Hard Light Productions Forums

Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: an0n on January 01, 2006, 10:08:21 pm

Title: Jesus Christ
Post by: an0n on January 01, 2006, 10:08:21 pm
I'm so ****ing bored.

Some ****er get on IRC.

/server irc.sorcery.net
/join #nodewar

/me bangs his head against the wall.

I could watch The Descent, but I don't really feel like watching a horror movie about flesh-easting creatures that live in the dark when it's 4am and I'm all alone in the ****ing dark. Go figure.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: CP5670 on January 01, 2006, 11:18:21 pm
Play an old game. It's the best thing to do when you're bored. I was just playing some Ballistics rounds myself. Finally hit 3000mph.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Goober5000 on January 01, 2006, 11:24:09 pm
This thread isn't about Jesus...

Wow, an0n broke the record for taking a thread off topic!  First post!
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Kamikaze on January 01, 2006, 11:34:09 pm
Play an old game. It's the best thing to do when you're bored. I was just playing some Ballistics rounds myself. Finally hit 3000mph.

I really need to find and download buy a copy of that game... I remember playing the demo and loving it.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Kosh on January 01, 2006, 11:38:44 pm
You can waste sssooooo many hours with starcraft. ;7
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Janos on January 01, 2006, 11:41:28 pm
(http://img454.imageshack.us/img454/935/rikerisoursavior5no4oo.jpg)

praise him
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Ford Prefect on January 01, 2006, 11:44:50 pm
Is... is that Jonathan Frakes?
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Kamikaze on January 01, 2006, 11:45:14 pm
[on-topic]
http://www.jesusfreakin.com/
http://www.jesuschristarcade.com/
[/on-topic]
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Jetmech Jr. on January 02, 2006, 12:03:26 am
I could watch The Descent, but I don't really feel like watching a horror movie about flesh-easting creatures that live in the dark when it's 4am and I'm all alone in the ****ing dark. Go figure.

You wimp. That is the SINGLE best time to watch those sorts of movies. :p
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Janos on January 02, 2006, 12:34:45 am
I didn't like The Descent because I'm a pussy, but it's a great horror flick anyways.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Col. Fishguts on January 02, 2006, 03:48:08 am

praise him

I see your Jesus Frakes and raise you a Buddy Jesus

(http://pressurecooker.phil.cmu.edu/Jesus/buddy.jpg)
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Fineus on January 02, 2006, 04:10:34 am
I'll see your Buddy Christ and raise you..

(http://www.machall.com/images/shirt_buddy_lrg.jpg)
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Col. Fishguts on January 02, 2006, 04:11:57 am
Ooh nice .... where can I get one of those ?
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Fineus on January 02, 2006, 04:56:10 am
http://www.machall.com/indexcontent.php?doshow=store/store4

Scroll down a bit, it's in there. Retails for about $15 :)
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Mefustae on January 02, 2006, 07:07:55 am
Jesus would like to have a word with you...

(http://img483.imageshack.us/img483/1549/jesus7xf.gif)
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: WMCoolmon on January 02, 2006, 07:09:34 am
After reading this thread the words "Pleasure Jesus" just popped into my head. I'm not going to Google for it. :nervous:
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Kosh on January 02, 2006, 07:30:20 am
Jesus would like to have a word with you...

(http://img483.imageshack.us/img483/1549/jesus7xf.gif)


:lol: This thread is great.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Prophet on January 02, 2006, 08:54:43 am
I could watch The Descent, but I don't really feel like watching a horror movie about flesh-easting creatures that live in the dark when it's 4am and I'm all alone in the ****ing dark. Go figure.
What really makes The Descent shine is if you watch The Cave first.
The Cave = a cave movie with goofy monster plot  :cool:
The Descent = a decent horror movie  :eek2:
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: ZmaN on January 02, 2006, 09:20:30 am
this thread sucks.....

dont make funna jesus, hes cool....
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: aldo_14 on January 02, 2006, 09:37:15 am
this thread sucks.....

dont make funna jesus, hes cool....

