Hard Light Productions Forums

Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: aldo_14 on September 08, 2005, 06:10:01 am

Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: aldo_14 on September 08, 2005, 06:10:01 am
A girl walks in to a supermarket and buys the following items:

1 Bar of Soap
1 Toothbrush
1 Tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 apple
1 banana
1 orange
1 plum
1 grapefruit
1 tomato
1 lettuce
1 cabbage
1 baking potato
1 kraft single
1 samosa
1 vegetable pakora
1 muesli bar
1 pie
1 frozen pizza
1 single frozen dinner

The bloke behind her in the queue taps her on the shoulder. He is carrying a basket with a six pack of stella, a pizza and some Wagon Wheels.

As she turns he smiles at her and says "Single, eh?"

The girl smiles sheepishly and replies "How did you guess?"

He looks at her - straight in the eyes and gently says... "Because you're minging"
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Fineus on September 08, 2005, 06:16:01 am
*chuckles* :D
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: RangerKarl on September 08, 2005, 06:36:37 am
What's minging mean?
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: karajorma on September 08, 2005, 06:39:05 am
Ouch! :lol:

minging = ugly.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Mefustae on September 08, 2005, 07:09:44 am
Might I ask, what country does 'minging' originate...?
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: karajorma on September 08, 2005, 07:15:46 am
UK. The fact that Aldo posted it while myself and Kalfireth understood it should have tipped you off :D
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: aldo_14 on September 08, 2005, 07:24:16 am
I'd point out that the term 'hackit' or 'hackett' carries the same meaning in Scotland, yet appears to be (virtually) the name of a major clothes brand in England.

Which always amused me ;)
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Mefustae on September 08, 2005, 07:31:38 am
...Bloody Northern Hemisphere'ers :doubt:... the Southern Hemisphere, that's the Monkey Hemisphere...!

*mutters* Spot the edit.... ;) ://Kalf.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Wild Fragaria on September 08, 2005, 07:52:51 am
Very funny :D  I think most girls are like that with food shopping (if they're still single).  They don't cook either.  But once they are married, they will buy like crazy :)
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Roanoke on September 08, 2005, 12:49:07 pm
Quote
Originally posted by aldo_14
I'd point out that the term 'hackit' or 'hackett' carries the same meaning in Scotland, yet appears to be (virtually) the name of a major clothes brand in England.

Which always amused me ;)


our kid's girlfriend has Hackett as a surname
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Night Hammer on September 08, 2005, 01:21:03 pm
:lol:
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Mongoose on September 08, 2005, 02:54:57 pm
I'll give it a "meh," even with the translation.  Now this one (http://www.descentbb.net/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=7772) is good. :p
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Sigma957 on September 08, 2005, 06:36:05 pm
I know of a dentist who's name ends with Hackett :wtf:
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: IceFire on September 08, 2005, 06:57:24 pm
Aha!  Misdirection.  Hilarious!  I love British humour :)
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: pyro-manic on September 08, 2005, 07:21:54 pm
:lol: Nice one...
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: WMCoolmon on September 08, 2005, 09:54:14 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Roanoke


our kid's girlfriend has Hackett as a surname


Is her first name Ida?
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: phreak on September 09, 2005, 12:19:27 am
it probably would have been funny had i not needed the joke explained to me
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: ZylonBane on September 09, 2005, 12:52:51 am
No kidding. He may as well have posted the whole thing in Welsh.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: WMCoolmon on September 09, 2005, 01:16:30 am
I just noticed...Roanoke, you're 24 and your kid has a girlfriend? :nervous:
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Mefustae on September 09, 2005, 01:17:47 am
Quote
*mutters* Spot the edit.... ;) ://Kalf.

Damn you Kalf, damn you all!! *Shakes fist in an agressive manner...and then begins to peel a Banana*
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Fineus on September 09, 2005, 02:45:07 am
Oh and he's done it! He's done it! He found the edit! :D
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Mefustae on September 09, 2005, 03:02:36 am
...You're mocking me, aren't you...
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Fineus on September 09, 2005, 03:04:22 am
It's what I do... :)
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: aldo_14 on September 09, 2005, 03:47:14 am
Quote
Originally posted by ZylonBane
No kidding. He may as well have posted the whole thing in Welsh.


