Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: aldo_14 on August 16, 2005, 12:58:13 pm
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I can't beat that headline, so I stole it :D
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/08/12/britney_birth/
[q]Britney Spears' squeeze Kevin Federline wants the highly-talented chanteuse to drop her sprog on live TV, a breathless Yahoo! reports. Britney is due to eject her bun in October, and young Kev reckons - in the wake of the couple's recent ratings flop Chaotic - that the sight of the pop sensation, legs akimbo, grunting her Hollywood rugrat into the world might prove an audience-puller.
Britney is, lamentably, not so keen - not because it's about as low as you can go in terms of self-publicity - but because she's worried about how she might look on camera. A "friend" said: "Britney feels that when a woman gives birth, she's certainly not looking her best, and she doesn't want to have to worry about how she looks in front of the camera when she should be concentrating on birthing a healthy baby."
Well quite. To be fair to our Brit, her mate does add: "Britney told me that it wouldn't be Kevin screaming and crying out in pain on TV. She said giving birth should be a very private thing for just Kevin and her to share, and that she's not sure she wants the whole world looking on."
Good for you girl. But then again, Britney's pal concludes: "Britney has agreed to allow Kevin to tape the big moment with their personal video camera, and depending on the outcome and just how difficult a time she has, she says she might reconsider and allow it to air after the fact."
Hmmmm. That's all well and good, but we can't help feeling Kevin may have missed the boat here. After all, we reckon the real ratings hit would have been video evidence of the conception, complete with cervixcam to capture the explosive climax to the event.
The advantages of such a "Britney gets banged up" TV special are obvious: unlike giving birth, where you don't really have much control over proceedings, there's nothing to prevent a girl taking a quick breather so her hair stylist and make-up guru can move in to repair the damage caused by torrid rumpy-pumpy. A bit of judicious editing and viola! - an immaculately-coiffeured Brit going at it like a jack rabbit. Now that's entertainment. ®[/q]
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This is right out of HHGTTG. Jesus, when the most absurd paradodies start coming true, we've taken the bus the Crazy Town, folks.
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Not to be newbish, but I read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy recently, so what the hell does HHGTTG have anything to do with this?
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ABC anchorwoman had to leave for maternity leave. They offered her huge sum of money to have the baby on TV, but she refused. Reluctantly, they had to let her go, which is usually a phrase that has it's shoe on quite the other foot.
God, I'm such a nerd.
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"sprog"?
British tabloid English, will you never cease to amaze and confound?
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If this does happen think I'm going to secede from humanity to avoid embarrassment...
Zylon: What? Sprog's a great word!
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Oh dear, how could them even come up with that idea?
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For the attention, anyone who'd want to do this for ratings is more Ego than intellect
Some people are so pathetically shallow :(
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Still, I'm sure a lot of people would watch. I have to admit that even I would have a hard time resisting watching that.
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[color=66ff00]*the placenta is expelled*
*Carl the Shivan faints*
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Originally posted by pyro-manic
Zylon: What? Sprog's a great word!
Thinking about it, I find it hard to think of a better word.
Bawsack, perhaps. Or thingie (and extensions thereof). Perhaps numpty.
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Originally posted by Carl
Still, I'm sure a lot of people would watch. I have to admit that even I would have a hard time resisting watching that.
I can't be arsed to watch Farscape when it airs and I actually LIKE that. Why would anyone watch some squicky self-promoting crap perpetrated by someone most of us are quite willing to agree we don't like? Is it the Monkey Complex?
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Why do people drive slowly past a car crash?
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Duh. That's what the Monkey Complex is about.
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Originally posted by aldo_14
Why do people drive slowly past a car crash?
they don't want to run over the survivors?
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cause they are idiots?
...sauce is also a great word...
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Originally posted by mikhael
Duh. That's what the Monkey Complex is about.
Oh. I thought it was some reference to eating bananas and throwing your faeces at strangers.
