Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Swamp_Thing on March 30, 2005, 10:54:59 am
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Are you fat? Are you christian? Then the bible is definitelly your "good book"!
:lol:
For weight-loss gurus, the Bible is definitely the Good Book.
There’s “What Would Jesus Eat?” (and “The What Would Jesus Eat Cookbook”). And “Thin Within: A Grace-Oriented Approach to Lasting Weight Loss.” And “Slim for Him” (as in Him, not him). And “First Place: The Original Bible-Based Weight Loss Plan.” And “The Joy of Weight Loss.”
Then there’s “The Weigh Down Diet.” And “Body by God.” And “The Maker’s Diet.”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6680007/ (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6680007/)
Is there anything left in America that hasn´t been "evangelized"?
Looks like there isn´t anymore. One of the last bastions of "wickedness" and "depravation", the beach, has been conquered by the bible forces aswell.
The summer is coming, where will you spend your vacation? A summer camp? The local beach? Fear not, now there is an answer for those who wish to spend their summer vacations preeching the word.
America’s new vacation companion: God
Jesus themes abound whether you’re hiking, cruising or camping.
PENSACOLA, Fla. - It's the full house hand of spring break — sun, surf, sand, suds and sex. But in Panama City, Fla., a dealer with a different deck is on the beach.
Matt Reis is one of 3,000 students from 180 colleges spending their vacation evangelizing.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7296549/ (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7296549/)
It´s everywhere, i tells you!!!
:nervous: :nervous:
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So is dog **** but you don't see anyone doing much about that either.
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Originally posted by Swamp_Thing
Is there anything left in America that hasn´t been "evangelized"?
*Points*
*Laughs*
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Well, at least letting your dog crap in public is illegal...
Reminds me of a long joke, I'll try to shorten it...
Guy is driving down the road, sees a sign saying 'Sisters of Mary Brothel... 3rd Right'.
Thinking it's a joke, he carries on, until he passes another sign, 'Sister of Mary Brothel, 2nd Right'.
So, by now he's thinking 'I have to know', so, two roads later he turns right and sure enough in front of him is a convent with a huge sign on it saying 'Sisters of Mary Brothel.'
He pulls up and goes in, the Nun at the door tells him to leave the money with her and take the door on the left. He gives her the money and goes through the door.
Once through the door, he follows a set of arrows until he reaches a room at the end. In this room there is another Nun who gives him a card and tells him to go through the next door.
The man goes through the door which closes behind him, leaving him outside the convent. Looking at the card it reads 'You've just been screwed by the Sisters of Mary...'
Boom boom.
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It's not religion any more for some people, it's 'tell me what to do so I don't have to think for myself'.......
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All that weight-loss stuff has about as much to do with real Christianity as Kofi Annan to bribes. Oh... wait. :p
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Originally posted by Flipside
Well, at least letting your dog crap in public is illegal...
Owch.
Boom, boom indeed.
*Giggles at Nun joke*
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Next up, the Who Would Jesus Bang? pin-ups calander.
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Originally posted by Setekh
All that weight-loss stuff has about as much to do with real Christianity as Kofi Annan to bribes. Oh... wait. :p
*sighs* http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4391031.stm
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The UN leader said he was happy with the findings of the interim report and he brushed aside a reporter's question about whether he would resign with the words, "Hell, no".
Hahahahahaha!!!!
"Kofi, are you going to resign?"
"HELL, NO, MOTHA****A!"
edit: Damn you, timewarp.
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Originally posted by Ford Prefect
Next up, the Who Would Jesus Bang? pin-ups calander.
I don't know, I think that we could already make a tidy profit from a beastiality, necrophilia, and broomhandle calander with the title:
"What would Jesus do?"
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I remember this one. This is the diet with the 'dragging your own cross' exercise plan and the 'if you can't walk on water, you're too fat' motivational speakers, right?
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I don't see the problem. Some people wrote some books that cater to a specific belief system. You aren't forced to buy them, or read them, or look them up. So what's the problem?
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There's no problem. We're just making fun of people.
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oh ok
you know i was thinking about a jesus/mafia joke....but then i remembered...the archangel Michael is nicknamed "The Lord's Mercenary." I thought better of it.
on the other hand....kind of funny in the mafia context.
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You laugh at people for being fanatical about religion. Thing is, people are far more fanatical about being nonreligious nowadays. Problem is, there's no compromising.
