Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: WMCoolmon on August 26, 2005, 02:33:52 pm
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The First Invocation:
"We give thanks to any spiritual dieties, whoever he or they may be, and provided that they exist, for doing whatever they have done, if indeed they have done anything, and if it agrees with our own personal views on what a diety or dieties ought to be up to, no matter how disgusting, juvenile, or deviant they may be, and hope that they would continue to do whatever they or he are doing what they ought to be doing, or that they would change their ways if they are not.
"We hope that they will protect us from a diety, dieties, or forces that wish to do us harm, provided that is both proper in a universal context and would gain us entry into the version of afterlife that we would prefer, or at least that gravediggers would not disturb our coffin or ashes for a couple of years, if there turns out to not be an afterlife at all.
"We wish that they would bring peace or death to our enemies, so long as that does not give them strength to bring peace or death to us, unless that is their wish, and only if we agree with that decision.
"We pledge ourself forever to him, her, it, they, or nothing's service in a religious context, provided that it does not interfere with our jobs, education, or favorite TV or radio schedule, and barring any legal or personal action that would invalidate this contract, or possibly even if it interferes with one or more of these things, if we are especially devout.
"We would also desire that they would reveal to us some sign of their existence and/or wishes, so that we may spend less time being devout by attending monotonous services, and more time doing fun stuff, like burning heathen. If they do not provide such a sign, we may take it as a sign that they do not exist, or maybe have better things to do, or have some fantastic plan in the works that does not involve talking to us, or indeed a central point of their activities is not talking to us.
"Blessed or cursed be he, it, they, or whatever force of nature that causes the various forms of luck, if such concepts have meaning in a higher form of existence, and are not simply concepts we have come up with to explain events that we are unable to grasp with conventional reasoning."
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Where can I join ?
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Amen or (Meh being undecided)
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Wow. I might sign up to join that one. If I do, I might even go to the meetings, when I remember.
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Praise be the Flying Spaghetti Monster!!!
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Sounds like a presidential campaign speech.
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Sounds funny. And yes, the Flying Spaghetti Monster(s)!!!
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PRAISE THE GLORIOUS HE, SHE, IT, THEY, US; ...or whatever..
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ALL HAIL THE GLORIOUS HE/SHE/IT/FORCE OF NATURE!
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Originally posted by Sandwich
Sounds like a presidential campaign speech.
Nope. Too honest for a political speech, and too grounded in logic and a 'live and let live' mind set.
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I have been touched by His noodley appendage.
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Sign me up. I assume this is something you made up yourself, WMC?
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Originally posted by Ford Prefect
I have been touched by His noodley appendage.
Blessed be the Flying Spaghetti Monster... ;)
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Nay Heretic!
The real devine one is Pizza the Hut!!
Come and praise him in his holy tower of pizza!
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Originally posted by Ghost
Sign me up. I assume this is something you made up yourself, WMC?
The idea came to me while using the shower and the toilet, so divine intervention can't be ruled out. :p
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I trust you're keeping track of the Google results? If this becomes the Next Internet Phenomenon, I wanna know about it! :p
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Originally posted by WMCoolmon
The idea came to me while using the shower and the toilet, so divine intervention can't be ruled out. :p
The shower and the toilet? Either you have a very filthy bathroom, or a very conveniently organized one.
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I saw a property development show once where they had a toilet that converted into a shower. Basically you dropped a shower floor into place above the toilet and climed up onto the shower floor which drained into the toilet. The presenters of the show, who I could swear were Phil and Kirstey (sp?) from Location Cubed, thought this was a fantastic idea. Meanwhile my girlfriend is sat watching with a look of shock and disgust and I'm in absolute hysterics.
I suppose I should say something remotely on-topic at this point. Right yeah. The church sounds like a kinda pointless idea. I mean why bother? If it's supposed to be a joke then it sums up the complete apathy of many people including myself over religion so well as to be not funny :)
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Originally posted by WMCoolmon
The idea came to me while using the shower and the toilet, so divine intervention can't be ruled out. :p
Hell, the latter option worked for the flux capacitor. :p
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Originally posted by aldo_14
The shower and the toilet? Either you have a very filthy bathroom, or a very conveniently organized one.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Or I have no sense of personal hygiene(sp?) :p
IIRC it was sort of a multi-part thing. The initial idea came to me while exiting the shower, but the first paragraph only emerged once I was on the toilet.
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All humanities best inventions have come sitting on the toilet.
Except, er, the toilet.
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Yes, and here the wheel and fire get all the credit.
Do you need wheels or fire to use a toilet effectively? Not unless you have serious psychological issues,
But do you need some sort of toilet, no matter how humble, to use wheels or fire effectively? Yes.
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*Reminds himself not to go to WMCoolmon's BBQ after all*