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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Corsair on June 14, 2004, 02:59:05 pm

Title: The 213 things...
Post by: Corsair on June 14, 2004, 02:59:05 pm
that Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army. (http://www.avalanchetankers.us/archives/000058.html)
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69. May not pretend to be a facist stormtrooper, while on duty.
90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection.
91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.

:D
Title: The 213 things...
Post by: J3Vr6 on June 14, 2004, 03:07:42 pm
Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on Government time


HAHAHAHAHA!  Ok, I'm done now.
Title: The 213 things...
Post by: Stunaep on June 14, 2004, 03:08:11 pm
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The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.


That explain's the small amount of estonian soldiers....
Title: The 213 things...
Post by: Martinus on June 14, 2004, 04:07:17 pm
[color=66ff00]I may have cracked one or more ribs whilst reading that lot. Bloody ace! :yes:
[/color]
Title: The 213 things...
Post by: Rictor on June 14, 2004, 04:12:25 pm
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Not allowed to join any militia.

Not allowed to form any militia.

Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my 'Sampson like powers'.

The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'.

Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

'Napalm sticks to kids' is *not* a motivational phrase.

Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.

There is no ‘Anti-Mime' campaign in Bosnia.

I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.

I am not in need of a more suitable host body.

A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.

Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.

I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.

I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s.

I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe.

The Microsoft ® ‘Dancing Paperclip’ is not authorized to countermand any orders.

Shouting ‘Let’s do the village! Let’s do the whole ****ing village!’ while out on a mission is bad.

The revolution is not now.

I do not get 'that time of month'.

Not allowed to 'defect' to OPFOR during training missions.

We do not 'charge into battle, naked, like the Celts'.

I am not to refer to a formation as 'the boxy rectangle thingie'.

May not challenge officers to 'Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn'.

The Masons, and Gray Aliens are not in our chain of command.

Not allowed to lead a 'Coup' during training missions.

Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.

Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civlians who are "hearing conversations" from the NSA, FBI, CIA and KGB due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain.

Must not make T-shirts up depciting a pig with the writing "Eat Pork or Die" in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.


great stuff
Title: The 213 things...
Post by: Ghostavo on June 14, 2004, 04:22:52 pm
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Not allowed to sing 'High Speed Dirt' by Megadeth during airborne operations. ('See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I'm off to meet my maker')


:lol:
Title: The 213 things...
Post by: Taristin on June 14, 2004, 05:10:00 pm
The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'. :lol:
Title: The 213 things...
Post by: Taristin on June 14, 2004, 05:19:18 pm
113.  There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from ‘Full Monty’ every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff".

131. No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113.