Pff.  Can't stand the bloke, too bloody preachy.  It's always 'praise this' and 'love thy'.  Now his dad, he's a decent bloke - always finding someone or something to smite.  Great bonfire nights, too - although using a plague of locusts to clear out the guests is a tad impolite, I reckon.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: an0n on January 02, 2006, 11:25:54 am
The whole Cave/Descent thing had me confused. I read a synopsis of both movies and assumed they were just the same movie, but with regionalised names.

WRONG.

The Cave looks cheap and ****ty, going by the trailers. The Descent is ****ing awesome.

Aside from the fact that I was actually less scared once the monster showed up, and the somewhat disatisfying ending, it's a ****ing brilliant movie.

The whole pipes-through-the-window bit scared the living **** out of me. And this is before they've even gotten to the cave.

As for the monsters: Yes, they're pussies. Yes, a 6-man team with some of those ice-axes would've butchered their way through legions of them. But they're not supposed to be monster-monsters. They're supposed to be quasi-real animals. Actually, they're pretty much Morlocks. Especially since the cave-paintings bit could be thought of as suggesting they'd once been humans who lived in the caves.

And while the ending is kinda.....weak, really - I suppose it works. It closes the plot-hole of "lets follow the markings left by the last group of people never to escape this place" nicely.

And while I'm on the subject of the plot:
Spoiler:
How ****ing stupid are they? They find loads of old climbing gear and a helmet (who leaves a ****ing helmet behind? No-one, that's who) abandonned in the uncharted cave, they find cave-paintings which clearly goddamn show that SOMEONE lives/lived down there, then when one woman says she saw a man scurrying around they don't ****ing believe her. Right then I decided I wanted them all to be eaten.

And how come the 100-years-ago team never made it out, huh? Why not just turn arou.......Hmm. AHAHAHAHAAH! I just got it. The cave-painting showed 2 exits, right? If the old team had used the entrance the women used, they coulda just walked back out - but they didn't, so they must've come in the other way. And we know they never just turned around and left, so their entrance/exit must've collapsed, blocking their exit. Then they made their way towards the entrance/exit the women used and probably couldn't climb out because of the sheer drop, or got eaten. So the women were ****ed as soon as their way in collapsed, it being the only way in or out of the caves open till that point.

This, of course, also means that the monsters are now trapped and will starve to death.

I'd've still much prefered something along the lines of only one of them getting out alive and never saying anything about it to anyone. Then the film skips ahead a few years and shows her leading a group of squaddies on a weekend cave-diving adventure, carrying a backpack full of knives, guns, lights and explosives.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: an0n on January 02, 2006, 11:38:46 am
Wait a ****ing minute.

Is this whole movie just a rip-off of the Guy Pearce version of The Time Machine.

Time Machine: His wife dies, he throws himself into his hobby and escapes to a world where evolutionary-****ed humans that live underground **** with his friends and new family.

The Descent: Her husband and kid die, she throws herself into her hobby and escapes to an underground world where evolutionary-****ed humans hunt her and her friends.

Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Fineus on January 02, 2006, 12:04:54 pm
Surely then the answer is.... yes.

Don't say it infront of my housemate though, she worships that bloody movie. She also likes Dog Soldiers though so I guess she's not all bad.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Black Wolf on January 02, 2006, 12:17:50 pm
Dog Soldiers was Cool :D

"There is no Spoon!" Brilliant :)
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: an0n on January 02, 2006, 12:45:42 pm
Best bits of Dog Soldiers were:

<Spoon> I hope I give you the ****s, you ****ing wimp
* Spoon spits at the Werewolf

<Wells> I am not breaking radio silence just cos' you lot got spooked by a dead flying ****ing cow.

<Megan> What happened?
<Spoon> What happened? We were attacked by huge ****in' howlin' things, that's what.

<Spoon> Yea? Yea? You want some? Here we go. Yea? See if you're ****in' hard. If you're so ****in' hard... you throw a punch like a wimp. ****ing bastard. C'mon. C'mon. Bring it on. All right you...

