Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Scuddie on December 23, 2005, 12:28:10 am
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I feel no regard for the people around me, and I don't believe they deserve any. I am feeling like I have no reason to continue this travesty called 'life'. The suffering that was forced unto me has driven me to a point of not caring for or about any one person on the face of this disgusting planet. The vicious cycle of hatred to suffering to hatred, often called the gears of madness, has taken its hold upon me. The festering despisal I have for this world takes me to a point where I embrace the madness, the hatred, the sickness. I may be too far to be saved now, and I do not wish for it.
As time continues to exhaust my sanity, I begin to question the motive behind such a foul existance; how an unstable and useless life is worth living. The days of innocence have long since passed, we are left only with a rotting, toxic way for our livelyhood. The purely dark intentions of those who outweigh the rest are poisoning the minds of the loving. Hatred begins to take hold, and the pusseus environment is in plain sight, for everyone to observe, but without care.
This hopelessness ignites fear and hatred upon the most, spawning the same dark tendencies that caused their disturbed existance. This endless conundrum feeds upon the minds of the weak, creating further insecurity and pain. While every now and then, a series of events may be diverting from the suffering, this brief period of joy is consumed by the blackness. When seen over an extended period of time, our lives are nothing more than an infinite sadness.
But I am so far disgusted with my situation, that I feel retribution is the only solution. This absolute hatred that I now have for others is consuming my sanity, and I must fight it. But I don't wish to vanquish the hate, I wish to master it. I will use it to throw others into a state of absolute suffering without hope for redemption. I wish for the darkness to be blinding, and the silence to be deafening. I would not stop for any reason, as rock bottom is not low enough. Thru the destruction of spirit, they will suffer me. They will all suffer me.
-My thoughts
In short, I am overwhelmed with pure hate, my patience is depleted, and I am using my sanity as replacement. I hope to hell I can manage atleast until New Years...
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As time continues to exhaust my sanity, I begin to question the motive behind such a foul existance;
The very first step to what you seek is never to ask how, where, by whom, or by what....but why....
*mysteriously vanishes
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Good. Your hate has made you powerful. Now, give in to the Dark Side!
Ahem. *cough* You feeling all right?
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We're here for you, bud! :)
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Umm... if you decide to go on a murderous rampage, let me know so i can find a good hiding spot.
j/k
Good. Your hate has made you powerful. Now, give in to the Dark Side!
Ahem. *cough* You feeling all right?
Yea you ok? Is it just holiday pressure or something more?
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Ahem. *cough* You feeling all right?
*looks at OP*
Is it somehow not glaringly obvious? I dunno, it seemed pretty obvious to me.
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In short, I am overwhelmed with pure hate, my patience is depleted, and I am using my sanity as replacement. I hope to hell I can manage atleast until New Years...
I am interested in knowing why.
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Do not let your hatred blind you. Rather, let it consume you, and become the will of the emperor.
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Good. Your hate has made you powerful. Now, give in to the Dark Side!
Ahem. *cough* You feeling all right?
(http://www.penguinbomb.com/images/darkside.jpg)
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Every time I see that pic, I get the feeling Vader is about to break into a dance routine...
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I'd say a musical was about to begin...
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On the first day of Christmas Darth Vader gave to me, A Slave camp on Tatooine III
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On the second day of Christmas Lord Vader gave to me, two TIE Fighters and a slave camp on Tatooine III....
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I feel no regard for the people around me, and I don't believe they deserve any. I am feeling like I have no reason to continue this travesty called 'life'. The suffering that was forced unto me has driven me to a point of not caring for or about any one person on the face of this disgusting planet. The vicious cycle of hatred to suffering to hatred, often called the gears of madness, has taken its hold upon me. The festering despisal I have for this world takes me to a point where I embrace the madness, the hatred, the sickness. I may be too far to be saved now, and I do not wish for it.
