on Earth. Or is it?
Not to me, at least. But tastes do vary...
:D
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: Janos on March 21, 2005, 12:13:13 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Swamp_Thing
It´s not the death that counts, it´s those two seconds when you contemplate the end of your life inside the stomach of a beast. Watching that mouth opening and getting ready to slash you in half is a million times worth than watching a high speed car coming towards you, or an artillery shell describing a perfect arc to hit you smack in the head. In both you know you are as good as dead, but somehow ending your existance as shark feces isn´t exactlly the coolest thing on Earth. Or is it?
Not to me, at least. But tastes do vary...
:D


I want to be crucified. And not just your old run-of-the-mill crucifixion. No! I want something special.

At November a huge wooden X will be erected in a distant, barren, small island off the coast of Alaska. I will be stripped naked, pumped up with some rapidly-vanishing yet extremely powerful painkiller and crucified. The wooden X should be not unlike a windmill's... things, that is, it could rotate slowly yet majestetically while being whipped by cold northern winds of satanic delight.

As I now lay, dying [painfully] on my cross, the island should be covered in dead pigs, fish, rubbish and all kind of stuff, only to attract a large number of birds - eagles would be cool. Now, I obviously die pretty soon (hypothermia plus crucifixion plus obscene OD'ing of painkillers), but my body still has a purpose! For weeks to come, the different scanvegers would eat what's left of my dirt house of a body, and the entire thing would be videotaped and then showed to pre-school kids just for the hell of it.

And the story's not over yet. Before my body is completely ragged, it should be taken down from the cross (like Christ, but nothing like it anyways), balsamated and wired with all kinds of high-tech stuff, like LED lights and iPods with speakers attached. Then the now-glowing and music-playing embalmed body would be smoked to the point of being coppery brown and shiny. Now, several huge balloons would be hooked to my body (I think wrist and heels would be nice, how about you?) and the entire thing is sent to fly all around the globe. Optimal altitude would be around 500 meters, with loud and bad music like Barbie Girl and Superhero Lover + JPop blasting from the speakers 24-7. Also, my body should be fitted with different kinds of animatronics so the gross body would shake and mosh every now and then.
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: neo_hermes on March 21, 2005, 12:56:32 pm
:shaking:
(i can't think of anything to say.)
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: delta_7890 on March 21, 2005, 01:43:35 pm
Holy.  Crap.
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: Dark_4ce on March 21, 2005, 02:09:41 pm
:jaw:
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: kode on March 21, 2005, 02:17:17 pm
I thought of the james bond bad guy.
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: MicroPsycho on March 21, 2005, 02:33:02 pm
it could have been worse, this thread could have been about another JAWS movie :nervous:
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: kode on March 21, 2005, 03:09:53 pm
Quote
Originally posted by MicroPsycho
it could have been worse, this thread could have been about another JAWS movie :nervous:


Jaws vs Herbie; or "A week in Siberia"
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: Gai Daigoji on March 21, 2005, 03:17:55 pm
Quote
Originally posted by kode


Jaws vs Herbie; or "A week in Siberia"


 :lol: What the hell!? lol
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: karajorma on March 21, 2005, 03:53:15 pm
Quote
Originally posted by kode
I thought of the james bond bad guy.


Me too. Although a story about a guy who was swiming and got bitten in half by another guy would be infinitely more disturbing. :nervous:
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: Flipside on March 21, 2005, 04:34:28 pm
:lol: True!

Well, a Shark's gotta eat. What would happen if there was an outcry from Tuna?
Title: JAWS is back!!
Post by: redsniper on March 21, 2005, 04:49:24 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Janos
*all that crazy stuff*

that made me laugh so hard I cried.