It's not my fault you didn't/can't get it.  Stop getting huffy.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Mefustae on September 09, 2005, 04:00:08 am
*HUFF!*
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Wild Fragaria on September 09, 2005, 10:23:38 am
Quote
Originally posted by Mongoose
I'll give it a "meh," even with the translation.  Now this one (http://www.descentbb.net/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=7772) is good. :p


That was pretty good :lol:
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Roanoke on September 09, 2005, 02:05:07 pm
Quote
Originally posted by WMCoolmon
I just noticed...Roanoke, you're 24 and your kid has a girlfriend? :nervous:


well you know, start 'em young.

Actually, "our kid" is Mancunian slang for brother. Never seen an Oasis interview ? He's 27 BTW.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Shrike on September 09, 2005, 03:25:15 pm
Well, it was ok once I found out what 'minging' is.

What is it with britain and its masses of incomprehensible slang? :p
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Grey Wolf on September 09, 2005, 03:52:26 pm
They came up with the English language, so they have the right to screw around with it.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: pyro-manic on September 10, 2005, 06:04:23 pm
It's one of the few things we really excel at. :D

And Zylonbane, I can if you want me to.... :p
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: BlackDove on September 10, 2005, 06:12:57 pm
It would have been nicer if not for the retarded English specific language in it.

Minging isn't a word.

Die.

Also, the person that points me to the dictionary for the word "minging" should die as well.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: pyro-manic on September 10, 2005, 06:36:15 pm
*Ahem*
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Corsair on September 10, 2005, 06:39:18 pm
:lol: I liked it... once I knew what minging was. Gawd, can't we all just speak American already?

:nervous::D

*runs*
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Shrike on September 11, 2005, 01:27:59 am
Quote
Originally posted by Corsair
:lol: I liked it... once I knew what minging was. Gawd, can't we all just speak American already?

:nervous::D

*runs*
Or at least not-british.

I swear brits just invent words and meanings just to fool the outlanders.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Martinus on September 11, 2005, 02:10:58 am
[color=66ff00]Lets compare British English to american English.

Foot-path: A path you walk on, you know... with your feet.
Side-walk: Side of what? Ham? You're walking on ham? Are you mad?

Shop: A place you buy things from.
Store: A place you keep things in.

Pram: A parent powered vehicle for children.
Buggy: Poorly written, prone to crashing.

Sweets: Tasty treats, mainly carbohydrate and E-numbers.
Candy: Last thursday's centrefold girl.

Television: Factual and fictional programming interspersed with advertisements.
Television: Factual and fictional advertisements interspersed with programming.

and one other thing that's always confused me...

Metric unit: Look, it all comes down to base 10! w00t!
Imperial unit: Incomprehensible and stupid unit of measurement.


As far as I'm concerned you americans don't even speak English!
Bloody head-cases.
[/color]
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Mongoose on September 11, 2005, 02:20:29 am
Last time I checked, Britain was the one who invented the Imperial system and still uses it today, so you can't pin that one on us.  I'll give you the television one, though. :p
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: CP5670 on September 11, 2005, 02:22:30 am
You forgot about apartment/flat and elevator/lift. Those are the ones I have heard most often during my visits to India (where they essentially use British English); people always refer to "flats" and "lifts", leaving me scratching my head. :p
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: WMCoolmon on September 11, 2005, 02:25:47 am
And just how does "Bloody prices" make sense? :p
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Martinus on September 11, 2005, 02:33:19 am
[color=66ff00]I've started a pan-atlantic dictionary slinging melee. :D
[/color]
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: WMCoolmon on September 11, 2005, 02:39:02 am
*Offers Maeg a fag*
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Descenterace on September 11, 2005, 03:03:14 am
The Imperial system was used because people often needed to divide by 2, 3, 4, etc easily. It made sense to use a 12-based system.

These days, the level of education is better and we have calculators to divide awkward numbers. We can therefore switch to a more logical system for showing magnitude.

So the Imperial system is now obsolete. Just like the abacus: a thousand years ago, it was the best there was. Nowadays, we have something better.


We have the metric system now, people! It's better! The only reason we keep the Imperial system running in the background is for the minority of Luddites. In America, it would appear that they're in the majority.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Singh on September 11, 2005, 03:09:47 am
Quote
Originally posted by Shrike
Well, it was ok once I found out what 'minging' is.

What is it with britain and its masses of incomprehensible slang? :p


Meh.....contonese slang and curses are far more numerous and entertaining, even though I don't know what 75% of em mean :p
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Grey Wolf on September 11, 2005, 04:21:43 am
SI. Not metric.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Roanoke on September 11, 2005, 07:16:06 am
Quote
Originally posted by WMCoolmon
*Offers Maeg a fag*


:nervous:

who wants to tell him ?
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: vyper on September 11, 2005, 09:17:53 am
Quote
Originally posted by Maeglamor
[color=66ff00]Lets compare British English to american English.