As time continues to exhaust my sanity, I begin to question the motive behind such a foul existance; how an unstable and useless life is worth living. The days of innocence have long since passed, we are left only with a rotting, toxic way for our livelyhood. The purely dark intentions of those who outweigh the rest are poisoning the minds of the loving. Hatred begins to take hold, and the pusseus environment is in plain sight, for everyone to observe, but without care.
This hopelessness ignites fear and hatred upon the most, spawning the same dark tendencies that caused their disturbed existance. This endless conundrum feeds upon the minds of the weak, creating further insecurity and pain. While every now and then, a series of events may be diverting from the suffering, this brief period of joy is consumed by the blackness. When seen over an extended period of time, our lives are nothing more than an infinite sadness.
But I am so far disgusted with my situation, that I feel retribution is the only solution. This absolute hatred that I now have for others is consuming my sanity, and I must fight it. But I don't wish to vanquish the hate, I wish to master it. I will use it to throw others into a state of absolute suffering without hope for redemption. I wish for the darkness to be blinding, and the silence to be deafening. I would not stop for any reason, as rock bottom is not low enough. Thru the destruction of spirit, they will suffer me. They will all suffer me.
-My thoughts
In short, I am overwhelmed with pure hate, my patience is depleted, and I am using my sanity as replacement. I hope to hell I can manage atleast until New Years...
Leave america.
It relies on fear and guilt to keep the populace in check. Also remember that there are a lot of genuinely good people around you, it's just that they don't get any media coverage. Go find a bunch of them.
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I think someone either did their Christmas shopping late, or has been listening to way too much Tool.
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Came for the drama, stayed for the Christmas carols.
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On the third day of Christmas Lord Vader gave to me, three Stormtroopers, two TIE Fighters, and a slave camp on Tatooine III. Thanks for the comic relief, I needed it :D.
The dark side does not begin to compare to the wretched illness of my stone dead heart.
Isn't mellodrama fun?
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(http://img501.imageshack.us/img501/8152/sign42tc.jpg)
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(http://www.orlyowls.com/submit/images/orlybush.jpg)
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Call me when you decide to get specific.
The whole generalistic "Oh I hate hate I'm so evil" is just pointless.
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On the fourth day of Christmas, Darth Vader yelled and screamed, "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Leave america.
It relies on fear and guilt to keep the populace in check. Also remember that there are a lot of genuinely good people around you, it's just that they don't get any media coverage. Go find a bunch of them.
Leaving america was probably the best decision I ever made.
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Call me when you decide to get specific.
The whole generalistic "Oh I hate hate I'm so evil" is just pointless.
If you read the whole thing, you'd get the feeling of what it was about. Basically, there are nothing but rotten people everywhere around me, and I get to deal with the consequences of it only for myself. I am fed up with it, and now I hope on making these people more miserable than I am, just to show what kinds of problems their actions and attitudes create. Eye for an eye, so to speak. Using hate as a motive can be very helpful when you're trying to ignore your conscience. I don't think that's very generic...
And the "I hate hate I'm so evil" comment... Seriously, what the sam hell does that mean??!! I see no flow of directon or thought in that sentence (if you can call it that).
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[q]just to show what kinds of problems their actions and attitudes create.[/q]
If they're acting like that they're likely to be cocks about it anyway.
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First thing I would suggest is just trying to resolve whatever issues you're facing at the moment. If it's someone, confront them, or, if you can't think you can do it without killing/hospitalizing them, go see a counselor or anyone that you can still trust as a confidant or a friend.
Remember, when things go to ****, we're here for you, but we shouldn't be your only solution. Get some help. Trust me, you'll feel better in the long run; if it's just frustration, get a nice, heavy punching bag (literally) and have fun wailing on it.
Still, if you need to talk to someone while you're in this, remember there's that little PM option at the top, alright? I tend to be online a lot, so give me a shout on AOL/ICQ/MSN/PM and I can free up some time to chat. :)
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Basically, there are nothing but rotten people everywhere around me, and I get to deal with the consequences of it only for myself.
Can you give us some examples?