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Originally posted by aldo_14
Oh. I thought it was some reference to eating bananas and throwing your faeces at strangers.
that's irregular behaviour?
no wonder they look at me in an odd way.
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That's irregular behaviour in Sweden?
Damn lying Lonely Planet bastards.
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The Monkey Complex is what causes otherwise rational people to shut off their concious brains, and stare at an event, often pointing and going "oooh ooh! ooooh ooooh ooh!" Usually seen first in schoolyard fights, and later on highways as people rubberneck their way past an accident.
People often say later that whatever brought on the Monkey Complex was "like watching a trainwreck", meaning it was horrible but somehow grimly interesting in a morbid way.
See also "NASCAR Fans"
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Oh, you mean like self-aggrandising reporters at an Old Firm game. Gotcha.
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Old Firm?
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[color=66ff00]'tis a scottish thing where 22 men attack a ball.
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EDIT: IRRELEVANT
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22 men attack a ball? I can think of several sports which that could be.
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Originally posted by Maeglamor
[color=66ff00]'tis a scottish thing where 22 men attack a ball.
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Well, the ball's just there for an excuse, really.
*tentatively looking forward to Saturday*
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Her poor kid is going to have such a screwed up life.
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Look at the Osborne kids.
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I'd rather not, if it's all the same by you.
:shaking:
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yeah, but at least Ozzy is cool, britney is just a stupid whore.
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Originally posted by ZylonBane
"sprog"?
British tabloid English, will you never cease to amaze and confound?
Ditto.
Never heard the term 'drop her sprog' before in my life. o.O
Bloody Poms. :rolleyes:
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:rolleyes:
We really should have done a better job educating the colonies, I guess.
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well you never cared in the first place :rolleyes:
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Well, that's transportation for ya.
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Originally posted by Carl
well you never cared in the first place :rolleyes:
Actually...
Ah forget it it's too early in the day.
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Splunge!
Semprini!
Sprog!
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Brits have this amazing talent for inventing words that serve as substitutes for a huge variety of swear words, and in fact many normal ones.
Bugger off. Yeah, I buggered her. Ah, bugger it! So then the bugger took a swing at me. Got completely buggered on cheap whiskey. Can't be buggered to do it.
And so on.
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One of the few things we're still good at. ;)
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Crickey, Blokes! I just rode the tube to get some fish and chips, and after taking the lift up to my flat, the lou was broken, and I'd had too many laugers, so I peed into and empty crisps can, then sat down to watch the telly, when I got a call on my mobile, and it was my mate asking me to got to the store and get pick up some biscuits and get his gown from the cleaners, to which i told him to bugger off!
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That's pretty good, but you managed to spell most of 'em wrongly. ;)
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Indeed. Dunno where the 'gown' bit came from.
Now, in Scots (best translation I can do seeing as some of it really doesn't make sense - pissing in a crisps packet?);
Bloody 'ell. Had to catch the Clockwork Orange down to the chippy for some grub, but found oot the bog in me flat had gone a bit Pete Tong. And after spending ages in the lift, too. I'd had a bit too much of the bevvy that night, so ah whipped ma todger out and pished into an empty bag of crisps (Walkers salt n vinegar if you must know) - any port in a storm and all that. Anyways, ah parked ma arse on the sofa to watch the telly, only for my mate to give me a ring on the moblie asking for me to grab him some grub from the Spar and pick up his dry cleaning. To which, of course, I told him to get tae feck.
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it was a can. like what pringles come in. and darn it, i forgot about "packet". An0n once refered to his bath robe as a gown.
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"Dressing gown" is the correct term.
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Originally posted by aldo_14
Thinking about it, I find it hard to think of a better word.
Bawsack, perhaps. Or thingie (and extensions thereof). Perhaps numpty.
"baby"?
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Anyone can watch the miracle of life, just watch a documentary on PBS or Discovery. This is just a publicity stunt. She should just get it over with and pose for Playboy already.
Oh and Carl, you forgot bollocks. I love that word. ^_^
Ah, slang is wonderful.