<Terry> Dogs? More like pussies!

Spoon's fight with the werewolf is the best bit by a mile. He *****slaps the **** out of it.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Prophet on January 02, 2006, 12:55:16 pm
The Cave looks cheap and ****ty, going by the trailers.
Let me tell you when I decided it was a bad movie. When guys dived in to the cave and talked with each other, with the breather in their mouth! :nod:
Every decent director would have put some kind of diving mask/helmet on them, 'cause now everyone seeing them talking with their mouth full of plastic is thinking "That cant be right"...

The whole pipes-through-the-window bit scared the living **** out of me. And this is before they've even gotten to the cave.
That's the point I decided The Descent is a good movie

As for the monsters: Yes, they're pussies. Yes, a 6-man team with some of those ice-axes would've butchered their way through legions of them. But they're not supposed to be monster-monsters. They're supposed to be quasi-real animals. Actually, they're pretty much Morlocks. Especially since the cave-paintings bit could be thought of as suggesting they'd once been humans who lived in the caves.
The uglies were the dudes who went in to the cave in the beginning. The ones the church collapsed on... The parasite changed them...

(who leaves a ****ing helmet behind? No-one, that's who)
That may be true if you are in Morrowind...  ;)
But the helmet was pretty rusted, slimy, heavy and likely quite unconfortable. And the were women afterall. :drevil:

This, of course, also means that the monsters are now trapped and will starve to death.
I don't by that. If the entrance the girlys used was the only one, the nudist people of the caves would have collapsed it. Or at least left considerable implications of heavy use and animal pieces near such narrow passage. Thats assuming they would be able to climb out from the entrance the heroines used... No. There must be another entrance. Multiple infact, if the cave goes trought the whole mountain...

I'd've still much prefered something along the lines of only one of them getting out alive and never saying anything about it to anyone. Then the film skips ahead a few years and shows her leading a group of squaddies on a weekend cave-diving adventure, carrying a backpack full of knives, guns, lights and explosives.
I would have preferred a movie version of the book The Descent by Jeff Long. Thats a great book!  :yes:
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Nuclear1 on January 02, 2006, 01:21:43 pm
Time Machine: His wife dies, he throws himself into his hobby and escapes to a world where evolutionary-****ed humans that live underground **** with his friends and new family.

The Descent: Her husband and kid die, she throws herself into her hobby and escapes to an underground world where evolutionary-****ed humans hunt her and her friends.

Isn't that the basic premise of many movies?
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Jetmech Jr. on January 02, 2006, 02:57:48 pm
Surely then the answer is.... yes.

Don't say it infront of my housemate though, she worships that bloody movie. She also likes Dog Soldiers though so I guess she's not all bad.


Dog Soldiers.

Best. Werewolf. Movie. Ever.

I actually thought Spoon was gonna win the fight with the werewolf, he was kicking it's ass so bad.

In fact, I think I'll watch it right now.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: an0n on January 02, 2006, 03:15:25 pm
The uglies were the dudes who went in to the cave in the beginning. The ones the church collapsed on... The parasite changed them...
Did I skip like 20 minutes of the movie or something?

Ah, wait. You're talking about The Cave, aren't ya?
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Prophet on January 02, 2006, 03:35:12 pm
I thought you were talking about The Cave? Well then... My classification of The Descent uglies is that they were just humies, but a bit dumber. The chicks killed a lot of them so easily because to that point they had pretty much just focused on running around and screaming. The very hungry dumb people didn't propably expect that the crazy screaming people would suddenly turn and fondle their brains with their bare hands (I didn't expect that). Further more, let us remember that the ghoulies had never faced a surfacer human before, just animals. A surfacer that is much more intelligent and has likely seen many bloody hollywood flicks that she may have learned from.

And lastly. Should I be worried about me spending this much time thinking about this? :nervous:
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Ace on January 02, 2006, 08:03:44 pm
(http://www.savant-online.net/graphics/robo_j_sad.png)

...and it's all your fault ZmaN, you made him cry by dissin' the thread!
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Polpolion on January 03, 2006, 08:05:51 pm
*presses buttons on robot Jesus' cheast*


*robot Jesus' head explodes*
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: WMCoolmon on January 03, 2006, 08:35:58 pm
Why does Robot Jesus have a goatee? For that matter, why is Jesus always portrayed as having a goatee? Wouldn't that take a long time in those days to keep trimmed, and maybe require a barber?

Oh and Robot Jesus reminds me more of Gordon Freeman...
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Ace on January 03, 2006, 08:42:23 pm
Why does Robot Jesus have a goatee? For that matter, why is Jesus always portrayed as having a goatee? Wouldn't that take a long time in those days to keep trimmed, and maybe require a barber?

Oh and Robot Jesus reminds me more of Gordon Freeman...

Because Jesus must be a white man with a goatee, otherwise he'd look like... a terrist!

...and yes the Freeman resemblance was intended. :p
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: WMCoolmon on January 03, 2006, 08:55:07 pm

Because Jesus must be a white man with a goatee, otherwise he'd look like... a terrist!

...and yes the Freeman resemblance was intended. :p

:rolleyes: O RLY? (http://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php/topic,37574)

Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: karajorma on January 04, 2006, 01:34:53 pm
Jesus On Yahoo News (http://isjesusblack.ytmnsfw.com/)!
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Styxx on January 04, 2006, 01:52:16 pm
(http://www.sharpsusa.com/blog/wp-images/media/JesusShavesFL_02.jpg)
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: WMCoolmon on January 04, 2006, 04:18:11 pm
Wow, for once a thread was derailed on-topic. :wtf:
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: an0n on January 04, 2006, 04:27:55 pm
Rerailed.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Fineus on January 04, 2006, 04:34:16 pm
You're from the UK... you know that kind of thing never happens ;)
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Martinus on January 04, 2006, 09:51:58 pm
An act of God!
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Scuddie on January 04, 2006, 10:00:27 pm
We're all going to hell, aren't we..?
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: God on January 04, 2006, 10:06:52 pm
Yes.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Flipside on January 04, 2006, 10:09:25 pm
ROFL Really sorry, I just couldn't help it.... Please feel free to delete that name :D
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: redsniper on January 04, 2006, 10:39:57 pm
You'd think God would have admin priveleges, or at least a custom title...
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Jesus on January 04, 2006, 11:29:10 pm
Yes.

Come on Dad, don't be so uptight.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Martinus on January 04, 2006, 11:32:34 pm
Tsk, no making joke accounts you monkeys. :lol:
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Grug on January 05, 2006, 04:14:52 am
LMAO!

:lol: !
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Fineus on January 05, 2006, 05:39:35 am
Well that leaves me with no choice..
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Black Wolf on January 05, 2006, 05:53:24 am
But to... eat... cheese?
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Fineus on January 05, 2006, 05:57:45 am
Eugh. Not at this time in the morning. Irritatingly it seems that staying up to a mere 2am has made me feel like I have a hangover. Ah well..
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: aldo_14 on January 05, 2006, 06:02:32 am
Have some Wensleydale with cranberry - it's cracking.
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: karajorma on January 05, 2006, 08:54:37 am
Laughs at the irony that creationists are proud of the claim that they didn't come from monkeys :lol:
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: Flipside on January 05, 2006, 10:36:12 am
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/01/04/italy.jesus.reut/index.html

Two 70 year olds in a legal wrangle over whether Jesus ever existed....
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: aldo_14 on January 05, 2006, 10:39:34 am
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/01/04/italy.jesus.reut/index.html

Two 70 year olds in a legal wrangle over whether Jesus ever existed....

They should call God as a witness and see if he turns up.........
Title: Re: Jesus Christ
Post by: vyper on January 05, 2006, 02:21:43 pm
Yeah but if he doesn't how can you hold him in contempt?