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Oh, for ****s sake. Did your parents not buy you the $2000 whateverthe****board you wanted for Christmas? Or did you just break a nail? :(
People who are overwhelmed with pure hate initialize genocide, or release biotoxins or fly planes into buildings. You're sitting at a computer somewhere typing out a little rant (It's in italics so we know you're pissed off) ensuring that all you're spelling and punctuation is correct. Give it a rest.
My advice? Stop being a melodramatic, over emotional little pussy and learn to ****ing live with it. Everyone else does.
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My favorite form of stress relief on HLP is this:
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
Just the site of those little red dudes can be so therapeautic sometimes...
Edit: God my spelling sucks. I haven't even had a single beer tonight, either. (See the other thread)
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Oh, for ****s sake. Did your parents not buy you the $2000 whateverthe****board you wanted for Christmas? Or did you just break a nail? :(
Yeah. I broke a nail. How did you know? You must have some kind of ****ing telepathy.
Anyway, for those wondering, I'll give you one of the many situations I am faced with. My mother is an idiot. She seems to be the most uninteligent person I've ever met. For some reason, she doesn't consider consequence of any one action she makes. She also cannot accept to be wrong, even if she is proven to be.
For example, last week, as my mom was driving from a fast food restaurant, she rear ends a car. That didn't piss me off, but let me tell you what did. It was my car, and under my insurance policy, which she was not covered for. She was not supposed to drive it. Also, the reason she rearended the other car was because she was stuffing her fat face and not paying attention to the road. From that miserable excuse for a human being, I was lucky enough to pay 800 bucks for repair (the collision wasnt serious), a very large increase in my insurance rate, and an accident mark on my DMV profile. Funny thing is, though, she somehow made it out to be my fault.
As said, that is a small sample of things I have to deal with. Sure that one incident may not be warranting of a pure hatred, but when that kind of **** happens all the time, you can't help it. Between having a mother who's retarded, a sister who's mentally insane, my sister's boyfriend who's a liar and a thief, a grandmother who's coldhearted and thinks everything of her daughter, and a father who refuses to deal with his problems, I'm lucky to even be sane.
In the last two months, I've had my medical insurance cancelled, $3200 ripped off from me, fined for a false 911 call, unable to attend a VERY important medical visit, fired from my job, been part of an absurd intervention, had credit bureaus investigating me, and a few other things that I don't wish to bring up. These are only the things coming from my family, and the post would take too long to write if I mentioned all the other horse**** that happens outside the family as well.
In a matter of speaking, I'm handed too much ****, and I refuse to accept it anymore.
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Damn
You weren't kidding when you said you were surrounded by terrible people.
People who are overwhelmed with pure hate initialize genocide, or release biotoxins or fly planes into buildings.
Would you rather he do something like that instead of venting it here?
My advice? Stop being a melodramatic, over emotional little pussy and learn to ****ing live with it. Everyone else does.
Easy for you to say.
Scuddie, if you want some REAL advice, I would recommend finding a way out of there.
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Hmm...
A way to the dark side, hatred is.
There is no emotion, there is peace.
Live on, you must. Come, happier times will.
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If indeed, there is so much **** in one place, and indeed, if it is causing you significant distress, why not just leave?
I know it sounds ridiculous, especially considering your position, and it does sound near-impossible, but sometimes, that is the only option available.
As you said, you have nothing but sheer comtempt of the people around you, as well as the current location. Although their is no garauntee such things wont happen elsewhere, there are better places to be as well (just takes trouble finding them). If you're willing to work hard enough, and sacrifice a lot of comforts for it, you could just leave those who are causing so much trouble and disappear without letting them know anything - considering that IF they are depending on you so much, it would indeed be the worst thing to do to them, right?
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(http://pds.exblog.jp/pds/1/200505/07/37/d0025937_14552624.jpg)
In all seriousness, though, there's a little thing called a fist. What you do is, you ball up your fist, then you make it fly towards the face of the person you don't like.
I think you'll be pleasantly satisfied with the results.
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What was the intervention about?