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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Deepblue on April 13, 2005, 09:41:44 pm

Title: Essay Help
Post by: Deepblue on April 13, 2005, 09:41:44 pm
Mind looking through this introduction and posting any blatant errors/revisions that need to be fixed/made?

Thanks. :D
__________________________________________________

Working on the body right now...

EDIT: :lol: at new title.

EDIT2: Fixed sentence 3.

EDIT3: Wooo! Body paragraph 1 is up.

EDIT4: RD complete up.

EDIT5: Removed 'cause I'm turning my paper in now.
Title: Essay Help
Post by: Corsair on April 13, 2005, 09:45:02 pm
Never, ever use "you" in analytical writing. It should be something more like:

Amidst the chaos of World War I, soldiers on the front needed a way to endure the intrinsic uncertainty that is a result of not knowing who will be next to die.

That's still not a perfect sentence but it's better.
Title: Essay Help
Post by: Deepblue on April 13, 2005, 09:48:57 pm
Oh, shoot! Missed that one. No personal pronouns...

I could just change the "you" to a "them" I believe...
Title: Essay Help
Post by: Ford Prefect on April 13, 2005, 10:04:46 pm
It's also acceptable to use "one" if that helps.
Title: Essay Help
Post by: Night Hammer on April 13, 2005, 10:11:46 pm
god i hate writin papers
Title: Essay Help
Post by: Deepblue on April 13, 2005, 10:11:53 pm
:nod:
Title: Essay Help
Post by: Deepblue on April 13, 2005, 11:28:22 pm
Wooo! Body paragraph 1 is up.
Title: Essay Help
Post by: Deepblue on April 13, 2005, 11:30:59 pm
That's right. No passive sentences. Booyah!
Title: Essay Help
Post by: Deepblue on April 14, 2005, 12:48:37 am
Okay, whole RD is up... Anyone???
Title: Essay Help
Post by: Marauder on April 14, 2005, 05:49:39 am
Wha? Where's the essay?
Title: Re: Essay Help
Post by: aldo_14 on April 14, 2005, 05:57:17 am
Quote
Originally posted by Deepblue

EDIT5: Removed 'cause I'm turning my paper in now.
Title: Essay Help
Post by: Marauder on April 14, 2005, 05:53:29 am
Oh pu.