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actually, i find both to be amusing. I believe in God, i also think that he has one hell of a sense of humor.
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Originally posted by DragonClaw
You laugh at people for being fanatical about religion. Thing is, people are far more fanatical about being nonreligious nowadays. Problem is, there's no compromising.
Really?
I bet there's many more fanatical religious types than fanatical atheists.
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not at HLP. :lol:
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well there's Kazan, maybe An0n, I don't get fanatical untill people start wrighting laws...
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An0n isn't fanatical, he just spends a good few minutes thining up the answer that's going to offend the most people.
He's good at it too ;)
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Originally posted by ShadowWolf_IH
actually, i find both to be amusing. I believe in God, i also think that he has one hell of a sense of humor.
He'd have to, if you credit him for the Platypus.
(http://www.epa.qld.gov.au/images/nature_conservation/platypus.jpg)
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"God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
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LOL Or who can't see the joke ;)
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God is just us, which is why people are so afraid of him.
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God does not play dice with the universe. He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any other players*, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
*ie., everybody
-From Good Omens by Terry Prachett and Neil Gaiman
I just figured it was appropriate :D
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'Thunder Rolled..... It rolled a 6.'
Terry Pratchett... Small Gods ;)
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'That was the time of the Third coming' said Brutha to Om, you appeared to the Prophet in a Pillar of Flame and recited the 300 Rules of the 2nd Age!'
'Really?' said the God Om, 'All I can remember saying was "look what I can do!"'
I could keep the Pratchett quotes about religion going all night ;)
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Hehe, Pratchett is funny.
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Well dudes, i happen to be a christian. Your comments arnt that.. nice. Try to clean it up?
Most of you have already offended me. But i wont whine about it.
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Well, Charismatic, if your faith is truly that important to you, I wouldn't imagine that the theological opinions of others would have such a shattering effect. Besides, it's healthy to be comfortable enough with something to be able to laugh at it.
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To be honest, Pratchett is only really offensive in a Monty Python kind of way, he's as happy to go for scientists, politicians, royalty, or even just stupid people, he not discriminate ;)
Edit : Any Australian members that have read 'The Last Continent' will know what I mean ;)
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For a nice, fun look at religion, go read American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Basically, what happens to gods when people stop worshipping them?
And for the mandatory Star Trek reference, Q was the one who invented the platypus (Q-Squared).
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Originally posted by Grey Wolf
For a nice, fun look at religion, go read American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Basically, what happens to gods when people stop worshipping them?
LOL Spookily enough, that's exactly the subject of Small Gods as well, it's basically the story of a God who's people worship, but don't actually believe in him, and the effect it has.
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Originally posted by Charismatic
Well dudes, i happen to be a christian. Your comments arnt that.. nice. Try to clean it up?
Most of you have already offended me. But i wont whine about it.
I'm Roman Catholic and laughing my ass off...
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I was raised Roman Catholic, too. However, I believe in evolution, and the like, and have had a steadily dwindling faith..... Not necessarily in God. I can't say if or not there is one, but I doubt half the BS the church spews. Like they can actually talk to God. :rolleyes:
They're as much in the dark as anyone else, but they seem to enjoy making rules. And stupid ones at that.
also, woot. 9999th post.
What to do for number 10,000.....
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Heh. Yes we can talk to God. I do. I dont really find it hard to beleive, but i guess im use to this stuff..
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Does God respond to you? And I don't want to hear 'yes, in the birds and the bees, and the rays of sunshine'
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Yes. The Many Sings to Us. Yessss......
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Originally posted by Raa
I was raised Roman Catholic, too. However, I believe in evolution, and the like, and have had a steadily dwindling faith..... Not necessarily in God. I can't say if or not there is one, but I doubt half the BS the church spews. Like they can actually talk to God. :rolleyes:
They're as much in the dark as anyone else, but they seem to enjoy making rules. And stupid ones at that.
also, woot. 9999th post.
What to do for number 10,000.....
Not trying to contradict you, just worth mentioning. I got shoved into Catholic Highschool, and we did an entire unit in Biology on Darwin and Evolution (nice chunk of my grade too). The Church supposedly teaches evolution is true (provided it was put into place by God), etc.
Still...I question things enough to almost piss off my Theology teacher (if I was in one of the classes taught by a priest, I'd be well...screwed...but my current teacher actually has her head in the clear). She was nice enough to inform me that Vatican II admits there are other ways to get to heaven than by following Catholic beliefs.