Foot-path: A path you walk on, you know... with your feet.
Side-walk: Side of what? Ham? You're walking on ham? Are you mad?

Shop: A place you buy things from.
Store: A place you keep things in.

Pram: A parent powered vehicle for children.
Buggy: Poorly written, prone to crashing.

Sweets: Tasty treats, mainly carbohydrate and E-numbers.
Candy: Last thursday's centrefold girl.

Television: Factual and fictional programming interspersed with advertisements.
Television: Factual and fictional advertisements interspersed with programming.

and one other thing that's always confused me...

Metric unit: Look, it all comes down to base 10! w00t!
Imperial unit: Incomprehensible and stupid unit of measurement.


As far as I'm concerned you americans don't even speak English!
Bloody head-cases.
[/color]
[/size]


You know what's truly great? You guys just got spanked by an IRISHMAN over British English. :lol:
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Fineus on September 11, 2005, 09:27:18 am
Sig material :D
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: BlackDove on September 11, 2005, 10:19:17 am
Quote
Originally posted by Maeglamor
[color=66ff00]Lets compare British English to american English.

Foot-path: A path you walk on, you know... with your feet.
Side-walk: Side of what? Ham? You're walking on ham? Are you mad?

Shop: A place you buy things from.
Store: A place you keep things in.

Pram: A parent powered vehicle for children.
Buggy: Poorly written, prone to crashing.

Sweets: Tasty treats, mainly carbohydrate and E-numbers.
Candy: Last thursday's centrefold girl.

Television: Factual and fictional programming interspersed with advertisements.
Television: Factual and fictional advertisements interspersed with programming.

and one other thing that's always confused me...

Metric unit: Look, it all comes down to base 10! w00t!
Imperial unit: Incomprehensible and stupid unit of measurement.


As far as I'm concerned you americans don't even speak English!
Bloody head-cases.
[/color]


Ooooooooo

It's the lift-elevator joke.














Jackass.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Fineus on September 11, 2005, 10:31:05 am
Unnecessary flaming, Blackdove? :doubt:

Stop.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Martinus on September 11, 2005, 12:45:59 pm
[color=66ff00]Yeah, keep it light dude.

Speaking of lift/elevator, one of the largest 'shopping mall's' in Belfast has no small number of escalators and elevators. The logo of the maker is clearly emblazoned on each device.

Why I had to point out the comedy value of lifts made by Schindler is beyond me...
[/color]
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: aldo_14 on September 11, 2005, 01:57:22 pm
:lol:
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: BlackDove on September 11, 2005, 02:00:14 pm
Seriously, anyone who does the lift-elevator comparion again (and I say again, because it has been done so many times it has become a constant entity) deserves everything that's coming to him.

My mind screams when I see people bring the same thing up over and over again. WE KNOW US English is inferior, as well as all of the differences.

Though in my defense, that wasn't a flame.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Fineus on September 11, 2005, 02:10:17 pm
Dude, you called him a jackass. That's not a valid point to any arguement.

Bite your tongue and look the other way next time, hmm? :)
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: BlackDove on September 11, 2005, 02:28:30 pm
Yes. I did. I stand by it. Anyone who makes that argument is a jackass.

It's like saying the water is wet.

I don't necessarly mean anything bad when I say that the water is wet, do I?
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Fineus on September 11, 2005, 02:34:03 pm
Of course not. But saying water is wet is not a directed insult. Water being wet is also a fact, whereas you're merely stating an opinion and.. if you ask me.. reading far too deeply into something that was said.

Am I to take it then, that by the way you keep talking about this... you're incapable of dropping it?
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: aldo_14 on September 11, 2005, 02:46:11 pm
It's a ****ing joke BD.  Let it go and retract the stick from up your arse, eh?

Jeebus.
Title: Girl walks into a supermarket
Post by: Nuclear1 on September 11, 2005, 09:40:06 pm
Quote
Originally posted by vyper
You know what's truly great? You guys just got spanked by an IRISHMAN over British English. :lol:


Quote
Originally posted by Kalfireth
Sig material :D


I would, but that means I'd have to take some of Fragrag's random humor out... :D

Quote
I've started a pan-atlantic dictionary slinging melee.


:lol: